Our offbeat wedding at a glance: Books was the obvious theme (the first indication being that it’s at a library), but my husband actually hates reading (THE HORROR!), so we included some Sonic the Hedgehog elements because that’s his all-time favorite video game.
So right out of the gate, the bride admits her husband doesn't read, so she compromised and let him have have some Sonic stuff so his hobbies are represented.
There's a teeny bit more, but this is the best stuff. I especially "love" the "Sonic checking out Peach" cake topper they got. Just going to go out on a limb here and guess the bride isn't even a bookworm. She's either like my ex (I'm sorry I keep bringing her up, but I have a point here) who liked the idea of books and collected classic lit without reading it or is just the product of a school system that regards reading Harry Potter as an intellectual activity. Speaking of which:
This is the "program." It's actually not terrible, but that's probably because they didn't vomit orange and purple all over it.
I'm not really a "colors" guy, but I do paint minis so I can say this with a straight face: these colors do not work together. Even I know outside of specific shades, orange and purple clash like AJ Styles (wrestling reference, STILL STRAIGHT). Burgundy! Burgundy goes with that deep purple! I have a Blood Bowl team that uses those colors and they look great! Also, the books in photo 2? Hilarious.
The song that I was supposed to walk down the aisle to was a classical version of “Green Hill Zone” music (the music from the first Sonic the Hedgehog level.) But it was just my iPod and my sister had done it and didn’t put it on its own playlist and also didn’t put it on repeat. So my iPod just went to the next song.
…Which happened to be “The Bear Necessities”. My dad and I started walking down the aisle at the exact moment that Baloo started singing and we both just lost it and broke out in laughter right as I made my grand entrance. It made for my absolutely favorite photo of the entire wedding.
So, moving past the truly exceptional decision of including GHZ to walk to (terrible entrance music, beat is too fast for a slow walk) having another song come on about just scraping by day to day and just lazing about? Not exactly a great song for a wedding. Now, I don't mind a bit of plumpness (in fact, her body type isn't really different from quite a few girls I've pursued) but her face...man. Plain Jane seems about right. At least the dress and hair are on point, makes her look better. I can imagine her in street clothes and...well, moving on.
We had a really good friend of mine, who had been my roommate when my husband and I started dating, read a poem for us in our ceremony. It was nice because I hadn’t been able to make her a bridesmaid, but she still did a LOT of stuff my bridesmaids did (because she’s just a good friend), so I was really glad that we were able to still have her be a part of our wedding.
And here's our manlet groom! Man, he looks like a Sonic fan. The arch once more shows why you don't use orange and purple. Ignore my internal reeing that a woman's officiating, I'm Catholic. I have to wonder why her supposedly great friend couldn't be a bridesmaid. By the way, that poem she read?
Bro, that's not a poem, that's a comedy sketch! I can't prove it was exactly this one, but considering throughout the entry the bride seems to be trying really hard to come off as "lol so quirky" I'm willing to bet my next paycheck on it.
We did a wine box ceremony. We put a bottle of wine in a box with two notes that we each had written and you lock the box. On your fifth anniversary, you open the box, drink the wine, and read the notes. Not sure why I chose this, considering my husband doesn’t drink and, at the time, I hated red wine, so I chose a champagne (which doesn’t usually age as well), but I think I liked the idea of it.
Listen ladies, as a guy I'm going to give you a piece of advice: do NOT do something just because it seems "sweet and romantic." If it doesn't suit you, do NOT do it. This applies to everything. If your guy likes D&D and you don't, don't force yourself to the table to "get closer," Same for picking cars, same for rose petals on the mattress, and especially same for alcohol. Case in point: if you don't drink, or don't like the traditional booze what's stopping you from just writing the notes? Hell, having five boxes could work: just open one each anniversary with different notes. Don't ruin perfectly good champagne!
Now, on a lighter note, the "lol so quirky" wedding photo extravaganza (complete with the rarely seen girly soyface)!
I wore orange converse sneakers under my wedding dress. For many reasons, but the biggest was I wanted shoes I would use again. (Seven years later and I still wear them!)
My mother complained about those shoes the entire two years that I was planning my wedding. She would constantly show me different shoes, or try and talk me out of it, or try and tell me that no one would be looking at me, they would only be looking at my feet. It’s STILL a sore point with her.
Just...why?! Why ruin a good ensemble with "lol so quirky?" Ladies, can you make this make sense? And what's with shoving the fucking cake down each other's throats? What happened to just holding the piece so the couple can take nice bites. ALL of the weddings I've been to the bride just SHOVES the cake in the groom's face, then he shoves back as revenge. It's not funny, it's childish and stupid. Well, whatever, have at it. I'm going back to make fun of Moviebob.
