When the internet goes down, what are your plans to keep yourselves entertained?

Watch porn that I downloaded when the internet was up
 
I have a long backlog of video games but my Nintendo Switch is probably what I've invested in most over the past few years. I've been doing my due diligence in picking up what I can afford when stuff goes on sale here and there. I invested in a 1TB micro sd card for my Nintendo Switch last year so I could have all of my digital goods in one space instead of performing the delete/redownload dance when I want to play something different. I've filled that sucker halfway up with indie titles such as Undermine, Hades, the Trine series, Wizard of Legend, Rogue Legacy, and more. I've also picked up the two Metro ports at 6-7$ each, every numbered Final Fantasy game available barring 12 which I have the physical card for, and the inferior Witcher 3 complete edition port which I had enough Nintendo Gold points saved up the past year to knock down to 2$. I'll probably continue to keep an eye out and make it a point to pick some things up on the cheap should any good deals come about and I've been squirrelling away a little bit each paycheck for either Brilliant Diamond or Shining Pearl, Advance Wars: Reboot Camp, and Legends Arceus. Should the internet shut down, I have enough offline stuff to keep me busy for a long while.
 
I have historical books to read and a PS Triple modded, that's what all you really need these days
 
Go to a subway station, get in a train and spend all day watching all the millennials and zoomer stare at their screens to figure out why their beloved internet is no longer working.
 
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Unironically, what are the odds of the internet as we know it actually going down forever or at least for a very long period worldwide?
 
Books probably. I'd go to the beach or something.
 
How do you make sure that Steam doesn't get stuck at "connecting" when it's offline? Is there some sort of button I need to check in the settings?
Something that used to happen - maybe still does unless they fixed it this decade - is that Steam prepared for an update when it closed, and then ran the update when it launched again.
If it got the signal to update the last time it closed, and then lost internet, it'd just keep you locked out.
The fix for me was to close and reopen Steam before going offline, just to get any updates taken care of.
 
I would use my servers to help expand a local intranet for my small town using a mesh network. Before turning my computer room into a darkroom and focusing on getting my photographic work into local displays as most of what I do requires internet access now. Also running the sneaker net for everyone who wants to trade entertainment for cash or software. Maybe even try to run giant LAN tourneys locally since that's the only way to play "online" games. Try to build a community out of the displaced nerds.
 
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I have a load of Josh and Metokur streams downloaded as well as interesting video essays so I'm set for hours
 
I have a huge collection of books, films and vidya. And when I'm tired of them I could go outside with my friends and banter about local retards and troons.
Also I have a library near me, so I can get more media.
 
Probably just keep making bows and read books. With enough luck I'll manage to make my place self sufficient that I won't need outside contact.
 
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