Bad Weddings and Wedding Trends - sperg about weddings here

[Fialovy]

Have any of you heard of boudoir photoshoots? It is apparently a popular thing for brides to do before the wedding to give as a gift for the groom. Basically you take sexy photos in lingerie. What I understand is what is the groom supposed to use it for? Jerking off? I have also heard a lot of women in long distance relationships or military getting one for their boyfriends/husbands. I also am kind of concerned of having physical photographs around of you all risque and having someone like your kids, friends, or family members finding them.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

Have any of you heard of boudoir photoshoots? It is apparently a popular thing for brides to do before the wedding to give as a gift for the groom. Basically you take sexy photos in lingerie.

Lmao that sounds super embarrassing. Imagine your kids stumbling across a pin-up of you before you were even married. Least if they accidentally found a lewd pic of you taken by your husband you can laugh it off later, but from before getting married? And it was taken by a complete stranger? That's thottery.

Also it's pointless if the bride and groom were already sexually active beforehand anyway and it was possible the two of them might've already taken lewd photos--but ooh, this is different because it's professionally-taken. And if these pictures are already online (because how else do people know of them?), e-thot bride confirmed.

 

[Nonconsentual Pronouns]

or military

kind of concerned of having physical photographs

You probably don't know how right you were going with that direction. It's already dumb as hell to lewd oneself, but it's a whole other ballgame in the military that those morons keep finding out about the hard way and then expecting their confidants to feel sorry for them. Trading porn, adultery and bonding over immoral bro-codes are extremely popular in the military, so do the math.

Spoiler: spergout rant on lewds in the military

Suffice it to say that there is no shortage of groups of perverts in the US military who think they're part of some kind of pimp club and treat their wives like their own cam whores. I've had the same rule all my adult life that I've tried to convince other women into adopting: never fucking EVER take lewd photos under any circumstances, especially if you're in the military life. Your chances of getting handed out like candy on Halloween to literally any dude who pays, trades or even just asks shoots through the roof and into the stratosphere. As though revenge porn after a falling out wouldn't be bad enough.

I'm done being a shoulder to cry on for good little pet whores who do whatever their husbands ask only for them to get mad at me for NoT kNoWiNg WhAt It'S lIkE because I've never been retarded enough to set myself up for that to happen after I told them as nicely as I can that it was preventable and hopefully now they know to never do it again. I got shunned and mocked in their little FB groups years ago when I told them politely that it was a bad idea that they were so excited to send lewds of themselves to their husbands, boyfriends and fiances while waiting to be reunited after BMT and/or tech school. Some of the bimbos sent physical copies in their letters to their men while they were in BMT. Fun fact: all letters in BMT are opened, gone through and read by instructors before making it to the trainees, and contraband like lewds are confiscated. Yes, more than one of them sent copies of their boudoir pics. A non-zero number of them went and had boudoir pics done for the sole purpose of sending them in their BMT letters. Imagine being that one dumb whore who thinks it's okay for the TIs to see her lewds and thinks her man still gets them after being told that all of the mail is screened. I don't miss FB, military wives' groups or the retarded THOTs they contain.

Even if their husbands didn't share their lewds on purpose, are the morons who produce physical lewds seriously fucking stupid enough to think that leadership, security, tech school dorm roommates, etc won't look through all of his shit just because he says "whoa hey boys, don't touch that one, it's super private"? If a service man is separated from his wife, odds are high that he's in a position to have all of his shit gone through at least twice before he's reunited with her. Boudoir albums are a hot commodity and a favorite because it's straight up professionally produced softcore pornography. Add on that military wives are a wank fetish within the military and outside of it. ("hnnnnng, she's sooo lonely.... ooohhhh, she's so horny with all those young, fit tags in uniform all around her every day...." It's fucking gross.)

Here's yet another reminder to whoever it may concern that Jody is a fellow tag more often than not and that lewding yourself is playing stupid games for stupid prizes.

 

[Gaz Norfman]

Have any of you heard of boudoir photoshoots? It is apparently a popular thing for brides to do before the wedding to give as a gift for the groom. Basically you take sexy photos in lingerie. What I understand is what is the groom supposed to use it for? Jerking off? I have also heard a lot of women in long distance relationships or military getting one for their boyfriends/husbands. I also am kind of concerned of having physical photographs around of you all risque and having someone like your kids, friends, or family members finding them.

Yeah, I don’t love that. A lot of boudoir shoots seem to be more “sexy” than straight up pornographic, which is fine if that’s what you’re into. But I have known of quite a few creepy boudoir “photographers” who definitely just want to creep on women.
I’m not a fan of any wedding related activity that is too horny, like when people do a garter toss and make a big spectacle of getting under the bride’s dress. I cannot imagine doing that in front of my family.

 

[Fialovy]

I found another gem from Weddingbee. Probably one of the worst hosts ever. Everything about this party screams "no fun allowed" the fact she is really controlling , whaving to put chit chat in the schedule (shouldn't you be doing that all the time?), and the fact she is vegan (which is a red flag in of itself), everything about this party just sounds like it is going to be a trainwreck.

 

[PuffyGroundCloud]

She sounds like when Spongebob tried to throw a party

 

[Gaz Norfman]

I found another gem from Weddingbee. Probably one of the worst hosts ever. Everything about this party screams "no fun allowed" the fact she is really controlling , whaving to put chit chat in the schedule (shouldn't you be doing that all the time?), and the fact she is vegan (which is a red flag in of itself), everything about this party just sounds like it is going to be a trainwreck.

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I’m starting to suspect she may be vegan.
I love how she just shoots down restaurants that her family (including the 89 year old guest of honor) likes, but doesn’t seem to offer up any suggestions of her own. So helpful! Her party schedule also gives off a “mandatory fun” vibe.

 

[Fialovy]

Bad news is I am kind of sad that Tyson deleted this thread about a bride asking for opinions on her dresses she likes and all of them had her boobs spilling out and when people pointed it out, she cried that they were body shaming her even though she literally looked like she was going to slip a nipple if she moved the wrong way. I am sad.

Good news is I found another good one I remember from my time lurking about some incel who liked a girl and was thinking about trying to crash her wedding because he hated the guy for taking her away. She then agreed to meet him at Starbucks as his attempt to try to win her back and he gets really giddy because they held hands and she showed basic politeness to him. In a deleted thread a several months later, he gets a restraining order and he wonders how it can be possible to contact her one more time "for closure"

 

[Snusmumriken]

She sounds like when Spongebob tried to throw a party

Laughter isn’t on the schedule until 9:03!

I’d be shocked if anyone showed up to a party where one of the main events was chit chat. With assigned conversation topics, granted. It really is like Spongebob’s house party.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

Bad news is I am kind of sad that Tyson deleted this thread about a bride asking for opinions on her dresses she likes and all of them had her boobs spilling out and when people pointed it out, she cried that they were body shaming her even though she literally looked like she was going to slip a nipple if she moved the wrong way. I am sad.

Good news is I found another good one I remember from my time lurking about some incel who liked a girl and was thinking about trying to crash her wedding because he hated the guy for taking her away. She then agreed to meet him at Starbucks as his attempt to try to win her back and he gets really giddy because they held hands and she showed basic politeness to him. In a deleted thread a several months later, he gets a restraining order and he wonders how it can be possible to contact her one more time "for closure"
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Moments like this are where I think a "wheeze" or "delusional" rating is most appropriate. This is both horrifying and hilarious. "I know it's movie-like, but" lmao stop watching romcoms, dude.

EDIT: Re boudoir photoshoots but holy shit I can't breathe.

 

[PuffyGroundCloud]

12 Posing Secret for Plus Size Boudoir Photography

Pose 2: The Pretzel

I dont think it's a pose, more like a snack

 

[Kari Kamiya]

I went through the links and it gets funnier and funnier. I had to stop at this bitch, I just couldn't anymore least I pass out because of her face.

"I couldn't believe the woman in the photographs was actually me..." - Blush Boudoir Photography

blushboudoir.com

And some of these women are married, but I must reiterate my previous remarks on this that if they're available to the public instead of being private photos between you and your husband, you're a thot.

 

[Fialovy]

I looked it up on Weddingbee and apparently there was this one fat chick that posted her boudoir photos on the boards. Why would she do that? Doesn't she realize that people on the internet can see that shit?

Her experience:

The photos:

 

[Blasterisk]

I looked it up on Weddingbee and apparently there was this one fat chick that posted her boudoir photos on the boards. Why would she do that? Doesn't she realize that people on the internet can see that shit?

Her experience:
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The photos:

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hubby got a good deal

800 pounds of wife for the cost of 125

 

[Gaz Norfman]

I looked it up on Weddingbee and apparently there was this one fat chick that posted her boudoir photos on the boards. Why would she do that? Doesn't she realize that people on the internet can see that shit?

Her experience:
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The photos:

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I don’t know what she paid for these, but it was too much. At least the pictures from the previous post look kinda artsy and mysterious.

 

[EnemyStand]

Oh boy, let's unpack this, shall we?

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You'll get tossed out either by a cop or the men at the ceremony. Objections aren't taken seriously anymore. I touched on this in the above post where I talked about where groomsmen came from, but objections were literally put in there for matters of nobility. For all the pomp and circumstance behind it, objections were historically childish as all hell. "I loved her first", "She promised me her heart first when we were kids", "Her dad made an arrangement with my dad 17 years ago and he's breaking his word", "We already fucked so your marriage is a sham", and "Fuck you, you're not good enough for my niece/sister (actual incest optional)" were the most common objections, and since it was the days where saying you'd defend m'lady's honor wouldn't get you laughed at, hopefully your best man was picked for his skills.

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You weren't going to post it here? Oh horseshit. I know you faggots. You thought it would be like in some schlocky Adam Sandler flick where everyone claps for the protagonist when the plucky incel saves the girl of his dreams from her evil fiance. But here's the thing, you aren't in a movie (and the GTB is probably a decent enough guy) and even if you were you'd be the comic relief clapping at the end of the movie who hooks up with the fat chick/even hotter rando depending on the movie (spoiler alert: hotter rando isn't on the table). I'd agree it's ridiculous, but not for the reasons you're imagining.

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This "only woman I will ever love" bit is stupid as fuck. If you truly loved her you'd have taken your shot already, but since you waited until she was getting married to take it proves you were never serious about this woman. Move the fuck on and get yourself another girl or get used to masturbation.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! There isn't a chance of failure, it's a fucking guarantee!

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You had a shot, didn't take it, and now she's marrying some dude who did. Also, highly doubt she had a crush on you and you're interpreting her words wrong because you're retarded as hell.

 

[Fialovy]

Remember when I told you about how I remember reading on The Knot about this girl at 14 got groomed into a cult by this 17 year old dude and the way she talks about how her relationship is not creepy or it is bad getting married young because God never changes and is beyond culture or something and how she is going to move to Texas with her in-laws and be some tradwife while her husband does ministry. She also talks about how they never kissed until they got engaged and stuff like that. I managed to find it.

I do feel bad for this girl because she clearly doesn't know she is being groomed, I wonder what happened to her. I hope she came to her senses. Luckily, her parents didn't approve of this it looks like. It's kind of sad reading.

 

[EnemyStand]

Remember when I told you about how I remember reading on The Knot about this girl at 14 got groomed into a cult by this 17 year old dude and the way she talks about how her relationship is not creepy or it is bad getting married young because God never changes and is beyond culture or something and how she is going to move to Texas with her in-laws and be some tradwife while her husband does ministry. She also talks about how they never kissed until they got engaged and stuff like that. I managed to find it.

I do feel bad for this girl because she clearly doesn't know she is being groomed, I wonder what happened to her. I hope she came to her senses. Luckily, her parents didn't approve of this it looks like. It's kind of sad reading.

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Oh boy, some sort of Calvinist psychos who screech that everything is preordained and shit. I could go on, but I don't want to derail the thread.

 

[Free the Pedos]

Objections aren't taken seriously anymore. I touched on this in the above post where I talked about where groomsmen came from, but objections were literally put in there for matters of nobility. For all the pomp and circumstance behind it, objections were historically childish as all hell. "I loved her first", "She promised me her heart first when we were kids", "Her dad made an arrangement with my dad 17 years ago and he's breaking his word", "We already fucked so your marriage is a sham", and "Fuck you, you're not good enough for my niece/sister (actual incest optional)" were the most common objections, and since it was the days where saying you'd defend m'lady's honor wouldn't get you laughed at, hopefully your best man was picked for his skills.

Objections were a thing before electronic or even postal communications were popular, because someone might recognize that one of the couple at the altar is actually the guy from the next village over who ran out on his wife five years ago.

 

[Fialovy]

What are you guy's opinion on remembrance tables? Basically tables set up to remember deceased love ones who passed away. I don't like it because I mean, those people had their funerals to remember them by and I mean, weddings are supposed to be a joyous event, a reminder that love ones are dead, especially if they recently died unexpectedly, really kills the mood



Enough with the signs that rhyme!