Shit that you overheard during Thanksgiving (2021)

[Diet Purple Pepsi]

My grandma just walked in while we were watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade and rolled her eyes at the segment where the host got a call from Joe Biden. The rest of us just laughed and have been heckling the shittier segments until it's time to head to lunch

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

Is this a lesser known part of the holiday, sort of a groundhog situation?

It's neither. I doubt harming a Red Eared Slider is part of the Thanksgiving tradition.
At least the turtles ate turkey yesterday.

 

[biozeminadae1]

Imagine the most developed country in the world just shilling for Israel and Black people.
And in the future - Minor Attracted People.

 

[Berrakh]

I don’t think politics have ever come up at the table. Closest is weird uncle talking about the gold standard being good. And not at the table.

 

[TheAltruist]

My thanksgiving has been oodles of fun. Grandpa Elvis got out the super 8 and shot an awesome snuff film with some guy sporting a head injury from an auto wreck that we found dazed AND confused while bleeding all over our front lawn!

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

Turkey sammich ftw!

 

[M3xus]

My mom had surgery and I'm sick, so it's another year of Thanksgiving alone.

To make up for it, a story from ten-ish years ago. We invited my dad's sister and her family over, she and my dad got drunk and started screaming about politics over the stuffed turkey. Best part was her kid asking an innocent question that resulted in both my dad and my aunt verbally tearing him a new asshole. It was great.

 

[The Lizard Queen]

I have to drive two hours because my aunt is hosting it this year, but she wants everyone and everything to follow a strict dress code and all children have to be wearing red.

It's strictly no fun allowed, which is odd because my aunt is basically a hippie who believes in new age crystal nonsense and fung shui. You think she'd be a bit more relaxed.

 

[Kilo Riley]

I'm not suffering at all. I volunteered to go to work to make some extra money to supplement the already FAT paycheck I got this past week. It's just me and a coworker getting paid to shoot the shit about how much we despise our family, lmao.

Last thanksgiving me and my cousin got into a fistfight because he stole some of my money. Literally caught the nigga red-handed knuckle deep in my strongbox, evidently he filched the keys off of me without me noticing. Fuck that guy.

 

[blacksmith tony]

dont have family near me so im gonna eat too much, clean, play noita for a bit and have old mati spotlights in the background

 

[Lorne Armstrong]

I guess it's a combination of autism, social misfits in the family, and leftover TDS that fermented on social media and carried over to real life.

It's more than that. This type of behavior is encouraged by "influencers" on all "sides". Confrontation is encouraged and the lemmings follow along, believing themselves to be righteous in their behavior. I mean, I haven't watched or clicked on "The News" in a couple of years but I don't have to do so to know that leading up to the Holiday Season there have been a ton of "Here's how to TOTALLY OWN your _________ relatives at _______ holiday this year" articles/posts/tweets/etc. Folks who still consume the poison that is "News" and "Social Media", am I wrong?

 

[Burd Turglar]

I have to go to a shitty version of Dave and Busters for my girlfriends white trash family thanksgiving in the middle of the day. Thank god they have a good bar. Other than that, it's MST3k turkey day all day before I cook a real ass dinner.

Balsamic glazed grilled vegetables
Pomegranate molasses glazed game hens stuffed with crumbled feta and herbs
Oven roasted honeynut squash with spicy maple syrup and brown sugar

Gobble gobble faggots.

 

[(((Obar Lazcano Kamz)))]

THE CRANBERRY SAUCE!

The Cranberry sauce is the absolute best part, god bless @Botchy Galoop

 

[Kilo Riley]

Balsamic glazed grilled vegetables
Pomegranate molasses glazed game hens stuffed with crumbled feta and herbs
Oven roasted honeynut squash with spicy maple syrup and brown sugar

that game hen sounds simultaneously like a disaster and the divine.

 

[FromTheRiverToTheBeeze]

Thanks but I can't see myself Giving a shit.

 

[Bunny Tracks]

>be America
>be fresh out of the womb and the first thing you do is defeat the strongest nation on earth
>beat their ass again when they return like 27-ish years later to try and start shit
>tfw you're so special mother nature personally helped drive them out
>be so iconic you inspire other revolutions all over the world
>be so great that you're literally the only nation to ever do it right
>you're not even 50 yet and you've done more than most countries ever had or ever will
>trick Europoor country into making you even bigger by buying their land off them for like 1% of what it was actually worth
>you now have more land, resources, and diverse biomes than pretty much anywhere else on earth
>MANIFEST DESTINY INTENSIFIES
>come back together after having a civil war that would have permanently split any other country
>MANIFEST DESTINY AGAIN
>be so great everyone flocks to you because they wanna be a part of you
>invent electricity, cars, phonographs, phones, planes, basically all facets of modern technology
>invent foods like soda, peanut butter, candy bars, sliced bread, basically all the foods enjoyed around the world today
>just barely over a 100 years old
>save Europe from destroying itself
>save Europe from destroying itself again by inventing fucking nukes
>turn a 1000-year-old fiercely independent militaristic dictatorship into your bitch who makes you all sorts of cool gadgets and has to rely on you for everything
>square off against literally the only other country that can kill you
>style on every other country by literally going to the fucking moon before you turn 200
>only country that had a chance of beating you literally dies of shame less than 80 years after it was founded
>turn 200 and literally the entire world revolves around you
>every country aspires to be you and begs for your help when shit goes wrong
>every country is jealous because of everything you've accomplished
>invent the internet where they will cope seethe and dilate about you
>know that if you go down the entire world goes down with you
>the whole world is basically your hostage
>feels good tbh
>God Bless America

 

[A Dumb Demon]

Tell us more about the weird boyfriend.

He has told her he's had intrusive thoughts about killing her, then sobs about it and locks himself in his room for hours to brood. Refuses to do anything with her that she enjoys except movies and vidya (she's a very outdoorsy type), and has been openly disparaging towards her hobbies and excuses it by saying he's got autism so he can't see what makes it so interesting/good/pretty/etc. Among other things. I worry about her all the time, but she claims he's a big teddy bear with social issues.

 

[BoneyFright]

One of the many family members visiting for Thanksgiving this year is an antivaxer who has been coughing up a lung since he's gotten here. I'm gonna fucking loose it if I contract covid from that fucker.

edit: I'm not the healthiest person in the world, so their is a legitimate chance that getting covid would fucking kill me.

 

[Caesare]

Imagine the most developed country in the world just shilling for Israel and Black people.
And in the future - Minor Attracted People.

Ikr? Fucking disgusting.

 

[Nobunaga]

>all the euros and spics posting about how much they totally don't care about the US