Lolcow James Lloyd Evans / Lloyd Evans / John Cedars / The Reluctant Apostate / JWWatch / @cedarsjwsurvey - Self-appointed figurehead of ex-JWs, anti-sex abuse campaigner who spends his donations on hookers because he lacks "total mastery of his penis"

Political neutrality - because the JWs shun Satan's system, they don't vote, join political parties, do military service or do anything remotely political (unless it helps the church specifically, the high ups will lobby quite hard on that). This is why so many conscientious objectors and people skipping national service are/were JWs and why they tend to get criminalised for this, which serves the church very well as fodder for their propaganda shows about how the evil outside world persecutes them so they must be the one true faith.
this is actually why hitler put JWs in camps during WW2 and even gave them their own triangle colour (purple)
 
The 144,000 are the only ones who “take communion”, so to speak. They’re expected to go to heaven and become part of god’s bureaucracy. The JW idea of the “rapture” is for the majority of followers to remain on Earth after surviving Armageddon with their regular ol’ meat bodies which have now become immortal.
So you're telling me that if you're just a regular JW then you get the shitty consolation prize, while the special ones get to party it up with Jesus. What a scam
 
Holy shit dude talks about his boner to underage girls. That chat log is so over the top it seems fake.
I really Wana see TCAP JW edition now
When I was in 7th grade these two JW ladies came to the front door. They startled my dog and it woke me up. I was pissed so I grabbed a water bottle and, opening the front door, i started flicking droplets of water at them and they ran away screaming to their car. It was quite a sight.
When I was in 7th grade, I was home alone after school and they showed up.

The baby blunt bitch I was, I said "oh! Hey can u hang on? I got a goat I'm sacrificing on the alter and I don't want it to burn, ILL BE RIGHT BACK!"

They went to their car and left. I mean what are they thinking , talking to under agers without parents at home? That's shady, but also explains they're lowkeyish sex pests, especially when all the rape stories getting covered up.

They are quick to say "our congregation has doctors!" And shit like that,but yet they didn't even want my high school friend to go to nursing school, and they love to brag about the degrees their congregation has - except those are CONVERTS ,not raised in it. It's like a big omission they use that's not cool and is basically lying and manipulative.

@NSA, cuz I can't reply or quote.

I have a whole folder with their handouts (I minored in religious studies in college so I keep everything for funzees) and the pole thing is such a weird thin g to be bent out of shape over, but they put a lot of Jesus bloody on a pole with his hands tied/nailed above his head imagery and artwork so they must want that to be more symbolic than the cross I understand? But they also don't wear crosses apparen tly? Cuz Jesus would be offended if he came back? Or is that not doctrine exactly?

Fun fact: BIRTH CONTROL IS OK. they are not against it. Abortion is aNoNo, but a planned pregnancy and spacing kids out is ok and is sees as a personal medical choice between couples and their doctors. They have a soft spot for girls who overbleed during periods (menorrhagia ) cuz they're not against health care overall like fundies are (I saw a lot of special needs JW kids too in my younger years growing up...) And they use a lot of health care services. I saw several of the girls go into nursing because of this background, so I guess nursing school is ok now? Or maybe they all forced to leave congregation to become nurses? I'm not sure, this was 20yrs ago. You'd think the old men would want the women to learn how to take care of their pedo asses in old age.
Edit: I was told that preventing ovulation is ok, so birth control pill etc was ok because the egg wasn't being fertilized.

They were allowed to go speak at local city council shit or whatever if they were discussing laws or zoning that may affect them/their neighborhood/family personally but could not be involved with politics otherwise,like registering to vote.

Back in the 90s, it was clarified for me by a jw hs classmate that they believe in paying off their debts and didn't believe in bankruptcy. But I think that shifted in the aughts because none of their literature ever mentioned it again.

They do Not believe in the holy trinity, that Jesus was not God but was son of god, I think because holy Trinity is Catholic and they don't like that? I got some handouts from them for Catholic converts not to ever pray to Mary only to God and Jesus and THATS IT YOU HEATHEN

Lastly, on the blood transfusions, which is why I came to know so much about JWs.
There was a website, NOBLOOD.ORG, that I believe was run by JWs but it was not JW exclusive, there were people around the world who didn't like blood transfusions for a miriad of personal, religious, and social reasons. Even some gay dudes were there, that it's only a matter of time til a new AIDS kills them again or gay dudes that refused blood transfusions because gays couldn't donate. Mostly JWs but there was no proselytizing except to say their reasons and whatever biblical verse they always cite about it.

I got mixed histories on what happened to the site, it went into an archive mode for a bit and then offline completely I think and then got bought anew but like none of the top posts a d top Q&A questions were gone. If there is any kiwi good with searching for lost stuff there, or waybackmachine or whatever, I have a few posts I rember that I'd like to cite here but I don't Wana shit up. I'm not v good at goolagfoo stuff, am boomer.

Stuff on the blood recirculating/recycling machine, There was some hospital drama of hospitals being sanctioned or investigated over their pushiness of blood transfusions on patients, or allowing no blood JW patients but would turn away others that weren't JW and just didn't ever want a life saving blood transfusion for reasons other than religion, so there was some weird discrimination stuff going on there, if the patient Was Not jw. the JWs still felt their "No Blood" fights would eventually mean blood recycle machines for every patient (ha! Nah they're still expensive machines that are rarely used) so that eventually every patient would never require a blood transfusion.

If any kiwis can clarify what happened to noblood.org I'd really like to know, or if there's an archive somewhere that actually has the old stuff, Ill buy an extra jersh kiwi patch for ya!
 
So you're telling me that if you're just a regular JW then you get the shitty consolation prize, while the special ones get to party it up with Jesus. What a scam
Well, it's either that, or death. According to JW doctrine, every non-JW will die gruesomely during Armageddon when Jehovah turns every city into dust and obliterates every addict, every whoremonger and every last faggot, leaving the world practically empty, with only a few million JWs as inhabitants surrounded by pristine tracts of wilderness.


This creates an incentive for JWs to "save" their friends by proselytizing to them, because it inculcates a belief in the follower that every non-JW they know would otherwise die.

In JW parlance, the "worldly" label that is given to non-JWs presumes that they have criminal tendencies, or are otherwise given to various kinds of vice, such as alcoholism, drug abuse, premarital sex (which is 100% verboten to JWs), and so forth. This is why many ex-JWs immediately undergo a sort of moral collapse upon leaving the faith. Years and years of monk-like abstinence leaves one extremely frustrated and thirsty, and before you know it, you're snorting coke off a hooker's ass in a Tijuana brothel.
 
Well, it's either that, or death. According to JW doctrine, every non-JW will die gruesomely during Armageddon when Jehovah turns every city into dust and obliterates every addict, every whoremonger and every last faggot, leaving the world practically empty, with only a few million JWs as inhabitants surrounded by pristine tracts of wilderness.


This creates an incentive for JWs to "save" their friends by proselytizing to them, because it inculcates a belief in the follower that every non-JW they know would otherwise die.

In JW parlance, the "worldly" label that is given to non-JWs presumes that they have criminal tendencies, or are otherwise given to various kinds of vice, such as alcoholism, drug abuse, premarital sex (which is 100% verboten to JWs), and so forth. This is why many ex-JWs immediately undergo a sort of moral collapse upon leaving the faith. Years and years of monk-like abstinence leaves one extremely frustrated and thirsty, and before you know it, you're snorting coke off a hooker's ass in a Tijuana brothel.
Governing body member Stephen Lett gave a talk a while ago about how JW faggots could be resurrected, but would have to stop being gay if they wanted to stay in the paradise earth. A lot of ex-JWs including his niece saw this as a sore point because he had a gay nephew who committed suicide.
 
Well, it's either that, or death. According to JW doctrine, every non-JW will die gruesomely during Armageddon when Jehovah turns every city into dust and obliterates every addict, every whoremonger and every last faggot, leaving the world practically empty, with only a few million JWs as inhabitants surrounded by pristine tracts of wilderness.


This creates an incentive for JWs to "save" their friends by proselytizing to them, because it inculcates a belief in the follower that every non-JW they know would otherwise die.

In JW parlance, the "worldly" label that is given to non-JWs presumes that they have criminal tendencies, or are otherwise given to various kinds of vice, such as alcoholism, drug abuse, premarital sex (which is 100% verboten to JWs), and so forth. This is why many ex-JWs immediately undergo a sort of moral collapse upon leaving the faith. Years and years of monk-like abstinence leaves one extremely frustrated and thirsty, and before you know it, you're snorting coke off a hooker's ass in a Tijuana brothel.
Where do I sign up? Lol
 
I skipped ahead in the video where he's wasted and the video froze on this Screenshot_20220307_120828.jpg
Also very informative and well done OP
 
There is "theocratic warfare", which AIUI isn't nearly as extreme as Scientology's Fair Game policy, but more like Shia Islam's taqiyah policy. That is, you can lie to people outside the religion, if it helps the religion. Though there's all sorts of interpretations of it, like in Mexico JWs were allowed to have fake papers that exempted them from military service, but in Malawi they weren't allowed fake party membership cards. Lloyd talks about this in one of his videos, where he says his dad came home one day all excited and said, "did you know we're allowed to tell lies?" like it was a special treat and he was looking forward to lying to some worldly people.
Fantastic explanation of a lot of the terminology and practices too, thanks!
I must've just been lucky or something, being part of a small town group of normie Christians. We were taught not to lie and all the usual stuff like that. I never thought twice about them until expose videos started appearing online. I was like Huh? This stuff sounds fucked as shit LMAO. I am fascinated by this thread.

@BluntyBitch
I have a whole folder with their handouts (I minored in religious studies in college so I keep everything for funzees) and the pole thing is such a weird thing to be bent out of shape over, but they put a lot of Jesus bloody on a pole with his hands tied/nailed above his head imagery and artwork so they must want that to be more symbolic than the cross I understand? But they also don't wear crosses apparently? Cuz Jesus would be offended if he came back? Or is that not doctrine exactly?
Crosses are STRICTLY VERBOTEN. I suspect it is an attempt to fully separate themselves from anything Catholic-esque.

You may notice that their churches (or "kindom halls") are totally plain and boring normal buildings. On the inside they look like those meeting rooms you can rent at a hotel. This is because they are against idolatry with a big "I". This means no statues, even of Jesus or Mary. No decorations like that whatsoever. The idea is to not distract you from worshipping God, they are afraid you'll end up worshipping a golden calf if you have any kind of statue or picture that you pray to.
Fun fact: BIRTH CONTROL IS OK. they are not against it. Abortion is aNoNo, but a planned pregnancy and spacing kids out is ok and is sees as a personal medical choice between couples and their doctors. They have a soft spot for girls who overbleed during periods (menorrhagia ) cuz they're not against health care overall like fundies are (I saw a lot of special needs JW kids too in my younger years growing up...)
They believe life begins at conception, so condoms etc are fine. In this sense they are less crazy than Catholics.
And they use a lot of health care services. I saw several of the girls go into nursing because of this background, so I guess nursing school is ok now? Or maybe they all forced to leave congregation to become nurses? I'm not sure, this was 20yrs ago.
Unless they're a nurse that takes part in surgeries it's probably fine I guess. I admit my knowledge is out of date.
They do Not believe in the holy trinity, that Jesus was not God but was son of god, I think because holy Trinity is Catholic and they don't like that? I got some handouts from them for Catholic converts not to ever pray to Mary only to God and Jesus and THATS IT YOU HEATHEN
JW only pray to JEHOVAH (It's right in the name). Not to Jesus even. Jesus is basically God's right-hand man/enforcer and the Holy Spirit is basically just God's soul or will, and not a person at all. Praying to Mary would be literally pointless because SHE'S DEAD LMAO.

Jehovah's Witnesses are the "well, acktually..." people of the Christian world. The thing to understand about JW doctrine is that it is all based on scriptural interpretation but their interpretations are just uh...different than most other sects. They don't have a "Book of Mormon" equivalent. For example, here's the bible passage which is the source of the 144K thing:
Revelation 14:
Then I looked, and there before me was the Lamb, standing on Mount Zion, and with him 144,000 who had his name and his Father’s name written on their foreheads. 2 And I heard a sound from heaven like the roar of rushing waters and like a loud peal of thunder. The sound I heard was like that of harpists playing their harps. 3 And they sang a new song before the throne and before the four living creatures and the elders. No one could learn the song except the 144,000 who had been redeemed from the earth. 4 These are those who did not defile themselves with women, for they remained virgins. They follow the Lamb wherever he goes. They were purchased from among mankind and offered as firstfruits to God and the Lamb. 5 No lie was found in their mouths; they are blameless.
Incels, rise up!
 
I skipped ahead in the video where he's wasted and the video froze on this View attachment 3051833
Looks like one of those screenshots in the DSP that range from funny to uncanny.
This guy definitively wishes to hold power over people similarily to the chief figures of cults, given the possible abuse and cheating, as expected from lolcows with former cult backgrounds, similar to the fedora tippers that deep down only leave religion to protect their egos.
 
UPDATE: Cappytan, another ex-JW on Twitter (archive) says that Gloucestershire police have taken a report (presumably from the Lathams, since the police station Marc's outside in that video is in Gloucestershire). He gives the crime reference number as GC-20220214-0123.
However, I will say I've never seen an English police crime reference number in that format. They're usually two letters (either CR or to indicate the particular region, so it would be GC in this case) and then 7 digits. Not the date and then four digits. It's possible a report genuinely has been made but Cappytan, not being familiar with English police reports, has quoted the wrong part of it as the crime reference number.
It isn't a crime reference number, but it looks like a report identification number. I've several in the same format sent to me once I've reported something, with a Crime Reference No. following once it is recorded. The CR number is normally an 11 digit number.
 
Frankly, I can't think of anything more pointless than spending years of one's life seething over a religious group that one's no longer involved with. Wouldn't be better to just live one's life based on one's own choices and newfound beliefs now that one's free from the influence of what was supposedly a cult?

What's the point of centering your newfound "freedom" around petty fights on the internet about religious dogmas or adopting an identity that's solely based around not-being something?
 
Looks like one of those screenshots in the DSP that range from funny to uncanny.
This guy definitively wishes to hold power over people similarily to the chief figures of cults, given the possible abuse and cheating, as expected from lolcows with former cult backgrounds, similar to the fedora tippers that deep down only leave religion to protect their egos.
Oh he absolutely is a euphoric fedora tipper, he moves in those circles and shows up at atheist conventions. Several crossovers with atheism/"rational" "skeptic" cows like Matt Dillahunty (who once got really angry with a Christian lady who called into his show and criticised prostitution, though he gets angry on his show a lot, so who knows).

eta: New video, Lloyd gives marriage advice. :story:
 
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Oh boy! Witnesses!
Let's learn about the culture this guy came from, shall we?
Given his age, he would have grown up with this book that was in like, every thrift store in the 90s.
I don't know how they got this many out there at the time. Did they give them away for free?
Put the audiobook on for your kids while they fall asleep! Sweet dreams!

Then there was this, the Smurfs story.

Also, now I have an excuse to talk about Caleb and Sophia!
It's a special treat because the people who talk about it are often themselves very cringe as well.
 
Excellent thread, OP. I think this is a first time I've seen a lolcow in such a particular niche. We've seen cultcows before doing heinous stuff (remember the cult that kept the corpse of the woman who headed it thinking she'd rise from death?), but while this is all comparatively less awful, it's still perfectly typical lolcow behavior. Delusions of grandeur, indulging vices, non-apology apologies, hypocrisy, and to top it all off the hallmark of the lolcow that is lack of self-awareness. Jimmy John here could almost be a force for good without that, but that's the tragedy of the cow. Thanks for doing the legwork on documenting all of this, it's really interesting to see a religious adjacent cow that isn't novel for being totally schizo. Also the glossary addendum post is top notch.

Following a cow with a YT channel always keeps the milk aflowing. Will be fun to keep tabs on this.
 
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