Trashfire Ethan Ralph vs. Mister Metokur & Gator - It's finally happening

Who did the worse beating?

  • The 14-year-old transgender prostitute in Lisbon.

    Votes: 599 24.8%
  • A Minnesota cancer patient.

    Votes: 1,302 53.8%
  • Mundane "Boulder King" Matt Jarbo.

    Votes: 517 21.4%

  • Total voters
    2,418

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Total aside:

I am really looking forward to names I haven't seen in five years firing up their youtube forges to make bank off Ralph's meltdown.
 
Ralph is going to hang himself if he can find something that will support his massive weight.
To be clear: I gave you a rainbow for this, but I'm not optimistic about Ralph killing himself. (I genuinely hope he doesn't. If he kills himself, he'll stop doing anything, let alone things that we all laugh at.) The optimism was about that second part about Ralphing finding something able to support his massive weight. I don't think that's even physically possible.
 
If there's any lesson to be taken out of all of this, it's the dichotomy between Matt's reaction to getting ripped apart by Jim and Ralph's reaction to getting ripped apart by Jim. Reflection and counseling goes a long way, alcohol does not.
Now, I don't wanna gunt guard, but I'll at least say I'm in the same position as Jim here. I would rather have Ralph stop, put down the bottle, and go see a therapist instead of choosing to burn all his bridges and whine in the face of a bit of criticism.
But he can't, and he probably won't. And as long as he doesn't, that's what makes him a lolcow.
 
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