What is your preferred method of sacrificing Ethan Ralph for the Corn?

[Rose Breeder]

Fired from a cannon at Mt. Rushmore.


Procuring modern cannons capable of chambering such a rotund individual might prove to be quite difficult, however.

 

[GayestFurryTrash]

I think just letting him live his life how he sees fit is the most effective and cruel way of doing it, it also requires me to do nothing but sit back and watch as he fucks up constantly. So that'd be my favorite.

 

[Peanut Butter in Peril]

Think the Boogie and Frank Hassle situation but replace Boogie with Gator and Frank with Gunt. Though preferably with 100% less warning shots and 100% more self defence.

 

[PeggieBigCock]

Kept naked on a pig farm until prime for slaughter

 

[Realistic Elephant]

Fired from a cannon at Mt. Rushmore.


Procuring modern cannons capable of chambering such a rotund individual might prove to be quite difficult, however.

It'd be a creative homage to Hunter S. Thompson.

 

[Laquisha Guntermensch]

Finally, a loving , alcohol induced image appears in the side of his vision. "Ethan Ralph, it's me, Gator...". All Ralph's viewers look on stunned as Ralph cries, begging an invisible Gator to forgive him. "You were my friend Ralph and now I'm gone." Ralph quietly still talking to no one bawling on his keyboard quietly sobbing and saying over and over "its nawwwt truuuu"..."its nawwwt truuu"..."its nawwwt tr----". Ralph looks up from his keyboard with concern, and with an "ah shit, uh" his sphincter finally gives way and he dies as all of his intestines spill out of his body, over his streamer chair and onto the floor, while those he attacked looked on. The snipe ends and the viewer count clicks down to a single current viewer.

You did a great job @Christorian X, but he's gotta shart himself to death. Here's my edit.

 

[There Is Light At The End]

By doing absolutely nothing. He will lay upon altar and gut himself just fine without my interference

 

[bigbombguy2222]

Only one way to do it properly.

shakes pill bottle

 

[#KillAllPedos]

I prefer to watch him humiliate himself over and over again. It’s more fun when it’s self-imposed. The Portugal saga was a great example.

 

[Telemeter]

Trip to a foreign country. Do that and the corn harvests itself.

 

[TheSword]

You ever see those documentaries made by faggy vegans that show how factory farms slice pieces of meat off animals they keep alive to ensure freshness? That’s a proper way to sacrifice Ralph to the harvest.

 

[Simply Outplayed-HD]

By doing absolutely nothing. He will lay upon altar and gut himself just fine without my interference

This is accurate but it's not kino. There have been many Ralph droughts but as Surfer once said "When the kino rains, it pours". Ralph has done many evil things but he's entertained me quite a lot, I won't begrudge him a hero's death.

 

[MediocreMilt]

You never sacrifice Ralph to the corn.

One merely takes note of his current antics, then sits back so that Ralph may sacrifice himself.

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

Death by cop after cop accidentally draws gun instead pig mace during a drunken domestic with the horse lady.

 

[5t3n0g0ph3r]

My method is reverse psychology.
If you are feuding with @theralph, make a statement like "I wish I could [insert hazardous activity here], but I lack the financial means to do it."
@theralph will try to do it just to spite you.
Hilarity ensues.

 

[I Love Beef]

Crucifix him to a cross in a cornfield and leave him for He Who Walks Behind The Rows.

That or give him the ol Malachi treatment. Being a knife to the neck. Stick the pig! In Minecraft!

 

[Absurdity]

Something like this except when Gunt comes spilling out with the corn I'd release a pack of starved feral boars.

 

[ImagineTheSmell]

Gassed by Jews

 

[He Who Points And Laughs]

Random 5'2" Portuguese tranny prostitute with a desire for a murse.

 

[WutangLee]

we should go back all the way to the source. Ancient Americans from the Navajo, the Pawnee, Maya held Corn as a sacred gift in fact the Aztec would often offer it in place of people to the Gods as they considered corn a source of life in it's own. So I believe ralph should be placed on the sunstone and have his heart removed. so that the rain may fall, and the sun shall keep rising.