Bad Weddings and Wedding Trends - sperg about weddings here

[Fialovy]

I felt like posting this here would be good since weddings are a very girly topic and this was kind of touched on a bit in the Consoomer thread. This is basically here to sperg about bad and cringy weddings and bad wedding trends primarily. If you like the subreddit r/weddingshaming, but hate the policing of what you can and can't make fun of on there, this is for you.

To start a conversation, what is your favorite wedding a lolcow ever had? What is your least favorite?

I find it interesting that most lolcows don't seem to ever have normal weddings with lots of family and food and celebration. I wonder why that is? I guess maybe it is because they or their families don't want anything to do with each other or the people they want to marry?

I always find lolcow weddings to be kind of sad in some ways. There is DSP who instead of spending time with his wife, tard rages on the internet to own his haters on his wedding night and of course then there is Anisa who spends her honeymoon posing for Onlyfans while iDubbz photographs (not to mention her goddawful tablecloth hooker dress, but then again, what else do I expect from her). Then there is Kai's wedding where she wears that ugly plastic tiara at the courthouse, that whole marriage was a LARP though, they never acted like they were married the whole time they were married.

Also I'm going to leave this bad Pokemon wedding here:

 

[Probably a deer]

Not related to anyone's wedding in particular but there's one trend that just straight up baffles me. Why, oh why, are some people bringing guns to their weddings? is this something I'm too much of an eurofag to understand?

 

[Owlflaps]

For me, this Toy-Story themed wedding comes to mind. Basing your special day around anything Disney is peak consoomerism and weirdly creepy, considering it's a franchise aimed at children.

 

[Fialovy]

Not related to anyone's wedding in particular but there's one trend that just straight up baffles me. Why, oh why, are some people bringing guns to their weddings? is this something I'm too much of an eurofag to understand?

I know, I see this a lot with rednecks and couples who like hunting who think it is a good idea to have a hunting themed wedding. Thing about most of them is that they lack trigger discipline. Most responsible gun owners know you should never rest your finger on the trigger until you are absolutely ready to shoot and should treat a gun as if it is loaded even when you are certain it is unloaded, but of course these retards for guns being so part of their identity that they include them at their wedding can't follow basic gun safety rules.

 

[Probably a deer]

I know, I see this a lot with rednecks and couples who like hunting who think it is a good idea to have a hunting themed wedding. Thing about most of them is that they lack trigger discipline. Most responsible gun owners know you should never rest your finger on the trigger until you are absolutely ready to shoot and should treat a gun as if it is loaded even when you are certain it is unloaded, but of course these retards for guns being so part of their identity that they include them at their wedding can't follow basic gun safety rules.

Honestly, I'm surprised there haven't been a ton of injuries surrounding this trend, just the idea of having a gun out at something like a wedding seems so baffling to me. Drunken/nearly drunk people, stress and guns really fucking don't mix well.

 

[Fialovy]

Also, I would reccommend if you want a goldmine of content to check out Off Beat Bride It is a wedding blog dedicated to special snowflakes getting married and is full of stuff like this:


I am sure if you ask Pedro who owns the Mexican restaurant in town to cater your wedding, he would be more than delighted to do business rather than scream cultural appropriation at you. I am 99% sure that person who wrote this isn't Hispanic.

 

[Fareal]

the absolute state of Anisa on her wedding day will be hard to top; she made peak junkie Courtney Love look well groomed

 

[Snusmumriken]

Not related to anyone's wedding in particular but there's one trend that just straight up baffles me. Why, oh why, are some people bringing guns to their weddings? is this something I'm too much of an eurofag to understand?

You’d be surprised how many people attribute their personalities to guns and that’s it.

Anyways great thread topic and long overdue tbh. I don’t know a lot about lolcow weddings, but I was a huge fan of Bridezillas when it was on and the actually funny narrator hadn’t been replaced by a stale “sassy black woman.” Some of the wedding themes were just atrocious, including the aforementioned guns/hunting theme. One of the classics is a woman having a tantrum that would put a toddler to shame because her grown ass family in law didn’t like her Clue-themed wedding activities, and I recall another woman angling for a spooky Halloween theme wedding, trashy black dress and all. Not to mention some of the colors these girls picked. See: watermelon and guava, zebra (???) and purple, and all 100% pink.

If there’s anything that trashy weddings have taught me, it’s that you can measure how doomed someone’s relationship is to fail on how obsessive they get over the ceremonies. I know a couple very close to me, both of whom had been divorced once before. For their first weddings their partners were incredibly stubborn and demanding about the bells and whistles but obviously the marriage itself failed. When they got remarried to each other, they had a super simple outdoor ceremony with just themselves, the photographer and the officiant. The bride wasn’t even wearing a dress, just a white shirt and khakis. And every time I see their wedding photos on FB, it never fails to make me smile. It was exactly what they both wanted and extremely fitting to their personalities. It wasn’t necessarily conventional but it was worked for them and it shows to this day.

So long story short, it gets cringy when people obsess over the “theme” of their wedding like it’s a birthday party and forget they’re making a huge lifelong commitment. Like, if it’s something you both agree on then whatever but it’s not a performance for your friends and family. They probably don’t even wanna be there anyway. If you can’t get married unless you get your perfect spooky scary skeletons decorations then maybe put that shit on hold until you grow up.

 

[Fialovy]

So long story short, it gets cringy when people obsess over the “theme” of their wedding like it’s a birthday party and forget they’re making a huge lifelong commitment. Like, if it’s something you both agree on then whatever but it’s not a performance for your friends and family. They probably don’t even wanna be there anyway. If you can’t get married unless you get your perfect spooky scary skeletons decorations then maybe put that shit on hold until you grow up.

I honestly feel like COVID kind of made it clear who only cared about the wedding and who mostly cared about the committment. The ones who cared about the actual marriage, didn't care if the laws and restrictions meant their wedding plans changed, they were just happy to get married even if they eloped, had their wedding outside as opposed to inside, etc. while the people who only wanted the party had a meltdown when their vision was ruined due to local restrictions.


Also, before I forget, here is a Juggalo themed wedding.

 

[Fareal]

The only acceptable way to do a hunting themed wedding:

The wedding takes place in a heavily wooded area. All the guests bring compound bows. The ceremony and festivities proceed as normal until the sun starts going down. At sunset, the bridal party tear the clothes off the bride and groom and smear them in camouflage body paints. The happy couple are given 30 minutes head start to flee the venue before the guests are let loose in the woods with their bows. The marriage is only legally valid if the newlyweds survive until sunrise.

 

[knightlautrec]

Dear God that Pokemon wedding. That manlet groom and GIANT bride. I can't stop laughing.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

I’m just gonna leave this suggestion of Irish Traveller (gypsy) weddings here. As the wedding dress is the only thing a Traveller girl has to look forward to in her whole life you can imagine how ridiculous things get, glass pumpkin horse-drawn carriage and all.

I think there was a trashy tv series dedicated to some Scouse lass who made a lot of their wedding dresses. These women ended up with lifelong scars from the weight and shape of the dresses, and one had to be pulled along on skates under her dress as it was too heavy to walk in.

Oh look, traditional Irish Traveller girl getting married at 16 and preparing her hen night at 15. “This wedding…depends on her fiancé staying out of jail”

The 15 Year Old's Hen Party | Big Fat Gypsy Weddings

In Irish Traveller culture, you’re never too young to start planning your big day…With their surprisingly strict, traditional values, unmarried couples aren’...

youtu.be

 

[Probably a deer]

I’m just gonna leave this suggestion of Irish Traveller (gypsy) weddings here. As the wedding dress is the only thing a Traveller girl has to look forward to in her whole life you can imagine how ridiculous things get, glass pumpkin horse-drawn carriage and all.

I think there was a trashy tv series dedicated to some Scouse lass who made a lot of their wedding dresses. These women ended up with lifelong scars from the weight and shape of the dresses, and one had to be pulled along on skates under her dress as it was too heavy to walk in.

Can't remember the title of that series right now, but I remember watching it out of sheer morbid fascination. It made me both sad and horrified, seeing women, sometimes really young girls, being in that situation, really.

 

[RussianParasite]

I am 99% sure that person who wrote this isn't Hispanic.

I’m going to say 100%. I do not, and have never, known a Hispanic person who likes the word “Latinx.” It’s generally a white person cope over some sort of perceived oppression of Trannys that isn’t occurring, and hilariously they are pushing a word they invented on another race. No Spanish speaker outside the US is looking to change the fact that all Spanish nouns are male or female.

Wokes are being the real racists, and I find it uproariously funny.

I should clarify, this is the case for immigrants from Central America and their children. Once you get further afield from that though it may be different.

As for weddings: it is not really a trend, but hiring a photographer is a waste of money. You or your friends probably all have phones capable of taking solid pictures that you will like. Find anyone who is decent at taking them and ask them to do it either for free and consider it their wedding gift.

 

[Fialovy]

As for weddings: it is not really a trend, but hiring a photographer is a waste of money. You or your friends probably all have phones capable of taking solid pictures that you will like. Find anyone who is decent at taking them and ask them to do it either for free and consider it their wedding gift.

That kind of reminds me, I can't understand people who do unplugged ceremonies and just rely on the photographer to take all the ceremony photos. While I can kind of understand maybe being on your phone texting during the ceremony can be seen as disrespectful, what if the photographer somehow loses the pictures and you have none left from the ceremony? That is a real concern that that has indeed happened before. It's good to have people taking back up photos in case such a thing happens.

 

[Fareal]

Can't remember the title of that series right now, but I remember watching it out of sheer morbid fascination. It made me both sad and horrified, seeing women, sometimes really young girls, being in that situation, really.

It was My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding and featured a truly remarkable episode where the young teenage bridesmaids at a wedding explained their fear of being 'caught' by a large drunken gyppo male at the wedding,. Due to insane tinker purity culture, if the girl was 'caught', i.e. sexually assaulted without her consent, her family would insist she marry the gyppo who assaulted her. They wouldn't even go to the toilet during the wedding for fear. Absolutely incredible.

Also, in my pretty extensive experience, caterers are quite happy to bring you food for no reason other than a) you booked them politely and b) you paid in full and on time. They really dgaf about the 'cultural' nature of the event. I mean, if you're holding a KKK themed wedding complete with IRL lynching, then yeah, people might not want to take your business, but for even offbeat social events, really people are quite happy to make you food. I had a smalltime catering gig for a bit and my nicest clients were the local swingers' group. Always polite, always paid in advance, always happy for me to drop off the food and leave sharpish, and they washed up anything I needed back and had it ready for me to collect next day. I may not have been DTF but I was certainly DTQuiche for them any time

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

Can't remember the title of that series right now, but I remember watching it out of sheer morbid fascination. It made me both sad and horrified, seeing women, sometimes really young girls, being in that situation, really.

Total power level, but I’ve witnessed what happens to a Traveller woman who tries to leave her husband, at least in the wilds of Ireland, and it ain’t pretty. To be fair to the police and local people, they were really supportive of her and tried to take her in but she wouldn’t leave the little caravan she had by the side of a country lane, even though every window and the door had been smashed out by her ex’s family. The local family whose house her caravan was outside were apparently next in line for the aggro, for helping her out, providing her with running water etc.

It’s a traditional lifestyle perhaps, but it’s fucking awful for the females. Now I’m curious if some tranny ghoul has claimed to be an Irish Traveller (Ronald McDonald in Cork not included - he’s glommed on to Romanies) because omg validation. I’d love to see a Traveller dude react to a hon swearing he’s marriage material. On the flip side, you don’t see Irish Traveller women identifying out of their nightmare lives. I wonder why that would be?

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I still remember my wedding. Over 400 guests attended. I purchased a couture Carolina Herrera wedding dress with matching traditional wedding veil embellished with Swarovski crystals. I considered a bust because I got a very strong cold a few days before the ceremony that also caused really bad stomach problems for about 2 weeks. I haven't thought about it in a while, and I'm glad there are worse weddings than mine.
Here are some terrible weddings that I consider pretty ghetto not-so-fabulous.

I felt like posting this here would be good since weddings are a very girly topic and this was kind of touched on a bit in the Consoomer thread. This is basically here to sperg about bad and cringy weddings and bad wedding trends primarily. If you like the subreddit r/weddingshaming, but hate the policing of what you can and can't make fun of on there, this is for you.

To start a conversation, what is your favorite wedding a lolcow ever had? What is your least favorite?

I find it interesting that most lolcows don't seem to ever have normal weddings with lots of family and food and celebration. I wonder why that is? I guess maybe it is because they or their families don't want anything to do with each other or the people they want to marry?

I always find lolcow weddings to be kind of sad in some ways. There is DSP who instead of spending time with his wife, tard rages on the internet to own his haters on his wedding night and of course then there is Anisa who spends her honeymoon posing for Onlyfans while iDubbz photographs (not to mention her goddawful tablecloth hooker dress, but then again, what else do I expect from her). Then there is Kai's wedding where she wears that ugly plastic tiara at the courthouse, that whole marriage was a LARP though, they never acted like they were married the whole time they were married.

Also I'm going to leave this bad Pokemon wedding here:

If I didn't know any better, I would swear there are at least 20 trannies at that venue. I feel bad for that poor flower girl, I just hope she didn't get molested.

 

[Probably a deer]

Dear God the pregnant lady's wedding dress is gonna be in my nightmares tonight, I swear.