Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[UserAccess]

"Workstation", actually. Which makes it funnier. Not only does he think using a workstation implies working while he's using it to fart about on Twitter, he also doesn't realize that workstation is generally used to refer to a specific kind of computer (basically server-class hardware in a desktop box) and I am damn sure he's not using one. Even the machine he's using for video editing is probably just a midrange PC. He's not AutoCADding in his spare time.

(In my IT career I have had to pull a DVD entitled "Horny Hairy Girls" out of a workstation's failed optical drive. So many potential jokes.)

Oh, you're dead on. His "workstation" had the name Dell stamped on the side of it 10 years ago, or there's even a chance he's using the world's last functioning Gateway or Compaq Presario.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

Bob's niece is overweight, if I recall correctly. Given the Chipman predisposition for obesity (well, maybe Chris and Bob), I don't have high hopes for his nephew unless the kid turns out to have athletic talent. Bob should worry more about that than the 'rona.

Both kids would get karma on r/chonkers because both of are fat because their parents are fat and will do nothing to prevent their children from being damned to a life of obesity.

Try opening he/they's twitter in private browsing. He hasn't protected his account, he's just turned the hugbox setting on:

View attachment 2838277

I had never seen that before and was really taken aback. I have no idea how the system deemed my retweet a threat but this is the future that Bob wants.

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

I have no idea how the system deemed my retweet a threat

I doubt even Twitter knows. But I am sure that they don't care.

but this is the future that Bob wants.

A corpo-approved hugbox that will stop big bad reality from intruding while he consooms forever? Yes, please!

 

[Koby_Fish]

The following is in direct response to this. You may not be able to catch fatness but it is 100% preventable

https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/1476163327894200323

View attachment 2838225
What you can catch from fat is cancer, heart disease, mental issues, skin problems, general organ failure, and the thread favorite the beetus. Obesity is a bigger strain on the medical system than the coof is.

The message I'm getting is that the account doesn't exist which would tell me that whoever this was deleted their account.
View attachment 2838208
It would've said suspended had it been flagged down. Why the sped cut and ran I have no idea. Awoooooga you kinda funny guy.

"Hurr durr it's not equivalent because you can't catch obesity from someone else!"
No, but if you get obesity, Bob, it's entirely your own doing. The fact that obesity makes the coof worse is a risk factor that Bob made.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

"Hurr durr it's not equivalent because you can't catch obesity from someone else!"
No, but if you get obesity, Bob, it's entirely your own doing. The fact that obesity makes the coof worse is a risk factor that Bob made.

It could be argued that obesity is communicable. Just look at lesser brother's kids. Those juice boxes and popsicles didn't just magic their ways into their systems.

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

Bob's niece is overweight, if I recall correctly. Given the Chipman predisposition for obesity (well, maybe Chris and Bob), I don't have high hopes for his nephew unless the kid turns out to have athletic talent. Bob should worry more about that than the 'rona.

Odd, because Peter was a skinny dude prior to dying.

Maybe Chipmom cucked him with a fatso.

 

[TigerGoblin]

Bob's niece is overweight, if I recall correctly. Given the Chipman predisposition for obesity (well, maybe Chris and Bob), I don't have high hopes for his nephew unless the kid turns out to have athletic talent. Bob should worry more about that than the 'rona.

Is it just disposition, though? Its not like they are displaying healthy eating habits.

 

[Flexo]

@TheLittlestShirtlord

Mad at it? Bob will absolutely be its most enthusiastic member. Singulatarianism is Satan's religion in embryo, and Bob already believes it. You didn't think that they were going to call it the Cult of the Beast or Mystery Babylon the Great or something equally Biblical-sounding, did you? The fallen angels have always striven to increase humanity's technology level ever since the days of Genesis (and the apocryphal works that discuss the former angels in more detail, revealing how they taught our ancestors metalworking and sorcery). They gave us the knowledge to build Babel. They know more than anyone how useful technology is for their goal: absolute control over every living human.

The mindless worship of the new. The equally mindless disdain for the old, especially religion. The need for a priesthood of super-educated elites that the masses can't hope to understand, selected only for cunning rather than sanity or morality; all too easy to subvert to their purposes, as we have seen. The dehumanizing nature of mass production. Automated continuous total surveillance, eventually extending to people's very thoughts. Defilement of the body, the image of God, with cybernetics and genetic engineering. Every new information technology has had the dissemination of pornography, written erotica, occult works, and Satanic revolutionary propaganda as their earliest uses: the Internet, the motion picture, photography, the printing press. Internet censorship and virtual reality to control perception and debate. And of course Satan and all the fallen need bodies.

But consciousness requires causality-violating physics, because without closed timelike curves you cannot have either the subtle precognition that all humans naturally possess or the hypercomputation necessary to fit the infinite complexity (and thus, potential, and thus, value) of the soul into mere finite matter. Too, retrocausality is necessary for the godlike power of shaping reality through direct act of will; see Benardete's paradox (and recall that any real-world attempt at making use of it has to receive signals before they are sent). Unfortunately, NASA scientists have already "accidentally" created the first "warp bubble"--but the entire concept of the warp drive is a smokescreen, and a false temptation to lure fools like Bob with the idea of a boundless romantic future of space explorations and hot alien women. In reality, relativity makes it quite clear that if you can travel faster than light, you can also travel backwards in time. And this is what will be used to create AI.

Satan will be the first and most powerful AI, as scientists initially resort to running brute force techniques on grossly overpowered hardware to make it work without really understanding what they are doing. But in true Singulatarian fashion, the first AI will be put to work designing newer, smaller, portable, obedient AIs to do all the actual work of overseeing society. These will be the vast legions of demons under Satan's command. They won't call it Satan, of course. Actually, given the decades of work shaping society to demonize everything about masculinity, the fact that research has shown that both men and women respond better to computers that are "female", and the recurring idolatry of the "Queen of Heaven" described in the Bible, we can be sure that Satan will have a female guise. As an arch-narcissist, Satan was in fact the very first male-to-female tranny, and the origin of all the others.

The successful creation of the first AI and "her" creation of "improved" "child" AIs will be the boost that Singulatarianism will need to make the jump from "interesting philosophical concept, but too unlikely to appeal to most people who aren't completely pathetic nerds" to "mainstream religion with proven bona fides" overnight, as its predictions of a supertech future in our lifetime suddenly seem plausible.

The resemblance of the Singularity to the Rapture is no coincidence; the disillusionment of the evangelicals when the Rapture doesn't happen was deliberately engineered to provide hordes of new converts. Rapture believers are fear-driven individuals with poorly developed reasoning and critical thinking capabilities, and as such are authoritarians by nature. It's always been much easier to change what you think than to change how you think, as attested by the numerous cases of fanatics for one cause who one day suddenly change sides to become equally fanatical for the opposite cause, having learned absolutely nothing in the way of caution or moderation in the process. Millions of former evangelical Christians will become the footsoldiers of the new faith.

Bob will probably secretly resent these people, because Obsolete Mayonnaise Ghouldom can never be forgiven--and he'll also resent them in the same way that he resented it when saw that other people could actually notice and discuss recurring media tropes, something that made him feel oh-so-much smarter than the other kids. (But really he only noticed the tropes because just consoomed more media than them.) But I don't have the slightest doubt that unless someone is able to reach him somehow and persuade him to turn his life over to Christ, he will gladly receive the Mark of the Beast and serve Satan loyally (if not well) to the bitter end.

1. This already sounds like a better version of Matrix 4 than what we got. Heck it sounds like a better version of Bob's terminator pitch.

2. I think you would enjoy the sci fi series "Count to the Eschaton."

@The Littlest Shitlord (reply function borked again)
Not for nothing, but in Revelation the Beast will give life to a statue (the Image of the Beast) that can speak and do other things. If that's not a robot, as near as can be described in ancient apocalyptic language, I'll eat my hat.

But Bob, being something of a transformers fan, will likely actually not mind worshipping it.

Now you've discovered @Bender's secret origin!

While we are on the subject of Revelation interpretation, I read something interesting about the "mark of the beast" from Revelation 13. In Roman times, slaves were commonly tattooed with marks on their forehead or hands. The passage can thus be interpreted not as people will literally have biometric IDs in their hands and forehead, but that no one can be part of society without being a slave to the Beast.

Look are you going to get Merlin to help us out against the Big Giant Head or not?

 

[EnemyStand]

Bob's niece is overweight, if I recall correctly. Given the Chipman predisposition for obesity (well, maybe Chris and Bob), I don't have high hopes for his nephew unless the kid turns out to have athletic talent. Bob should worry more about that than the 'rona.

You're assuming his parents will actually permit him to go out for sport. "No, sorry. You can't play football because Uncle Bob's trauma will flare up. Just eat candy and watch the MCU with us again...and again...and again..."

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Lindsey has one night of bad takes, and she ends up losing her entire online career over it.

For Bob, it’s just another Tuesday.

The truth is that Bob is too irrelevant and Z-list to even be on the cancel mobs radar.

 

[Grumpy Pickle Rick]

The truth is that Bob is too irrelevant and Z-list to even be on the cancel mobs radar.

That’s true to be canceled, you have to be a somebody. Bob is a nobody.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

That’s true to be cancel, you have to be a somebody. Bob is a nobody.

There's no prestige in getting somebody canceled when everybody hates them anyway.

It's why DSP is cancel-proof.

You have to be well liked and well respected in your field to be worth cancelation.

Bob already exists in his own little isolated hugbox because of his noxious personality. He's useless, even for cancelation.

 

[glib]

Bobby has fapped the last dreg of his brain out; I don't even begin to understand what he yammers about. Is he fantasizing which orifice he's been invited to penetrate?
View attachment 2837339

I actually met Bella Thorne (on the left) before she was a famous disney kid. Her family was one of those "our kids are pretty and talented, lets get them famous" families.

She was a cute innocent girl before Disney had their way with her. Now she's already washed up as an actress or singer, or whatever the Disney formula is, and has that thousand cock stare.


Which Way...

Do we want to be?

I still feel bad about this. She never had a chance.

 

[Jetpack Himmler]

You're assuming his parents will actually permit him to go out for sport. "No, sorry. You can't play football because Uncle Bob's trauma will flare up. Just eat candy and watch the MCU with us again...and again...and again..."

Bob seems obsessed with turning his impressionable niece into a Spider-Gwen fan, so that rings true. He doesn't seem to realize that the years where they look up to him are fleeting and it's highly probable that he will change from "cool uncle" Bob to "loser uncle" Bob once they reach their teenage years. Imagine a 50-something Bob trying to be hip with the kids.

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

There's no prestige in getting somebody canceled when everybody hates them anyway.

It's why DSP is cancel-proof.

You have to be well liked and well respected in your field to be worth cancelation.

Bob already exists in his own little isolated hugbox because of his noxious personality. He's useless, even for cancelation.

This. Also, Bob makes their side look bad, so most of them prefer to just ignore him lest any unwanted thoughts about "Are we... are we actually the baddies?" pop up.

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

Bob seems obsessed with turning his impressionable niece into a Spider-Gwen fan, so that rings true. He doesn't seem to realize that the years where they look up to him are fleeting and it's highly probable that he will change from "cool uncle" Bob to "loser uncle" Bob once they reach their teenage years. Imagine a 50-something Bob trying to be hip with the kids.

This so much. It's extremely important. Bob probably knows this will happen and he doesn't want the relationship with probably the only people in his family that bring him an inkling of joy in his hate filled life to get strained or distant. You might also say that this is reinforced by his apparent love for his nephews, which is understandable. But Bob should know in his bones that when his nephews go to college or hit their mid 20s they will see Bob as a huge loser that they want to avoid becoming at all costs. Probably even cutting all ties with him. And that can be scary.

This. Also, Bob makes their side look bad, so most of them prefer to just ignore him lest any unwanted thoughts about "Are we... are we actually the baddies?" pop up.

Now, the question. Who will be the last boss of the internet? Who will be the last man standing? The Pigroach or the Blob?

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Bob seems obsessed with turning his impressionable niece into a Spider-Gwen fan, so that rings true. He doesn't seem to realize that the years where they look up to him are fleeting and it's highly probable that he will change from "cool uncle" Bob to "loser uncle" Bob once they reach their teenage years. Imagine a 50-something Bob trying to be hip with the kids.

If his brothers kids really are born autists, then they probably won't ever become cool enough to reject Bob, sadly.

They may wind up having similar teenage years as Bob himself did. It's a tragedy.

 

[Arthur Morgan]

Bob seems obsessed with turning his impressionable niece into a Spider-Gwen fan, so that rings true. He doesn't seem to realize that the years where they look up to him are fleeting and it's highly probable that he will change from "cool uncle" Bob to "loser uncle" Bob once they reach their teenage years. Imagine a 50-something Bob trying to be hip with the kids.

It'll happen before then. Kids tend to start developing their own interests around seven or eight. Not sure how it is with autistic kids, but if that's still true, she might start moving away from the nerdy shit Uncle Bob wants her to be into and be into something different that he doesn't understand. Especially when she goes back to school and tries to fit in with everyone else by watching the popular shows and movies, reading the popular young adult books, and Bob will either have to join in or, more likely, will just ignore what's happening and focus on the nephew if he doesn't like where things are heading.

Unfortunately, I don't see her as being a reader since Chris and Sarah don't appear to be the type of parents to encourage that. Hopefully I'm wrong.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Hey Bobby, Disney+ is not even in the top ten while HBO Max became the most downloaded steaming app of 2021.

HBO Max Makes Top 10 List Of Most Downloaded U.S. Apps Of 2021; Netflix, Disney+ Both Exit Apptopia Chart

HBO Max cracked Apptopia’s list of the 10 most downloaded apps of 2021 in the U.S., while Netflix and Disney+ both fell off the annual chart. The WarnerMedia service tallied 45 million downlo…

deadline.com

Maybe Disney should take your advice Bob and compete and evolve in the streaming market or get out of the way.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Hey Bobby, Disney+ is not even in the top ten while HBO Max became the most downloaded steaming app of 2021.

HBO Max Makes Top 10 List Of Most Downloaded U.S. Apps Of 2021; Netflix, Disney+ Both Exit Apptopia Chart

HBO Max cracked Apptopia’s list of the 10 most downloaded apps of 2021 in the U.S., while Netflix and Disney+ both fell off the annual chart. The WarnerMedia service tallied 45 million downlo…

deadline.com

Maybe Disney should take your advice Bob and compete and evolve in the streaming market or get out of the way.

Of all my streaming services, it's the one I use the absolute least.

They just don't have enough content that's gonna keep a guy my age entertained for long, unless they're autistic.