Grand Jury speculation thread

[Mariposa Electrique]

Chris-Chan in all likelihood will given an award.

FTFY

 

[Optimus Prime]

This is of course a true statement but it also hinges on Chris being able to find stable employment and not get fired over and over. Which is, and was already at the time Bob got him on the tugboat, very doubtful. I can't see 00:s Chris not managing to fuck up a job as a janitor or grocery bagger for instance.

The problem is simply Chris not having any worth ethic. The moment something stops being engaging for him he will drop it instantly and wander off to do something else. He would have to be supervised every waking moment to keep him on task and as we've seen before, when forced to do things Chris will take his frustration out in ways that ultimately bite him in the ass, such as when he was doing eBay medalions and he sent an 'angry eyed' Sonichu to a customer over some minor bullshit, subsequently being forced to make a normal one when the customer filed a complaint against him on eBay for not getting what was promised.

 

[Glowie]

Thread music.
Would use a final version as one last hurrah like Freddy Mercury or David Bowie.

 

[Josterman]

Is anyone going to update the timeline page on the cwcki about the trial since it’s says citation needed

 

[A-№1]

Never say never.

In what possible real world scenario would Chris return to live at 14BLC?

I feel like the government is deliberately dragging this out to keep Chris off the streets as long as possible.

On the contrary, the court is probably doing everything they can to place Chris in a managed care facility as soon as possible and wash their hands of him. But finding a bed in the right sort of home can take a long fucking time.

Also autism.

And laziness. That's Chris ' only real problem. Everything else is used as a lame excuse for the consequences of his laziness. Oh, and it's something Chris chooses to be.

If Chris isn't put in a home and the Homeless Saga goes on uninterrupted

Chris will be placed in a home. The court is legally required to find somewhere for him. Eventually Chris will fuck up at the home, and then he will become homeless.

he's going to last a month before some alcoholic 'nam vet stabs him for creeping him out.

He won't last a week. Remember he couldn't last a night sleeping in a nice, comfy van before stealing from his mother to go to a motel.

Theres no personal holidays in prison.

Chris is in jail, not prison. And technically he's still an innocent man. Technically.

Maybe one of the COs offhandedly wishes him a happy birthday if they tolerate him enough but I doubt it.

He still gets mail. Anyone who wants to send him a birthday card in jail is welcome to do so. You know, just to remind him.
Happy Birthday Chris!

Prisons are institutional facilities under the jurisdiction of the state or federal government where convicted offenders serve longer sentences.

This. Also prison is a term that covers a whole lot of different types of facilities. Everyone thinks Alcatraz when they hear the word "prison", but there are also minimum security facilities for low risk offenders that look more like country clubs to the casual eye. I'm talking tennis courts, swimming pools, golf courses, the works.

Chris isn't going to prison (this time around), but if he were, he wouldn't be dumped into a supermax for violent offenders. He probably wouldn't go to Club Fed either, but he would be sent somewhere relatively tolerable.

Well since it started with bob pretty much unintentionally teaching him of being a larper

Bob did the best he could trying to man up Chris. Barb stymied most of that. Just look at their other children for evidence. Bob's other kids are doctors and academics, whereas the best Barb could manage was Cole (and Cole mostly raised himself).

It's a good thing that Chris is in jail in the mean time, but what does this say about our justice system, where someone who may well be innocent can be held for half a year?

Judging our justice system based on how it treats Chris is like judging PVCC based on Chris' grades.

Chris is a "special" case.

They're more like a destructive three year old

Like I said: evil.

I have seen people speculate that Chris's lawyer is just letting him stay in jail so that if he gets sentenced, he will have his time in jail go towards time served.

Chris is in jail because they literally have nowhere else to put him.

While all true, we’re pushing the “child” part of CP. The law just has to prove it’s a minor for him to catch some charges.

There's a difference between children and jailbait.

The only interest Chris has in children is they're the only people he has a chance of defeating at pokemon card games (and usually not even then). So a scan of Chris' hard drive wouldn't have any pictures of small children, but it might turn up illegal lewds of overly hormonal 16-17 year old jailbait (likely sent to him by weens). However, said 16 year old jailbait would have no difficulty kicking his ass in person, both in terms of pokemon games and savage beatdowns.

The only way Chris goes back to 14BC is to collect any remaining toys that Harriet and Tom didn't throw away, under a police escort.

With all the other, more important things the police have on their plate? Not likely.

A very important amendment to this post is that Chris is the most easily influenced being ever.

He's not that easily influenced. People have been telling Chris to get a job for years.

I don’t think Chris has any truly tacit knowledge of what empathy is.

Chris knows what empathy is. He expects everyone to empathize with him.

Chris wants to fuck women with boobs and vagina.

This.

Unlike normal people, Chris doesn't really see other people as, well, people. In other words, he doesn't actually want to fuck women. He wants to fuck female secondary sexual characteristics, because that's all women really are to him (also mommy figures, but that's a different matter). This is why he fucked his own mother. As horrifying as the idea of sex with Barb is, she still possessed the withered remains of those female secondary sexual characteristics Chris so desires.

Children, being prepubescent, lack those secondary sexual characteristics, so Chris doesn't see them as sexual objects.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

He still gets mail. Anyone who wants to send him a birthday card in jail is welcome to do so. You know, just to remind him.
Happy Birthday Chris!

Actually, you can't. All mail is scanned and shredded, and Chris is delivered printouts of the scans. I don't think paperboard birthday cards work correctly with the machines used to do it. You can send him birthday greetings, or a paper fold-up birthday card that he can assemble himself, provided you send it in the form of normal letter paper that can fit in the scanning machine.

I could be wrong and they might be able to successfully scan the birthday card. Either way he won't actually receive the physical card.

Chris knows what empathy is. He expects everyone to empathize with him.

Unlike normal people, Chris doesn't really see other people as, well, people.

Chris can't empathize with other people, but he tries, in that he does recognize that other people are independent entities, but he isn't able to formulate the concept of another person that isn't based on himself. So in that sense he has empathy, just not empathy for people as they actually exist.

So I wouldn't say he doesn't see other people as non-people, just that he can't understand them except through his own experience. So when someone else behaves in a way that he wouldn't, he can only rationalize it as them having faulty information, or being broken or malicious in some way, because that's the only way he can visualize himself thinking that way.

If you could make a perfect duplicate of Chris, they could empathize well with each other, and their relations would mostly involve arguing facts (whether based in reality or not) for them to reach a consensus.

Normal people (or other abnormal people, really) do not think like Chris, so he can't relate. That doesn't mean he doesn't think they aren't real, or are just automatons, he just thinks they're misinformed, evil, or crazy. His current cope is that he's a deity and thus better in tune with reality, while others lack the insight he has and thus have poorer judgement, which explains why they would disagree with Chris.

If you've ever argued with a flat earther or a biblical literalist creationist, you have a hard time empathizing with them and it takes real work to put yourself in their frame of mind. It's frustrating.

This is the frustration Chris feels in dealing with literally EVERYONE. To him, everyone else is a flat earther.

 

[Mason Verger]

There's a difference between children and jailbait.

The only interest Chris has in children is they're the only people he has a chance of defeating at pokemon card games (and usually not even then). So a scan of Chris' hard drive wouldn't have any pictures of small children, but it might turn up illegal lewds of overly hormonal 16-17 year old jailbait

That’s why they’re called jailbait. They get dipshits like Chris sent to jail all the time. There’s two debates going on here: would Chris go after a teen in person? No, even I don’t think that, and he gets no benefit of the doubt with me anymore. Mainly because he’s a weak coward that’s easily outwitted/outran/overpowered. But on the question of having some illegal jailbait shit on his hard drive and devices that could get thrown into the mix of potential charges? I’d be surprised if their wasn’t something. Hes a hoarder with a porn addiction that goes way back.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

That’s why they’re called jailbait. They get dipshits like Chris sent to jail all the time. There’s two debates going on here: would Chris go after a teen in person? No, even I don’t think that, and he gets no benefit of the doubt with me anymore. Mainly because he’s a weak coward that’s easily outwitted/outran/overpowered. But on the question of having some illegal jailbait shit on his hard drive and devices that could get thrown into the mix of potential charges? I’d be surprised if their wasn’t something. Hes a hoarder with a porn addiction that goes way back.

It's possible a particularly nasty Bluespike-level troll could send Chris real nudes and then report him to try to get him in trouble.

Chris wouldn't be able to find jailbait porn himself as he's not capable of the level of research needed to get it on his own volition. I can't imagine him figuring out how to use the dark web, etc. He barely understands how to find porn online on commercial sites, and still mostly resorted to physical media to feed his addiction.

I'd honestly love to see Chris' google search history. Not for salacious reasons but just to see how fucking retarded his search terms are. He seems like the kind of person who would google google. Or google ebay.com to find ebay.com

 

[A-№1]

Actually, you can't. All mail is scanned and shredded, and Chris is delivered printouts of the scans.

Which is one of the things that makes it so amusing: Chris doesn't even get the actual cards - he only gets black and white xerox copies of the cards.

It's the thought that counts.

I don't think paperboard birthday cards work correctly with the machines used to do it.

Don't send him anything fancy with textures or extra layers or decorations or electronic music boxes etc., but those cost extra anyways, and Chris isn't worth the money. The cheap cards like what you get at dollar stores work just fine. Also don't include any stickers or glitter or extra decoration or messages on the envelope. Just name, address, and postage. No tape either.

The same goes for valentines, for those who are so inclined. Just don't spray them with perfume or whatever.

To him, everyone else is a flat earther.

It's more accurate to say that Chris, himself, is the flat earther, because his is he failure in comprehension. He doesn't comprehend that other people have their own thoughts, motivations, and lives independent to his.

That doesn't change the fact that what Chris actually wants to fuck are female secondary sexual characteristics, not women. He has zero interest in other people as people except where they have something he wants (or are denying him something he wants). Chris was just as willing to fuck the hambeast as Megan. You could probably swap out his partner with a completely different woman mid-coitus and Chris wouldn't care (or likely even notice).

Pedophiles want to fuck children because they are children. Chris doesn't want to fuck children because children don't have anything he wants to fuck. Chris objectifies children in the same way he objectifies everyone (regardless of how you define or measure that objectification); he just doesn't see children as sexual objects any more than he sees men as sexual objects.

They get dipshits like Chris sent to jail all the time.

But that's just it: is someone who gets nailed for 16 year old jailbait that looks and acts like a 19 year old really a pedophile? Or are they just a fuckup?

Chris is definitely a fuckup.

I’d be surprised if their wasn’t something.

But are you willing to sift through terabytes of cartoon ponies looking for it? Besides, Chris' porn collection seem to be mostly DVD's he bought. (Seriously, what sort of loser pays for pornography in the age of the internet? Especially on physical media.) If Chris had any jailbait DVD's, he bought them accidentally.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

But are you willing to sift through terabytes of cartoon ponies looking for it? Besides, Chris' porn collection seem to be mostly DVD's he bought. (Seriously, what sort of loser pays for pornography in the age of the internet? Especially on physical media.) If Chris had any jailbait DVD's, he bought them accidentally.

A legitimate porn store is not going to sell DVDs with actual jailbait, just "naughty schoolgirl costume" porn. There's all the documentation laws that happened after Traci Lords was outed.

 

[A-№1]

A legitimate porn store is not going to sell DVDs with actual jailbait,

I'm assuming he'd have bought them over the internet, and the online store itself didn't know what they were selling. Like I said: accidentally.

Chris wouldn't seek out jailbait porn, and the store definitely doesn't want to sell it, so any underage porn Chris might hypothetically have bought would be completely unintentional all around. A total fluke.

That said, I can totally see weens sending him jailbait porn. Of course they, themselves would likely also get busted for sending it, but weens tend to be stupid that way.

 

[Paradigm]

I'm retarded and don't know how anything works, but when Chris eventually gets sentenced all this time he's spent in prison already gets subtracted from his term as time served, right?

 

[Pointless Sperg]

I'm retarded and don't know how anything works, but when Chris eventually gets sentenced all this time he's spent in prison already gets subtracted from his term as time served, right?

238th explanation of same thing:

Chris is not in prison. He is in jail. Yes, he gets credit for the time he has spent in jail, just like everyone else does. Think of it like paying your bills ahead of time.

 

[JanuaryViolet]

238th explanation of same thing:

Chris is not in prison. He is in jail. Yes, he gets credit for the time he has spent in jail, just like everyone else does. Think of it like paying your bills ahead of time.

You beat me to it.

 

[A-№1]

238th explanation of same thing:

We REALLY need a JailFAQ page instead of answering the same questions / suppositions over and over and over. Didn't someone volunteer to write one?

 

[Skitterways]

We REALLY need a JailFAQ page instead of answering the same questions / suppositions over and over and over. Didn't someone volunteer to write one?

A JailFAQ page is a great idea. I have a question for it:

Why is all mail scanned and shredded? I understand it being opened, read, inspected for contraband, etc. Was there a specific incident where somebody's stationary was infused something?

 

[Ophelia]

Was there a specific incident where somebody's stationary was infused something?

Sometimes inmates receive paper infused with drugs. This is a standard practice.

 

[DonaldJTrump]

i think he’ll get the same thing tht happened to Zazef, he’ll get probation and lifetime sex offender registry

 

[mouth breather]

Is there like a maximum for the times the hearing can be postponed or can this go on for years?
Was a reason provided for why it was postponed again? I recall the first time it was because Chris' lawyer needed more time to get a mental health diagnosis done for Chris.

 

[Anne Hyroe]

Is there like a maximum for the times the hearing can be postponed or can this go on for years?
Was a reason provided for why it was postponed again? I recall the first time it was because Chris' lawyer needed more time to get a mental health diagnosis done for Chris.

Take a look at the Mercedes Carrera thread for the answer to your first question; though I’m not sure why Chris’ legal team would be so keen to waive a speedy trial.