What's the worst job interview you ever had? - Why do you want to work for us?

[MysticLord]

Tell us all your worst job interview, where you were the one looking for a job.

My worst was applying as a dishwasher at a soup place in Northern California. I put in my resume (to the degree that I had one at 20, while in school) and sat down with the lady who ran the place. The first word thing out of her mouth was, "That's it? That's your experience?" with a nasty look on her face, and following that I was grilled as if I'd asked her to fondle my balls with her nose. Just absolute disgust that I would dare to touch her dirty dishes for $9 an hour.

Needless to say I didn't get the job - I cruised by later to piss all over the men's bathroom and she had hired a Central American, probably an illegal.

If I'm ever in that area again and her restaurant isn't ruined by California's lockdowns I'll stop by later to release some cockroaches and post pictures on social media.

 

[Rapechu]

Employers see my credentials and are always excited to talk to me at first. Then they start asking me questions about sportsball and I can feel the enthusiasm drain from them as they realize I'm not a buddy they can pal around with at the water cooler.

 

[RainwaterDrop]

This was right before the coof, I was in the middle of switching jobs and I got a call from one of the thousands of places I applied to when I finally had enough of the retards in the company I had just quit, scheduling an interview for the next week. Fine, I dress up and drive all the way there, around half an hour, no problem. Until I get to the fucking place and they are fucking surprised to see me there?! I greet the receptionist, she guides me to the room while clearly showing she didn't know what to do in the current situation. About half an hour passes and I finally get a knock on the door, I get my handshake muscles primed, smile ready - and it's the fucking receptionist again, with a glass of water and some snacks, telling me my interviewer was on the way, please be patient, all that horseshit lol!

Radio silence for another hour until someone arrives - I googled the guy's name later on and he was a fucking intern! - my interviewer was more nervous than I could possibly be, sweating bullets and pointing at random shit on my resume for talking points (I honestly stopped caring at that point) until I started shooting the breeze and talking about unrelated shit with him until he got a call and tossed me a paper sheet with my "test", and guess what, it was for another fucking position, entirely!

I wrote the most possibly generic horseshit about the position I was "interviewed" for, left the place and got me a Big Mac Combo and some nachos and fries from Taco Bell to eat on the way back (hadn't eaten before and it was honestly the high point of that day), which was a brilliant idea as I had just a light lunch before and got into a gridlock, courtesy of Retards Incorporated deciding to waste my time lol!

 

[Some Badger]

It was during my sophomore year of college and I was looking for an internship. I had an interview with this production company and I was super excited cause I was 19, I just moved to the area and didn’t know any better, and because I didn’t know any better, I didn’t anticipate getting lost trying to find the entrance to the office (Google Maps gave me a photo of the back of the building and I took it as gospel).

I was interviewed by the owner, who fancied himself as a film director even though I can’t find his work or an IMDB page anywhere (It isn’t important).

This dude made me feel like shit. Because I was 5 minutes late, he actively went out of his way to make me feel worthless, calling me unreliable, untrustworthy, and not deserving of this internship, and every time I tried to explain what happened he would just raise his voice and cut me off. I was holding back tears because he wouldn’t stop grilling me and insulting my appearance, and eventually I got mad and lost my temper at times. Somehow, I remember the interview ending on civil terms, but 5 minutes later I was crying again in an empty subway station thinking I was worthless.

I think the worst part was when he asked me to open up about my upbringing and he brushed off my abandonment issues because I guess leaving communist China to go to film school in the US is objectively more traumatizing.

He very patronizingly told me he would give me a chance to “redeem” myself and apologize to him for being late and wasting his time via email. I gave it some thought for a couple days and then promptly told him to fuck off. I never did read his response to that.

I found out a couple years later that this “production company” was basically a scam studio with zero credentials where the owner personally taught workshops to unassuming wannabe filmmakers for like $500 a session for stuff you could look up on YouTube. It was also staffed entirely by unpaid interns who, according to reviews on Glassdoor, spent most of their time advertising the owner’s real estate properties on Craigslist and managing his social media.



TL;DR A hack Chinese director who sniffs his own farts made me question my inherent value as a person, only for me to find out the job was definitely not worth it and I dodged a fucking nuke.

 

[MysticLord]

@Some Badger in my experience that is typical Chinese interviewing method to a degree, but it's also a test. He's weeding out people with spines.

 

[Some Badger]

@Some Badger in my experience that is typical Chinese interviewing method to a degree, but it's also a test. He's weeding out people with spines.

Of the four reviews I could find that weren’t 5-star reviews that the owner likely paid for since they all say the same thing, three of them point out that he has a temper and becomes exceedingly upset when an intern is late, despite often being late himself.

I don’t disbelieve you, I just think this guy is a massive irresponsible hypocrite more than anything.

 

[MysticLord]

Of the four reviews I could find that weren’t 5-star reviews that the owner likely paid for since they all say the same thing, three of them point out that he has a temper and becomes exceedingly upset when an intern is late, despite often being late himself.

I don’t disbelieve you, I just think this guy is a massive irresponsible hypocrite more than anything.

On a long enough time frame, everyone takes up an occupation that suits their nature. For an abusive scammer, his vocation is perfect.

 

[cowboytakeshi]

It's more the circumstances than the interview itself. I had been told by the director of a department I had credentials in that they're opening a job position/promotion for me due to my performance. It's the perfect position with no dealing with people and my autism is peaked. They train me some more, tell me I'm a great fit, I've been performing well for the time I've been here, and the interview is for HR purposes only. I'm stoked. Day of interview, the director tells me saying some lady who has numerous HR issues (namely being a bitch and not maintaining legal compliance) and has been on leave for 6 months applied for the position. I ask if the interview is even worth it and director says it will be held fairly. I do the interview and am then told at the end of the interview that I'm not being hired because she's more fitting for their diversity quotas and has been here longer (by a matter of months) but they think I'll be a great fit working under this new lady who is a total cunt. I tried to take it in stride but to be honest I got drunk then applied to new jobs. If anything moving on from the sad/disappointing stage of job let downs to the angry and motivated part is important. It sucked but I'm glad it motivated me to get out of a somewhat comfortable job.

 

[TheTrumanShow]

Some guy wanting me to do roots as some fucking out of the blue intelligence test when I hadn't done it in ages.

 

[DiscoRodeo]

This is partially my own fuckup.

Had a job interview when I was much younger for a position in a grocery store. This wasn't my first job, and I was searching for a new one due to my current job having expectations where we would work off the clock if things continued to be busy (and I'm not talking an extra 10 minutes or cleaning up after work, we could still be on the floor for up to an hour after we were supposed to go home, still doing the jobs primary duties, and this wasn't an occasional thing- it was almost every other day).

In the interview, one of the questions was "Why are you leaving your current position at X, Disco"?

With me giving a more sanitized version of my current problem of working later than scheduled almost every day and the typical "I'd like to venture out to find a job position that's a bit closer to my home, this location is perfect, bla bla bla".

Wound up getting a lecture about "Employees need to work extra hours if need be, if I needed you to work extra, I expect youll be here, you don't know how difficult it is sometimes for businesses". An actual lecture.

Bruh, I understand, I don't have a problem with working a little extra on occasion. If it becomes a thing where I'm staying for almost an extra hour every other day, thats not the problem, the problem is horrible scheduling, no overtime pay, and that its a lot more difficult for me to plan things around work, especially with ending on different hours daily. As it is, I'm scheduling everything an hour+ later than I normally would. Why do you think I'm looking for a better job?

Edit: Will preface this by highlighting that I was working in the butcher shop of this grocery store, and around the time that I was supposed to leave, there was typically a rush of customers and "I need you here, you can't leave yet". I've had management jobs later on, and I'd chalk the problem here up to bad scheduling and, if you have reason to expect a rush at a certain time and schedule an employee to leave right at the start of when the rush usually occurs, but when the rush starts expect them to stick it out, and this happens on the regular, I do think that you are taking advantage of them.

If I'm supposed to be working till 5:00, and you know there is a 5:00 rush and I have to stay up to an extra hour to help out on the regular, let me start an hour later and work till 6:00 or let me leave at 5:00. One, or the other, you literally don't pay me to do this on the regular.

 

[Lemmingwise]

Employers see my credentials and are always excited to talk to me at first. Then they start asking me questions about sportsball and I can feel the enthusiasm drain from them as they realize I'm not a buddy they can pal around with at the water cooler.

When I still did job interviews I was pretty much opposite of this. I barely get invited. When they do get in the door I can tell they think it's going to be a short interview, because I don't make much of an effort on dressing for the interview either. I've never been refused a job once I was interviewed and have often heard for long how surprised everyone is that I got hired, including the person that hired me.

I don't know exactly what I do in these interviews, but I do make an effort to interview well.

Let me think about what I do....

First I have a number of questions. I tell them I'm interested / excited about the job but that some things are unclear. But what really is unclear is what problem the person(s) sitting in front of me are trying to solve. I try to figure out each person's problem that they're solving. Whether they're looking for someone capable, someone motivated, or just someone who isn't a threat to them. When I have a hunch for these answers, I am able to tell them anything about me.

Like if they're looking for someone who isn't a threat, I'm a team player and easy-going and that's why I want this job. If they're looking for a go-getter, I see the beautiful opportunities of this stupid job, and inquire about whether they've got in-house learning or books about their products I can take home to learn all the details, or if I'm relegated to self-study instead. I'll find a way to talk about whatever retarded thing they like and connect it to myself so I feel like a friend.

I also reverse the tables here and there and ask them for reasons they think I would be a bad fit for the job and either give some bullshitting to take them away, or more typically, because they can't think of anything in the moment because good job interviewers are rare, highlight the fact. "It's nice to know you have no good reasons not to hire me", but make it kinda jokey instead of conceited so they don't feel manipulated, which of course, they are.

Finally I give them the push / pull. I tell them my long-term goals (maybe truthfully), and how this job would help me fulfill them, but also name some of the other paths how I could fulfill them. I'll ask some questions and name some (not too heavy) doubts to make sure it's also them trying to sell the job to me. I don't know if that actually helps me get the job more, it's just what I need to get motivated and even show up after I'm hired.

But my instincts tells me they're more likely to go for me, because I make them work for it a little, which increases my perceived value, I think.

----

My worst job interview? I think one of the first ones. It was a place where I really wanted to work badly, a creative function. I got quite some heavy criticism about the things I brought to the table. About how much I still had to learn. I was so bummed. One of the other employees walked in and just kind of listened, adding to my embarrassment. Afterwards I realized I was gonna go home and just wait for the rejection call. They left the room and I was left with the employee. I felt so bummed. Then she said: "so you're the guy who's joining our team?"

I was so nervous, I hadn't even noticed getting hired.

 

[TheTrumanShow]

When I still did job interviews I was pretty much opposite of this. I barely get invited. When they do get in the door I can tell they think it's going to be a short interview, because I don't make much of an effort on dressing for the interview either. I've never been refused a job once I was interviewed and have often heard for long how surprised everyone is that I got hired, including the person that hired me.

I don't know exactly what I do in these interviews, but I do make an effort to interview well.

Let me think about what I do....

First I have a number of questions. I tell them I'm interested / excited about the job but that some things are unclear. But what really is unclear is what problem the person(s) sitting in front of me are trying to solve. I try to figure out each person's problem that they're solving. Whether they're looking for someone capable, someone motivated, or just someone who isn't a threat to them. When I have a hunch for these answers, I am able to tell them anything about me.

Like if they're looking for someone who isn't a threat, I'm a team player and easy-going and that's why I want this job. If they're looking for a go-getter, I see the beautiful opportunities of this stupid job, and inquire about whether they've got in-house learning or books about their products I can take home to learn all the details, or if I'm relegated to self-study instead. I'll find a way to talk about whatever retarded thing they like and connect it to myself so I feel like a friend.

I also reverse the tables here and there and ask them for reasons they think I would be a bad fit for the job and either give some bullshitting to take them away, or more typically, because they can't think of anything in the moment because good job interviewers are rare, highlight the fact. "It's nice to know you have no good reasons not to hire me", but make it kinda jokey instead of conceited so they don't feel manipulated, which of course, they are.

Finally I give them the push / pull. I tell them my long-term goals (maybe truthfully), and how this job would help me fulfill them, but also name some of the other paths how I could fulfill them. I'll ask some questions and name some (not too heavy) doubts to make sure it's also them trying to sell the job to me. I don't know if that actually helps me get the job more, it's just what I need to get motivated and even show up after I'm hired.

But my instincts tells me they're more likely to go for me, because I make them work for it a little, which increases my perceived value, I think.

You're kinda like a sociopath, except you may not actually have any malicious thoughts and just see this as a bullshit game you have to play to then do a decent job or what ever.

I do this kind of thing but not very consciously. I don't like manipulating people but at the same time people are very "people centric" (sadly) so I feel like I have to play "their little games. " It kinda comes naturally to me. I just keep ignoring my own advice sometimes because it feels so fake.

Like I don't really care about them* but I know that they care about me and who I am. I just want an interesting job where I do interesting things for an OK pay with some degrees of freedom.


*not really true but that would be tl dr.


________________


If I may ask you something, what if you fake it til you make it. Let's say the position, pay, tasks, responsibilities etc all are peak stuff, right. But you've kinda brown-nosed your way there by implying you're all sort of things that you aren't. Or more importantly that you are the kind of personality that person is looking for not only as a co-worker but a colleague and possible AF-homie.

How do you deal with that then later over the many months or maybe years to come?

That is if the person that's interviewing you is a potential boss/co-worker not some HR nobody you'll barely ever see again.

 

[glass_houses]

When I finished TAFE, there was no jobs in my state, so I really had no option but to move to another state and try there. I was applying for pretty much anything I could, but I had no work history because I'd stuck to being a parasite off my parents while I studied, and I knew I had certain... functional limitations... that were a few years away from being properly diagnosed.

Not long after I arrived in the new city I went for an entry-level receptionist/office drone job in the CBD. One of my limitations is that my spatial sense is badly impaired, and this being before the age of GPS, Google Maps, and smart phones, I managed to get so disorientated that I went in the opposite direction on the street to where the office actually was. The CBD in my city doesn't believe in street numbers, so it took me a few blocks to get myself turned back around again. Then when I managed to get close to the office, I went back and forth and front of it a few times because it was a small door discretely tucked in between two large store fronts. It was also December so it was humid and blisteringly hot. When I finally staggered into the office my makeup was sliding down my face, I was sweating like a pig, my hair was coming loose, I was ten minutes late and in general, I was a fucking mess. That's when I discovered that the office I was interviewing for, whose advertisement in the paper had basically read, "Office slave wanted in city, send resume here" was for a fucking modelling agency. So here I was, a sweaty wreck, 5'2, size medium, in the cheapest slacks that Target stocked, and there were my interviewers: three 6'0, size small, utterly immaculate, magazine photo ready female models, each wearing an outfit that cost more than my entire wardrobe combined.

I grovelled appropriately and begged forgiveness for being late. The three women collectively glared at me and one said witheringly, "That's okay, that's okay, you've only wasted our time."

It all went downhill from there.

I continued to grovel and generally did my best, but I was flustered by my arrival, my interviewers' extraordinary appearances, and the fact that they were massive fucking bitches to me throughout the whole interview. As a final fuck you cherry on top, I'd forgotten to turn off my mobile, and naturally, it rang halfway through.

I didn't get the job. Desperation aside, I was rather glad of it because I suspect that anyone working there would be expected to diet permanently and keep a wardrobe that they couldn't afford.

 

[Lemmingwise]

You're kinda like a sociopath, except you may not actually have any malicious thoughts and just see this as a bullshit game you have to play to then do a decent job or what ever.

I do this kind of thing but not very consciously. I don't like manipulating people but at the same time people are very "people centric" (sadly) so I feel like I have to play "their little games. "

Like I don't really care about them but I know that they care about me and who I am. I just want an interesting job where I do interesting things for an OK pay with some degrees of freedom.

Yeah, at its core I'm not really manipulative I think. There are limits to how far I will go. I don't lie directly, but I may re-order information in a way it sounds better.

It's just, they're there to sell the job, I'm there to sell myself and we're both looking for a deal that works out for us. I'm competing with the other applicants, they're competing with the other job offers and even just sitting at home and freelancing.

I'm very people centric though when I'm offline, so I appreciate those things more than you, maybe. You got a good taste for job types, though.

Then when I managed to get close to the office, I went back and forth and front of it a few times because it was a small door discretely tucked in between two large store fronts.

I grovelled appropriately and begged forgiveness for being late. The three women collectively glared at me and one said witheringly, "That's okay, that's okay, you've only wasted our time."

It all went downhill from there.

I continued to grovel and generally did my best, but I was flustered by my arrival, my interviewers' extraordinary appearances, and the fact that they were massive fucking bitches to me throughout the whole interview. As a final fuck you cherry on top, I'd forgotten to turn off my mobile, and naturally, it rang halfway through.

I didn't get the job. Desperation aside, I was rather glad of it because I suspect that anyone working there would be expected to diet permanently and keep a wardrobe that they couldn't afford.

Grovelled appropriately? I don't think grovelling is ever appropriate. I'd laugh about it and lean into it. "Don't worry, I'll probably only be a late half of the days I'm working for you!"
And then get more serious and assure them that I don't actually come late when I know where a building is, but that they really have a tiny entrance and are hard to find.

Not that you wanted that job, but never be afraid of reminding a company that they're not fucking Disney.

Pretty easy for me to say. I once was late for job by exactly a week, because I read the interview date wrong, lmao.

 

[CAPTAIN HAPPY]

Was once recruited by a big food company to work as a technician in one of their factories.
Literally wanted me specifically for my education and background.
Workplace is pretty far from me, but they promised me they can cover the travel shit.
I go to the interview at the arranged time, come in early because I'm a good goy and I sit there until it's an hour late.
Some dude comes in, has a whispery talk with one of the secretaries.
I can hear everything the retards are saying, they're talking about my job.
The dude sits down, we sit for like 3 hours more, get kinda pissed I might miss my buss and nobody says shit to us.
Eventually a worker shows up and takes us on a tour around the place.
Along the tour I'm basically ignored even though I'm clearly fucking qualified to run the machines and shit.
The other dude barely speacks mechanic, but he's the hot shot i the eyes of the boss lady.
Along the way I also learn there's no such thing as covering travel expenses for distant workers.
We go back to the spot, the same secretary bitch comes in and says me and the dude will go in separately for talks.
I had come in first, I get up and get ready to go, the secretary bitch stops me and asks her friend to come in first.
I didn't even have the time to ask what the fuck as the dude dashed in from behind me.
I wait another 20 minutes like a fucking retard, the dude dashed out.
O get up and that fucking bitch then tells me sorry we don;t have any more openings left.
I was by a hair's width from snapping her neck, I didn't say shit, but like a good goy I got up and left.
The hilarious part was that before I was picked for the interview, I was told there were multiple job offerings and shit. I assumed they made us sit for 3 hours so that I would get pissed and leave. Jokes on them, I have autistic patience.

 

[Finder]

Contract job with an Canadian company, the three guys interviewing me clearly didn't know why they were even there. It's like they had two minutes notice.

They had no questions, were completely uninterested, and I had to try to run my own interview. It was a shit show, no one enjoyed it.

I mean what do you even do in that situation? You and three others on a call, they don't ask anything beyond your name and they don't know what job you're interviewing for.

I was later told it was a good reflection of how the company was internally.

 

[TheTrumanShow]

Yeah, at its core I'm not really manipulative I think. There are limits to how far I will go. I don't lie directly, but I may re-order information in a way it sounds better.

It's just, they're there to sell the job, I'm there to sell myself and we're both looking for a deal that works out for us. I'm competing with the other applicants, they're competing with the other job offers and even just sitting at home and freelancing.

I'm very people centric though when I'm offline, so I appreciate those things more than you, maybe. You got a good taste for job types, though.

Added a question btw, to my original post!

I just don't feel that this "buddy buddy" thing in a work place is really appropriate or really, well, real. Like the corporate song you're forced to sign in Japan or the expectations to go to most AF's with your co-workers. It's IMO a way to "lock you in" with the company.

In my field a lot of companies try to attract young people with promises of "openness and inclusivity" , "fun, high energy, team building". They have pictures of them going to like parties together or doing adventures together in their adverts. "Flat organizations" , "no hierarchy" are common buzzwords.

I can just see myself working for facebook or google and criticizing let's say the "dislike removal" button or various algorithmic shenanigans and seeing my career slowly go to shreds because the more I'd push for ideas that go against the corporate narrative the more that fluffy exterior would change and the less smiling faces I'd see and the more corporate lawyers and HR-people I'd have to deal with for being "un-cooperative" or "not falling into corporate culture".

It's openness and inclusivity UNTIL you start moving against the grain.
Which is why I prefer more simple directives/values like "efficiency, loyalty, brand awareness", or even "explorative, innovative" etc. I don't have to pretend and neither do "you". We do what benefits the corporations/organization. That's why we're there.


More and more people I speak to tend to actually think that "corporate values" are real. But I've been arguing that they are just adaptions reflective of what society, regulators, consumers etc want. Unless the company isn't public, those "values" are going to change, and if you don't change with them you're out as easily as you came in.

 

[Varg Did Nothing Wrong]

Was once recruited by a big food company to work as a technician in one of their factories.
Literally wanted me specifically for my education and background.
Workplace is pretty far from me, but they promised me they can cover the travel shit.
I go to the interview at the arranged time, come in early because I'm a good goy and I sit there until it's an hour late.
Some dude comes in, has a whispery talk with one of the secretaries.
I can hear everything the retards are saying, they're talking about my job.
The dude sits down, we sit for like 3 hours more, get kinda pissed I might miss my buss and nobody says shit to us.
Eventually a worker shows up and takes us on a tour around the place.
Along the tour I'm basically ignored even though I'm clearly fucking qualified to run the machines and shit.
The other dude barely speacks mechanic, but he's the hot shot i the eyes of the boss lady.
Along the way I also learn there's no such thing as covering travel expenses for distant workers.
We go back to the spot, the same secretary bitch comes in and says me and the dude will go in separately for talks.
I had come in first, I get up and get ready to go, the secretary bitch stops me and asks her friend to come in first.
I didn't even have the time to ask what the fuck as the dude dashed in from behind me.
I wait another 20 minutes like a fucking retard, the dude dashed out.
O get up and that fucking bitch then tells me sorry we don;t have any more openings left.
I was by a hair's width from snapping her neck, I didn't say shit, but like a good goy I got up and left.
The hilarious part was that before I was picked for the interview, I was told there were multiple job offerings and shit. I assumed they made us sit for 3 hours so that I would get pissed and leave. Jokes on them, I have autistic patience.

Tell me you're German without telling me you're German

 

[Black Light Red Panic]

The "Mr. strawberry" rape scare about 2 years ago

 

[Iron Jaguar]

Employers see my credentials and are always excited to talk to me at first. Then they start asking me questions about sportsball and I can feel the enthusiasm drain from them as they realize I'm not a buddy they can pal around with at the water cooler.

I too have no interest in sport. I played a lot when I was younger and thoroughly enjoyed myself but I have no interest in watching other men play sport, or talking about other men playing sport. Or listening to other men talking about other men playing sport.

On topic: I once tried to join the NSW Police but I failed the interview when I turned up on time, at the correct address.