Russian Invasion of Ukraine Megathread

[Safir]

My theory (sourced straight outta my ass) is that Moscow is a bad city for dog walking - so cats are on average overrepresented as pets compared to many other places. And a capitol city influences the broader culture.

Most cities are bad for dog walking and dog keeping. Russians live in apartments, an apartment is no place for a dog.

I've seen several cope posts suggesting that Russia doesn't want to take Kiev, they don't want to conquer the country

Russia doesn't want to take Kiev because they - we - can't conquer Ukraine and hold it, we can only make peace (with whom?) and fuck off (to where?).
"with whom" doesn't matter much, because even if Zelensky is deposed and a Russian puppet installed, Eurofags will pour enough money into the country that the next president will be a eurocrat.
As for "to where", a five-star win condition is getting the Azov coast, thus fulfilling Putin's stated goal of "denazification" (making Azov associated with shame). But really Russia only needs DPR/LPR (the stated reason for the spesh op) and water (the real reason for the spesh op).

We are in a time line where I'm almost certain that Kadyrov's candidacy for Putin's secession is still on the table, along with many other cunts. Which will lead to Caliphate of Moscow.

Out of the question. Plus Kadyrov himself doesn't aspire to presidency of infidels, he's having fun playing a strategy game on easy with an infinite money cheat. He's a patriarchal ruler ruling his perfect country of perfect people in a very hands-on manner, a very trad lifestyle supported entirely by Russian cucks' reparashuns.

The population of Chechnya grew 50% over 20 years and now comprises 1.5M, tied fifth for population among Russia's ethnicities, and third by share of languages in absolute terms. No other ethnicity in Russia is winning against the globohomo as decisively as them (and only three out of over 100 can be said to be winning at all).

Internationally, Kadyrov presents himself as a ruler of an independent Islamic state (which is true). Russian laws do not apply in Chechnya or to Chechens. When a Russian commits a crime in Chechnya, Chechen authorities deal with him. When a Chechen commits a crime elsewhere in Russia, Chechen authorities deal with him. But under no circumstances does Kadyrov want to hear that somewhere in Irkutsk a Slav beat another Slav to death with a dildo.

I doubt caliphate of moscow would go over well for a country that has vaunted a hardline christian orthodoxy, it would cause revolt.

Russia is not hardline orthodox in the slightest, but caliphate of Moscow will indeed not go well. Ethnic segregation is an important tenet of the Russo-Chechen alliance. Breaking it will cause a pointless conflict which no one wants.

Has it, though? What does church attendance look like in Russia these days?

Exactly.

Sentiment is that Russian muslims are benign. And yet we've all had seen time and time again that there are ways to make people hate each other with nationalism, religion and many other reasons.

Which Muslims? There are cultural Muslims (Tatars) who are indistinguishable from Slavs aside from the odd nationalist kook, ethnically separate Muslim nations (Chechnya, Dagestan, Ingushetia) which are dangerous and who Russia proper has an uneasy alliance with (made worse by Chechnya fucking with the other two), and Muslim migrants (who are hardworking but have problems common to migrants, including no desire for and no real pathway to assimilation).

Lolno. Only 6% of Russians attend Church several times a month.

No way. Only 4% say they visit church (not necessarily services) outside of Christmas, Easter and significant life events, and 4% say they attend services at all. 6% of regular attendees is a massive overestimate.

And Yuan is an extremely manipulated currency, not good for trade.

Why? I'm not good at jew magic, but as I see it, a currency is bad for trade if it's volatile. The yuan is not.

 

[Corpun]

>Come into thread
>Russia has pushed further into Ukrainian stronghold cities
>Check battle maps
>More Ukrainian holdouts surrounded and under siege
>Read thread
>UKRAINE IS WINNING GUYZ RUSSIA BOGGED DOWN!

Everyday it's like that.

If one day Putin wakes up particulary angry and says "nuke kiveve NOW", he first has to go through his generals, who then have to go through a shit ton of more people, who then have to coordinate together and then have to actually get the nukes working over at a control base, who then have to all decide to push the button at the same time.

Unfortunately these niggers don't understand chains of command. Back when Trump was in charge they thought the same thing, that any day he could angrily nuke China or Iran on a whim because his feelings got hurt or something. I blame Hollywood for this.

Well, Crimea has never really wanted to be Ukrainian, for example, in 1991 when the USSR began to break apart, the population of Crimea voted for absolute independence and received 94% support.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1991_Crimean_sovereignty_referendum
So, having no choice to be independent in 2014, the second best option was to become part of Russia.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Declaration_of_Independence_of_the_Republic_of_Crimea

If you mention that some retard will sperg how Russia genocided Crimea to get their way or something, and ignore that Crimeans never wanted to be part of Ukraine and never were fore the 50s.

“Ireland’s sorrow and pain is now the Ukraine and St. Patrick’s name is now Zelensky,” -- Bono

Oh wow, Bono has weighed in! I think it's all over for Russia. They should surrender immediately. I mean Nancy Pelosi read this devastating Bono poem on the air. Seriously, I'll be shocked if after hearing it Putin doesn't immediately hang himself.

Who the fuck is Bono?

BONUS: French farmers protest against rising gas prices. Lmao at the big blue tractor with small wheels

Do the French always need something to protest over to live? Every other day they sperg over something.

 

[The best and greatest]

Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time there were two neighbouring countries with (mostly) the same language and ethnicity. One was much larger. For decades it had been engaged in political hostility with a global superpower. Its tiny neighbour, on the other hand, was a vassal of that global order, and sat threateningly right up against its borders. The leaders of the larger country, seeing that their superpower enemy was busy with severe crises back home and overseas, decided to invade their vulnerable neighbour and finally unite their people under one flag. It would be trivially easy. Not only did their own country boast overwhelming population size, but most of their neighbours were ethnic kinsmen who would surely throw down their arms (if they even bothered to pick them up in the first place) and joyously celebrate their liberation from their imperial oppressors. It wasn't like the smaller country had any real history or nationhood that distinguished it from theirs, nothing worth defending anyway. It would be, in their leader's words, a "mere matter of marching": all they'd have to do would be to parade across the border, and the war would end before it even began.

Not even the defenders' leadership believed they'd stand a chance, as their own estimation of the loyalty of their people was pessimistic indeed. Would they support a brothers' war against those who were effectively their own countrymen? Many of them had lived in the larger country, or had even been born there. As invasion became more and more inevitable, the situation was grim.

However, shockingly to both sides, the larger country's military operation was much more shambolic than anyone expected. Not only did support for the invasion not materialize among the defending population, but the invaders' reliance on huge numbers of poor-quality militiamen, who often fled at the first sign of trouble or simply refused to advance, hindered them greatly. On the other side, the outnumbered defenders were led, equipped and supported by* one of the world's most powerful militaries. The "mere matter of marching" became long and bloody. Both sides used merciless ethnic minorities from the hinterlands to terrorize and brutalize their opponents. However, though the invaders were able to capture and lay waste to several cities, in the end their goals were never met, and their long-awaited unification with their "compatriots" never occurred.

The irony of the invasion was that, in the long term, it accomplished the opposite of the invaders' goals. Rather than uniting their similar peoples, it drove a wedge between them and set the two countries on separate paths for centuries to come. Though largely forgotten elsewhere, the war became a founding myth for the smaller country, which had been, until that point, an expression on a map and nothing more.

But enough about the War of 1812, let's talk about the Russo-Ukrainian War...

*

Spoiler

Yes, the place was defended by British regular troops, so the camparison only goes so far, but that would give it away too soon. Shhh.{/SPOULER]

Wasn't Canada Geographically bigger than the USA back then too?

 

[doesnotglow]

Members of the EU parliament are trying to nominate Zelensky for the Nobel Peace Prize. That's right, they guy begging the world to start WWIII by imposing a no-fly zone is the guy they want to be nominated for a peace prize.

 

[DumbDude42]

Members of the EU parliament are trying to nominate Zelensky for the Nobel Peace Prize. That's right, they guy begging the world to start WWIII by imposing a no-fly zone is the guy they want to be nominated for a peace prize.

NPP is a complet joke anyway
remember when they gave it to obama for being a nigger? or when they literally gave it to themselves (the EU) and had a big collective wank about how great they are? it's laughable all around

 

[Arc]

Why? I'm not good at jew magic, but as I see it, a currency is bad for trade if it's volatile. The yuan is not.
View attachment 3083541

Yeah how are chinkonimics worse than burgeronomy?

 

[Narcotics]

“Ireland’s sorrow and pain is now the Ukraine and St. Patrick’s name is now Zelensky,” -- Bono

Oh wow, Bono has weighed in! I think it's all over for Russia. They should surrender immediately. I mean Nancy Pelosi read this devastating Bono poem on the air. Seriously, I'll be shocked if after hearing it Putin doesn't immediately hang himself.

That's legit the most gayest fucking thing i've read from the whole conflict.

 

[Wy4M]

Not sure if this was already posted
Yuri Gagarin's been censored because you know why.
So don't ever say again "Yuri's night"
but say: "A Celebration of Space: Discover What’s Next.’"

“In light of current world events, the 2022 Space Foundation Yuri’s Night is renamed ‘A Celebration of Space: Discover What’s Next.’”

https://twitter.com/jeff_foust/status/1503751346016735244

Jeff Foust on Twitter: "“In light of current world events, the 2022 S…

archived 18 Mar 2022 15:14:21 UTC

archive.is

 

[The best and greatest]

That's legit the most gayest fucking thing i've read from the whole conflict.

Source? Evidence?

 

[SneedEyeMitch]

Who the fuck is Bono?

A prick.

Source? Evidence?

It's Bono speaking, it's self-evident

 

[borsabil]

That’s retarded, the biolabs were never a secret.

The point of contention was if they were developing WEAPONS in the labs, which they declined, and the Russians can’t provide evidence of weapons because they ate the samples.

It’s like “discovering” a nuclear facility and claiming it’s used for nuclear weapons.

The worst incident to happen there was a certain flulike crown shaped virus escaping from the Kherson biolab, but that’s irrelevant

No it's like finding a shit ton enriched Uranium and assuming that it can only possibly be used to make electricity. I mean the United States Defense Department using pathogens to make weapons? Who could think of such a thing? It's far more likely that the US military are just funding peaceful research, I mean obviously!

Anyway cope harder burger.

 

[kuuu]

Out of the question.

Sure hope so. But you can't deny the guy is popular. And he will become even more so with time. Even a clown can be a president nowadays.

(Chechnya, Dagestan, Ingushetia) which are dangerous

Well, that's exactly my sentiment. They can be turned extremist real fucking fast.
Right now they are pretty benign, I'm saying that from personal experience. Lot of it. Worked with gastarbaiters from all of those groups and more. There is some prejudice in the society which works both ways, but they want the same things like everyone else. As to how muslim they are, they go to the mosque on their big religious holidays, they don't eat pork... and that's it for your average Bakha. I also know all that by drinking with these people. No one even knows what 'taqiya' is.

 

[hooboy]

Spoiler: skeleton

A prick.
It's Bono speaking, it's self-evident

he’s actually a literal piece of shit

 

[hooboy]

No it's like finding a shit ton enriched Uranium and assuming that it can only possibly be used to make electricity. I mean the United States Defense Department using pathogens to make weapons? Who could think of such a thing? It's far more likely that the US military are just funding peaceful research, I mean obviously!

Anyway cope harder burger.

lol Russians don’t know what science is

 

[Meat Target]

That’s retarded, the biolabs were never a secret.

The point of contention was if they were developing WEAPONS in the labs, which they declined, and the Russians can’t provide evidence of weapons because they ate the samples.

It’s like “discovering” a nuclear facility and claiming it’s used for nuclear weapons.

The worst incident to happen there was a certain flulike crown shaped virus escaping from the Kherson biolab, but that’s irrelevant

They (the US government and their media mouthpieces) have lied about basically everything in my lifetime; "Saddam has WMDs", "Hope and Change", "the NSA is not spying on Americans", "muh Russian Collusion", "Covid didn't come from a lab", "mostly peaceful protests", and "Hunter Biden's laptop is Russian disinformation".

They lied about all that, and faced zero consequences. There is no reason for me to believe they are telling the truth about biolabs.

"But Putin lies, too!"

Putin doesn't claim moral or legal dominion over me. He's an asshole, but he's not the one hellbent on enslaving me or sending me into the meat grinder.

 

[Mr Processor]

No it's like finding a shit ton enriched Uranium and assuming that it can only possibly be used to make electricity. I mean the United States Defense Department using pathogens to make weapons? Who could think of such a thing? It's far more likely that the US military are just funding peaceful research, I mean obviously!

Anyway cope harder burger.

Remember when the US bombed "baby milk factories" claiming they were bioweapon facilities?

 

[Spicey McHaggis]

That's legit the most gayest fucking thing i've read from the whole conflict.

If Russia gives Bono a taste of polonium, every country on earth should give the assassin their highest national award. At the very least, it needs to be worth getting a few sanctions dropped.

 

[hooboy]

They (the US government and their media mouthpieces) have lied about basically everything in my lifetime; "Saddam has WMDs", "Hope and Change", "the NSA is not spying on Americans", "muh Russian Collusion", "Covid didn't come from a lab", "mostly peaceful protests", and "Hunter Biden's laptop is Russian disinformation".

They lied about all that, and faced zero consequences. There is no reason for me to believe they are telling the truth about biolabs.

"But Putin lies, too!"

Putin doesn't claim moral or legal dominion over me. He's an asshole, but he's not the one hellbent on enslaving me or sending me into the meat grinder.

good for you I guess

 

[Meat Target]

good for you I guess

I have this esoteric talent called "pattern recognition". Those who don't have this talent often call it being a "conspiracy theorist".

 

[Sharklaser]

Wasn't Canada Geographically bigger than the USA back then too?

Not the relevant inhabited areas (which consisted of a few patches of land along the Saint Lawrence). Population-wise BNA had c. 500 000 people compared to the c. 8 000 000 in the United States, a population ratio even more skewed than Russia-Ukraine today. Including militas, the USA had about half a million men it could have potentially fielded, roughly the entire population of Canada.