She fucked up in the sense that her opsec was poor, but the overreaction that followed is hardly equivalent for such a simple screw-up. Vtubers are character-actors and gachikoi need to get it through their thick skulls that the image on the screen isn't the person behind the mask. Even if she was playing up the GFE, so what? That's still part of an act that's being broadcast to thousands and anyone who seriously thought they stood a chance against the other fans just because they bought more merch is delusional and narcissistic. The talent doesn't need to be blamed for fact that parasocial relationships are what they are.
I just hope that one day we can have an entertainment industry that tells these fanatics to fuck off, but unfortunately taking advantage of the weak-minded is always going to be tempting, even if it is playing with fire in a way.