Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[GrouchiCorn]

I love the strategic dead arm pose to hide the gunt.

 

[Water-T]

I love the strategic dead arm pose to hide the gunt.

There aren't enough arms on Earth to obscure that gunt.

 

[AbraCadaver]

She’s taking applications for someone to look at like she’s about to holler, “BAAAABE GO GET MAMA ANOTHER DRINK AND A THING UH ICE CREAM!”

 

[multiverse]

She’s taking applications for someone to look at like she’s about to holler, “BAAAABE GO GET MAMA ANOTHER DRINK AND A THING UH ICE CREAM!”

Right? How does she think her "HEY! While you're up, fetch me back some [X] from the kitchen" glare resembles a come-hither look?

She looks grumpy and snappish; it's the look we've seen on the faces of every MSHPL patient as they bellow into the stone faces of their victims for more victuals.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Right? How does she think her "HEY! While you're up, fetch me back some [X] from the kitchen" glare resembles a come-hither look?

She looks grumpy and snappish; it's the look we've seen on the faces of every MSHPL patient as they bellow into the stone faces of their victims for more victuals.

Maybe that’s the draw. She’s obviously fishing for a new cakejohn…maybe the “BRING ME ANOTHER SHEET CAKE!” glare is actually the feeder equivalent of a come-hither look. We’ve had enough people pointing out that for feeders, the whole allure of the thing is having a “prize piggy” to fatten up.

I’m shocked she didn’t go more blatant and have food in the actual shot. God knows she’s done it before, like when she posed in crotchless lingerie with a big cake that said FAT GIRL on it in icing. She’s posed on her knees with her mouth in Blowjob Mode all agape and the caption “I look good on my knees.” She’s about as subtle as a sledgehammer.

Cmon Tess, put out some quality bait if you wanna catch another NDA with a rich feeder. The lads are wary because you broadcast everything on social media and they don’t want to be seen with you in public. Pose in a bikini on a fur throw with a sheet cake in your lap and jizz-coloured icing all over your face, captioned, “I can keep a secret AND a five-course meal down!”

 

[Constellationzero]

New pictures of Tess.

Taking applications for someone to look at like this:

You gonna eat those fries?
You gonna finish that last long john?
What kinda cake?
Did you say cake?
Whaddaya mean can I fart on cakes?
Are those... cake pops?
When's my Swiss Colony order comin" mama's hangry!
Did someone say petit fours and Bavarian Torte?

 

[NoReturn]

Bavarian Torte?

 

[Cripple]

New pictures of Tess.

Applications so you can look at someone like they just ripped a wet one in an elevator?

 

[Pina Colada]

Applications so you can look at someone like they just ripped a wet one in an elevator?

I think it'd be the opposite given her diet and smelly folds.

 

[Theladyinblack]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
View attachment 2755412
This is high art.
The delusional caption, her having to kneel because she either can't stand or fit in frame, the expressions and body language of the people around her, the fact her mom looks younger than Tess does...
Perfetto
View attachment 2755415
View attachment 2755416

The pig that is behind is on point, with the detail that the pig looks cheerful, friendly and pleasant.

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

I love the strategic dead arm pose to hide the gunt.

And it still didn’t work.

 

[Mishy2021]

The checks bounced harder than a CakeJohn after he's blown a load in Tess' folds.

View attachment 2757958

Hoven’s hooves are hideous!

 

[Cloth Eared Bint]

And it still didn’t work.
View attachment 2759290

Holy fuck that upper arm always scares me

 

[Constellationzero]

Holy fuck that upper arm always scares me

Looks like a gay 90's puffy sleeve doesn't it? But that ain't no Gibson Girl...

 

[Nigger faggot 2022]

New pictures of Tess.

That tat on the side of her left thigh looks like a fucking Zentangle. Lame but kinda cool.

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

Looks like a gay 90's puffy sleeve doesn't it? But that ain't no Gibson Girl...

Virgin: leg of mutton sleeves
Chad: ham hock arms

 

[AbraCadaver]

Applications so you can look at someone like you just ripped a wet one in an elevator but are hoping to blame it on them

Ftfy fam

 

[multiverse]

Tess harassed Rylee the entire vacation until he agreed to let her post a photo of him on her feed. She immediately ran to the 'gram to tell anyone who would listen. It does appear that he's finally got a growth spurt, and in a few years his mother will be a problem of his past.

Ryann, of course, is wearing crocs with black socks and a t-shirt three sizes too small to the airport. Much fashion.


Then she made this video of all the hideous outfits she wore to impress her high school friends with at the bar.

 

[Water-T]

Tess harassed Rylee the entire vacation until he agreed to let her post a photo of him on her feed. She immediately ran to the 'gram to tell anyone who would listen. It does appear that he's finally got a growth spurt, and in a few years his mother will be a problem of his past.

Ryann, of course, is wearing crocs with black socks and a t-shirt three sizes too small to the airport. Much fashion.

"Rylee gave me permission", which is Tess-speak for I BUGGED/BRIBED HIM SO I CAN SHOW EVERYONE ON MY IG WHAT AN AMAZING MAWM I AM, RIGHT BEFORE I DUMP HIM BACK ON MY EX AND LEAVE BOWIE AT HOME WHILE I GO OUT AND GET MY DRANK ON!

Tess is going to be so shocked when Rylee dumps her in a shitty nursing home, and she'll totally deserve it (if she manages not to die of a heart attack)

I wonder if Tess had to pay for two plane seats or three?

 

[M.T. Graves]

“Literally ran to my phone to share lol” and the area and foundation of the house are still recovering.