Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[OttoWest]

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She expects people to believe Bowie can read the IG comments?

She also expects them to believe he doesn’t have an IG despite the numerous times she’s linked to it.

 

[ADHD]

She also expects them to believe he doesn’t have an IG despite the numerous times she’s linked to it.

I'd actually be willing to give her that one on the technicality that I'm sure he had nothing to do with making or posting on the account. (At least, I sure hope not).

 

[multiverse]

I'd actually be willing to give her that one on the technicality that I'm sure he had nothing to do with making or posting on the account. (At least, I sure hope not).

Correct. I assume she means that he has no phone with the app installed, nor any access to the account she created in his name. So in her mind, he doesn't have instagram - both accounts are "hers".

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

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She expects people to believe Bowie can read the IG comments?

Kid can barely speak lol.

 

[Oscar Winner]

That post about Bowie eating pop tarts and the insta comment has two more slides that I haven't seen here yet. Tess has included a quick video of Bowie eating shredded carrot from a bag and an “Uncrustable”, third slide is just confirming she really is butt mad.

She's got two video slides in her stories where she's reading comments to Bowie and making him say thank you to everyone

Lastly, I noticed a new post where she's shilling vibrators again. At least there's a few days before Vday for people to get over their nausea. Don't zoom in too close on her nipples (or do...)

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

Arm gunt.

 

[Oscar Winner]

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Arm gunt.

Girl is growing another THIS ASS

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

That post about Bowie eating pop tarts and the insta comment has two more slides that I haven't seen here yet. Tess has included a quick video of Bowie eating shredded carrot from a bag and an “Uncrustable”, third slide is just confirming she really is butt mad.

She's got two video slides in her stories where she's reading comments to Bowie and making him say thank you to everyone

Lastly, I noticed a new post where she's shilling vibrators again. At least there's a few days before Vday for people to get over their nausea. Don't zoom in too close on her nipples (or do...)

She deleted the vibrator ad already??? Her face is trying to emote but her eyes are dead. Plus the arm ass, that pic is truly one of her better super model offerings. It's a shame she got rid of it.

 

[Behelit Boy xddxxddd]

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Arm gunt.

Wonder how much she can lift with those guns.

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

No Tess, being in California doesn't make you a 'slide girl.' Being an obese wildebeest who can't lace her own shoes or squeeze her trotters into heels anymore makes you a 'slide girl'. Most people I know in California (and most people I saw when I was there recently) don't gravitate to slides. I saw WAY more crocs and tennis shoes than slides.

Try again, Tessy Tubbo. And less filters to the face, please. Your facial dimension shifts are playing havoc with my eyeballs. Still.

 

[Oscar Winner]

She deleted the vibrator ad already??? Her face is trying to emote but her eyes are dead. Plus the arm ass, that pic is truly one of her better super model offerings. It's a shame she got rid of it.

I just checked and I can still see it. Had a quick peek at the comments while I was there. Some people are not happy. Some others should save their snark for here, where they won't get deleted

 

[blue gopher snakes]

No Tess, being in California doesn't make you a 'slide girl.' Being an obese wildebeest who can't lace her own shoes or squeeze her trotters into heels anymore makes you a 'slide girl'. Most people I know in California (and most people I saw when I was there recently) don't gravitate to slides. I saw WAY more crocs and tennis shoes than slides.

Try again, Tessy Tubbo. And less filters to the face, please. Your facial dimension shifts are playing havoc with my eyeballs. Still.

Friendly neighborhood resident of the People’s GayPublic of Drugafornia weighing in:

She’s hot all the time because she weighs 1000 pounds. Of course she’s wearing slides. Inside her swampy body, it’s the dog days of summer all year round. Also you can, well, SLIDE ‘em on, which Ryann needs because she cannot possibly bend down to put shoes on at this point.

Meanwhile us real thinbloods on the coast are still wearing Uggs because it’s fucking February. Once it’s summer (so in like 3 weeks), it’ll be rainbow sandals and Vans. Slides *are* kind of ubiquitous but they are considered trashy, like what you’d throw on with socks and sweatpants to go get your Target drive-up order. They’re also popular for post-workout footwear. I’d say Tess likes em because of the pressure point massage-y soles except we all know she can’t feel her feet anymore anyway.

 

[Constellationzero]

Don't forget, she has to wear prison issue shower shoes because she needs to accommodate her bizarre piggy toe splay all while mitigating/minimizing the smell. Because you know, I know, and the Solar System knows, that reflexive gag that hits your throat anytime a pachyderm like Ryan Hooves gets them dainty feetz out is nothing short of crippling.

 

[Meiwaku]

Don't forget, she has to wear prison issue shower shoes because she needs to accommodate her bizarre piggy toe splay all while mitigating/minimizing the smell. Because you know, I know, and the Solar System knows, that reflexive gag that hits your throat anytime a pachyderm like Ryan Hooves gets them dainty feetz out is nothing short of crippling.

Mild Full Sperg on How Feet/Walking SHOULD Look & How Deathfats ( and normies) Fuck Up Their Body With Improper Movement.

fig 0: tribal person who never wears shoes and is of a healthy weight compared to modern toe boxes, compared to a baby's feet. Essentially, the foot forms to the shoe in most modern shoes as opposed to the shoe to the foot causing a litany of issues.
The foot is a complex structure that consists of 26 bones, 33 joints, and over 100 muscles, tendons, and ligaments. The big toe and ball of the heel is made for balancing your weight out. As you can see, you should have some toe splay and width inbetween (note the image above is without weight on the foot thus it looks smaller).


Fig 0.5 Our gorl Tess and her fucked up feet this was a way skinnier image mind you and it's gotten worse over time. Note how the shoes never fit her lol.
A lot of people, especially women, have foot problems from how shoes deform feet which causes bunions, hammer toes, etc. It can also harm or cause arch issues to rely on artificial foot support because you're weakening the muscles by not engaging them in stride. The solution for feet issues like bunions or hammer toes is to often wear a gel spacer to restore the natural position of the feet. Many people think they can get along fine in modern shoes as long as you wear the correct size and don't shove yourself into heels daily or toe boxes too small. I'm looking at you, ladies. because modern shoes are somewhat designed to fix the problems they cause with our gait by overly cushioning the heels instead of using proper posture to walk. That's not how we were meant to move though:

fig 1: ideal tripod distribution of weight as seen from below

fig 2: view from side and top of the three points
The foot has THREE arches that it balances itself on and three main points of contact. This is achieved through some splay to balance the body. Below, I explain it in detail on how people should be walking:

fig 3. the contacts and how one should walk with a more forward stride as opposed to heel to toe.
The contact points end up on the outside edge of the ball of the big toe, the outside of the last toe, and the heel (shown in blue). When walking you first should hit contact with the outer edge of the last metatarsal (last toe), the ball of the big toe, and finally the heel.


Fig 3.5 Normal feet shapes on what I'm assuming are not Deathfats
There are many types of feet out there just like their are body types. However, all death fats tend to develop the same overpronated (turned out and flat foot that is highly splayed) So to keep it simple, in a normie this looks like this:

Fig 4:Chad natural foot vs Virgin shoe note the gap between the big toe. There are also the contact points which differ

Fig 5:Barefoot runner who uses minimalist shoeing which allows for natural foot posture and flexibility. The size of the shoe compared to the size of the foot is evident. Our death fats are notorious for not wearing wide enough shoes or shoes that allow engagement of the foot muscles.

The foot is built as a flexible shock absorption device that has survived millions of years only for us to now put it at its limits with ham planeting. So the healthy foot is a gentle splay where your big toe holds itself out more. Depending upon the shape of foot you have naturally, this will vary in look the foot's job is to support your mass. A larger splay on a smaller person is likely just literal genetics compared to a larger toe splay on our gorls (and Nick and Jazz) in our beloved Death Fats thread.



Fig 6 and 7 Tess circa the "sample size" shoot and her Islamic bath pic where you can truly see the white trash come out.

As stated in the introduction, the foot is a complex structure that consists of 26 bones, 33 joints, and over 100 muscles, tendons, and ligaments. These are expected to hold you up and for to support your spread metatarsal bones or walk incorrectly/ on very hard surfaces (humans feet were developed to walk on softer ground not concrete or tile), or wear shit tier improperly fitting shoes you can experience a drop in these bones which causes the arch to fall.


Fig 8The hooves, note her fallen arches and how flat they are, she often does her "one leg up" pose over her other leg to hide her girth as well as her nasty ass feet. and make them look "thinner".

This is "flat foot". While this is fixable with foot strengthening exercises and proper shoeing (aka minimalist usually), it obviously becomes an issue if you weigh 450-500... sorry "300" pounds... and can't put your feet in normal position on your body anymore or are too fucking lazy to do it.

fig 8, The heel bulge of Tess that is weird


Fig 9 fat pad atrophy vs normal foot

On top of flat feet I also noticed this heel protrusion that' gives her the fat girl club foot. My speculation is that this is from Fig 8. As described earlier and seen in in fig 1-3, we have 3 arches and contact points on our feet. ALL of these have a fat pads to help cushion our fall. In the elderly, the SEVERLY OBESE or PEOPLE WHO FREQUENTLY WEAR HEELS these fat pads wear down.

Fig 10 and 11 her shoe choices of copium for the inevitable heel pain

Fig 12. hyper pronation, bulging of her feet and her natural stance indicating a weak foot strength
My thesis is supported by looking at her immensely heavily heeled shoes (never mind the crocs) which basically are not doing much other than temporary relief of her likely foot issue (sans weight issue).

Great video explaining proper walking/running:

Longer Version That I HIGHLY Rec Watching;

The whole video that explains how you should be walking to not hurt yourself/fix any issues you may have in your feet/legs/back. Trust me it's worth the watch. He's very scientific in his explanation so I'm trying to simplify it ITT for non STEM spergs. . For anyone who is able to still see their feet, this should be the standard and for anyone unable to they should try their best to not do heel walking because of shock absorption to your already deathfat body. It also helps engage atrophied (smaller) muscles in your body that are not engaged during your daily fridge runs.

fig 13. The inevitability of being FAT and also naturally aging
Engaging these joints and ligaments becomes even more essential in Deathfats because it not only helps your feet but fixes posture in you knees, back, and hips. When you are already limited in mobility out of gluttony or other issues, every step counts. While we are supposed to take 10,000 steps a day of me I know this is a lot of chances to fuck yourself further or do better.



fig 14-16. The dainty pose vs the deathfat duck walk
Fig 14 is pure copium because of how she actually stands and the fact that this image is OLD given her size yet posted semi-recently . You can see her fat straining and her pointing her toes inward to appear "dainty" the image on the right is wayyyy older and you can see that she had to kind of duck walk because of her size and that her wide feet.

Thus I propose a controversial solution besides learning to walk differently and not wearing heels/hyper copium support shoes:

Spoiler: Other videos/ citations

http://barefootrunning.fas.harvard.edu/5BarefootRunning&TrainingTips.html

 

[Cranky Old Broad]

Meiwaku, I can‘t quote your post but is the “proper” gait as described in the video something like how you see dancers move, especially in ballet? And wouldn’t trying to re-learn one’s gait cause problems with the joints, specifically the knees?

Tess’ toe splay is something I never noticed until it was pointed out in this thread and it freaks me the heck out.

 

[Gay Mouth]

SEMI NINJA'D, dayum. was about to post her abhorrent shoes over the years.

Her mass has limited her footwear selection to crocs, clogs, slip-ons, mules, and going barefoot in public.

Spoiler: A waddle down memory lane

 

[NoReturn]

The vibrator post is "back"

 

[Smiling Honeybadger]

The vibrator post is "back"
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This thing looks so unsettlingly tiny. Just the right size to go lost... Somewhere. Ending up in a visit from a livestock veterinary, who has to wear one of these long rubber gloves that go up to the shoulders, all lubed up to retrieve that thing from Tess' somewhere.

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

The jokes write themselves at this point.

 

[NoReturn]

This thing looks so unsettlingly tiny. Just the right size to go lost... Somewhere. Ending up in a visit from a livestock veterinary, who has to wear one of these long rubber gloves that go up to the shoulders, all lubed up to retrieve that thing from Tess' somewhere.

That one is one that was made in collaboration with Buzzfeed.

Make of that what thou wilt.