- Joined
- Nov 8, 2016
Alternate title: SHOWING I'M SUPER DESPERATE MY WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.
- Thread starter PiggyPie
- Start date
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2019
We begin, as always, in the stank apartment, where if is isn't the aroma of festering, oozing lymphedema and the poorly wiped giant asscrack of Hamber's, it's all the candles and air fresheners and body soaps and perfumes trying to cover it. Tell me something stupid and lie to me, Fatty. And do it at 2x speed because your speaking is just as retardedly stupid and slow as everything else about you.
Those spider eyelashes are just as hideous now as when they appeared when MamaMeth blew into town to see if you were a goldmine, Big Ham. In fact, those combined with your overdone makeup and your hideous sense of couture make you look like trailer trash following teen fashion magazines that are decades out of vogue. So, on target there for you, anyway. MamaMeth must be thanking her lucky stars she went back to Okie and lives far away.
Oh, look, another hickey, shown prominently to the camera. Trailer trash again. No need to continually remind us just how immature you are, Big Al. Blah blah, today is the second appointment. Doesn't have an appointment with the dietician yet, something I bet she's thankful for, and "the doctor who is doing my bloodwork doesn't have an opening until April. That's far, far, away." Oh, you mean like the same "next month" that your March first appointment was from February? Do you not understand how time works?
She's "super freakin' anxious" and wants to get the appointment over with. Spoken like someone who doesn't really want to get invested in the program. It won't be long until we're not hearing about these appointments. People will ask about them, and she'll claim she's keeping that off YT. Eventually, when the questioning reaches a crescendo, she'll confess that she stopped going, because it "just wasn't working for me". She'll say this as she films a mook-bong where she eats an entire suckling pig.
Oh, FFS. Back to the goddamned ring size. NO ONE CARES you fat cunt. Your fingers are fat, like the rest of you. Some story about Becky selling them and only subscribers were interested in buying them or some other boring bullshit I didn't listen to, so she gave them back to Big Ham, who amusingly, calls them "gaudy". Both of them. I seem to recall you pointing these out to Becky, o Queen of Moderation who wasn't happy with one ring, but had to have two. This is filler bullshit. Time on this: almost two full minutes.
Is now back from the second appointment and is "loving it". Yeah, that won't last. Proceeds to throw every other previous therapist she's had under the bus because they were only "surface" level, which Hamber didn't like because we all know just how deep a person she is. Claims to love the "evidence" (i.e., deep) therapy - all of two appointments in, let's recall -says it's "here's your diagnosee [sic], let's work on that." Great, you tell them your "diagnosee", they tell it back to you, and I guess they'll just continue to tell you what you want to hear - that your childhood was shittier than anyone else's, in the history of the world, and you're so special (here's a cookie!) and you shouldn't feel badly when you constantly fail things, and when you fall off that bike, you should just get right back on and keep trying.
(Side note: this video remains a goldmine and in its entirety, sums up anything anyone needed to know about Big Al.)
Says she's just "shook to the core" - do they have a speech therapist over there, to help cure this fucking glomming on to words and phrases you have going on, WriterLynn? Says she should have done this sooner. Damn, if only anyone had ever suggested it prior to now!
Next appointment is in a few days, also now has a dietician appointment as well.
Pimps her cameo account. That bank account level must be setting off alarms in her pea-sized brain.
Some bullshit about some stupid book she remembers from her (traumatic) childhood. And she "finally found it!" Guess taking two seconds to google it before now was out of the question. Says not to judge her, but fuck that, I'm judging you, you lazy twat.
Wants to show us a meal she's been "obsessed with" (another word you should stop fucking using) lately, waddles over to pick up the groceries. Which are not unpacked, still in the grocery bags, and includes two bags of frozen corn. Good job, Fatty. Encourage that bacterial growth!
Is going to cook something with SPAM in it, with the cat walking all over the counter. Nasty. Less sodium SPAM, at that. She's making rice "from scratch" as she calls it. JFC, jasmine is a floral rice. Why must you fucking douse everything in the same four seasonings you always use? You should be rehabbing your fucking one taste bud while you work on your lard ass, Fatty.
Slices a can of SPAM, then cuts that into cubes. Throws it into a frying pan. Completely obliterates the "less sodium" SPAM by emptying a quarter jar of garlic salt on it. As usual, adds the only seasonings she knows, tops it off with sriacha and soy sauce (more sodium!). Adds corn, suggests it sounds weird and w should trust her. That ain't happening, LiarLynn. She's cutting the scallions, helpfully tells us you can put it in early in the cooking or late. Why, you're a regular Julia Child, ChefLynn.
Puts a blob of heavily overseasoned (and wrongly seasoned) rice on a plate. Scoops some of the SPAM monstrosity on that. Adds even more soy sauce and sriacha, then sesame seeds, then peanuts. Pronounces it delicious. Well, I guess we'll just call up the James Beard Foundation and tell them we know who should receive the award for this year. Says again we should trust her. Nope, not trusting someone who thinks overseasoned SPAM on top of overseasoned rice and then covered in two different textural items is haute cuisine.
Does some stupid stuff with her overly fragranced laundry soaps, and it cuts to the end where VOLynn tells us that like an idiot, or someone who hasn't been uploading videos for a decade, she "forgot" to end this, signs off, stupid outro.
TL;DW/DR: Big Ham is the queen of questionable and overly used scents in every aspect of her life.
Those spider eyelashes are just as hideous now as when they appeared when MamaMeth blew into town to see if you were a goldmine, Big Ham. In fact, those combined with your overdone makeup and your hideous sense of couture make you look like trailer trash following teen fashion magazines that are decades out of vogue. So, on target there for you, anyway. MamaMeth must be thanking her lucky stars she went back to Okie and lives far away.
Oh, look, another hickey, shown prominently to the camera. Trailer trash again. No need to continually remind us just how immature you are, Big Al. Blah blah, today is the second appointment. Doesn't have an appointment with the dietician yet, something I bet she's thankful for, and "the doctor who is doing my bloodwork doesn't have an opening until April. That's far, far, away." Oh, you mean like the same "next month" that your March first appointment was from February? Do you not understand how time works?
She's "super freakin' anxious" and wants to get the appointment over with. Spoken like someone who doesn't really want to get invested in the program. It won't be long until we're not hearing about these appointments. People will ask about them, and she'll claim she's keeping that off YT. Eventually, when the questioning reaches a crescendo, she'll confess that she stopped going, because it "just wasn't working for me". She'll say this as she films a mook-bong where she eats an entire suckling pig.
Oh, FFS. Back to the goddamned ring size. NO ONE CARES you fat cunt. Your fingers are fat, like the rest of you. Some story about Becky selling them and only subscribers were interested in buying them or some other boring bullshit I didn't listen to, so she gave them back to Big Ham, who amusingly, calls them "gaudy". Both of them. I seem to recall you pointing these out to Becky, o Queen of Moderation who wasn't happy with one ring, but had to have two. This is filler bullshit. Time on this: almost two full minutes.
Is now back from the second appointment and is "loving it". Yeah, that won't last. Proceeds to throw every other previous therapist she's had under the bus because they were only "surface" level, which Hamber didn't like because we all know just how deep a person she is. Claims to love the "evidence" (i.e., deep) therapy - all of two appointments in, let's recall -says it's "here's your diagnosee [sic], let's work on that." Great, you tell them your "diagnosee", they tell it back to you, and I guess they'll just continue to tell you what you want to hear - that your childhood was shittier than anyone else's, in the history of the world, and you're so special (here's a cookie!) and you shouldn't feel badly when you constantly fail things, and when you fall off that bike, you should just get right back on and keep trying.
Says she's just "shook to the core" - do they have a speech therapist over there, to help cure this fucking glomming on to words and phrases you have going on, WriterLynn? Says she should have done this sooner. Damn, if only anyone had ever suggested it prior to now!
Next appointment is in a few days, also now has a dietician appointment as well.
Pimps her cameo account. That bank account level must be setting off alarms in her pea-sized brain.
Some bullshit about some stupid book she remembers from her (traumatic) childhood. And she "finally found it!" Guess taking two seconds to google it before now was out of the question. Says not to judge her, but fuck that, I'm judging you, you lazy twat.
Wants to show us a meal she's been "obsessed with" (another word you should stop fucking using) lately, waddles over to pick up the groceries. Which are not unpacked, still in the grocery bags, and includes two bags of frozen corn. Good job, Fatty. Encourage that bacterial growth!
Is going to cook something with SPAM in it, with the cat walking all over the counter. Nasty. Less sodium SPAM, at that. She's making rice "from scratch" as she calls it. JFC, jasmine is a floral rice. Why must you fucking douse everything in the same four seasonings you always use? You should be rehabbing your fucking one taste bud while you work on your lard ass, Fatty.
Slices a can of SPAM, then cuts that into cubes. Throws it into a frying pan. Completely obliterates the "less sodium" SPAM by emptying a quarter jar of garlic salt on it. As usual, adds the only seasonings she knows, tops it off with sriacha and soy sauce (more sodium!). Adds corn, suggests it sounds weird and w should trust her. That ain't happening, LiarLynn. She's cutting the scallions, helpfully tells us you can put it in early in the cooking or late. Why, you're a regular Julia Child, ChefLynn.
Puts a blob of heavily overseasoned (and wrongly seasoned) rice on a plate. Scoops some of the SPAM monstrosity on that. Adds even more soy sauce and sriacha, then sesame seeds, then peanuts. Pronounces it delicious. Well, I guess we'll just call up the James Beard Foundation and tell them we know who should receive the award for this year. Says again we should trust her. Nope, not trusting someone who thinks overseasoned SPAM on top of overseasoned rice and then covered in two different textural items is haute cuisine.
Does some stupid stuff with her overly fragranced laundry soaps, and it cuts to the end where VOLynn tells us that like an idiot, or someone who hasn't been uploading videos for a decade, she "forgot" to end this, signs off, stupid outro.
TL;DW/DR: Big Ham is the queen of questionable and overly used scents in every aspect of her life.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2021
That text book is pretty memorable. Didn't we all have versions of it?
We're All Going To Hell
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2021
I'd rather eat her dried out salmon I think... or not Gods spam is already so fucking repugnant.
Next video - I'm so swolleeeen but its only because I ate too much spam
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2021
Oh yay, she is taunting a Wipey engagement arch. I wonder if it was fake like the last one?
The shambling for money and relevance in this video is off the charts. Amber must be making jack shit because 1.3 million views a month is nothing and with no other income except cameo. This is the cut Cameo take each video for $6.25
So she makes $18.75 per Cameo, so if 100 = $18.75. Not even that much when you apply tax. If she gets 100 a month pushing her to $60,000 annually she still has to pay this amount;
The remaining = $32,820 which for Amber is nothing considering how much we see her spend is nothing. For most of us 32k is liveable but not Amber.
The shambling for money and relevance in this video is off the charts. Amber must be making jack shit because 1.3 million views a month is nothing and with no other income except cameo. This is the cut Cameo take each video for $6.25
So she makes $18.75 per Cameo, so if 100 = $18.75. Not even that much when you apply tax. If she gets 100 a month pushing her to $60,000 annually she still has to pay this amount;
Tax Amount:$9180
Social Security Portion:$7440
Medicare Portion :$1740
Self-Employment Tax Rate:15.30%
Applying her rent of $1500 x 12 = $18,000The remaining = $32,820 which for Amber is nothing considering how much we see her spend is nothing. For most of us 32k is liveable but not Amber.
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2021
Fat fuck is in hardcore troll mode. Shit is getting desperate. As far as the foster care and group home horrible childhood....Sonoma County at her time in the system was still top tier better than the majority of the country. I have no doubt in my mind she got a good foster family, it's her own family, social workers trying to mend that shit family and her stupid bullshit that made her childhood shit. She doesn't tell the "bad experiences" in foster care because there wasn't any. Her being yoinked back to her birth family and rebelling because she couldn't stuff her face is all she had. I don't doubt life with her mom and dad and whatever siblings she has left was crap, but foster care was not where her trauma came from. Also, this fatass is a grown ass adult now. Get over it and get some real fucking help. Or just die. Whatever.
Murderous Anas
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2021
Her videos are so boring that the most interesting thing to me was the textbook - I got a little bit curious about the book she ordered, because I distinctly remembered one of my younger siblings bringing this exact one home in the late 2000's. This particular edition that she purchased is from 2008... and is meant for 4th graders. There's an earlier edition from 2005 with a similar cover, but unless she was taking English/reading classes at a 4th grade level while she was still in high school, there's no way she was taught with it.
How is someone is supposed to order a textbook online without knowing the word 'textbook?' When she described it as "big glossy book with tons of mini stories in it," it took a second for it to click that she was talking about a textbook and not some sort of kid's short story collection. I know she's dense, but do we really believe that she's this dense?
Edited to add: this is definitely a sad trolling attempt, notice the jump cut before she opens the book up to a story about Rosa Parks?
How is someone is supposed to order a textbook online without knowing the word 'textbook?' When she described it as "big glossy book with tons of mini stories in it," it took a second for it to click that she was talking about a textbook and not some sort of kid's short story collection. I know she's dense, but do we really believe that she's this dense?
Edited to add: this is definitely a sad trolling attempt, notice the jump cut before she opens the book up to a story about Rosa Parks?
Last edited:
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2019
"Talent" Lulz.
If she uses Paypal as the account they deposit into, Paypal also charges a percentage of the incoming amount to the recipient. Not sure about venmo, or how integrated that is as a payment gateway anyhow. I suppose they could do direct deposit, where there wouldn't be a fee to her (unless her bank really, really sucks).
Last edited:
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2016
She's getting that blubber vest chest again and she looks like she has the world's fattest banana bruise.
DIAGNOSEE
DIAGNOSEE
uncritically
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 21, 2018
it fits on her dainty finger! *proceeds to cut the camera, so it doesn't show her furiously trying to pry said ring off from the fat on her finger*
inquizadoor
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2020
shes an idiot, she just ordered whichever elementary school english book struck her fancy and called it good. she couldnt recall any particular stories or anything to find a specific edition.
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2020
Its the only thing in this whole wipey situation
that does add up so far.
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2021
Unfortunately i think shes too smart to be someone who struggles with prader-wili. I went down that route years ago but shes just unfortunately a regular run of the mill tard with a bunch of other issues that may seem like p-w.
I, for one, was devistated.
Her foster family most likely locked their shit up because their mail order foster child was a fat tard and they couldnt be bothered to deal with the real route to getting her help so they did what they could. They had lives before amber, and at her age she would need maybe a tard wrangler, therapy several times a month and special care like that. Jumping through hoops to get to that point where amber is stable or just going to a local hardware store isnt exactly a hard decision to make.
I grew up in the area around this bitch and i guarantee that girl had it made in foster care with the family she had.
Your right, essentially all she has to bitch about is her horrendous family she now says is the best she could ever hope for. Thats why she makes a bunch of shit up to be as cool as the kids who were in foster care who actually got fucked up lives because of it.
The bitch ate meth as a kid and i believe her. The case workers probably tried the bleeding heart bullshit of keeping the kids in the bad situation hoping to see her parents realize the errors of their ways and change but it just made things worse.
Her parents are a perfect example of the people who post on facebook that their kids are their world but also wont do a damn thing to get custody of them back.
Also obligatory "i think she was touched as a child" in the care of her parents because it all makes sense to me and i want to roll around in the amber shit pile too, because the board was too slow for too long and i wish to flail about.
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2019
Zachary Michael better have EMTs on standby if he tries to recreate this sodium disaster. I keep wondering just how she arrived at the magical combination of garlic salt, onion powder, onion flakes, and pepper. We have all watched a ton of her videos by now, and I keep thinking that these spices and herbs go all the way back to the beginning videos - that is, she has never experimented over time to arrive at these; it's like they just popped into existence when she started cooking on camera.
I also want to add that she still hasn't properly shown the size of those rings. I'm sure we'll get more boring minutes of that shit in future vlogs, though.
If she really wants to get some views, I think a severed finger arc would work: with her ayx-pertlaygos knife skillz, it would be so easy to do. Then we also get bonus ER time as well, along with surgery to sew it back on, as the "gf" held things together enough to fill a ziploc with ice and toss the finger in it. Or the EMTs did, whatever it takes.Hell, I might watch the ads on that series of videos. MamaMeth can be a spacial guest star in a couple of episodes, and Big Al can see her again in person after 2+years. PT will consist of her daintily picking up Gator Chips and sucking them into that hole in her face.
I also want to add that she still hasn't properly shown the size of those rings. I'm sure we'll get more boring minutes of that shit in future vlogs, though.
If she really wants to get some views, I think a severed finger arc would work: with her ayx-pert
Thumb Butler
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2019
I do. She's just a total idiot that got lucky on Youtube (like Onision, the waterhead perv).
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2020
Nah, then she'd actually have binge eating disorder.
- Joined
- Jun 3, 2021
She's got I-do-what-I-fucking-want disorder which is exacerbated by her lucky-and-wealthy-beyond-normal-comprehension condition.
foodbaby
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2019
I don't doubt that she was assigned one of the older Mcgraw-Hill Editions as a kid.
I feel like she just picked the first one that showed up in an Amazon search.
I know Amber loves to consume random junk, but a 4th grade reading book really takes the cake (no pun intended).
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2019
In the video she makes a comment about the engagement rings
Becky seriously has to spill the tea even if she's a spineless cuck, Amber is constantly dabbing on her like there is no tomorrow.
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2020
I know no one cares about the ring size thing, but I did notice convenient cuts between showing the ring and putting it on. And another convenient "molment" where the ring size thing is out of frame while she moves the dog toy.