Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[NoReturn]

This was immediately followed by two with Bowie in them. Poor Bowie.

Over on TikTok, she appears to be doing the "Post old shit" technique a la Glitterandlazers.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

Poor kid hanging out with a bunch of adults.

 

[Water-T]

A box of Starburst. Exactly what a True and Honest Anorexic like Tess needs!

 

[Cripple]

This was immediately followed by two with Bowie in them. Poor Bowie.
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Over on TikTok, she appears to be doing the "Post old shit" technique a la Glitterandlazers.
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She reacted like a two year old would to that mirror. "Oh it's me! Tee hee!" It's a novelty for a toddler because they're just beginning to form a sense of identity. You've had 35+ years to learn who you are.

 

[Water-T]

LOLOL. Tess is really determined to prop up the illusion that she's Living Her Best Life.

Gotta be hard to do that when she owes the IRS a fuckton of money, hasn't got any paying gigs in months, and shills for free stuff and/or exposure. Braphogging on cakes can only bring in so much money.

 

[Dean Pentel]

I can't get over her whining about the guy not texting her back.

FFS, Tess, that's part of dating and life.
You can give your number to a guy (or) girl, and you never hear from them. Get over it.

Eternal teenage girl.

Was he a regional manager for a fast food chain? Is that why she's so salty he ghosted her?

 

[Cheesegirl78]

LOLOL. Tess is really determined to prop up the illusion that she's Living Her Best Life.

Gotta be hard to do that when she owes the IRS a fuckton of money, hasn't got any paying gigs in months, and shills for free stuff and/or exposure. Braphogging on cakes can only bring in so much money.

What's this about her owing the IRS?

 

[Water-T]

What's this about her owing the IRS?

Nick had a girlfriend that he got after he and Tess split, and a while back she came over and dribbled some tea about how Tess tries to keep him on a leash despite them being half the world away, as well as disclosing that Tess owes a fuckton of unpaid taxes to Uncle Sam. While I do advise taking her word with a pile of salt, the fact that Tess has been living on the hog (pun intended) despite not having any steady non-cake related income for over 2 years would lend credence to this claim.

 

[Oscar Winner]

LOLOL. Tess is really determined to prop up the illusion that she's Living Her Best Life.

That's exactly what I was thinking. That was a “how great is my life!” montage.

In other very late news, I capped this from the comments but forgot to post:

Does that mean there will be more from that God-awful photo shoot?

 

[Umaibae]

Poor kid hanging out with a bunch of adults.

It’s very, very rare — if ever — to see Bowie interacting with children who are not Rylee. He’s constantly around Two Ton and her rotating cast of orbiters.

It’s sad, really. Remember his birthday party? It was at a park, but there wasn’t a bounce house or a performer or whatever they do for kid parties these days. No classmates. No neighbor kids. It was just Tess and a bunch of her fellow fatasses lounging around on the grass stuffing their faces.

I feel bad for the kids. They’re just collateral damage.

 

[hateful entity]

found it in the thinspo tag on twatter lmaoo

 

[LonesomeDud]

It’s very, very rare — if ever — to see Bowie interacting with children who are not Rylee. He’s constantly around Two Ton and her rotating cast of orbiters.

It’s sad, really. Remember his birthday party? It was at a park, but there wasn’t a bounce house or a performer or whatever they do for kid parties these days. No classmates. No neighbor kids. It was just Tess and a bunch of her fellow fatasses lounging around on the grass stuffing their faces.

I feel bad for the kids. They’re just collateral damage.

This is the one time I'll defend Tess: Knowing her reputation, she may have chosen not to take photos of Bowie's friends. It would be the kind choice.

 

[In Memoriam]

This is the one time I'll defend Tess: Knowing her reputation, she may have chosen not to take photos of Bowie's friends. It would be the kind choice.

Hahahahaaaaahahaha oh honey

You’re so cute, but NO. Narc mom gotta narc

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

This is the one time I'll defend Tess: Knowing her reputation, she may have chosen not to take photos of Bowie's friends. It would be the kind choice.

That has never been Tess’s MO.

Nick had a girlfriend that he got after he and Tess split, and a while back she came over and dribbled some tea about how Tess tries to keep him on a leash despite them being half the world away, as well as disclosing that Tess owes a fuckton of unpaid taxes to Uncle Sam. While I do advise taking her word with a pile of salt, the fact that Tess has been living on the hog (pun intended) despite not having any steady non-cake related income for over 2 years would lend credence to this claim.

Also that explains further why she does feeder work: she gets to have undeclared income because if she got legitimate work, the IRS would just garnish it. I’m not saying Tess tanked her career to avoid paying the feds, it’s just a way for her to ~live her best life~ without Uncle Sucker taking his cut, which I’m sure she considers to be nothing more than mentally abusive gaslighters. Ironic because she most definitely gets as many benefits as possible for her two kids.

Hahahahaaaaahahaha oh honey

You’re so cute, but NO. Narc mom gotta narc

I’m not even sure the Tubbster has it in her to care or consider anyone other than herself.

 

[Pina Colada]

This is the one time I'll defend Tess: Knowing her reputation, she may have chosen not to take photos of Bowie's friends. It would be the kind choice.

Knowing how she treats Rylee, I highly doubt it.

 

[Alpaca Autopsy Expert]

So at this point, it seems doubtful that Rylee’s ever moving back in with her. She missed all those pesky teenage boy years, huh? How convenient for her! It’s not every day you hear about a single mom who gets to outsource her teen permanently to a former boyfriend. In fact, that sounds like the beginning of a child abuse document written by protective services.

By my count Bowie has about 7 more years until mama starts making plans to ship him off too. How many other former boyfriends will step up for the job?

 

[Water-T]

This is the one time I'll defend Tess: Knowing her reputation, she may have chosen not to take photos of Bowie's friends. It would be the kind choice.

LOLOLOL. You're so precious. Do you seriously believe that Tess asks everyone in her IG photos if they're cool with being on her IG?

This is the woman who has repeatedly posted Rylee in her social media despite him telling her to please respect his boundaries and keep him out of her social media. Tess has no respect for other people's boundaries when it comes to her social media. Everyone is fair game as long as she can flex about all her and her "friends" going out and Living Her Best Life.

As for Bowie, I feel really sorry for him. Mama either leaves him to rot at home while she goes on cool, fun trips, or she drags him to boring adult functions with no kids to interact with while Mama ignores him to stuff her face, gulp down booze, and take selfies.

 

[Fìddlesticks]

So at this point, it seems doubtful that Rylee’s ever moving back in with her. She missed all those pesky teenage boy years, huh? How convenient for her! It’s not every day you hear about a single mom who gets to outsource her teen permanently to a former boyfriend. In fact, that sounds like the beginning of a child abuse document written by protective services.

By my count Bowie has about 7 more years until mama starts making plans to ship him off too. How many other former boyfriends will step up for the job?

I reckon Bowie will get shipped straight to Rylee and maybe even at Rylees request.

 

[inquizadoor]

However she’s supporting herself, a real job needs to enter the picture. Get her hairstylist or nail certification, start her own salon. She’ll never be above the fame level she’s had, so no homes in Hawaii, Milan, California, and France to fly to on her private jet, but with a more normal body she can still have goals.

.

I'm late af but I'm just now catching up on the thread and this made me think, she could actually make a decent business opening a salon for "plus size" (super obese) whales, like this chick did:


She would probably get some decent publicity doing something like this

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

Day in a life for Tess is pilates, lunch, dinner and wine? No dropping kids off to school? No boring housework?

I know the culture might be different in 'Murica regarding drinking and kids, but it really bothers me being how much she seems to drink - she IS the solo parent. A glass of wine is nothing (edit to clarify, NOT EVERY DAY!), but we KNOW she drinks more than that and will be a drunk mess. That poor kid.