I go through the list of cows I follow on this hateful transphobic website and I'm honestly astonished at how pretty much all of them have done more with their lives than Lou has.
- Chris-Chan - has a driver's license, made money creating things that people wanted to pay him for
- Jonathan Yaniv - owns his own home, owns a car, occasionally earns money slinging free samples at liquor stores
- Kevin Gibes - has 15,000 followers on Twitter (not much of an accomplishment, but more than Lou can say)
- The Trancheros - own a ranch, run a successful GoFundMe grift
- Brett "Rioley" Lemke - once managed the Whole Earth Festival
- Dave Muscato - former public relations director for American Atheists
- Joe Lavery, Rhys McKinnon, Jimmy "Emmy Zje" Radich - have all succeeded in academia to some degree
- Steven "Bardfinn" Akins - married a woman and produced offspring; is a well-known Reddit jannie
- Donald Trump - once hosted a moderately successful game show
- Guillaume "Sophie" LaBelle - produces books that people buy
- Sean "Sapphixy" Simpson - used to work as an economist
- Adrian Harrop - has a medical degree
- Bryleigh Moderator - has a girlfriend and a (presumably quite remunerative) job at Twitch
- ...etc., etc., etc.
And then there's Lou, who has accomplished nothing and will never accomplish anything, who spends his entire life in a stuffy room in his mother's house playing video games and tweeting abuse at strangers, who most of the time can't even rouse himself to do the things he theoretically does (write uninspired furry transformation stories and bucket-fill drawings made by people who are more talented than he is), who constantly spams the Internet with begposts that receive zero engagement, who has made such a tiny mark on this world that when he dies he will be remembered by no one other than those of us on this hateful transphobic website, we who are the closest thing in the world he has to friends. Incredible.
When you put it like this, I had to scroll through my full Watched list. About the only one who even came close was
Alex Vidal.
I like low-functioning cows; people like Phil, Nick Bravo, and Graeme Kelly, as well as wholesome art cows like Chris, WillM3, DRL, and Taz, and various oldschool meme cows and fringe cows nobody else seems to like.
Chris is my all-time favorite cow, and he's lightyears ahead of Lou, obviously.
Phil's thread is smaller than Lou's, but he had his own subforum (once), he's had a live-in boyfriend (the vodka ogre) and he's touched at least one penis (not the ogres'; even though he pooped himself, at least it was something). Phil's been on the news, albeit as a cruel joke, and he either chopped his dick off, or pretended to chop his dick off for attention, both of which are more than Lou's ever accomplished.
Nick is a jobless failure and even more of a sociopath than Lou, but he's been in prison (life experience!), he's probably touched at least TWO penises, and he's currently living on his own (government housing, since his parents kicked him out of their driveway, where he was living at the time)
But Graeme? Graeme's less clear cut. Graeme may be more of a loser than Louser himself. He doesn't have diabetes, but he's also younger than Lou, so that may come in time. He's also an avowed pedo, instead of a merely suspected one. HOWEVER, I think Lou still has the edge, as Graeme is a legit retard. Lou's certainly not the brightest tool in the shed, but he's genetically and biologically far more capable than Kelly will ever be. Graeme has an excuse for being a human airsack; but Lou...? (also, for all his faults, Graeme doesn't usually pick fights with innocent people on Twitter. He's an oaf and a pervert, not a hardened sociopath)
