Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[Windows 10 Upgrade]

If you were constantly mistaken for an elderly caretaker of an adult with Down syndrome you would also feel depressed.

I haven’t read anyone in TERF twitter talk about joe’s book. There might be something in it that would cause outrage but it’s simply too boring for anyone to skim through.

There's just no part in it where he even ATTEMPTS to pass and skinwalk, he's like the fucking clown car taxi driver that you wouldn't actually ask seriously backstage of the circus tent "are you perchance a REAL taxi driver?"

In a more enlightened age he'd have accepted he was just doing drag and we would have a good old chortle, but these days drag queens are expected to identify as female because they break kafabe too much. I wonder if anyone can be a garden variety transvestite now? Must all these quirks and fetishes be considered a "female experience"?

 

[aanoo]

The book is on Z Library...

 

[Treasure Champs]

The book is on Z Library...

My finger hit my nose so fast. Not it. Who has a strong stomach that we can delegate to this most thankless of tasks?

 

[Mealy Mouth Spittle]

So your contention is that Mallory, specifically, is not competent to make her own decisions?

You laid the lezbo smarm on so thick I think your point got lost in there.

People, even reasonably smart people, can be manipulated by narcs who prey on their weaknesses. But, even if you think Mallory got what she fucking deserved, things playing out like this would be hilarious. Maybe even more so if she deliberately lied and played the victim to take him down. It would be Joe getting out narced by someone. I would laugh my ass off. I'd much rather see her go full wrath of a scorned woman than watch her disintegrate into a pile of self-loathing and regret while Joe replaces his narc supply with fresh meat.
Both Joe and Mallory might be shitty people, but Joe is by far the bigger turd. And Joe becoming irrelevant and a laughingstock would be a worse fate than death for him. This fantasy is not likely to happen given current-day sensibilities, but it sure would be fun to watch if it did.

 

[aanoo]

My finger hit my nose so fast. Not it. Who has a strong stomach that we can delegate to this most thankless of tasks?

I'm skimming it but it's incomprehensible garbage. All the sex scenes are really weird. Also Joe has gout.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

My finger hit my nose so fast. Not it. Who has a strong stomach that we can delegate to this most thankless of tasks?

I have plenty of strong booze - 100 proof quince brandy distilled from my own fruit - but my reading comprehension would be seriously impaired by the amount required to keep my sanity, especially when dealing with this kind of pseudointellectual babble.
What a dilemma, oy vey.

Anyway, I've downloaded the book and might start reading it on Friday.

 

[lady stoneheart]

i’m late but seriously what the hell is happening to her face here? is this the result of botched photoshop or bad lighting? bad makeup? weird FtM facial hair? has she lost some teeth perhaps and it’s warping her face? botched chin implant?

anyway i don’t have much else to contribute today except that Joe somehow still looks worse than this. he looks like an overcooked gyoza that got dropped on the floor and covered in dog hair. i believe it goes without saying that i would not have sex with either of them

 

[aanoo]

Someone else has to suffer through this sex scene.

Spoiler: Yes this is about Joe's taint

Danny and Grace, in an intimate moment.
"Put your hand there. Can you feel that?"
"Uh-"
"Can you feel it, it's warm."
"I- I'm not sure what I'm feeling for."
"There's a cavity. It's warm and it's stretching."
"I can feel the skin, and a bump-"
"Let me push with you"
"Help me"
"Let me push your hand in"
"Help me baby"
"There, can you feel that? You're inside your own body"
"Baby I can't feel it, I can't-"
"Your pussy, baby"
"Baby I can't feel it, it's dead to me, I'm dead"
"Can you feel it when I push you there?
"I don't know"
"Can you feel when I push you there baby?"
"I, uh, I-"
"There you are."
"I'm not sure"
"There you are, you can feel that can't you"
"I don't know"
"Baby can you feel when my hand pushes in your lips"
"Show me"
"Your lips are outside here, around the outside"
"Mn"
"You can feel that?"
"Mnnn, no I don't-"
"I know you can feel that, I don't know why you're pretending, you minx"
"I don't-"
"You're being a withholding cunt"
"Mn, good, yes"
"Do you like it when I call you a cunt"
"Stop it, just do it, don't make such a fuss about it"
"Shut up, cunt"
"Yes"
"I know where you are"
"Yes"
"I know what you're worth"
"Yes"
"I don't know why you're pretending you can't feel it"

 

[Mealy Mouth Spittle]

Someone else has to suffer through this sex scene.

Spoiler: Yes this is about Joe's taint

Danny and Grace, in an intimate moment.
"Put your hand there. Can you feel that?"
"Uh-"
"Can you feel it, it's warm."
"I- I'm not sure what I'm feeling for."
"There's a cavity. It's warm and it's stretching."
"I can feel the skin, and a bump-"
"Let me push with you"
"Help me"
"Let me push your hand in"
"Help me baby"
"There, can you feel that? You're inside your own body"
"Baby I can't feel it, I can't-"
"Your pussy, baby"
"Baby I can't feel it, it's dead to me, I'm dead"
"Can you feel it when I push you there?
"I don't know"
"Can you feel when I push you there baby?"
"I, uh, I-"
"There you are."
"I'm not sure"
"There you are, you can feel that can't you"
"I don't know"
"Baby can you feel when my hand pushes in your lips"
"Show me"
"Your lips are outside here, around the outside"
"Mn"
"You can feel that?"
"Mnnn, no I don't-"
"I know you can feel that, I don't know why you're pretending, you minx"
"I don't-"
"You're being a withholding cunt"
"Mn, good, yes"
"Do you like it when I call you a cunt"
"Stop it, just do it, don't make such a fuss about it"
"Shut up, cunt"
"Yes"
"I know where you are"
"Yes"
"I know what you're worth"
"Yes"
"I don't know why you're pretending you can't feel it"

I don't even know what the fuck I'm reading here. Is Mallory pretending he has a vagina and is getting Joe to pretend he's fingering himself? Because honestly, if that is the case -- that doesn't sound like the way Mallory talks or the way Joe would talk. At all.

Now, if it were reversed and Joe was getting Mallory to finger herself and she responds with "It's dead to me. I'm dead", that sounds believable. Her telling him to just do it and not make a fuss would also make sense. Joe calling her a withholding cunt sounds in character for him. Hard to imagine Mallory using "minx" but Joe loves that word. As it is written, it sounds completely fabricated.

I wonder if he has simply rewritten himself into Mallory's role in their sex life.

 

[aanoo]

I don't even know what the fuck I'm reading here. Is Mallory pretending he has a vagina and is getting Joe to pretend he's fingering himself? Because honestly, if that is the case -- that doesn't sound like the way Mallory talks or the way Joe would talk. At all.

Now, if it were reversed and Joe was getting Mallory to finger herself and she responds with "It's dead to me. I'm dead", that sounds believable. Her telling him to just do it and not make a fuss would also make sense. Joe calling her a withholding cunt sounds in character for him. Hard to imagine Mallory using "minx" but Joe loves that word. As it is written, it sounds completely fabricated.

I wonder if he has simply rewritten himself into Mallory's role in their sex life.

Mallory is fingering Joe's "pussy"; she has the first line. It absolutely sounds like bullshit, but whereas most of them talking to each other in the book sounds like pretentious academic bullshit, I don't even know what he's trying to achieve with... this. Is this what he thinks having sex as a woman is?

 

[lady stoneheart]

Someone else has to suffer through this sex scene.

Spoiler: Yes this is about Joe's taint

Danny and Grace, in an intimate moment.
"Put your hand there. Can you feel that?"
"Uh-"
"Can you feel it, it's warm."
"I- I'm not sure what I'm feeling for."
"There's a cavity. It's warm and it's stretching."
"I can feel the skin, and a bump-"
"Let me push with you"
"Help me"
"Let me push your hand in"
"Help me baby"
"There, can you feel that? You're inside your own body"
"Baby I can't feel it, I can't-"
"Your pussy, baby"
"Baby I can't feel it, it's dead to me, I'm dead"
"Can you feel it when I push you there?
"I don't know"
"Can you feel when I push you there baby?"
"I, uh, I-"
"There you are."
"I'm not sure"
"There you are, you can feel that can't you"
"I don't know"
"Baby can you feel when my hand pushes in your lips"
"Show me"
"Your lips are outside here, around the outside"
"Mn"
"You can feel that?"
"Mnnn, no I don't-"
"I know you can feel that, I don't know why you're pretending, you minx"
"I don't-"
"You're being a withholding cunt"
"Mn, good, yes"
"Do you like it when I call you a cunt"
"Stop it, just do it, don't make such a fuss about it"
"Shut up, cunt"
"Yes"
"I know where you are"
"Yes"
"I know what you're worth"
"Yes"
"I don't know why you're pretending you can't feel it"

the un-clit has found a new host

 

[Twiggez-Vous]

I'm skimming it but it's incomprehensible garbage. All the sex scenes are really weird. Also Joe has gout.

Gout at 38 is shocking. Soon he will have to be carried everywhere by a couple of lackeys, like some obese Victorian mem sahib in a sedan chair.

 

[Potatis Salad]

PDF of Please Miss attached for your one click convenience.

Link to epub on Libgen.

 

[Mealy Mouth Spittle]

What I wouldn't give to hear the honest opinions of his colleagues (especially his boss) after they've read this book. Even if they want to praise him for it (or feel they have no choice but to offer praise), there has to be some kind of struggle to find something positive to say about it. They should just tell him that it was stunning and brave.

Also, I would literally smother my husband in his sleep if I were forced to finger his asshole and pretend it was his "pussy". Not even joking on that one. If I'm going to be a trans widow, the widow part better be literal.

 

[gorgon]

Someone else has to suffer through this sex scene.

Spoiler: Yes this is about Joe's taint

Danny and Grace, in an intimate moment.
"Put your hand there. Can you feel that?"
"Uh-"
"Can you feel it, it's warm."
"I- I'm not sure what I'm feeling for."
"There's a cavity. It's warm and it's stretching."
"I can feel the skin, and a bump-"
"Let me push with you"
"Help me"
"Let me push your hand in"
"Help me baby"
"There, can you feel that? You're inside your own body"
"Baby I can't feel it, I can't-"
"Your pussy, baby"
"Baby I can't feel it, it's dead to me, I'm dead"
"Can you feel it when I push you there?
"I don't know"
"Can you feel when I push you there baby?"
"I, uh, I-"
"There you are."
"I'm not sure"
"There you are, you can feel that can't you"
"I don't know"
"Baby can you feel when my hand pushes in your lips"
"Show me"
"Your lips are outside here, around the outside"
"Mn"
"You can feel that?"
"Mnnn, no I don't-"
"I know you can feel that, I don't know why you're pretending, you minx"
"I don't-"
"You're being a withholding cunt"
"Mn, good, yes"
"Do you like it when I call you a cunt"
"Stop it, just do it, don't make such a fuss about it"
"Shut up, cunt"
"Yes"
"I know where you are"
"Yes"
"I know what you're worth"
"Yes"
"I don't know why you're pretending you can't feel it"

is this "muffing"?

Spoiler: Joe's 'pussy'?

 

[Constellationzero]

publishing a memoir titled Please, Jos: A Horrifying Tale of a Staggering Narcissist.

Alternative titles:

* Please, Leave: How US Academia Embraced Perversion
* Please, Bitch: Finish Getting My ZOO ZOOs and WHAM WHAMS.
* Please, Sideshow: The Circus Tent is Empty
* Please Listen: To Natal Women's Tales of Victimization At The Hands of Ugly Men in Dresses
* Please Kill Yourself: You Will Never Be a Woman And You Will Never Join the Algonquin Round Table

 

[Windows 10 Upgrade]

I'm skimming it but it's incomprehensible garbage. All the sex scenes are really weird. Also Joe has gout.

Ah, it seems all the hormones and dress flouncing in the world doesn't erase the fact that men have a higher level of uric acid in their system and will more likely suffer from gout flareups. Women tend only to get it after menopause. It's quite a rare condition for pre-menopausal women.

Take that, Staggering Penis!

 

[OttoWest]

is this "muffing"?

Spoiler: Joe's 'pussy'?

View attachment 2988410

That was my first thought too and good Christ I hope so. Muffing gone wrong (as it easily can) is apparently absolutely, excruciatingly painful. If Mal was able to take out at least one of Joe’s testicles, I’d consider her work on Earth good and complete.

 

[aanoo]

is this "muffing"?

Spoiler: Joe's 'pussy'?

View attachment 2988410

No, it’s his perineum/the space between his scrotum and his arsehole. He has a typically florid description of it somewhere but if I have to go looking for it again I’ll have nightmares.

There is also a part later in the book where he talks about how two “hot dykes” randomly approach him and Mallory for sex and how lesbians love him etc etc. And then Mallory shows them how to do this to him that day. This is lesbian sex, I guess.

 

[BluntyBitch]

This is lesbian sex, I guess.

Someone tell these two college educated upper middle class white privileged degenerates that this is not lesbian sex.

Someone tell them.

This is worse than when curious unfiltered ol' granny asks "so how do two gay men have sex anyways?"

At least that's hilarious, and awkward(ly funny), with maybe a pinch of horrifying. Depends on the granny

There is nothing hilarious about this excerpt.

Is this still their "lesbian arc" cuz I Wana see more Rachel Maddow outfits, a Subaru ad, some sensible shoes reviews, cute food puns, you know, things that are uniquely and stereotypically LESBIAN.

Someone tell them they're doing it wrong.