Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

Potatis Salad said:
Joe took to Twitter to brag about his "filthy Lex ad."
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Turns out he uses his real name and posts some interesting shit.

The "filthy new ad":
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Soliciting a top to come and fuck Lily:
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Not sure who the "femme" in this one is. He repeatedly refers to Lily as "andro" so it's not her. This was posted the day after he pulled out of that podcast taping because "too much covid brain fog."
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This one is definitely Lily. "Choo choo" refers to "running a train" aka a gangbang. WTF.
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A roundup of the boring ones:
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"My life is dope and I do dope shit."
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Bonus line from one of the formerly-subscriber-only "poems" that Joe just moved from Substack to his own website, published on December 26, 2021:

:story:
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Joe's "assistant" is probably forced to type these up. Can you imagine the contract that exists for that job?

So these are the orgies Jacinda of New Zealand was allowing through COVID lockdowns, eh?
 
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Windows 10 Upgrade said:
2) (Less likely) Her Substack brings in more money than his had the potential to and they're staying on. Given that he was on a $125K retainer is this possible? How much does a Substack make?
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Mallory was signed on for a two year deal for $430,000. She is a MUCH bigger deal than he is, and always has been.

Here's the archive of the NYT article about their substack contracts, it was discussed ages back in the thread but that's where the info came from.
 
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I've been looking through Joe's "poetry" that he moved from subscriber-only Substack to his website. The poems are garbage, predictably; a lot of the content consists of Joe recounting his dreams so it's not even lolcow milk, just total nonsense. However, there are some bits of reality, or at least reality according to Joe.

"how i came to buy a new coat" posted on December 22, 2021 (https://archive.is/BsLJQ)
When Sondheim died,
I wanted to buy a big black coat I had just found,
and it was luxe and expensive, and I thought it would
make me a real woman. And I still think that, tbh.
I wanted to go to Marie’s to mourn, but I couldn’t go
except in the coat, and goodness knows I couldn’t afford
the coat on my own, though the next day Lily put it on her card,
and I paid her back when I got the next chunk of advance.
Writing is irregularly rewarding but god knows I’m overcompensated.
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So...is Joe blowing all his cash the second he gets it, and essentially living paycheck to paycheck? This could be some kind of weird poetic (??) device, but I don't think it is. And it totally tracks.

Incidentally, the coat is this one from Loewe, $3,800.
loewecoat.PNG

Wow, doesn't it look so "luxe and expensive" covered with dog hair on a fugly troon?
coatdoghairtwitter.PNGcoatdoghair.jpg
At least Joe took the dogs out for once!
 
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Potatis Salad said:
The poems are garbage, predictably; a lot of the content consists of Joe recounting his dreams so it's not even lolcow milk, just total nonsense. However, there are some bits of reality, or at least reality according to Joe.
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Ahh, someone else's dreams. Widely known to be the most riveting topic on earth.

Potatis Salad said:
"how i came to buy a new coat" posted on December 22, 2021 (https://archive.md/BsLJQ)
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This actually made me lol. The tranny tax is high indeed, hope you learned your lesson, substack.

I am so lazy
That I write poetry in five minutes
About nothing, my thoughts, my dreams
And someone else pays for it
I am a liar, a cheat, a fraud
I read kiwifarms
But they are all wrong
Haters.
 
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Potatis Salad said:
I've been looking through Joe's "poetry" that he moved from subscriber-only Substack to his website. The poems are garbage, predictably; a lot of the content consists of Joe recounting his dreams so it's not even lolcow milk, just total nonsense. However, there are some bits of reality, or at least reality according to Joe.

"how i came to buy a new coat" posted on December 22, 2021 (https://archive.md/BsLJQ)

So...is Joe blowing all his cash the second he gets it, and essentially living paycheck to paycheck? This could be some kind of weird poetic (??) device, but I don't think it is. And it totally tracks.

Incidentally, the coat is this one from Loewe, $3,800.
View attachment 2945645

Wow, doesn't it look so "luxe and expensive" covered with dog hair on a fugly troon?
View attachment 2945646View attachment 2945647
At least Joe took the dogs out for once!
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'You don't make a mouldy pork pie taste any better by putting it in a new paper bag..' (Jack Duckworth)
 
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Potatis Salad said:
So...is Joe blowing all his cash the second he gets it, and essentially living paycheck to paycheck?
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It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a troon in possession of literally any amount of money, must be in want of a way to blow it immediately.
Troons are dogshit at budgeting. Even worse than just buying the expensive coat himself, he makes his girlfriend use her credit card and then he'll pay her back later. Enjoy that interest, Lily.
Joe makes six figures and is still stuck in a cycle of owing random friends and acquaintances and having no savings. It's mind-boggling.
 
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What is the point of dating Joe. Seriously. He's an emotionally unfaithful sex weirdo, grifts off his girlfriends' credit, gets addicted to anything, looks like shit, writes like shit, and never stops talking about himself. Is it literally just the associate professor thing? Because unlike doctorates, that title can be taken away.
 
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Cryin RN said:
What is the point of dating Joe.
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Elaborate self-harm? The sunk cost fallacy? Disappointing your youth pastor?

I still think the happy ending to this tail of woe and bad hair is for all the women in his life to leave him. Then we could watch him desperately flail around looking for a new host organism to buy him stuff and vacuum and tell him his Tweets are important.
Mallory can still detransition and write a memoir that would go nuclear, sales-wise. Abigail Schrier's book did gangbusters.
 
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Law said:
Mallory can still detransition and write a memoir that would go nuclear, sales-wise. Abigail Schrier's book did gangbusters.
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This is the tragedy of Mallory for me, really. Her fan base was mostly professional women, and professional women over the last few years, as the Wokey-dokes have invaded their workplaces and demanded their pronouns and preached gender identity to their daughters, been forced to make a choice between becoming a handmaiden or becoming a TERF. You can keep your head down, but they will come for you if you don't affirm loudly enough, or advocate for 6 foot 'Jasmine' to use the ladies, or rush to be the first to put pronouns in your email.

I don't really know how many of her fans followed her to 'Dear Prudence', which was cognitive dissonance for the handmaidens because she was purporting to be male by then. But I do know a lot of women drifted away from her because they didn't really believe in all this junk and they were trying to ignore most of it. And, of course, her trooning gave her a mean streak, too, and she took over all the cruelty of the Critical Race Theory and Gender Ideology crowd- hating the police, hating the blue collars, hating the little man.

If she had gone the other way she would have been cancelled, but so have a lot of women. She could have fought alongside Abigail Shrier and Meghan Murphy and done the internet show circuit and been on Joe Rogan and lived it up with the other undesirables. The sisterhood of actual feminists would have done her a lot more good than marrying fucking Joe of all people.

Instead of a feminist icon riding bravely through the waves of the Zeitgeist telling men to shove their woman feelz, here she is, making fun of suburban mothers, with her chopped off tits pretending to be a man, while a man pretending to be a woman posts photos of the bite marks he inflicted on her and it's all, I dunno, empowering or some shit.

#Teamterf would have suited her so much better.
 
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Aramis said:
What is "green juice?"
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I could be wrong but I read it as actual green juice, like a celery, kale, lemon + ginger juice you'd get from a health food joint. To Joe, Lily has a "green juice" vibe because she's slim/healthy/gorpcore/vegetarian/etc. And to me, "bitten lip" evoked this:
bittenlips.PNGbittenlip.jpg
Feminine, submissive, mutely tolerating pain.

I dunno, probably useless to attempt an exegesis of Joe's coombrained ad. No matter what the fuck his "green juice and bitten lip" means, soliciting strangers online to "top" Lily is ghoulish.
choochoo.png

EDIT: Joe posted the above ad on the app Lex on Aug 24, 2021. He and Mallory both posted on Instagram that same day--Joe was headed to CA to meet Lily. He was probably looking for "tops" out there, not in NY. So at least he wasn't trying to schedule the "top"-fest in the apartment with Mallory in the other room.

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Bonus: try to read Joe's caption without vomiting:
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This nasty slob. Ugh.
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Potatis Salad said:
I could be wrong but I read it as actual green juice, like a celery, kale, lemon + ginger juice you'd get from a health food joint. To Joe, Lily has a "green juice" vibe because she's slim/healthy/gorpcore/vegetarian/etc. And to me, "bitten lip" evoked this:
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Feminine, submissive, mutely tolerating pain.

I dunno, probably useless to attempt an exegesis of Joe's coombrained ad. No matter what the fuck his "green juice and bitten lip" means, soliciting strangers online to "top" Lily is ghoulish.
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EDIT: Joe posted the above ad on the app Lex on Aug 24, 2021. He and Mallory both posted on Instagram that same day--looks like Joe was headed to CA to meet Lily. He was probably looking for "tops" out there, not in NY. So at least he wasn't trying to schedule the "top"-fest in the apartment with Mallory in the other room.

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Bonus: try to read Joe's caption without vomiting:
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This nasty slob. Ugh.
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It's just so fucking ridiculous, this is not love or longing, this is emotionally stunted and publicising it. Thanks Potatis Salad for linking the dots.
 
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GenderCop said:
i like how these phony radicals always avoid the most working class areas of the USA. only the coasts matter. its their way of bragging that they don't care what the poor folk think of their fancy theories.

then: they pull some socialist-slogan out of their asses to own some poor idiot schlub on twitter.

i really hate these fake lefties who are terrified of the workers, even the tranny workers, which is who would should up to something like this. But Joe only wants to hobknob with coastal trannies, not trannies from Memphis, St. Louis or Atlanta who wait tables for a living. i doubt Mallory could answer a common-sense question like "how do you tolerate a binder for a whole 8 hour shift as a mechanic" since she doesn't know what that is. she is above such concerns.

the reason the world kisses their ass (as a group) is because they are THE ELITES who have chosen to do this to themselves.
Poor black tranny-junkie hookers have always embarrassed them and they have always kept their distance from the lowlife, only taking them out as a playing card/talking point when its time to claim oppression and murder stats, etc.

i hate joe and everybody at berkeley who sucks his limp tranny dick and tells him how great he is.
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Honestly hes just your average obnoxious gay man, insufferable. He's just really pushing his larp of his lady alter . Staying In character must be exhausting

Potatis Salad said:
Even for a professional photo shoot he won't bother to shave. lol.
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Notice he doesn't show us his womanly unshaved legs.
 
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