Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

I think this is the funniest video Fat has posted in a few months. The dramatic opening contrast between his recipe sperg-out and the sheer angle of the tilted camera actually had me laughing out loud.

I also really like the cut where the clip is repeated. He obviously wanted to hide dragging his disgusting dead leg around, but instead we get a long awkward silence and more evidence of how completely inept a filmmaker he is.

 

[TurdFondler]

Yum! Thanks Jack! After coming home on a beautiful winter's evening I can't wait to drink a cup of warm heavy cream!

 

[densedance]

Imagine Jr and Tammy Jr are making a child. Now there is Tammy Jr II laying in one of Jacks arm asking for Milk & he needs help from one of Tammy's arm to give the baby the bottle of Milk.

 

[stets]

“suger”
spelling with Jack

I completely missed that in the title. Good one, Jack. Anyway, I've got this one downloaded just in case Jack gets angy about letting us see him waddle. I'll have some fun with the clip if he deletes it.

 

[rubytintedchix]

I completely missed that in the title. Good one, Jack. Anyway, I've got this one downloaded just in case Jack gets angy about letting us see him waddle. I'll have some fun with the clip if he deletes it.

Awesome. Good call on that one. I was only able to phone grab the last one because my YouTube app held on to the cached video. By the time I went to a browser it was already too late.

 

[wdymbro]

I know Jack's videos have shit quality but I almost feel like he needs to swap to his phone at this point for filming. I had to do a double check on my quality settings at the start of the video. Jack on the Go doesn't look much better but the videos are usually a little more clear looking than this garbage.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Bistro sign is back which means he’s releasing videos out of order, to no one’s shock.

 

[wdymbro]

Bistro sign is back which means he’s releasing videos out of order, to no one’s shock.

He's telling that dumb story at the beginning of the "ADD A PACK OF SUGER(sic) FREE HOT COCOA" thing he did a while back. He must have made this around that time despite it being a while ago now.

 

[Aaway]

Bistro sign is back which means he’s releasing videos out of order, to no one’s shock.

he's been sitting on this one for a while because i remember when he sperged out on FB about the hot chocolate recipe he references at the start of the video and that was almost a month ago i'd say, maybe even longer

plus, the trashy christmas decor isn't up in this video so it's at least a few weeks old

 

[Aunt Myrna]

For someone who literally thinks sugar is the devil, you might assume Jack knows the basics about it. How it's spelled, at the very least. But nah. Fuck it.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

Jack forgot to "bring us in close", he completely skips the part with the ingredients. And the double clip... FFS, he couldn't even take 6 minutes to review this cut before uploading? I'm glad he cares so much about the quality of his videos that he asks us to forgive the laundry running in the background, right after the opening clip where it looks like his house is falling into a sinkhole.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

More combining with Jack. The camera is also more crooked than any other CwJ video I’ve seen.

Jack’s keto recipe for hot cocoa contains a cup of heavy whipping cream. 44 grams of fat and 410 calories per serving. Plus at least another 100 calories from cocoa and almond milk. Not even for a snack, but for something he will drink while eating a snack.

Jack again thinks this is diet food because there’s no added sweetener.

Stroke brain also puts in the same clip two times in a row, just like the last video. When he finally gets to the correct clip, we see Jack hobbling around the kitchen for 40+ seconds to find more LIKE MONK FRUIT BETTER to add.

Somehow by the end of the video, the camera is still tilted severely, but this time to the complete opposite angle.

Jack closes the video by wishing the audience Happy Holidays, thus joining sides with the Godless Heathens who hate Jesus in the War on Christmas.

One thing with keto is that you do need to cut out fat. The whole diet is about protein and no carbs/little fat. The whole thing goes against keto. At this point, it makes sense for him to drop the whole keto shit but he will not since people follow the keto diet and will find his videos if he slaps that in the title.

 

[rubytintedchix]

I get the feeling Jack left in the useless clips of him walking around the kitchen to get stuff because Tammy wouldn’t help him setup his mise en place for this video. That’s why he snidely remarks about her wanting to kill him if he touches the washer and the dryer.

They we’re probably out at the store and he had his toddler tantrum about the recipe and she snapped at him and abandoned him alone to film this in the kitchen. That could also explain the bad camera angles. Mommywife wasn’t there to help him with the tripod.

 

[Stasi]

What was even the point of that video? He just put cream into a cocoa mix and farted around his kitchen for a bit.

I know it's completely redundant at this point because we can pull up a hundred better YouTubers but I found one recently and I couldn't help thinking of Jack and making comparisons to Jack in my head.

This guy has a channel just 6 months old with 150k subs already and videos with 500k views. The recipes are delicious but also super simple and he makes a point to mention alternative ingredients and give little tips. Also seems like an interesting dude - a champion boxer, a trained sushi chef and now youtuber. (Also his end credit b roll is him washing dishes which is pretty wholesome).

Jack on the other hand has been at this for 15 fucking years and despite a 400k sub count can't break 10k views on a video. Each video is a bigger disaster than the last and he has nothing of value to add to his stolen recipes and will just say "I don't know why you do that, the recipe just said it". He is a complete disaster on his own but comparing him to even someone completely new at this makes him look even more pathetic.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

The recipe he has in the description (which appears on multiple sites, so it's unclear where he ripped it off from) lists 2 tbsp of "granulated MONK FRUIT" (emphasis his), but the original recipes specify that same amount of stevia/erythritol. I don't bother with artificial sweeteners so I don't know how the two compare in strength, is there anyone who can shed some light on whether that's an appropriate substitution? He also lists vanilla extract and almond milk, and he has them out on the counter in the opener, but he doesn't actually show himself using either one of those.

One thing with keto is that you do need to cut out fat. The whole diet is about protein and no carbs/little fat. The whole thing goes against keto. At this point, it makes sense for him to drop the whole keto shit but he will not since people follow the keto diet and will find his videos if he slaps that in the title.

Except he didn't even do that. The word Keto appears nowhere in the title, nor in the description. Fatty Doo-Doo can't even game the algorithm right.

 

[Aunt Myrna]

One thing with keto is that you do need to cut out fat. The whole diet is about protein and no carbs/little fat. The whole thing goes against keto. At this point, it makes sense for him to drop the whole keto shit but he will not since people follow the keto diet and will find his videos if he slaps that in the title.

Not defending Fatty obv. But this is wrong. Keto is absolutely a fat based diet. ~75% of your calories are supposed to be from fat on Keto. It's one of the many reasons he has never done keto properly. Too much meat to go along with his daily bacon grease ration.

 

[RL Steinbeck]

The camera is also more crooked than any other CwJ video I’ve seen.

That is a proper dutch angle at this point lol

Edit:

 

[Kulee Baba]

One thing with keto is that you do need to cut out fat. The whole diet is about protein and no carbs/little fat. The whole thing goes against keto. At this point, it makes sense for him to drop the whole keto shit but he will not since people follow the keto diet and will find his videos if he slaps that in the title.

I'm sorry to disagree but Keto is actually a high fat diet. People who actually do Keto have to eat weird shit like Cauliflower in a butter sauce.

Keto is very different from a high protein, low carb diet. It's actually High Fat, Low Protein, NO Carbs. Just the plain Hershey's Chocolate Powder is problematic for Keto for the small amount of carbs it contains. True Keto doesn't exceed 20 Grams of Carbs daily.

Edit: I was wrong and the Cocoa is only 1 Net Carb per teaspoon, so unless I'm not seeing something in Jack's recipe this would qualify as Keto. Undoubtedly must taste like shit hence Jack's quick to add Monk Fruit sweetener which just tastes weird unless you use it to just give it a slight taste of sweetness. The reason Keto can work for those who do it proper is because the food is super rich and rather bland. It sounds easy to drink a shitload of plain Heavy Whipping Cream but really it's not.

 

[abobe]

"So I'm sitting in uh--well I'm not sitting, I'm kinda standing--but I'm in the supermarket."
Oops Jack, you let it slip that you use a mobility scooter while shopping.

Edit: Let it slip to his non kiwi viewers.

 

[Inside_Ventura]

Cali getting plump