Shit that you overheard during Thanksgiving (2021)

[Dancing Israeli]

I have to wageslave today.

 

[Whose?]

Working the whole day so I don't have to put up with my family.

 

[The Good Nigger]

Post stories of your Thanksgiving Day here.

Well, since you are asking.
I woke up after playing Tamriel Rebuilt all night for the first time ever, went to work.
Absolutely nothing interesting happened there, just boring coding faggotry.
After work, I checked the temperature diary. About 8 entries there, even though technically everyone is supposed to take measurements every two hours and the company has 150+ people, so no one gives a fuck.
Took a drive to the store, bought some smoked mussels, sausages and milk for coffee tomorrow. The checkout sandnigger demanded I have the paper mask on, so I paid extra $0.067 for the mask. Usually I go to smaller stores who don't give a fuck about the gook-flu faggotry, but tonight I was in a hurry, so I went to the chain close to work.
On my way out, I went to the beer store. The guy there tried to tell me about his experience with receiving the second jab, so I told him to keep pouring, since I'm tired of hearing about the virus and do not care.
Went back home, kept playing OpenMW with TR, but the bitch keeps crashing, have been trying to debug it for about 4 hours now, no idea, what goes wrong.
I think mum tried calling in the morning, but I'm busy.

 

[JethroTullamore]

I got trashed last night, ate 10 chicken wings and an entire bowl of chili, than I passed out in my clothes.

Today I will be staying relatively sober-ish so I can have dinner at an OK restaurant with my dad and step-mom.

Most of my family has either moved out of state, or died. So that’s kind of nice.

 

[Markorian]

Had to work extra yesterday, but I was able to get today off. Spending it with the in-laws, though they're just as much family to me.

 

[lowenergy]

I live near my paternal grandparents and dad, and my dad’s mom can’t cook for shit so we always go out to the same place every Thanksgiving. Three course meal, either prime rib or turkey, and the waitstaff gets great tips so everyone wins. We avoid politics ever since my bipolar grandma became convinced Obama and Isis were hiding on their roof to kidnap her a few years ago. Wish I was back home with my mom’s family, but alas. Hope everyone has a good and delicious thanksgiving!

 

[Mr. Manchester]

We should have finished off the natives.
Anyway, here's a mashed potato recipe.

 

[Equivocal_Iki]

I'm starting to think I wasn't invited.

 

[Baloney Face]

Forever alone here. Avoiding trouble by avoiding people.
Online doesn't count as "people".

And loving it. Really really really.

 

[Horus]

Went to bed early last night, woke up this morning. Ate a dinner roll early, dawned on me I could not smell or taste anything. Jokes on Covid though, I don't like turkey to start with.

 

[Sissy]

I am totally alone and have no friends or family haha, happy thanks giving!

 

[CWCSavedMyMarriage]

“Anon, you need to settle down with a nice Italian girl.”
- Everyone in my family

 

[Pocket_Sand!]

Look there is a serious lack of traumatic alcohol - induced family stories in this thread.

You're not a farmer because of your wholesome extended family gatherings. *projection*

Alcohol induced traumatic events? I've got one.

My family is about as Norman Rockwell painting as you can get, I have three brothers, two older, one younger (young one is a little fucked up, but he's the baby so he gets a pass) we all get along great, our wives love each other, my nieces and nephews are an absolute riot, my parents are loving being grandparents, and my mother's folks are still with us at 90 and 92 and sharp as tacks. Thanksgiving is an all day event at my parents farm, and it gets to be a bit hectic with all the extended family there (60+ people I think).

A few years ago, after the meal, the men of the family went out to the machine shed to drink beer and bullshit, by evening everyone was pretty well toasted except the kids, who wanted to go sledding. We all decided that since the kids were sledding we, as responsible, completely shit faced adults, should supervise this activity. This lead to the adults (myself included) also sledding in the back pasture in the dark. Eventually this lead to my grandfather (85 years old at the time) to declare that we were all pussies because we weren't sledding the big hill overlooking the creek, where he and his brothers did years ago. He then takes an aluminum saucer type sled from one of my nephews, and launches himself down the hill and disappears into the dark. We hear nothing but the sled cutting through the snow, and a loud splash some seconds later, which meant only one thing, an 85 year old man with an artificial hip and one lung just landed in a creek in sub 20 degree weather. We all go tearing down the hill trying to find grandad, yelling and hollering at each other to hurry up get to the creek, go get help (no one did, all of us went running down the hill after grandad) and to call 911. 20 completely wasted middle aged men attempting to sprint down a rough hill towards a creek does not a rescue squad make, and almost all of us hurt ourselves in some way or another. My oldest brother broke his arm, my uncle Tom fell and fractured his skull, I cut my arm open and ended up needing 40 stitches as well as breaking 4 ribs on my right side. All but 4 of us ended up needing ER work, or hospitalizations, not including grandad, who had hit a tree right before the creek, and been knocked out before he hit the water. He ended up concussed, needing stitches on his head in 3 places, had a fractured eye socket, a broken arm, 6 broken ribs, and a terrible case of hypothermia which lead to pneumonia that nearly killed him in the weeks later. My youngest brother who made it down the hill intact, was the one who found grandad, and got him out of the creek and up the hill to safety. He ended up with frostbite and lost two fingers on his left hand, and nearly froze to death from being in the creek and then helping all of us that were hurt make it up the hill to the house before he worried about himself. Through all of this, the kids had run to the house to let everyone else know what was happening and to call 911, they then watched as we all came back up the hill bloody, broken and bruised, absolutely horrified.

16 of us ended up in the ER and 6 of those needing longer term hospitalization, but miraculously, we all lived. Grandad was in the hospital for 3 months, my uncle Tom also 3 months, my cousin Mike a month and a half (he had tripped and impaled himself on an old steel fence post and punctured a lung). My older brother Danny a month for multiple severe lacerations and internal organ damage. My cousin Steve a month for both legs broken and a fractured hip. My cousin Dale a month for exposure and frostbite.

So that was Thanksgiving 2014. Not so Norman Rockwell that year, that's for sure.

 

[Water Drinking Fish]

I am going to binge til I die.

 

[Balthier]

My family are hardcore right wingers but I have a couple of lib cousins. They've already been arguing on Facebook the last week (trashy, lol) about the Rittenhouse verdict but now they're going at it irl. Buttmad abounds.

I'm chilling and eating pecan pie so whatever.

 

[thismanlies]

My cousin thought it'd be fun to cosplay for Thanksgiving so I showed up with an AR-15 dressed as Kyle Rittenhouse. My uncle spent 20 minutes yelling at me while my aunt's been trying to get some guy dressed as Naruto to unlock the bathroom door and join everyone for lunch.

Edit: KYLE RITTENHOUSE IS NOT AN ANIME!!!!!!!

 

[GreaterHacaryguaspear]

I never was in a Thanksgiving day because in Latin America we don't celebrate. Now it's my first time and I don't know how celebrate

 

[Semi-Automatic Smile]

I have a small close-knit family and we don’t fight over politics. My mom and grandpa are milquetoast conservatives that still believe in outdated concepts like personal accountability and meritocracy, while my grandma is a highly educated and sheltered leftist that thinks the entirety of the third world is like her guided tours through Egypt and Peru. I’m in a perfect position to mediate and joke about any differences of opinion between the two sides because I’m a vegetarian but also hate black people.

We’re Dutch so our overwhelming stinginess and greed overrides any personal morals and we all vote for whatever will financially benefit us the most, so there’s no heated debates even during election years. The spiciest things get is when grandpa makes the mistake of having an opinion about the pie other than that it’s the ambrosia of the gods themselves and grandma unleashes a volley of verbal devastation so brutal he slinks off to go watch the game in silence with a thousand yard stare.

I do really love hearing other people’s batshit insane Thanksgiving drama though, one of my coworkers received a screaming phone call that her sister WILL NOT ALLOW MY CHILDREN TO BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS YOU because her kid might have been exposed to Covid at school and now they are all eating separate dinners not talking to one another.

 

[Hollywood Hitler]

This is my loneliest Thanksgiving, since my family has moved all over the country, and my wife is working today.

Instead of Turkey this year I'm making chicken.

 

[Akashic Retard]

I love my family. Never got this “ugh I have to be around my family for Thanksgiving/Christmas” thing. Currently drinking a Bloody Mary and watching the parade, which is probably the most sickening part of thanksgiving besides the cranberry sauce.