Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.5%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 198 14.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 794 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,395
One thing about shit-tier cooks like Jack is his reliance on other people to provide him with recipes. Instead of watching actual cooks, however, which require skill, patience and most importantly; two hands...he prefers channels like So Yummy because the videos are super short and have edit skips to speed the process along. Problem is 99% of those super popular 'cooking' channels are all fake and solely exist to farm the Youtube algorithm.
There's a Youtuber I follow named Ann Reardon and she spends a lot of time debunking fake recipes. As a food scientist she'll explain why most of the food they 'create' is falsified and how they use editing to hide obvious flaws.
Simply put Jack is just too impatient to be a genuine cook. You've all seen his undercooked/overdone dishes. It's either gotta be something he can cram into his mouth ASAP (Lazyman tacos) or something he can set and forget just to actually forget about.
Ann Reardon is so fucking cool.

She's what youtubers should strive to be.

I've learned so much from her.

If you're at all interested in food science I would highly recommend her videos. She breaks down exactly why what you're seeing in those 'content farm' videos is literally impossible.

What's with this guy and trying to stick his tongue out like Gene Simmons?
The tongue thing is actually a death fat thing. If you watch My 600 Pound Life they all do it.

It's so you can get more food in your mouth.

Amberlynn Reid does it too.

Edited so I didn't double post.
 
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Eggs were first thing I ever made as a kid too. They're pretty much entry level ingredient and a great way to gauge one's cooking ability given that you can kinda keep fucking up and it's still edible. Hell, Gordon Ramsey considers being able to make scrambled eggs an indicator of some cooking skill because yes...people can fuck up scrambled eggs.
My first culinary understanding was you can never fuck up eggs. No matter what goes wrong, just pretend you always intended to make scrambled.
 
like @captkrisma predicted, it looks like jack's "recipe roulette" won't actually include any "roulette" at all. he's just going to choose whatever easy recipe he wants from the internet like he always does and then claim he chose it randomly

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as usual, rob gets it but of course fatty didn't respond to him

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like @captkrisma predicted, it looks like jack's "recipe roulette" won't actually include any "roulette" at all. he's just going to choose whatever easy recipe he wants from the internet like he always does and then claim he chose it randomly

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as usual, rob gets it but of course fatty didn't respond to him

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Rob is clearly trying to get Jack to do this legitimately just so people can watch him waffle through recipes until he finds something with the fewest number of ingredients and work involved. I bet he's gonna use a Cathy Mitchell cookbook because half her recipes are 'dump' recipes.
 
like @captkrisma predicted, it looks like jack's "recipe roulette" won't actually include any "roulette" at all. he's just going to choose whatever easy recipe he wants from the internet like he always does and then claim he chose it randomly

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as usual, rob gets it but of course fatty didn't respond to him

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So what's the appeal here? If you unironically liked Jack, what does this add to the video for you? I genuinely don't understand what he's thinking.
 
Eggs were first thing I ever made as a kid too. They're pretty much entry level ingredient and a great way to gauge one's cooking ability given that you can kinda keep fucking up and it's still edible. Hell, Gordon Ramsey considers being able to make scrambled eggs an indicator of some cooking skill because yes...people can fuck up scrambled eggs.
Eggs are really versatile! They are a pretty forgiving ingredient and a great way to get people interested in cooking, the carton sizes also allow you to fuck up your way during learning. Jack being a fucking retard that can't boil an egg while even kids can with ease shows how much of a delusional shit he is lol!

I hate how he continues to be a prick to people that for some reason, seem to genuinely like him. I need to fucking punch him.
Jack sees himself as a culinary genius in spite of being a narcissistic retard. He lashes out at those people precisely because he thinks they are questioning his skills, he is that much of an asshole!
 
jack should just disable comments on his FB posts since he's such a massive bitch

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You know what an adult does? They find another spot instead of waiting 10 minutes for somebody to pull out. If you have the time to sit there and wait for somebody to leave so you can take that spot then you have the time to walk to the front entrance.

If I were in a parking spot and saw some weird gurning freak like Jack obviously freaking out and waiting for the spot, I'd find some way to stay there for a half hour.
We'd all do that especially if Mushbrain was throwing a tantrum in the passenger seat while Mommywife is silently planning on how to kill him.

Eggs were first thing I ever made as a kid too. They're pretty much entry level ingredient and a great way to gauge one's cooking ability given that you can kinda keep fucking up and it's still edible. Hell, Gordon Ramsey considers being able to make scrambled eggs an indicator of some cooking skill because yes...people can fuck up scrambled eggs.
I think eggs are pretty entry level for everybody. Being able to cook an egg means you have some skill as minimal as it is.

Mushbrain, still, can't cook eggs for shit. If you fuck up cooking an egg how can you possibly imagine you can cook anything else?
 
Mushbrain, still, can't cook eggs for shit. If you fuck up cooking an egg how can you possibly imagine you can cook anything else?
Well Jack tends to steal his video images from genuine cooks and I strongly believe he bases whether or not the food is done with just a visual check; 'This turkey is kinda brownish and looks sorta like the picture so it must be done! Four hours of cooking? Ha!'
 
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So what's the appeal here? If you unironically liked Jack, what does this add to the video for you? I genuinely don't understand what he's thinking.
the recipe roulette idea is nothing more than jack's latest attempt at salvaging his already dead channel

in other news, jack seems excited for the SB halftime show which will include dr dre, eminem, snoop dogg, kendrick lamar, and mary j blige. i'm very confused

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the recipe roulette idea is nothing more than jack's latest attempt at salvaging his already dead channel

in other news, jack seems excited for the SB halftime show which will include dr dre, eminem, snoop dogg, kendrick lamar, and mary j blige. i'm very confused

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Old man tries to maintain relevance by appealing to kids interests; News at 11.
 
I think eggs are pretty entry level for everybody. Being able to cook an egg means you have some skill as minimal as it is.

Mushbrain, still, can't cook eggs for shit. If you fuck up cooking an egg how can you possibly imagine you can cook anything else?
I know someone who burns hardboiled eggs on a somewhat frequent basis, and they still manage to be a better cook than Jack.
 
the recipe roulette idea is nothing more than jack's latest attempt at salvaging his already dead channel
Exactly this. He wants to try something "new" that can't be easily replicated on TikTok.

in other news, jack seems excited for the SB halftime show which will include dr dre, eminem, snoop dogg, kendrick lamar, and mary j blige. i'm very confused

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Fat man baby excited to hear Walmart mashups of popular songs.

BTW, Jack better hurry up with that recipie roulette video...seems like I might have something going up tonight involving an RNG app and a stack of cookbooks...
 
He may have the time, but he certainly doesn't have the stamina.
I'd imagine walking with that gimp leg would be tiring after a while. But then you have to remember this is effectively self-inflicted.

the recipe roulette idea is nothing more than jack's latest attempt at salvaging his already dead channel

in other news, jack seems excited for the SB halftime show which will include dr dre, eminem, snoop dogg, kendrick lamar, and mary j blige. i'm very confused

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Considering how he's so afraid of the darkies, it's surprising that he's into their music. Although this could just be him trying to show that he's hip with the kids.
 
Considering how he's so afraid of the darkies, it's surprising that he's into their music. Although this could just be him trying to show that he's hip with the kids
His love of hip-hop is VERY sanitary. Any hip-hop he's mentioned in the past were all from groups that were on mainstream airwaves at some point in time.
 
the recipe roulette idea is nothing more than jack's latest attempt at salvaging his already dead channel

in other news, jack seems excited for the SB halftime show which will include dr dre, eminem, snoop dogg, kendrick lamar, and mary j blige. i'm very confused

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He's mostly excited because he can boil more eggs in bags and eat them as the black people make their hideous toilet sound music in the background and not miss the black people grope each other for the pig skin I guess.

Either that or he's just trying to pretend his taste in music isn't shit. The baby music he uses will forever fuck that delusion over tho.
 
i missed this, but looks like we can all put to rest any concerns regarding rob potentially getting boys club'd

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Sorry, but I can’t get past the “You are still a close friend of mine…

What in holy hell is Jack using as criteria to gauge *close* friendship?? Rob is a virtuoso when it comes to tasteful, subtle trolling. Despite throwing a few dollars in Mushbrain’s direction, he puts out posts and video content mocking his ass. And don’t forget that if Rob was anywhere near a location that Jack was traveling to and offered to link up, Jack would absolutely refuse. He has rarely met up with fans in the past, and would never think about doing it these days. Not that I think anyone is owed the time of someone else, I just find it strange that Jack would consider someone a “close friend,” but opt never to meet them under any circumstance.

How, I wonder, does Mushbrain look at all that and say ‘yeah, that guy’s a close friend’? It has to be as simplistic as the guy giving him money, being the 2nd* ever person to buy his shit, and throwing him the only plug that’s he’s gotten since WTIC (with trolling in the videos, no less). His circle of friends has dwindled by that much. It almost reminds me of myself when I was going through the born-again Christian phase and was pontificating on the Internet. Shit makes me cringe looking back, and seeing him almost replicating my behavior in thinking that online relationships like these constitute close friendships is just…UGH.

*source: Rob and Should I Series the only confirmed buyers………none of you were crazy enough to buy Jacksauce, right???
 
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