Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Angry New Ager]

Do we think there’s any chance of a bariatric surgery saga to lose the weight in Tess’s future, a la Alexandra “Learning to be Fearless” (who is failing, as we all know) or is Tess truly too far down the HAES/FA rabbit hole? I know her tattoos would be destroyed by skin removal after a significant loss, but some part of me has a feeling she will have to give in to extreme measures like bypass surgery if she wants to stay at all relevant. Surely she knows her star is fading, with no legitimate work on the horizon? I know she would lose the BoPo crowd, but perhaps she’d gain the audience of other fats trying to get healthy? Optimistic, I know.

Given the way she eats, WLS would be an abject failure. She doesn't have what it takes to make the dietary changes necessary in order to succeed, and probably never will.

If she was eating oversized portions of healthy, home-cooked food that maybe needed a few minor adjustments to work better post-WLS, that would be one thing. But she's a hardcore sugar junkie—just look at all the cake, ice cream, candy, and sweet drinks she puts away on the regular, and how much of it she keeps on hand. She is totally the kind of deathfat who would stretch her stomach back out and start regaining rapidly on things like milkshakes and melted ice cream, because she can't stay away from them.

 

[Water-T]

If she was eating oversized portions of healthy, home-cooked food that maybe needed a few minor adjustments to work better post-WLS, that would be one thing. But she's a hardcore sugar junkie—just look at all the cake, ice cream, candy, and sweet drinks she puts away on the regular, and how much of it she keeps on hand. She is totally the kind of deathfat who would stretch her stomach back out and start regaining rapidly on things like milkshakes and melted ice cream, because she can't stay away from them.

The majority of her caloric intake comes from liquid/semi-liquid sources full of sugar, like drinks from Starbucks, Jeni's ice cream, and booze. Even if Tess did undergo some form of WLS, she'd still stay fat AF because she'd continue to intake a shitload of calories and sugar from the above sources. The silver lining (for us) is that consuming all sugary shit post WLS would result in "sugar dumping syndrome" for poor Ms. Hooves. That would give her something to REALLY cry about on IG.

 

[No Thank You]

Michelle McDaniel’s latest call-out of Tess’s hypocrisy:

I love her editing.

 

[Gay Mouth]

View attachment 2992267

So she clarifies in this that no one pointed and laughed at the gym- Can't happen, she only "works out" in private sessions like a famous mawdle.

She decided to try and sob in her car jabbing her claw at the camera while her fat bags heave to and fro because of the existential weight of her decisions briefly crashing down on her trailer park mind. Somehow going online to shift blame from herself to the world at large makes it better. Sorry Tess, cry and scream and screed all you want, at the end of the day you have to live in that mudslide you call a body. You'll never be on the other side with us, marveling at how someone could let themselves get so trapped. Must be weird being on the other side of THIS ASS

 

[NoReturn]

So here's where she went in that "Pound Town" shirt.

So she clarifies in this that no one pointed and laughed at the gym- Can't happen, she only "works out" in private sessions like a famous mawdle.

She decided to try and sob in her car jabbing her claw at the camera while her fat bags heave to and fro because of the existential weight of her decisions briefly crashing down on her trailer park mind. Somehow going online to shift blame from herself to the world at large makes it better. Sorry Tess, cry and scream and screed all you want, at the end of the day you have to live in that mudslide you call a body. You'll never be on the other side with us, marveling at how someone could let themselves get so trapped. Must be weird being on the other side of THIS ASS

The comments on her Instagram version of that video:

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Is that Obamas trans brother on the left?

 

[Maggots on a Train v2]

She's slowly morphing into Amberlynn's moon face on a snowman physique.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

Shes wearing makeup in her paid partnership ad for skincare.

 

[HexBawxUno]

You know she didn't eat those oranges.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Shes wearing makeup in her paid partnership ad for skincare.

Thanks,Tess, for giving me another brand to avoid.

 

[Gay Mouth]

Shes wearing makeup in her paid partnership ad for skincare.

Well yeah, her skin looks like shit. She is reaching wear-makeup-to-bed levels of delusional about her bad skin.

 

[Pyrrhula Pyrrhula]

Shes wearing makeup in her paid partnership ad for skincare.

"Skincare for your face & body doesn't have to complicated, yall!"

I know that none of the influencers actually use the stuff they're shilling but didn't she just post a video of her bazillion step skin care routine?

Edit because can't grammar

 

[Gramlol]

She should not be using any chemical exfoliators including vitamin C, she'll burn her face off. Inconsistent and overly harsh products and smoking, with dehydration= Tess skin

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

Shes wearing makeup in her paid partnership ad for skincare.

Who the fuck picks Mess to promote their skincare products? That's the most counterintuitive marketing possible. Tess should be the before picture, not the "actively using our products" picture.

 

[NoReturn]

Thanks,Tess, for giving me another brand to avoid.

I feel we should go buy Fabletics now they've dropped Tess. Anti-influencer.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

I feel we should go buy Fabletics now they've dropped Tess. Anti-influencer.

Considering how long they kept her for, $60/mo membership on top of the price of the product ain't worth it. Also, sponsoring YouTubers/influencers/podcasters is a major red flag in my book.

 

[LintLicker]

Every dime a dozen influencer pushes Tula, it’s easy to become an affiliate for them and they often only pay in commission if you use the influencer’s code. You can easily apply for their program too. She’s probably not even been paid for the post.
Those are from their site. I expect to see her pushing her affiliate code frequently for those sweet commission bucks.

 

[Water-T]

Because when women look for a skin care brand, they rush to the one endorsed by a melting blob of Crisco with soggy flapjack tits.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

Every dime a dozen influencer pushes Tula, it’s easy to become an affiliate for them and they often only pay in commission if you use the influencer’s code. You can easily apply for their program too. She’s probably not even been paid for the post. View attachment 2996645View attachment 2996646
Those are from their site. I expect to see her pushing her affiliate code frequently for those sweet commission bucks.

That makes sense. Tess is just desperately throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

Oh these behind the scenes shots from the makeup artist are glorious.