Captain Ahab
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 12, 2018
The gym is really just an excuse to drive for two hours and swing by a drive-thru on the way back, isn’t it? What’s the point of going to the gym when you can’t do shit once you’re there? You can start right now. Literally NOW.
Just lose some weight first and start by going on longer walks, ideally ones with an uphill part. Once that’s easy move to walking up and down the stairs and basic exercises, like standing from a chair as many times as you can, bodyweight squats, lifting your knees as fast as you can, etc. Then progress to run-walking, then proper running, then add a sprint here and there. Eventually you can move onto basic plyometric exercises, like jumping squats, low box jumps, explosive step-ups, in and out squats, rope jumping, etc. At this point you can start combining it all together do proper workout routines. Now start adding strength training. You can slowly start incorporating dumbbells and kettlebells into your routines. Goblet squats, kettlebell swings, cleans, snatches, pushups, rows. All of that can be done at home or in a park. No need for a gym.
Only when you’ve built that basic level of aerobic conditioning and strength, should you consider going to the a proper gym. Now add med ball/slam ball training for that ballistic component, battle ropes for more full body conditioning, sled pulls/pushes for strength and conditioning. Of course barbell squats, deadlifts, hip thrusts, bench, OHP. Now you’re training proper. It’s maybe a year or two since you started. Now a gym makes sense.
Who the fuck am I kidding. She’s never gonna step a foot in a gym. Even if she does, she’s gonna sweat like a pig walking on a treadmill for 15 minutes, then devour 2,000 kcal of garbage. Just a little treat. Don’t be mad.
Just lose some weight first and start by going on longer walks, ideally ones with an uphill part. Once that’s easy move to walking up and down the stairs and basic exercises, like standing from a chair as many times as you can, bodyweight squats, lifting your knees as fast as you can, etc. Then progress to run-walking, then proper running, then add a sprint here and there. Eventually you can move onto basic plyometric exercises, like jumping squats, low box jumps, explosive step-ups, in and out squats, rope jumping, etc. At this point you can start combining it all together do proper workout routines. Now start adding strength training. You can slowly start incorporating dumbbells and kettlebells into your routines. Goblet squats, kettlebell swings, cleans, snatches, pushups, rows. All of that can be done at home or in a park. No need for a gym.
Only when you’ve built that basic level of aerobic conditioning and strength, should you consider going to the a proper gym. Now add med ball/slam ball training for that ballistic component, battle ropes for more full body conditioning, sled pulls/pushes for strength and conditioning. Of course barbell squats, deadlifts, hip thrusts, bench, OHP. Now you’re training proper. It’s maybe a year or two since you started. Now a gym makes sense.
Who the fuck am I kidding. She’s never gonna step a foot in a gym. Even if she does, she’s gonna sweat like a pig walking on a treadmill for 15 minutes, then devour 2,000 kcal of garbage. Just a little treat. Don’t be mad.
