- Joined
- Oct 28, 2015
Shamelessly stolen from r/shitmomgroupssay.
Community Trendy Pregnancy / Snowflake Mommas and Their Batshit Birthing Practices - Because hospital birth is sooo last season
- Thread starter Snusmumriken
- Start date
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2022
Mfs really be cumming to cope with labor. Smh.
- Joined
- Oct 16, 2020
Keep those dolphins away from me!
I on the other hand will make to be surrounded by only the best fertility crystals.
I on the other hand will make to be surrounded by only the best fertility crystals.
- Joined
- Jul 28, 2019
By removing humans from religion their irrationality and superstition aren't getting removed. They fill the void of established religion with something that is considered socially higher status. This is being "unique" snowflake. The birthing practices resemble neo-pagan rituals that are fueled by basic bitch nature of women.
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
yeah I think its a backlash towards hospital births to be fair hospital births are kind of shitty in their own way, although they had even worse practices like twilight sleep in the early 20th century, they would give moms I believe ketamine to sort of knock the woman out so she wouldn't suffer in the pain of childbirth. many mothers reported that didn't even remember the birth of their own kid. personally it was probably a blessing for some . now its like women are going back to the days where using pain relief was a bad thing, only the different excuse is its natural, not because the pain of child birth is the natural punishment due to eve eating the forbidden fruit.I really hate this internet culture surrounding pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood. Everyone must have anatural
I honestly do not understand how these women think it is empowering to give birth this way. Like fuck please give me the strongest epidural you can and load me up on the pain meds. Cesarean? Okay so whatever it takes to get my baby out without one of us dying. Nobody gives a shit how you give birth, people only care about the health of mom and baby. And when you willingly go out of your way to deny professional care and sanitary conditions to birth your child, you don’t deserve a kid.
I kind of think its fucked up to endure pain in childbirth because its a natural choice, sure many people did it since the dawn of time, but to be given a choice to not endure or endure pain in labor, an we here in 2022 are willing to choose the stupid route. we could solve the world energy crisis from all the people spinning in their graves. its like tha antivaxxers, vaccines aren;t natural but they save lives.
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2022
Women deserve the pain. It is punishment for original sin.
Pigtoad
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2020
Some women go absolutely bonkers from pregnancy, posting pictures of earth inside a pregnant belly and ranting about being givers of life.
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
men also deserve a kick in the balls monthly for taking the fruit from eve in the first place.
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2022
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2019
I agree that the distrust of doctors isn’t completely unfounded. Ever since watching that documentary about the thalidomide tragedy I can’t shake the wariness I have about unnecessary prescriptions but imo it really comes down to risk assessment. A lot of these women are reporting quite alarming symptoms like heavy bleeding and headaches and they’re using crystal woo bullshit to try and fix it instead of even consulting a medical professional.
I think the true evil in all this is other women (and occasionally men) who profit off of new mothers’ anxieties. Oh, you’re having seizures in your third trimester? I can help you meditate that away but you’ll have to cough up $100 first. You wouldn’t want a big scary doctor to examine you, would you? Horrible.
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
the more I research in youtube to add to this thread the more I feel like this birth shit is just an impregnation fetish masked as new age bullshit instead.
the deeper the rabbit hole goes the more disturbed I become.
there's one video I even reported to the cyber tip line because it was just fucked up.
. call me crazy but I don't think kids need to view their moms looking like bears shitting in a stream while giving birth. like alot of the themes involved with most of the videos on youtube that I am researching to add to this thread to prove my point its a fetish has two catagories, giving birth outside, or using weird fetishitic methods to deal with child birth, the worst part is the kids see this kind of shit and be involved in some way. Like I get it kids need to know about babies and how mommy has them, but they don't need to see the graphic details at 5. some of the videos on youtube feel like stuff you'd find in a vhs tape in a sex dungeon after liberating 3 kidnapped women for being held hostage long term.
for the same price you'd pay for a doula you can get a midwife if your that scared of going to a hospital, and want a home birth, atleast get a midwife, a midwife has actual medical training atleast in my state. call me crazy here but I kind of trust the profession that lasted since the age of man, versus some new agey bullshit.
the deeper the rabbit hole goes the more disturbed I become.
there's one video I even reported to the cyber tip line because it was just fucked up.
. call me crazy but I don't think kids need to view their moms looking like bears shitting in a stream while giving birth. like alot of the themes involved with most of the videos on youtube that I am researching to add to this thread to prove my point its a fetish has two catagories, giving birth outside, or using weird fetishitic methods to deal with child birth, the worst part is the kids see this kind of shit and be involved in some way. Like I get it kids need to know about babies and how mommy has them, but they don't need to see the graphic details at 5. some of the videos on youtube feel like stuff you'd find in a vhs tape in a sex dungeon after liberating 3 kidnapped women for being held hostage long term.
yeah I don't trust doulas, and their new age shit.
for the same price you'd pay for a doula you can get a midwife if your that scared of going to a hospital, and want a home birth, atleast get a midwife, a midwife has actual medical training atleast in my state. call me crazy here but I kind of trust the profession that lasted since the age of man, versus some new agey bullshit.
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2020
What if..........
You BIRTH your BABBY
And dolphin sais EEEEEEEEEE
........and RAPED IT
You BIRTH your BABBY
And dolphin sais EEEEEEEEEE
........and RAPED IT
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
dolphins are assholesWhat if..........
You BIRTH your BABBY
And dolphin sais EEEEEEEEEE
........and RAPED IT
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2019
Dolphins are real and they tried to rape my baby
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2016
I think it’s fucked up how in America anybody can call themselves a midwife even if they don’t have any midwifery qualification. Here in Bongland lay midwives straight up aren’t a thing, you can only be a midwife if you do a 3-year bachelor’s degree in midwifery. I think it’s a lot safer for everyone involved that way.
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2019
Might be interesting here. Robyn advertised her midwife for Luna seems she caused the death of another child as well.
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- Joined
- Mar 15, 2019
Holy shit. I haven’t checked the Robyn thread updates in a long time. This is crazy
double second
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 30, 2020
I’m not any kind of authority on birth as a gay guy, but I do know that unassisted birth is nuts. I came across the fascinating Mills family a few years ago via their "how we fit six boys in one bedroom" video. The family is a Quiverfull homeschooling homechurching home-based business unassisted birth family in rural Wyoming. Dad runs some kind of computer business while Mom made videos about running her house and homeschooling her kids (using ACE curriculum, the most insane “educational” material I have ever encountered that is designed to ensure no learning ever occurs), where you can’t hear anyone talking over the audio Bible that pays throughout the house 24/7. Mom didn’t believe in medical care and had an epic collection of expensive and mostly expired herbs instead. Other interesting beliefs include “Sandy Hook was a hoax” and “being massively wasteful is ok because of the Law of Conservation of Matter," among other things. Mom Andrea died a few years ago, miraculously not of unassisted birth or another easily preventable cause but of an unusual cancer that is so silent and vicious that even routine medical care wouldn’t have caught it.
Anyways, about the birth stuff. Her first child was born in a hospital and she gradually strayed away from safe births, vaccinations, and routine medical care with each subsequent child. Her last 2 kids were unassisted births, and a third was an attempted unassisted birth but she chickened out and had her at a hospital, which the family deeply regretted despite the fact that it resulted in a living, healthy baby. She was pregnant with baby 10 when she died, who was also going to be born unassisted. She made several videos about diy prenatal care, which included taking measuring the bump, some kind of pee test, and using a home doppler to hear the baby’s heartbeat. She always needed a rhogam shot, which she would just get sometime after the birth from the local doctor, which is fine but getting her children's cavities and ear infections treated isn't I guess. Her reasoning for unassisted birthing is that hospital births are stupid because “sometimes men die of heart attacks during orgasm, so why don’t they have to do that in hospitals?” Dad assisted the births (with dirty hands, dirty shoes, dirty jeans, and a dirty polo), stupidly running around and ceremoniously praying at the right times.
These days, Dad spends a lot of time live-streaming “sermons” for the other 23 wackadoodles who share their precise cultish beliefs, which interestingly are pretty different from other Quiverfull families, and being mean to his non-favorite children while the older boys parent the kids.
Anyways, about the birth stuff. Her first child was born in a hospital and she gradually strayed away from safe births, vaccinations, and routine medical care with each subsequent child. Her last 2 kids were unassisted births, and a third was an attempted unassisted birth but she chickened out and had her at a hospital, which the family deeply regretted despite the fact that it resulted in a living, healthy baby. She was pregnant with baby 10 when she died, who was also going to be born unassisted. She made several videos about diy prenatal care, which included taking measuring the bump, some kind of pee test, and using a home doppler to hear the baby’s heartbeat. She always needed a rhogam shot, which she would just get sometime after the birth from the local doctor, which is fine but getting her children's cavities and ear infections treated isn't I guess. Her reasoning for unassisted birthing is that hospital births are stupid because “sometimes men die of heart attacks during orgasm, so why don’t they have to do that in hospitals?” Dad assisted the births (with dirty hands, dirty shoes, dirty jeans, and a dirty polo), stupidly running around and ceremoniously praying at the right times.
These days, Dad spends a lot of time live-streaming “sermons” for the other 23 wackadoodles who share their precise cultish beliefs, which interestingly are pretty different from other Quiverfull families, and being mean to his non-favorite children while the older boys parent the kids.
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
chances are if you were, your in a new age cult that may not even have access to the internet in a normal way that wouldn't break your parents world view. I'd be pretty upset if me mom decided the best way to give birth to me was squatting in the woods in a stream and uploaded it on youtube.
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2019
Water birth, at least in the sense of giving birth in a shallow pool of warm water, not a fucking jacuzzi, is totally fine. Even in non sterile environments.
I don't know how to tell y'all this but birth is not sterile in the slightest. I don't mean this in the "oh there's woman juice" but like, it's not uncommon for women to shit themselves in the process. There's blood and shit and sweat and like okay, you got a little bit of that water heater gunk. The babies gonna be okay.
Pregnancies are also a pretty long affair. Most medical concerns aren't the immediate, "you just ripped open your fucking intestinal track" levels of bad, but have a pretty long time between knowing something is wrong and shit hitting the fan. This is point of the role of a midwife which when combined with prior imaging will pretty much insure you'll at least know when to go to the ER
A lot of the stuff on this list is batshit insane, some stuff is a bit weird. Hypnotism for example, sounds stupid but similar shit comes from pain management all the time. Some of this stuff, like water births, should probably be rephrased to "underwater births". Otherwise it sounds like you are taking exception with one of the most common and milquetoast alternative births out there. Humans have been giving birth for centuries, but this is the first time we've had the choice between doing it in the forest vs on the rug vs in the nice bathtub with warm water that makes clean up easier. It's why it's such a great choice for suicide.