Ralph's Health & Mental Health - Ethan Ralph is allegedly in a coma according to some career a-log.

[GuntN7]

I don't know how da gunt does it. I eat a burger, fries and onion rings, and feel like throwing up like a dog while this 4 pair of asses glued up together can chug them like nothing with Maker's Mark and coke.

 

[TriggerMeElmo]

One word:

TERMINAL

 

[Victim2988]

I have read about the broken eye socket and the missing tooth, but it seems to me that his nose is also broken and displaced, can somebody confirm?

 

[Johnny Doxville]

I have read about the broken eye socket and the missing tooth, but it seems to me that his nose is also broken and displaced, can somebody confirm?

It's mainly been speculation in the Portugal thread, but without showing PL I know a broke nose when I see one and that looks especially like a broken nose.

Look at the pity party selfie the bridge of the pigs nose looks misaligned and swolen

 

[Gravityqueen4life]

his gonna take the same route lowtax did so i give him, 10 years. tops.

 

[NynchLiggers]

his gonna take the same route lowtax did so i give him, 10 years. tops.

He already was a pillhead before this happened. He mixed liquor with xanax and definitively uses cocaine (Pillstream). Ade claimed that he didn't eat as much as you would expect from someone as fat as Gunt, so the alcoholism is the prime factor contributing to his obesity.

But no, I don't think Gunt's ego and wigger lack of shame would allow him to do a shotgun blowjob like LowT, the most likely outcomes are acidental OD or dying after a cop shoots him while he chimpouts or he makes someone angry enough that they pull a gun/knife.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Given that Ralph most likely has a host of health issues he hasn’t revealed but speculated on, what are his chances of death dying in surgery to repair his orbital fracture?

We could also be looking forward to a chance of Ralph dying of sepsis if he blows his nose post surgery and sends large amounts of bacteria into the wound or tears stitches.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

He already was a pillhead before this happened. He mixed liquor with xanax and definitively uses cocaine (Pillstream). Ade claimed that he didn't eat as much as you would expect from someone as fat as Gunt, so the alcoholism is the prime factor contributing to his obesity.

But no, I don't think Gunt's ego and wigger lack of shame would allow him to do a shotgun blowjob like LowT, the most likely outcomes are acidental OD or dying after a cop shoots him while he chimpouts or he makes someone angry enough that they pull a gun/knife.

The reason Adrienne didn’t see Ralph eat as much was because he was stealing and eating her adderall (aka legal speed). He was also probably slightly nervous and trying to not look like a complete gross fat slob in front of the new e-girlfriend he was meeting for the first time IRL. If I’m not mistaken most of their relationship was online. At one point Adrienne drove down to Ralph’s mom’s house, picked him up and took him back to MI to stay at her place for a week or two. I believe that was the most time they actually spent together IRL.

Ralph certainly drinks a lot of calories but he eats piles of garbage food every day too. What was that sandwich he posted with bananas, peanut butter, maple syrup and M&Ms? It was a stomach turning sugar abomination that only a morbidly obese man used to a total garbage diet of sugar and grease could ever consume. It would make any normal person vomit after two bites.

If Ralph doesn’t die in a car wreck or from an OD, he will just rot from a heart attack, diabetes or kidney or liver failure. His mom’s kidneys failed so he might have a genetic predisposition to that.

He’s in atrocious shape for a man of 36 and has done damage that can’t be reversed even if tomorrow he magically transformed into a health nut that exercised daily. White trash like Ralph used to live longer with bad habits because they weren’t fat and remained physically active. Ralph is fat as fuck and entirely sedentary so his bad habits do even more damage.

If he doesn’t get taken out by an OD, heart attack or accident he will be the disgusting fat guy in a wheelchair missing a foot and with big, non-healing sores all over his legs by 42.

I do believe his recent beating might put him on a opiate addiction spiral that will see if he can die or go totally broke/homeless first.

 

[Retrodogkiller]

Ralph is most likely to die in accident caused by his own stupidity and pig headedness. So it kinda makes it hard to pin a life expectancy down. But given his recent heart attack, we can make an educated guess on when the next one might happen, and I think that one has a good chance to kill him.

A second heart attack usually occurs within 5 years of the first. Now heart attacks aren't the death sentence they used to be but that's because we know how to treat and prevent them. Prevention and risk reduction requires changes to be made though. Specifically losing weight, eating healthy, exercising, and consuming alcohol like a normal person would. Ralph has made zero changes to his shitty lifestyle. The next heart attack might be his last. That is if he doesn't drive his truck into the ocean while reading the forums.

 

[Sam Losco]

To update this thread...
As alluded to in the few posts before this, Ralph got his ass beat in an alleged mugging in Portugal on Jan 26/27:

T | A

He had to have surgery:

T | A

Post surgery:


Known short term issues:

• Both eyes swollen and black
• Whole face swollen

Known short to long term issues:

• Broken nose. Could be long term if it fucked up his septum, which is almost a certainty.
• Orbital bone damage that required surgery in Portugal.
• Certainly a concussion. Not asserted by Ralph, but I can't imagine he got through that beating without one.

Unknown if there is any damage to the rest of his body or if they just focused on fucking up his face.

Long term effects remain to be seen.
On the lookout for:

• PTSD
• Missing teeth.
• Brain damage from a concussion beyond his already shit personality.

One thing is for certain already, this has not knocked any sense into him and he remains an arrogant dipshit.

 

[Victim2988]

I would guess that the mid/long term physical effects will be : facial neuralgia, reduced eyesight, breathing difficulties, recurrent headaches.

 

[Banana Hammock]

You know what, I was just thinking the other day that Ralph might be dying. Burying himself in his vices (alcohol, gambling, and maybe hard drugs, based off of what some people have said), ensuring his legacy (having as many children as he can), burning bridges with pretty much everyone, and the 20k words or whatever that he wrote about how afraid Jim is of dying (probably projection).

 

[UCantCCPMe]

At the rate of which Ralph is guzzling down liquor and wolfing down greasy food, I'd give him 2 years tops. Between the trauma his body has already been through after the car wreck and getting beaten to a pulp in Portugal, his shit diet and sedentary lifestyle, his excessive drinking and drug use and the immense amount of stress he'll already dealing with, soon to be exponentially multiplied by a new baby, Ralph is due for a pine box sooner than later.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Ralph is going to make it to 49. He's too stubborn to die sooner and where he's very unlucky most of the time he has the devils luck when it comes to surviving. At the same time there's part of me that Ralph, at the age of 49 will start mocking any of his enemies who died saying, "Ahm gonna be fifty years old you fuckers! These fuckers said it would never happen but ahm still the best in the sector! You're the ones who are going to die!" Then he'll get hit by a crashed weather satellite a week before his birthday.

 

[Christorian X]

Thought people might find this interesting. Easy to read graphs from the NIH addressing the relationship to BMI (Body Mass Index) and negative health issues. A normal, healthy BMI should be between 18 and 24. Assuming Ralph is 5'6" and around 300lbs, his BMI is around 49. He's essentially half fat. Check out the charts below to see how likely he is to develop any number of horrible health problems.

BMI Health Charts

 

[There Is Light At The End]

Thought people might find this interesting. Easy to read graphs from the NIH addressing the relationship to BMI (Body Mass Index) and negative health issues. A normal, healthy BMI should be between 18 and 24. Assuming Ralph is 5'6" and around 300lbs, his BMI is around 49. He's essentially half fat. Check out the charts below to see how likely he is to develop any number of horrible health problems.

BMI Health Charts

So either beetus or heart attack. Exactly as I predicted. Fun fact, only people who will miss him are on Gunt subforum

 

[UCantCCPMe]

So either beetus or heart attack. Exactly as I predicted. Fun fact, only people who will miss him are on Gunt subforum

I'll do Ethan a solid and open up a subreddit in his honor after he's gone home to that big crack shack in the sky. I'll call it r/Retorted

 

[MG-34]

For anyone that thinks Ralph is a death's door I reccomend you research comedian Artie Lange. He's a former cohost for the Howard Stern show that had a similar fall from grace. Despite crippling cocaine, heroin, alcohol and prostitution addtions, Lange has lived past all expectations.

 

[Christorian X]

For anyone that thinks Ralph is a death's door I reccomend you research comedian Artie Lange. He's a former cohost for the Howard Stern show that had a similar fall from grace. Despite crippling cocaine, heroin, alcohol and prostitution addtions, Lange has lived past all expectations.

You make a solid point here. I'm not betting Ralph dies in the very near future but from what we can see I do think his health may be much worse than Lang.

Lang was still in shape enough to regularly be on stage .any evenings and do a full set. Any comedian will tell you that requires much more physical effort than it appears. Secondly Lang's taller than Gunt and from just a visual estimate has a lower BMI.

These two things are really important. Increase BMI is exponentially more damaging as it increases. Secondly, being sedate is considered medically dangerous long term. Ralph spends his day in a chair. Between moving from the bed to the chair is along walk for him it seems. This can heavily weaken a heart.

Finally he's already had a heart attack at 36. Thats a big fucking deal. Every heart attack permanently weakens the heart.

While Lang has aggressively attacked his body, he may simply be a genetic lottery winner. I wouldn't count piggy in that club.

I certainly don't think he will drop dead in the immediate future but stress on the heart ages a body very fast. By 32 he was already going grey. There is a reason you see fewer and fewer fat people as you look at people in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. The odds stack higher and higher every year someone like Ralph stays alive.

 

[Johnny Clyde Cash]

Thought people might find this interesting. Easy to read graphs from the NIH addressing the relationship to BMI (Body Mass Index) and negative health issues. A normal, healthy BMI should be between 18 and 24. Assuming Ralph is 5'6" and around 300lbs, his BMI is around 49. He's essentially half fat. Check out the charts below to see how likely he is to develop any number of horrible health problems.

BMI Health Charts

He might even be more fat when you consider that Ralph never exercises and works a sedantary job, so his muscle mass is probably far below average.

It's funny...most people point to BMI not being reliable because it marks high-performance athletes as being obese due to the weight of their pure muscle mass. Meanwhile Ralph is such a completely out-of-shape fat fuck that his already awful BMI is probably being generous to him in terms of how unhealthy he actually is.