Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[jitter]

Jack needs a mini food processor. No one wants whole stalks of parsley or half inch pieces of red onion in their salad. And lol at that "3 tablespoons" of oil. Guy used half a cup.

 

[stets]

Rate me optimistic, but I think Jack actually has managed to lose some weight over the past year. Not a life-changing amount, but it is noticeable. Not that this is due to some lifestyle change though. When you weigh over 300 pounds, you can continue to eat garbage and lose weight if you just eat less of it.

Jack in January ‘21

Jack in January ‘22

Dude is still fat as fuck and will die from obesity, but at least he’s marginally healthier than he used to be.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

He claimed to eat healthy last year, so I guess all the Fats on the Go where he eats pizza, and all the dessert videos on Cooking With Fat don't count.

Also he stole this from SimplyRecipe from what I can tell, and there's no real reason to hide it other than he's angy it didn't taste good or look just like the photo'd meal since he's a mushbrain who fucked up the portion and methods of assembling this no brainer meal.

Actually this one from Kitchn looks like the one he stole. (edit: yeah it's definitely that one, he even copy-pasted the instructions exactly) It has all the ingredients that he used, and the extra step of the dressing which Jack decided to do first. Of course Jack got the proportions all wrong, didn't chop the ingredients finely enough, and just kind of mashed everything up with a fork instead of whisking it into a smoother consistency. Leave it to Jack to fuck up a recipe this simple.

I'm actually surprised that he addressed his diet attempt at all, even if he did blatantly lie to us about "eating healthy all last year". I was expecting he'd just memory hole it like he has with so many other things.

 

[ZipDisk]

Fuck! I missed that the god damn bistro sign is back. I want to snap that fucking thing in half and throw it into a fire.

 

[MasterDisaster]

Rate me optimistic, but I think Jack actually has managed to lose some weight over the past year. Not a life-changing amount, but it is noticeable. Not that this is due to some lifestyle change though. When you weigh over 300 pounds, you can continue to eat garbage and lose weight if you just eat less of it.

Jack in January ‘21

View attachment 2879642

Jack in January ‘22

View attachment 2879635

Dude is still fat as fuck and will die from obesity, but at least he’s marginally healthier than he used to be.

It's probably just the shirt. Black is a slimming color.

 

[noblastic]

tardbucket is acting like he knows about beta testing and security updates

 

[Sonic T]

He really is a baby if he can't handle movies with cursing and "adult themes". No wonder he watches Blues Clues and has baby music in his videos. He wasn't really working with a full deck to begin with, but those strokes have really done a number on his cognition.

He loves Nick Jr because they talk slow with clear annunciation, and look directly at the viewer. It's easier for him to listen to and comprehend. I heard they're going to try counting to 7 next week, and Jack is really excited about it.

 

[BentDuck]

He briefly mentioned his “weight loss” in the last year (no numbers mentioned of course and no mention of Sanford. Sure, fatty.

To be fair, I'm sure he's lost quite a bit of weight in between his ears.

 

[Aaway]

He really is a baby if he can't handle movies with cursing and "adult themes". No wonder he watches Blues Clues and has baby music in his videos. He wasn't really working with a full deck to begin with, but those strokes have really done a number on his cognition.

it's nothing but jack LARPing as a good christian family man to please his murder church friends and tammy when in reality he's a scumbag who nearly murdered his own son

 

[captkrisma]

For those of you who wont see The 355, and it's safe to say almost no one will see The 355, the twist that Jack is referring to is that one of the big bads is a love interest of Chastain's character who betrays her in cliché spy movie fashion (dude "dies" in a chase for the McGuffin, only to be revealed he's alive near the end of the film in a high profile art auction). It's a trash movie, and deserves it being called a dud by the critics.

 

[salmonellajack]

He really is a baby if he can't handle movies with cursing and "adult themes". No wonder he watches Blues Clues and has baby music in his videos. He wasn't really working with a full deck to begin with, but those strokes have really done a number on his cognition.

Almost sure I saw a video of Jack's where he talked about his porn addiction once.

This is all about looking like the best Christian possible

 

[Super Hans]

Almost sure I saw a video of Jack's where he talked about his porn addiction once.

This is all about looking like the best Christian possible

I know this is Jack we're talking about, but surely he has to know that bringing up that he watches content intended for toddlers doesn't put him in the best light to anybody. Isn't Mel Gibson a popular actor in his crowd? He has a few movies on HBO that are explicitly right wing, like Dragged Across Concrete and Blood Father. Then again, unless it has a 50+ million marketing budget, might as well not exist to a consoomerist like him.

 

[rubytintedchix]

I love the hard cut he did from him trying to cut open the avocado to this massacre:

View attachment 2879497

That avocado was not ripe at all. Not even a little bit. Not like fatty knows how to tell, since he never eats any fresh fruits or veggies.

I thought this could have been cool if he strayed away from the recipe a bit and used cilantro and lime rather than lemon and parsley. And like someone else said, stems in parsley are nasty. You can eat the stems in cilantro if you cut them fine enough. I think there’s a lot of flavor there. Not so much in parsley.

The tuna he used looked like poor quality. He probably could have dumped in a can of cat food and it would have looked better.

The sultan of Mayo was looking for a recipe to avoid it so we don’t make fun of him and hurt is fee fees.

I couldn’t get to the farms for most of last night, but I rounded up some from Jack’s boomerbook group for funsies.

On the garlic clove debacle:

Based Rob checking in.


An update on Mitch:

Probably why Jack gets hacked so much…

 

[Schmuck of Ages]

Not what that Bible story was about man.

 

[AnOminous]

Archive (720p):

He looks more stroked out and retarded in every single video, and his corpselike pallor is really taking off.

Horrifying gummy garlic:

What he does to that garlic is a war crime.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Not what that Bible story was about man.

Yeah, imagine Jack with no clothes. ‘Nuff said.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Avocado Tuna Salad | Tuesday, January 11 2022:​

Horrifying gummy garlic:
View attachment 2879135

Watch him mangle an avocado:
View attachment 2879191

Of course he hated that recipe because, like everything, he jacked it up. Way too much oil, that nasty garlic and everything.

Using a ripe avocado to replace the mayo in your tuna salad is a great way to use them when they're overripe. But that's all it is. Instead of mayo you replace it with avocado. Make your tuna salad as you normally do but mash up an avocado in place of mayo.

Sure it looks putrid but it tastes really good.

 

[AnOminous]

Using a ripe avocado to replace the mayo in your tuna salad is a great way to use them when they're overripe.

But of course he jacked it up by using one that was obviously not even ripe.

 

[MasterDisaster]

it's nothing but jack LARPing as a good christian family man to please his murder church friends and tammy when in reality he's a scumbag who nearly murdered his own son

Only shit-tier Christians believe in a candy coated world with no violence and nudity. My youth pastor took us to see Sin City when I was younger.

 

[captkrisma]

Not what that Bible story was about man.

Uh...didn't Adam and Eve make clothes out of shame? If we were the way God intended and without sin, we'd all be going around with the dangly bits out.