Household tips and tricks! - Are you having trouble getting the wine stains out of your carpet? Do you clean your cookware with something extraordinary? Come share!

[Dick Justice]

lotta bloodstain experts in this thread

 

[Grub]

I have a clogged upstairs toilet right now. The clog is obviously deep, but the downstairs toilet directly below still flushes fine, so it's not THAT deep. I tried Power Plunger (which always works for slow or clogged bathtub drains), a pressurized air gizmo, baking soda and vinegar, and a product called Green Gobbler. I can't use a caustic drain opener because I have and old house with cast iron pipes (learned that the hard way). I do not want to call a plumber if I can possible avoid it. Any advice? (I still have to remember where I put my drain snake.)

Last time I tried one of those power plungers in a toilet it was horrible. The block was too much and the pressure blasted back up blasting shit water everywhere. I'd recommend finding the drain snake. That ended up working for me.

 

[General Disarray]

If you often get grease around your stove backsplash/the microwave vent/etc. and don't mind breaking out the strong stuff, Zep Fast 505 is a wonder. I use it for just about everything: scrub out the tub/toilet ring, use with a melamine sponge in the microwave, soak the vent filter in it, clean out the bong - it's awesome!

 

[Nonconsentual Pronouns]

Water your houseplants from underneath from a dish; don't pour water directly into the soil. This will drastically reduce your odds of getting fruitflies indoors as well as protect your plant's health.

 

[Snusmumriken]

lotta bloodstain experts in this thread

Which is weird, since we know women aren’t allowed on Kiwi Farms

 

[Elysian]

Dishwasher cleaner is really good at cleaning toilets.

Also I heard you can use supermarket own brand cola to clean drains. Or technically regular Coca-Cola too but that’d be needlessly expensive for something you’re gonna pour down the drain.

 

[LoudmouthLisa]

Get water rings out of your table by making a paste out of baking soda and warm water. Leave it on for about five to ten minutes, then gently wipe off. If it's a real stubborn ring you can try gently scrubbing with your finger, but baking soda is abrasive so be careful.

 

[Snack Cracker]

Water your houseplants from underneath from a dish; don't pour water directly into the soil. This will drastically reduce your odds of getting fruitflies indoors as well as protect your plant's health.

Butt chug those bad boys.

Laundry detergent doesn’t do badly as mopping soap in a pinch, and most liquid detergents have cleaning enzymes in them anyways.

 

[Pecker Head.]

-Clean bongs and pipes with rubbing alcohol (I find 91% works best) and salt. You can also use uncooked rice instead of salt, but if your piece has a percolator I don’t recommend rice. Shake the shit out of it, rinse with hot water. Use purified water in bongs to prevent hard water build up. If there is hard water build up, rinse with vinegar.

-Cut the band off of an old pair of underwear and put it around your garbage can to prevent the bag from slipping.

 

[Shig O'nella]

I don't know how, but I have a ton of nasty, hard, raised, build up in my toilet. It's super gross and nothing will touch it. Not even elbow grease and clr! Any suggestions? I'm desperate.

Edit: and this probably should have been a pm. Oh well, mock away.

Wander down to the auto supply place. Buy a pint of battery acid. You'll need about half a cup of the acid. Pour it into the toilet bowl, trying to spread it around over the build up. Leave for 30 minutes, then scrub with a cheap toilet brush. Flush, repeat in the unlikely event you need to.
You can also use hydrochloric acid if that is easier to get, but battery acid is available everywhere and won't react with any rubber seals downstream of the toilet.

 

[murph]

I really like enzymatic cleaners for kitchen cleanup, they're truly fantastic at cleaning up grease. No fake lemon scent, and they really do work very well to get your stove and surroundings squeaky clean. They're sold in concentrated form, you get a spray bottle and mix it with water. Spray on, wait 10 minutes, clean it off with a wet rag.

I hate gimmicky stuff but this has worked for me.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

I have a clogged upstairs toilet right now. The clog is obviously deep, but the downstairs toilet directly below still flushes fine, so it's not THAT deep. I tried Power Plunger (which always works for slow or clogged bathtub drains), a pressurized air gizmo, baking soda and vinegar, and a product called Green Gobbler. I can't use a caustic drain opener because I have and old house with cast iron pipes (learned that the hard way). I do not want to call a plumber if I can possible avoid it. Any advice? (I still have to remember where I put my drain snake.)

Pour about a cup of dish soap in the bowl and flush. Wait a few hours or overnight, then, pour a gallon of boiling water in and flush. You may need to repeat this a few times, but it will work. The water *has* to be boiling.

A few years ago, the Internet went insane for this cleaning formula that is 1 ts Tide powder detergent and 1/3 cup bleach.

It's witchcraft. I use it to mop, wash walls, litter boxes, clean the toilets, cupboards- the whole shebang.

 

[spastic_bag]

Citric acid

Came here just to mention that most things one would use vinegar for would also work with citric acid, but with much less acrid stank.

 

[Miss Misery]

Pour about a cup of dish soap in the bowl and flush. Wait a few hours or overnight, then, pour a gallon of boiling water in and flush. You may need to repeat this a few times, but it will work. The water *has* to be boiling.

Be careful with boiling water in the toilet, that's kind of the last place you want cracked porcelain.

(That said, it DOES work. Just... exercise caution.)

 

[behindyourightnow]

I was just going to say, VINEGAR is truly multi faceted. Smelly clothes in the laundry? Windows need to be clean? A surface needs to be wiped off but not disinfected? Stain on the carpet or rust stains- baking soda and vinegar and BAM that shit is gone!

Baking soda AND vinegar? Doesn't that cause a (metaphorical) explosion?

Which is weird, since we know women aren’t allowed on Kiwi Farms

They SAY men commit 90% of murders, but actually it's just that women are better at removing bloodstains from everything.

 

[yoshikage]

In the same vein as using cold water, if you are at home when you realize you have blood on your clothes, I find the easiest and best way to ensure no staining is to (if possible) throw the clothes straight into your shower and start flushing them with water until most blood is removed then scrubbing and continuing to flush them with water. This should only take about 30-40 seconds until the water starts to run clear and the blood is removed. Wring out all the excess water from your clothes and then they are good to be washed with no evidence of blood. Rinse out your shower and it should be fine with regular cleaning schedules.

ETA: Baking soda AND vinegar? Doesn't that cause a (metaphorical) explosion?

It will cause a bubbling reaction on the site of the stain that helps with cleaning but you won't use enough to have a child's volcano experiment.

 

[Oscar Winner]

Great thread!

The only things I can think of right now that haven't been mentioned already:

Dishwasher tablets are great for a few things. Stinky drains/floor waste traps, slow emptying basins etc. Dissolve in hot water, poor it in, and let sit for a bit.

Kitchen grease on higher surfaces, like the top of the fridge/cupboards etc. I put down a layer of plastic food wrap. Cleaning that stuff is a job I absolutely loathe, and it takes 10 minutes to remove and reapply instead of being a huge production.

Dents in the carpet from furniture - if you put ice on the dents, let it sit for a while, scrub with a stiff brush, and then soak up the water with a towel or whatever. Works even better if you do it before getting the carpet cleaned. Edit: if you have loop pile carpet, scraping with a spoon or something blunt might work better than a brush. My mate had very short, tight looped carpet and that worked better.

Barkeepers Friend and citric acid have already been mentioned, so I'll just add... if you've used multiple products and they didn't work, it may be the pH of the product vs the pH of whatever you're trying to clean. Most products are alkaline, which is why people rave about BKF, because they've literally tried everything else and finally found something that worked. (That person may have also been me...)

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

Tar stains come out with Eucalyptus oil. Glue and grease stains come out with lighter fluid. Wiping your fridge or microwave with a mix of bicarbonate and water is a good non-taint cleaner (many cleaning products leave a smell behind). Cat litter and/or bicarbonate is great for deodorising stuff. Graphite pencil rubbed on metal joints that are locked (eg zips) makes a better lubricant than grease. Wipe the top of metal curtain rails with a light coat of furniture Polish to keep curtain rings sliding freely. Stick your shower head in a bag of vinegar to clean out the nozzles.

You’re fucked if you spill gloss paint on your carpet though.

 

[Sir Bartleby Montclair]

When I moved into my current place, I had issues with the dishes in the dishwasher smelling like wet dog forever. Almost everything the internet told me to do failed except using white vinegar in place of rinse aid. You should also avoid putting anything that had egg on it in there if you can, but if I have to hand wash the dishes I’ll die, so in the vinegar goes.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Be careful with boiling water in the toilet, that's kind of the last place you want cracked porcelain.

(That said, it DOES work. Just... exercise caution.)

Especially if you live in a cold climate. Really cold climate. A part of the toilet might launch itself across the bathroom or cold old pipes might crack downstream.

No matter how desperate you are, never clean your hair with pure dish soap. If you dilute just a little bit with lots of warm water and really ladder it up... it still won't work. Do the same thing but add a bit of olive oil to offset the effect and I'm still not going to try it I've learned my lesson.
If you want an experience and don't have anything going on for a couple of days I recommend washing your hair with dish soap. Your hair will audibly crackle with electricity and that really is something.

Spoiler: You will also look like this...

...and there is nothing you can do about it.