🐱 I’ve banned my uncle from my wedding to protect my trans maid of honour – but my dad thinks I’m being unreasonable

CatParty


IT'S supposed to be the happiest day of your life - but let's be honest, wedding planning can be downright stressful.

Take your guest-list for instance - once you've narrowed it down to your real nearest and dearest, you then have to bear in mind any lingering tensions between loved ones.

So when this bride-to-be asked her trans best friend to be her maid-of-honour, she knew there and then that she probably wouldn't invite her uncle as a result.

Sharing her dilemma on Reddit, the woman explained how they've been close friends since they were kids and how important it is that they feel comfortable on the day.

She explained: "My dad's older brother is very bigoted and quite frankly, hateful.

"He especially has an aversion to trans people and says the most horrible things about them. His wife is no different."



After a lot of careful thought, the bride has banned her uncle and aunt from the wedding to "avoid drama" - which hasn't gone down well with the family.

She added: "Their kids, my cousins told them that if their parents can't come, then they won't either.

"I told them to get lost and that my wedding would be better off without them."

Although the bride has her mum's full support, her dad has accused her of being "unreasonable".

She added: "He keeps promising me that his brother 'wont do anything' and will just 'sit quietly', but I refuse to budge.

"I just don't trust my uncle to act like an adult, because of his past behaviour. My mum told me that my aunt (said uncle's wife) has been crying. One of her favourite manipulation tactics."

My dad's older brother is very bigoted and quite frankly, hateful. He especially has an aversion to trans people and says the most horrible things about them. His wife is no different
Bride-to-be
Turning to the forum for guidance, the bride asked if she was being "callous" or was in the right for wanting to protect her best friend.

Reassuring the bride that she was doing the right thing, one member replied: "Toxic people are toxic, and they tend to find ANY opportunity to be toxic. Your dad can't pretend he can control that. No room for hate.

"Let them cry their bitter tears...you want your wedding to have happy tears and be a joyous occasion, not a hatefest where someone has to play referee, especially if alcohol will be involved, which would make a blow up inevitable."

Another added: "It's your wedding, invite whoever you want.

"You might hurt people's feelings but you're just creating an environment where those closest to you will feel safe."

"Even if they manage to behave themselves on your big day, you'll be on pins and needles in case something happens," a third wrote. "You don't need that added stress."
 
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ironically the OP of the AITA post got banned from reddit


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Banning like that won't avoid drama, that will just create it. While there are plenty of unreasonable people, most are happy enough to put the comfort of the happy couple over personal dislikes for a day. Assuming that this won't happen, she put so many people in awkward situation where they had choose sides that it's not even funny. If she truly wanted to avoid drama, she would have given the uncle a heads up about the tranny, maybe trough a tactical third party like her dad, and whatever is acceptable behavior during the wedding. Also giving a quilt free permission not to attend if they find what she is asking too much could have also helped to smooth the situation before anything happens. But no semi public humiliation with no chance of redemption is definitely the better option.

Do you want wanting avoid drama actually looks like? When my aunt got married she invited my grandmother who she isn't related to by blood because grandma had miss understandood that she was invited from the wedding planing talk. I found out this few weeks before wedding because she asked me to take her to shopping so she had something nice to wear. She was so happy to have a wedding to attend when her grandkids hadn't gotten married yet (hint, hint). She had also made a handmade rug as a wedding gift, witch I knew about but as this is something she would do just for fun I hadn't thought about it much. I called my aunt about it in slight panic, I was helping with wedding arrangements so I knew the guest list, and my aunt was bit taken back but she didn't mind that much about one extra guest even if wedding was fairly full. She wouldn't have done this to a friend but she didn't want to cause hurt feelings for my family to deal with. Plus my grandmother had always hosted her too when she had spent holidays and vacations with my family when we were growing up so it's not like she was complete stranger anyway.
 
1. Uncle should not even want to go and is a cuck at this point if he even considers it if she WOULD unban him.

2. Dad is a cuck for not standing up for his brother more firmly. I get it "kids" and all that bullshit, but having kids doesn't mean you forego all other loyalties, and the daughter is being a cunt.

3. The mom probably enables this and helped create the narcissistic monstrosity

4. The troon will never be a woman and is probably ugly as shit

5. There is a higher than 0% chance none of this is real and some faggot just posted an everybody clapped story to reddit for asspats

Oh, and I hate every fucking person involved in this story. I think that about covers it for my summary.
 
Not a single one of the reddit comments said that OP was the asshole.

All you had to do was ask your dad to have a word with his brother about the situation and send the invites. If the uncle is mad about it he'll just not come.
 
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