4/2/2022 - Guntfest - Killstream KingPin - Ralph's Bowling Tournament - Gunt hosted a Bowling Tournament in Dallas, TX on April 2th.

[Lobster Cult High Priest]

Even his Arab slave Dingo won't be attending. At this point, Ralph should just invite the aylawgs. At least some of us would actually show up.

Wasn’t dingo saying that the weekend of the event is one of his family members birthdays.

Watch Dingo try to beg his wife to let him skip her birthday to attend this white trash wedding or god forbid Dingo decides to bring his wife on a romantic getaway to the Niggerified part of Plano Texas

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Watch Dingo try to beg his wife to let him skip her birthday to attend this white trash wedding or god forbid Dingo decides to bring his wife on a romantic getaway to the Niggerified part of Plano Texas

Well, Meigh needs a matron of honor and she has zero friends. Who else is it going to be — Alice?

 

[Hüftpriester]

Wasn’t dingo saying that the weekend of the event is one of his family members birthdays.

Watch Dingo try to beg his wife to let him skip her birthday to attend this white trash wedding or god forbid Dingo decides to bring his wife on a romantic getaway to the Niggerified part of Plano Texas

IIRC, Dingo was saying he wouldn't be able to make it before Ralph told him the wedding would be part of the event. I think you're right on the second point, Dingo will bring his wife. Especially if he's under the impression that he'll be the new co-host of the Kill Report now that all other bridges have been burned. There's no way he'd let his mensch Ethan Ralph have his wedding without any friends in attendance.

Just remember Dingo, Ralph doesn't pay his co-hosts. The bank is going to foreclose on your broke ass and the Gunt will ignore you when you whine about it on his show, just like he's done in the past.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Well, Meigh needs a matron of honor and she has zero friends. Who else is it going to be — Alice?

Weird tradition where Alice is going to hold up the gunt for May to perform her wifely duties

 

[UCantCCPMe]

Well, Meigh needs a matron of honor and she has zero friends. Who else is it going to be — Alice?

It's Texas. I'm sure there will be at least 1 trailor park trashy skank who smells like hairspray and cigarettes that they convince to leave her 3 kids at the bar long enough to stand there while preggers pedo mom gets hitched to the oinking hog groom. They might have to bribe her with a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon, but that's a small price to pay for such a luxurious ceremony.

 

[Easterling]

Ralph is staight up getting kids birthday parties confused with weddings? truly this is the most bizzare timeline.

 

[hawkisnight]

Let's be honest no matter what their wedding would be ayylags would laugh but how the fuck does gunt pick the funniest option every time
I hope they will have paper plates for those fries and meat with ketchup to celebrate little piggy heritage.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Really what better way is there to own the a-lawgs than dragging your heavily pregnant fiancee across the country to get married in a shitty bowling alley?

Will they bother with a wedding dress or is Pantsu gonna wear some crop top to show off her belly while Ethan shows off his gunt in turn?

I don't think Pantsu's gonna be able to fly when that pregnant too, so hope she's ready for an 18 hour roadtrip.

The actual baby should suffice as proof far better than humiliating May with a bowling alley wedding weeks before she has a baby.

Usually in these situations the couple gets married early in the pregnancy before she’s hugely pregnant or wait till after the baby is born. Ralph wants to make sure May knows she’s trash and this is all she deserves.

I know the opinions range widely but I think Ralph is pissed she got knocked up but there wasn’t much he could do about it. Ralph pretends every L is a W after all. He was at least happy to use it as a taunt with the Vickers.

But now reality is setting in and the due date is nearing. May is fucking up all his grand plans with this BS baby stuff. It’s easy the first seven months because it didn’t really change anything for the Gunt but now that’s changing in a big way. He knows he’s fucked.

He can’t stand being at home with just May, May plus a newborn? Ralph is going to end up in jail before June. He’s spiraling so hard it’s crazy, I figured he’d be this bad off after the baby was born but he managed to get this low while shit was still relatively easy and stress free as far as the domestic shit goes.

 

[PhoBingas]

IIRC, Dingo was saying he wouldn't be able to make it before Ralph told him the wedding would be part of the event. I think you're right on the second point, Dingo will bring his wife. Especially if he's under the impression that he'll be the new co-host of the Kill Report now that all other bridges have been burned. There's no way he'd let his mensch Ethan Ralph have his wedding without any friends in attendance.

Just remember Dingo, Ralph doesn't pay his co-hosts. The bank is going to foreclose on your broke ass and the Gunt will ignore you when you whine about it on his show, just like he's done in the past.

I'm not sure Ralph and Dingo are still a thing. The other day Dingo was on Rand's stream talking shit about Ralph.

 

[Hüftpriester]

I'm not sure Ralph and Dingo are still a thing. The other day Dingo was on Rand's stream talking shit about Ralph.

I was listening to that too. But the next day Dingo was on tequila sunrise with Ralph pretending nothing happened. I think for now Ralph will let the swarthy bastard play both sides, as long as he licks the Gunt grease while he's on the Kill Report.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

This is straight up middle school girl shit, all these coalitions and behind the back bitching. These are literal girls.

 

[Earthworm Foucault]

I have spent a good five minutes laughing imagining the trashiness of the Ethan Ralph hick shotgun wedding.

He is going to a fucking bowling alley, dragging his 9 month pregnant across the country in his Hot Wheels truck, in his white CPAC suit ( refusing to take off his wigger baseball cap throughout), his gunt spread wider than Meigh's pregnant belly, as she proudly shows off her $100 pawn shop ring. She will be forbidden from wearing heels so that she doesn't height-mogg him even further in the wedding photos. The ceremony will be conducted by a black E-celebrity, surrounded by sub-90 IQ killstream paypigs, everyone drinking Bud Lights out of plastic cups.. Ralph will already be shitfaced before he even walks up the aisle, with vows that he will later publish on his tumblr blog and will probably reference the evil A-lawgz. He won't even be able to hide his disdain for Pantsu on the wedding day, and will either get into a fight or try having an affair on the day. The first dance will be to a white trash country song, he will awkwardly hobble along to it, staggering from the liters of whisky in his system, soaked up by the numerous gas station snacks provided in lieu of a wedding buffet, trying desperately to avoid brushing with Pantsu's moustache.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

This will still be classier and less white trash of an event than Ralph and May’s wedding at a bowling alley

 

[Wazzupnerds]

This will still be classier and less white trash of an event than Ralph and May’s wedding at a bowling alley

lol she was heading to the courthouse that day for a divorce

 

[Laquisha Guntermensch]

Let's be honest no matter what their wedding would be ayylags would laugh but how the fuck does gunt pick the funniest option every time
I hope they will have paper plates for those fries and meat with ketchup to celebrate little piggy heritage.

Paper plates are fine, but no ketchup at this party. PLAIN BEEF is served at the Kang's wedding, sir.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Ralph is staight up getting kids birthday parties confused with weddings? truly this is the most bizzare timeline.

Ralph has never been invited to a wedding he doesn't have any friends. Makes sense he'd have no idea what's supposed to happen.

 

[Fannyscum]

Ralph has never been invited to a wedding he doesn't have any friends. Makes sense he'd have no idea what's supposed to happen.

He has been to at least one wedding before - he married his bong paki in the woods. He wore two shirts to contain the Gunt, as is tradition. Somehow his second wedding is going to be exponentially less classy than this fucking horrorshow:

 

[Jaded Optimist]

She will be forbidden from wearing heels so that she doesn't height-mogg him

They will both have to be in rental bowling shoes.

 

[MeltyTW]

This is straight up middle school girl shit, all these coalitions and behind the back bitching. These are literal girls.

Little girls have more test when confronting one a other lol

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

He has been to at least one wedding before - he married his bong paki in the woods. He wore two shirts to contain the Gunt, as is tradition. Somehow his second wedding is going to be exponentially less classy than this fucking horrorshow:
View attachment 2975212

Nah, this was downright classy compared to the impending Bowling for Dollaz wedding. Look there’s hope and happiness in the Gunt’s eyes.

Divorce was the best thing for Nora’s life and the worst for Ralph’s.