Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

[dillybars]

He’s going to OD

 

[Kheapathic]

Does Ralph even hold a passport? I'm not saying there's a reason he'd be barred from getting one; just doesn't seem like the type who'd go through the process to get one and/or doesn't realize non-USA countries actually try to enforce their borders a bit.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

5 bucks he tries to speak chopped up Spanish.

 

[Fools Idol]

Ralph does know that this isn't normal right? Like, wasting their Saturday on a plane out of spite is fucking crazy. I spent the day waiting for replacement carbon brushes in my washing machine.

 

[GL09]

Almost can't believe he went through with it, what an idiot. Hopefully it will be more interesting than his boring Vegas trips. But if no one is with him who will take pictures of him passed out drunk on the beach like in Miami?

 

[Admiral Piett]

I think the best part of this by far is that he's decided he still needs to go, inspite of Dick not being able (or willing) to go. Meaning all of the Ayy-Lawgs live so rent free in Ralph's head that he's going to go to Portugal on his own volition.

Imagine, actually going to another country, across the world. With no aim. No grasp of the language. Over internet beef. And then also travelling with no friend to keep you company.

I don't think anyone would realistically begrudge him for setting back the date because Dick 'hurt' himself. But Jesus, this is in my view, some fascinating new low in how the Ayy-Lawgs get into his low IQ head.

 

[What the shit]

I wish I had Ethan "the Gunt" Ralph's considerate and carefree attitude.

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

Fuck, aylawgs will be bombarding the air/border/security peeps with warnings about this threat to Portuguese public order.

Maybe suggest Somalia next?

 

[Random Internet Person]

TL;DR for anyone reading this feature:

- Andy Warski is an old friend of Ralph from the glory days of 'Internet Bloodsports'. This song is about him.
- Andy is ethnically Portuguese and has wanted to go back to Portugal for years.
- Andy was in a chatroom with people Ralph hates.
- Ralph now hates Andy.
- Ralph is visiting Portugal to spite Andy. The logic is unclear, but it's probably along the lines of "I have enough donation money from my streams to visit Portugal any time I want, unlike Andy, who cannot afford to move there right now. This will own him."
- Portugal also has decriminalized narcotics, decriminalized prostitution, and a low age of consent.
- Dick Masterson was invited to come but injured his ankle at the last moment so Ralph is going alone.
- May, Ralph's pregnant fiance, is also not coming.
- Andy and PPP (Ralph's Canadian arch-nemesis) did a stream together which was successful and is probably stressing him out. Read more.

You're now caught up. This is probably his flight:

TP232 Flight Tracker-Washington to Lisbon (TAP-Air Portugal TP 232)-PlaneMapper

Flight TP232 from Washington to Lisbon is operated by TAP-Air Portugal. Scheduled time of departure from Washington Dulles Intl is 18:40 EST and scheduled time of arrival in Lisboa is 06:20 WET. The duration of the flight TAP-Air Portugal TP 232 is 6 hours 40 minutes.

www.planemapper.com

How the fuck is going on a vacation by yourself owning a hated enemy?

 

[Bixnood]

portuguese niggas finna all be like "dios mio, el gunto"

 

[Lobster Cult High Priest]

Wait a minute Ralph....do you have any friends that would accept a free vacation with you on short notice? Maybe Gator?

He would sooner fly out Rand to hang with him Portugal. Also getting drunk in Portugal with Rand sounds like a fun time.

Might not be as absurd and retarded as you think. Hear me out:
We heard the story that Andy told about Nora last night. We know how threatening and intimidating Ralph is towards his women. If you think he wouldn't do exactly the same thing to a his pregnant horse bride, you're fooling yourself.
Here's my schizo theory: Pantsu is being extremely supportive of Ralph's trip as subterfuge. She needs Ralph to leave the country to give her an opportunity to escape. Ralph has assuredly abused her on at least multiple occasions already. She knows what she's in for if she stays with him. It's a matter of physics at this point.
So... Ralph flies to Portugal in order to own Andy Warski. The minute the plane takes off to Lisbon, Pantsu returns to the Gunt Shack, packs up all her shit and flees to an undisclosed location. Ralph comes back, and everything he owns is gone. Computers, recording equipment, etc.

If that’s the case than why didn’t she flee during one of the Gunts biweekly pilgrimages to Vegas?

 

[Wyzzerd]

I wonder why he's doing this now and not when the gunt spawn 2.0 is supposed to arrive. Unless the plan is to either get arrested or "disappear " to escape the horse?

 

[Guntkvd]

Ralph tomorrow

Party By Myself

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www.youtube.com

 

[Slimy Time]

In short, I would say this is not a likely occurrence unless he gets violent.

It's a good thing that has never been an issue for Ralph at.....oh.

I think the best part of this by far is that he's decided he still needs to go, inspite of Dick not being able (or willing) to go. Meaning all of the Ayy-Lawgs live so rent free in Ralph's head that he's going to go to Portugal on his own volition.

Imagine, actually going to another country, across the world. With no aim. No grasp of the language. Over internet beef. And then also travelling with no friend to keep you company.

I don't think anyone would realistically begrudge him for setting back the date because Dick 'hurt' himself. But Jesus, this is in my view, some fascinating new low in how the Ayy-Lawgs get into his low IQ head.

Just imagine the things the Ayy-Lawgs can get this guy to do out of spite. Dude has already shown his micropeen on the internet and gotten into a meme fight with another fatass, and now he's hopped onto a plane to own someone over internet tough guy points. What else can people get him to do?

 

[Ralphamale]

RALPHAMALES LETS FUCKING GOOO

 

[Disheveled Human]

How the fuck is going on a vacation by yourself owning a hated enemy?

Nothing wrong with Internet bullies pressuring you into taking an ill-advised vacation on a moments whim. Remember no matter how lame or not worth it the vacation is Ralph is gonna pretend it was the best experience a person could have and that he was treated like a king!

 

[Tommy's Mom]

In short

I see what you did there. 5'1" Ralphamale BTFOd once again.

 

[Zilortha]

Ralph’s gonna fuck a few prostitutes and stay in his hotel room the entire time.

So it's gonna be the same as Miami basically. Gotcha.

 

[Stasi]

Nothing wrong with Internet bullies pressuring you into taking an ill-advised vacation on a moments whim. Remember no matter how lame or not worth it the vacation is Ralph is gonna pretend it was the best experience a person could have and that he was treated like a king!

So I met Jose in the back alley and, this is true by the way, he said he watches the killstream and was a big fan so he gave me a discount on the underaged hooker. I bet Josh Moon couldn't even get a hooker with his broke dick. Ralphamale wins again baby!

Ralph recounting his recent trip on the next kill report.

 

[Jump]

The plane has left the gate. Alogs BTFO

https://www.flightradar24.com/TAP232/2a9475b7