Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Constellationzero]

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BRUTAL MOGGING.
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I'll do you one better. Pigs don't even take mud baths in slop if they have better mud available. They prefer doing the same things elephants do.
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Look at him go, Tess could never.

Hooves didn't even start the Truffle Shuffle and already her "Elderly Nursing Home Resident-chic" plaid polyester shorts are being OM NOM NOMMED by her fetid gooch.

Someone please remind shim that it's white.

 

[multiverse]

Well, here it comes: Tess is shitting on her dad now. Guess he didn't take her up on her offer to give him Bowie, either. So now both her parents are toxic.

 

[Common Shadow]

Well, here it comes: Tess is shitting on her dad now. Guess he didn't take her up on her offer to give him Bowie, either. So now both her parents are toxic.
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"Create new memories with healthy people."

The nerve of this Hinderberg-looking lumbering bowl of lard.

 

[OttoWest]

When you’ve eaten enough Nutty Buddies to become one:

 

[Common Shadow]

When you’ve eaten enough Nutty Buddies to become one:
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Looks like she raided a family picnic and took the blanket as a souvenir.

 

[NoReturn]

When you’ve eaten enough Nutty Buddies to become one:
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She's using Javy coffee concentrate here. That stuff is hyper-concentrated so she's actually using the right amount, but the thing is that the resulting drink is now equal parts coffee and syrup + filled the rest of the way with oatmilk.

---

Edit: She seriously looks like a blowup doll

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Did she get another tattoo?

 

[knightlautrec]

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BRUTAL MOGGING.
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I'll do you one better. Pigs don't even take mud baths in slop if they have better mud available. They prefer doing the same things elephants do.
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Look at him go, Tess could never.

Let's face it, Tess always looks huge but dear god you never realise how huge until she's standing next to a normal sized woman. (And a beautiful one at that.) She's legit almost as wide as she is tall now.

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

Sorry, I almost didn't notice the plant tattoo amongst the huge GUNT and all the wrinkles, skin dimples, bruising from her seat belt (see the rectangular impression on her ass/thigh/hip/lumpy leg-ish region and recall that this image is flipped, as Dolly is on her right arm vice her left), the sad droopy boobs laying atop the massive abdomen, and that arm that is larger than her jowly head.

SO MANY WRINKLES AND STRETCH MARKS.

Gorl, thank you for just slapping on a filthy crack-dust (or snow? Glitter? I dunno) filter instead of anything to smooth that trainwreck you call skin.

I will say that her ass is hilariously lopsided thanks to this awkward as hell angle, though.

I'd dig more, but I'm in the middle of day-drinking and can't be arsed.

 

[In the Dollhouse]

Let's face it, Tess always looks huge but dear god you never realise how huge until she's standing next to a normal sized woman. (And a beautiful one at that.) She's legit almost as wide as she is tall now.

So, taking the opportunity that both are side by side and standing straight, I took some screenshots cropped and measured, and took the waists to height ratios. Thinking that they aren't flat both this measurements are very generous because they aren't taking into account the sides of the body
The black girl gives me a 0.32, this would make her a Extremely Slim woman ( under 0.35, Marilyn was a 0.33) but if we take into account the lost of side (which, seeing her on profile when she turns, isn't much) it should raise her to the range of 0.35-0.41 which is a slim build
Tess gives me astounding .74, and well..there is a lot lost on the profile because we have seen her sides so yes I think her waist to height ratio might actually be 1 now

Edit: I went and did the sides too now, added it all up and black girl is 0.40
Now, hear this, Tess is 1.3, she is much more wider than she is tall, if we take her recorded height as true that would give us that her waist circumference is about 7 feet
And remember: they are both in heels

 

[Common Shadow]

Let's face it, Tess always looks huge but dear god you never realise how huge until she's standing next to a normal sized woman. (And a beautiful one at that.) She's legit almost as wide as she is tall now.

Put her in a taffy puller and she would STILL appear fat.

 

[NoReturn]

I would be so uncomfortable in this house.

No joke, some deep part of me is actually scared.

Did she get another tattoo?

Why did she post this as a video when it's a still image?

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

I feel like all that makeup makes her look even fatter, it accentuates it.

I think its the greased down hairdo. A most unfortunate choice in a long history of bad choices. That outfit isn't great either, her crotch is eating the shorts

 

[Constellationzero]

I think its the greased down hairdo. A most unfortunate choice in a long history of bad choices. That outfit isn't great either, her crotch is eating the shorts

Spoiler: Only one man can save us from the cake farter

 

[Unexpected Dong]

A Begonia Maculata one of my favorites

Tess why you gotta ruin everything

 

[Snack Cracker]

A Begonia Maculata one of my favorites
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Tess why you gotta ruin everything

I had no idea that was an angel wing begonia until you pointed it out.
Not familiar with specific varieties but it’s such a pretty plant, and now it’s badly tattooed on a ham beast.
There’s a red blob in the center to show that the underside of the leaves are red?
She couldn’t even keep one alive lol, why would she get this?

 

[BIG DADDY]

What an unusual and oddly specific choice. I imagine she knows as much on plants as she does about fashion and modeling

 

[Good Hank]

Stop getting gap fillers, Tess. Every few pounds just creates a new gap to tattoo as your body rapidly bloats to the point of rupturing (). The artist really fucked that up, I'd imagine the backsplash is meant to be just that- and not a depiction of the underside of the leaves. Unfortunate color choice, but muh traditional tattoo design needs RED. Besides, look at how close he had to have been sitting to her putrid trench ass. RIP.

 

[Water-T]

Well, here it comes: Tess is shitting on her dad now. Guess he didn't take her up on her offer to give him Bowie, either. So now both her parents are toxic.

UGH! IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU WON'T LET ME FUCK MY HALF-BROTHER, BUT REFUSING TO LET ME DUMP....UH, I MEAN GIFT BOWIE ON YOU IS THE LAST STRAW, DAD!

 

[taintmisbehavin]

Well, here it comes: Tess is shitting on her dad now. Guess he didn't take her up on her offer to give him Bowie, either. So now both her parents are toxic.
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Hopefully Tess and us are all around in ten years when both of her children post this on their own Instagram accounts.