Lolcow James Lloyd Evans / Lloyd Evans / John Cedars / The Reluctant Apostate / JWWatch / @cedarsjwsurvey - Self-appointed figurehead of ex-JWs, anti-sex abuse campaigner who spends his donations on hookers because he lacks "total mastery of his penis"

[The Lizard Queen]

Long gay post that isn’t funny and easentially making fun of a mentally ill person who escaped an evil cult and needs serious help.

Yeah kick ‘em while their down. Nice job OP (faggot).

Just because he got out of a cult doesn't mean he's as pure as the driven snow.
Hell, they probably kicked him out for his own uncontrollable sperginess, poor attitude, and bad habits.

If even a cult doesn't want you around, that is grade A lolcow material.

 

[The Wicked Mitch]

anti-sex abuse campaigner who spends his donations on hookers because he lacks "total mastery of his penis"​

Very relateable.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I once had a pleasant and interesting conversation with a JW on the phone when they cold called our house. I talked to them for like 40 minutes about religion and the afterlife because I was bored and genuinely like talking about that stuff.

The next day this chick shows up at my parents house uninvited to talk to me (I also happened to be 16 at the time so a minor).

Never gave her the address and our number was unlisted.

It was freaky.

Your info was probably given to the JW’s via school friend or neighbor. The JW’s still have random members send handwritten letters to the former-owner of my home x2 a year. The guy hasn’t owned the house for six years.
Apparently he had a JW that worked for his business years ago who put him, his address and phone number on their local list.

Part of the church activities is writing letters to everyone on that list once or twice a year. They are tenacious and tend to swoop up people who are at low points in life.

 

[FunPosting101]

Wacky religious cults are fertile ground for lolcows. I'm surprised we don't have more JW cows, honestly.

 

[Fialovy]

Of course there is, but either they're better at hiding their retardation or we just haven't found them yet. There are retards in every group of something human-related especially in religion

I think the closest is this Mike Norton guy who IIRC joined a Mormon church impersonating someone else and eventually got a temple recommend and recorded and leaked footage in the temple. I haven't heard much about him since then, but he has been disowned by the ex-Mormon community because apparently, he tried to do some pretty unhinged things like forging fake temple recommends to porn stars because he wanted to record a lesbian porn scene in the temple's locker room.

 

[Pringles Can]

Ya gotta be pretty special to be so crazy that you make the JW look like they are somewhat normal. This thread is going to be a classic.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

anti-sex abuse campaigner who spends his donations on hookers because he lacks "total mastery of his penis"​

Very relateable.

Legit almost sounds like a Monty Python sketch come to life.

 

[Stephanie Bustcakes]

I love this idea. I still have my "operation Iraqi freedom" (Fucking lol, thanks dubya) uniforms in my shed. Please PLEASE give these patches the velcro backing so I can slap them on.

I think you may be in the wrong thread, sir.

 

[Pee Cola]

I didnt know there were British Jehovahs witnesses?
are there british hebrew israelites as well?
i though this brand of retardation was exclusively in the states.

Nope, Jovos have infected many countries around the world.

Your info was probably given to the JW’s via school friend or neighbor. The JW’s still have random members send handwritten letters to the former-owner of my home x2 a year. The guy hasn’t owned the house for six years.
Apparently he had a JW that worked for his business years ago who put him, his address and phone number on their local list.

Part of the church activities is writing letters to everyone on that list once or twice a year. They are tenacious and tend to swoop up people who are at low points in life.

This was spoilered, but fuck it... plenty of ex-Jovos are spilling their guts without spoilering. I've never been one, but I'm familiar with their work.

idk what it's like in other countries, but one thing I've noticed about Jovos in Australia is that you tend to find clusters of them either in larger country towns or dodgy suburbs in the major cities.

I grew up in a particularly shitty area and we had Jovos doorknocking on a fortnightly basis. Since then, I've been moving to better and better areas, and have noticed fewer and fewer Jovos darkening my door on a Saturday morning. In my current suburb, which Americans would describe as "upscale", I've had one doorknocker and two handwritten letters (each addressed to "The Householder") from JWs in the past 13 years. The handwritten letters are an interesting wrinkle on a theme; I'm guessing these are from local Jovos who are too old to go out and witness.

 

[PyrrhicRustle]

It makes me wonder if there are any ex-Mormons who are this insane, they have to be out there. I am very interested in Christian and pseudo-Christian type cults so this was definitely a treat

There’s Greer kind of, he also likes hookers and vexatious litigation.

 

[Buttigieg2020]

JW are basically all cows, cults in general tend to attract/create them.

Idk, Prince seemed like a pretty normal guy.

 

[Pee Cola]

It makes me wonder if there are any ex-Mormons who are this insane

>they don't know
Edit: ninja'd

 

[Colonel Gaddafi]

I didnt know there were British Jehovahs witnesses?
are there british hebrew israelites as well?
i though this brand of retardation was exclusively in the states.

Unfortunately yes. I spend a lot of time in London and you see all manner of retardation there. I was strolling through South Kensington last summer and was harassed by some fucking Mormons who have a church near there. I usually just say I’m Catholic and watch them go scurrying off like I’m Satan incarnate. I’ve seen Black Israelites arguing with proponents of British Israelism near Parliament and random JW churches in rural villages.

Is it worse in the States? Yes, but that doesn’t mean it’s contained.

 

[Fialovy]

>they don't know

Edit: ninja'd

There’s Greer kind of, he also likes hookers and vexatious litigation.

Of course, I am aware of my boy Russell Greer and how similar he is to this guy and I suppose Anna O' Brien also counts (though she didn't officially leave the church, but she doesn't practice anymore or follow the teachings due to her disregard for no drinking by being a full on alcoholic and their modesty standards) I was thinking people who were more active in the ex-Mormon community.

 

[PyrrhicRustle]

>they don't know
Edit: ninja'd

To be honest when I clicked on the announcement I thought it was about Greer at first, I forgot which cult he used to be in and the rest fit him too well.

 

[The Lizard Queen]

I think the closest is this Mike Norton guy who IIRC joined a Mormon church impersonating someone else and eventually got a temple recommend and recorded and leaked footage in the temple. I haven't heard much about him since then, but he has been disowned by the ex-Mormon community because apparently, he tried to do some pretty unhinged things like forging fake temple recommends to porn stars because he wanted to record a lesbian porn scene in the temple's locker room.

Russel Greer is mormonspawned.

But Mormons, for the most part, are a pretty harmless bunch. They don't like the gays and the missionaries can get annoying, but as a religion they're less dangerous than most, since they don't control their members individual decisions on a cultish level. Even their major No-Nos have exceptions (alcohol is fine for cooking or medical reasons, abortion is allowed for rape or if the mother is too ill, etc...).
The worst that can happen to you as a Mormon is you lose your temple recommend for being gay, a slut, or abusive, but you'd have to do something genuinely awful (rape, murder, pedos, etc) to get kicked out. Most of the disgruntled ex-mormons were either kicked out for such things, or they left voluntarily because they hated being held to a higher standard.

JWs, on the other hand, will let you die before you get a blood transfusion.

 

[Ted_Logan]

Well good to know there is other species of lolcows but never knew it'll be a JW better yet a Ex one

Let see how much retardation this will get

 

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

Slight powerlevel coming.

For a period of about 4 months in the late 1980s, I attended a British JW church. I was initially doorstepped as a lot of people are: the two JWs concerned, a husband and wife team, were friendly and seemed intelligent and reasonable enough. Out of curiosity (I knew very little about JWs), I agreed to attend some of their services.

All very happy-clappy. The services were attended by families and a lot of JW hymns seem designed for children to sing (very simplistic, also difficult for an adult to sing well due to their pitch). This in itself started to sour me on the whole thing. They also seemed to have a very hard line on certain things which, as a live-and-let-live kind of guy, sat badly with me (they really didn't like gays, to pick one obvious example). When I also got confirmation of that 'no blood transfusion' stuff, that was pretty much the last straw. Any religion that would let a loved one die rather than get them help isn't worth following. I wrote them as polite a letter as I could saying that I was out.

Perhaps because I'd never seemed like a serious candidate to become a full-on JW, there didn't seem to be any real upset at this - I certainly wasn't ceremonially drummed out to my face. In the ensuing months, two separate visits were made to my flat to ask me if I wanted to come back. I said no to both (the fact that, cruel as it is to judge by appearances, one of these visits was made by a large obese type who looked like the splicing of Arnold Toht and a stereotypical child molester helped me decide that pretty clearly). After that, nothing more.

Oh, yeah - the local elder was a dead spit for a young(ish) William Shatner, but with a broad yokel accent. Not important, but it did make it hard for me to keep a straight face at services.

They'd always felt a bit off to me, and at least now I knew something whereof I spoke. Reading some of the stuff in the excellent OP has therefore not exactly come as a shock.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

I don’t want to PL too much, but I grew up a JW and come from a a family that was in the religion for many generations. I’m still reading the OP, but there is a lot of complexities and nuance about the religion we may need to tread carefully. Fortunately, JWs aren’t as internet-savy or sue-happy as Scientologists, so you won’t have to worry about getting hounded. I have some small suggestions/corrections for the OP that I will edit and add to this post for anybody who’s curious (apologies if these points are addressed while I’m still writing):

Elders: your definition is decent, but they are really the “clergy” of the faith. It’s tricky because JWs view the terminology of most other Christian sects as incorrect, so they use different words. Elders can officiate weddings held at Kingdom Halls, lead prayers, and often give the most talks (“sermons” if you will). Elders are basically like a pastor or even a “priest” and I think that needs to be highlighted in the description.

 

[Tiki Bar Man]

wow this is the first time I have been legit shocked to see someone have a thread on the farms that I used to watch. I will powerlevel and say that I am an ex JW. Someone on 4chan lmao actually suggested the ex jehovas witness sub reddit and you saw cedar's videos all the time. The guy was shilled to hell and back, but he was respected in the community. I would legit watched and engaged with his videos and thought they helped me "learn the truth about the truth" so to speak. Then he wrote a book. Thats when people started to suggest we not make him into a celebrity in the community and that there was some concerns in his book about how he had treated his wife and if he was actually a truthful person.
Stopped watching him and going on there since then so its fucking nuts to see someone who used to just do 6 hour video breakdowns on the cult finally get a thread here.