I have a really bad cold and my mom made me take a coof test but it came back negative. I was willing to take one since I was pretty sure I don’t have it since this is very much a head cold and my chest feels completely fine. I’m not coughing and haven‘t lost my sense of smell or taste either. Definitely a rhinovirus and not a coronavirus. Plus since I have a job now a positive coof test would mean I could take like a week off I suppose. But I don’t have the coof, although I called in sick today anyway because I still feel like shit.
My mom said the swab wouldn’t have to go all the way up my nose and she fucking lied. I couldn’t get the angle right so my dad had to do it and when he hit the top of my nostril it really hurt and made me cry. Then they laughed at me since apparently my sister’s boyfriend’s 12 year old little brother does 2 coof tests a day since his mom has lupus and a whole bunch of other ailments. Kid’s more resilient than me that’s for sure, if I had to do that many nose swabs I’d have probably topped myself by now. The throat swab wasn’t that bad though, I did that part myself and gagging is less unpleasant than someone poking your already aching sinuses with a stick. I never want to do another one of those tests again though. I can see why my grandad refused to do one when the coof went through all the residents of my Nan’s house (they all survived but it was like a 2 week long bad flu for them since everyone in that house is old and/or fat). On the plus side it strengthened my will to never dabble in the recreational use of any mind altering substance that has to be snorted, since having something solid shoved up my nose was really unpleasant.
While I was watching tv and waiting for the test results I told my mom about the kids who were pouring fruit juice or Coca Cola on their tests to make them come back positive and get time off school a few months back. She got like weirdly offended about that for some reason. Not the kids, but the existence of the article itself. She tried calling it fake news but then when I told her a whole bunch of outlets ran the story including the Guardian she was all like “why do you have to look for this stuff? Why can’t you just do your test?” Even though I literally just did the test and it’s not like I went looking for the article back when it came out. I don’t know what she wants me to say, sorry you raised a human being with functional critical thinking skills that vaguely keeps up with current events I guess.
Ever since I refused the jab she keeps calling me Typhoid Mary which is really funny since the vaccine is non-sterilising so it doesn’t prevent transmission and just lessens symptoms if you do get it, and also I don’t have the coof so if anyone in this house is a Typhoid Mary it’s gonna be all my other vaccinated family members. The only people to refuse the jab are me and my grandad. I do actually think my grandad refusing it is a bit stupid since he’s in the age group that the coof could really do a number on so if anyone would benefit from a short term lessening of symptoms it’s probably him. That said, he has had it already though and his natural immunity will probably last for a decent amount of time so he probably doesn’t need to hop on the bandwagon this instant. He’s just the ideal target demographic for a booster perhaps. I’m not getting it since as a healthy 23 year old the chances of me dying of the coof are already practically nil and the vaccine doesn’t even stop transmission anyway. Plus I don’t want to validate the government’s nudge unit tactics by getting the jab, the more they try to coerce me into it with fearmongering the more I want to dig my heels in. Vaccine passports also give me the heebie jeebies but luckily England seems to be pretty chill about that, at least for now.
This is gonna sound really melodramatic and dumb but in the event that the government decides to go full retard with their coof measures, I’m hoping my refusal to get the vaccine will keep my parents tendency towards maintaining the status quo in check. It’ll be harder to agree that all the unvaccinated should be put into camps or something if such a policy would directly affect one of their own children. And if they’d agree with such a thing regardless, then at least I know where their true allegiance lies.
I’m aware I’d need to get the jab to leave the country to go on an international holiday, but I’m not planning on doing that again for at least the next 2-4 years while I try to get something vaguely resembling a career off the ground and attempt to become a somewhat functional adult so I can wait things out to see if that requirement ever goes away.
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