Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Aunt Myrna]

Overcooked on the thinnest of strips, burned due to the sugars in all but it seems the pork and steak rub, and that steak is fucking mooing still, not even blue. Signs strongly point to him putting it under roasting or broiling temperatures.

Also it was telling when I watched this shitty video last night the reason he looked forward to the steak rub and chinese rubs were those were the largest hunks of meat. As for the thin strips, I suspect that was Jack actually trying to take the hater's comments seriously, or more likely trying to copy Rob. Jack is a manbaby who seems to prefer visual media and hatewatching rather than hatereading after all.

Was just about to mention this. The initial state of the chicken pieces is ridiculous. It's like he started with 1 whole breast, cut it in half, and further cut one of the halves into uneven thirds. WHY? It looks absolutely absurd. Fat man Jacks it up yet again.

 

[ZipDisk]

In the Pizza Ranch video Jack doesn't have his customary "IT'S CHRISTMAS" attitude he usually has on the way to a grease depository.

-He admits they already went to cracker barrel that day.
OOH, this was Telephone Tower day!

-It's bacon cheeseburger pizza jack, shut the fuck up about pulled pork.

-Pizza warm in ma mouf

-Sipping sauce again

-Gaping maw on the score.

Jack bingo, he hits all the trademarks.

It's an A, because it's a Buffet.

 

[wdymbro]

Was just about to mention this. The initial state of the chicken pieces is ridiculous. It's like he started with 1 whole breast, cut it in half, and further cut one of the halves into uneven thirds. WHY? It looks absolutely absurd. Fat man Jacks it up yet again.

This chicken is most likely from his knife test video not too long ago as someone mentioned in the thread. God was telling him to use his dead arm (Tammy wouldn't help him with that video because she was sick of him spending her money) and his attempts at cutting things resulted in this.

 

[Super Hans]

that pizza looks exactly like the frozen kind you can get at the 99 cent store. everything they ate looked terrible and tasteless, but of course it gets an A from jack because it's all you can eat

i did a little research on the place and apparently pizza ranch is a chain with hundreds of locations in the midwest. because of course these boomers can't eat anywhere that's not a chain. i also discovered that one of the co-founders was sentenced to prison in 2001 for sexually abusing male teen employees and offering them money in exchange for semen samples. right up jack's alley!

Pizza Ranch is as far down you can go on the pizza ladder. When I used to go, it was only because my friends and I were stoned and Friday nights had all you can eat for $10. Even then we knew it was shit, but it's that or some other fast food for the same price that you forgot you finished eating before you start to enjoy it.

 

[a dinosaur]

Jack's review of the newly opened Pizza Ranch in Hendersonville:


versus Chris S's review, posted on the same day:

 

[Trappin in the Trap]

Jack's review of the newly opened Pizza Ranch in Hendersonville:
View attachment 2705947

versus Chris S's review, posted on the same day:
View attachment 2705949

Now I have to wonder if Jack associates the employees being stressed out with them being "hard working". That he somehow thinks that since the workers aren't having fun then they must be dedicated to their task.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

Jack's review of the newly opened Pizza Ranch in Hendersonville:
View attachment 2705947

versus Chris S's review, posted on the same day:
View attachment 2705949

“every flavor was rully gud" is every review he's ever given. I also love how he always compliments the businesses, "great job", "I'm really impressed with this company", as if this mushbrain's opinion means anything. He got to stuff as much greasy food down his gullet as he could for a flat price, that's all that matters.

 

[feral cat #6385]

Did you guys catch on that he said he was at Cracker Barrel earlier (I am assuming for breakfast) and then they are eating out again for lunch?

Diet? What diet? Sanford who?

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

Qali your new haircut makes you look 15 so honestly good for appealing to your would-be suitors.

Genetics is a bastard. Balding but with chubby child-cheeks is quite the soy style.

View attachment 2704978

@AnOminous it's past 8pm EST. Time for your Two Minutes' Hate!

 

[Buck Mullet]

"What's that? What's that?"

Mushbrain literally looking at a piece of fried chicken and drumsticks and having to verbally ask what the fuck he's looking at.
And it's funny how he conflates what's pretty obviously cheeseburger pizza with what looks more like beef topping, pickle and onion with being "pulled pork pizza" because of course fatty has BBQ on the brain 24/7.

 

[WhiteTrashPOS]

About the bad service at Boomer Barrel- I think Jack is probably a shit tipper and a pain in the ass, and he goes there often enough that the staff recognizes him now and are starting to cut him loose when they see him walk in the door.
I waited tables for a minute years ago and everyone would do this to discourage shitty costumers from coming in and wasting our time and and energy.
My Papaw and uncles always tip minimum 20% even though they're little old retired hill people, and they get treated like cocaine kingpins at cracker barrel and red lobster, no matter how busy they are.
It pays to pay your servers, Jack.

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

About the bad service at Boomer Barrel- I think Jack is probably a shit tipper and a pain in the ass, and he goes there often enough that the staff recognizes him now and are starting to cut him loose when they see him walk in the door.
I waited tables for a minute years ago and everyone would do this to discourage shitty costumers from coming in and wasting our time and and energy.
My Papaw and uncles always tip minimum 20% even though they're little old retired hill people, and they get treated like cocaine kingpins at cracker barrel and red lobster, no matter how busy they are.
It pays to pay your servers, Jack.

It seems like he's always miserable at Cracker Barrel but he keeps on going there.

Maybe he's just angry that they no longer segregate...urban...customers.

 

[Super Hans]

Jack's review of the newly opened Pizza Ranch in Hendersonville:
View attachment 2705947

versus Chris S's review, posted on the same day:
View attachment 2705949

Sounds about right, Jack enjoying whatever greasy slop is put in front of him but all the normal people hating Pizza Ranch.

Now I have to wonder if Jack associates the employees being stressed out with them being "hard working". That he somehow thinks that since the workers aren't having fun then they must be dedicated to their task.

Jack has this really fucked up view, taking the protestant work ethic to to the extreme when he's on the receiving end, but not having had put in a honest day's work literally his entire life.

 

[ZipDisk]

They have 78 fucking locations in Iowa.

I do wish a place near me would do a cheeseburger pizza, the closest is 40 miles away.

Never seen bacon on it before, but if anyone would add bacon to an already meat heavy pizza, the midwest would. Surprised it isn't Bacon RANCH cheeseburger pizza.

My guess about the employees at Pizza Barn is that they served Jack first, thinking he was special needs and wanting to avoid a sperg tantrum. Jack gets fed first! Jack happy! Slurpee cup of marinara!

For instance, he's damn near yelling about his coleslaw in the first BBQ Bores video, and the rest of the group makes sure it's placed right in front of him in the second episode.

 

[Sonic T]

Alien: What is this man called Jack Scalfani?
Me: He's a man who ruins food in front of a camera and thinks he's a cook. Also he eats everything in sight and thinks he's on a keto diet even though he weighs as much as a small walrus.
Alien: sounds brainless
Me: He is. That's what makes him funny.

Only a small walrus? Please, I think he has to pay property taxes on his shirts.

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

I'm being autistic as usual when I post.

This was a Jack post from 2019.

You have to love the hip hop beats while Jack is wearing one dollar shades and his usual snap back to protect his bald bowling ball head.

Jack is trying to tell his audience on who wants to try and meet up with him on his "Burger Wars tour" .

Jack, no one gives a shit or will ever give a shit.

 

[RL Steinbeck]

A new fat on the go has been posted.

At 1:43 you can see two servers hesitating to approach Jack because he’s filming.

The lack of joy in Jack’s voice right before the into is palpable. It’s like he has to constantly mentally remind himself to sound happy for the camera. He is oozing negativity every time he speaks, which makes the juxtaposition with the zany intro so jarring and comical.

 

[p1138]

At 1:43 you can see two servers hesitating to approach Jack because he’s filming.

The lack of joy in Jack’s voice right before the into is palpable. It’s like he has to constantly mentally remind himself to sound happy for the camera. He is oozing negativity every time he speaks, which makes the juxtaposition with the zany intro so jarring and comical.

Of course he's always negative, looks negative, sounds negative. It's because he hasn't gotten over the fact that... not that he had a stroke, not that he didn't do any proper therapy for his arm and hand, not that god hasn't just healed him overnight, he's constantly angry he can't shovel food into his face as efficiently anymore. He has to wait for tammy to cut his food, wait for tammy to get his food, wait for tammy to hold the camera so he can eat on camera, wait for tammy to pour his sauce, wait for tammy to help with his shitty cooking show, wait for tammy to get groceries he may not necessarily want, and so on. We've seen him grocery shopping, he can't do it himself and tammy will tell him no on things. We see him attempt to cook all the time, and it takes him longer than it used to until he could put food into his face.

And that's all in addition to being the racist shithead, ignorant buffoon, etc. that he's always been. There's nothing he could be at this point except a perpetually angry old man.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Of course he's always negative, looks negative, sounds negative. It's because he hasn't gotten over the fact that... not that he had a stroke, not that he didn't do any proper therapy for his arm and hand, not that god hasn't just healed him overnight, he's constantly angry he can't shovel food into his face as efficiently anymore. He has to wait for tammy to cut his food, wait for tammy to get his food, wait for tammy to hold the camera so he can eat on camera, wait for tammy to pour his sauce, wait for tammy to help with his shitty cooking show, wait for tammy to get groceries he may not necessarily want, and so on. We've seen him grocery shopping, he can't do it himself and tammy will tell him no on things. We see him attempt to cook all the time, and it takes him longer than it used to until he could put food into his face.

And that's all in addition to being the racist shithead, ignorant buffoon, etc. that he's always been. There's nothing he could be at this point except a perpetually angry old man.

Wait for Tammy to write his reviews...

I mean, it could happen. Jack's internet posts, be they on Facebook or YouTube comments, are usually either "mmg borger warS!" or these slightly competent (but stupid and unhelpful) reviews.

 

[rubytintedchix]

He keeps talking about how busy it is and how there’s a line out the door in the beginning too and it’s like no shit, jackass you went on opening day probably. I’m surprised he didn’t ding them for that.

I wonder how long they occupied that table. They did get several trips to the buffet in (pizza course, sah-lahd course, chicken, etc). Mommywife had to get mantoddler’s food for him because even though he’s totally not disabled and drives all the time, he can’t carry/balance a plate one handed and be expected to walk back to the table without spilling it?