My side of the story
TW (sexual discussion, pedophilia, past trauma)
Over the past few days, there's been a lot of talk about me soliciting and grooming a minor for photos, videos, etc. And not to mention chat logs that document our entire conversation. Obviously, this person I talked to turned out to be fake, someone just out to manipulate me into sharing personal and intimate details. And obviously the things being spread about me are not even close to the whole truth. I realize many people already have a bad opinion of me, so take this how you will. But I'm not here to earn sympathy or spout BS. I'm here to share what actually happened, and to give you the bigger picture.
To make a long story short, I was a victim of catfishing. Someone posed as someone trying to get my attention and flirt with me, and be sexually forward with me, just so I would share my private and most intimate information, as well as expose myself through explicit pictures and messages. The person who catfished me claimed they were 19, and me being 31, that's already a red flag. The fact that they were so interested in me despite the age gap should have been another red flag. And though I was cautious at first, defusing the conversations when they turned too risque, they were still very forward with me through the entire interaction. But I was too oblivious to notice the obvious warning signs because I was lonely and wanted attention and affirmation, and that's where they had me.
We discussed the age gap between us and I also talked to friends. My goal was to make sure everything was consensual and healthy between us. I was told it was not pedophilia to go after someone that much younger but I didn't understand at the time that it could be seen as creepy for other reasons, which I understand at this point. They were also very quick to ask personal questions such as my kinks, and other things of sexual nature that I was not expecting. I ended up sharing this information despite that considering that I still thought it was harmless conversation, and I'm usually very open sexually. Our conversation, at this point had turned very sexual and explicit in nature. Again, this was a 19 year old I was supposedly talking to, and being a intimacy/attention starved person prone to making impulsive decisions, they took advantage of that, and made sure I was on the hook the whole time. I am to blame in this as well, since I did request she send pictures of what she was wearing and perpetuated the conversation to its conclusion. As of now, the entire chatlog, including these conversations, are now public knowledge.
At some point later, I became wary of this person's identity after confiding in someone I was very close to and explaining the situation. I wanted to keep talking to this person since they were fun to talk to and might make a good friend. But something was off. My confidant suggested that they send a video of themselves to prove who they are. (Nothing sexual or explicit, just something saying they were a real person). At this point, the catfish basically said they couldn't do that, because of a past trauma, and they were uncomfortable. Keep in mind this was after they had aggressively flirted with me and were open to ask me about my kinks AND sexted with me earlier that day, of their own volition. This is when I had decided to cut off communication with this person entirely, since they were not willing to verify their identity.
The next day came, and after thinking about the situation again, I felt bad for them. I apologized for pressuring them so much to send a video, and sympathized with their situation. They also told me about the trauma she had supposedly went through with one of her exes. I promised her I would not pressure her for a video to verify her identity from that point forward. Then I noticed that the trolls somehow knew of our conversation from posts made on twitter. I was worried that she would be targeted by trolls and basically told her we need to stop talking, for her sake so they wouldn't get her involved. This person, obviously with the goal of perpetuating this fake relationship, begged me not to leave. I told her that at this point, any conversations need to be down in DMs only, and no further public contact should be made.
From this point forward, the cycle continued, including the sexual conversations. Of course, I went along with it, and while she sent me pictures of herself (including a shot of her rubbing her vagina) I sent her a picture of my own, which was a picture of me shirtless and in boxer shorts. Thankfully, I didnt send anything worse than that, however I did send a picture of me crossdressing in a Vaporeon themed kimono that I wore as a cosplay. Other than that, no explicit pictures were sent to her at all.
The following day came, and at this point, they needed to share some information with me. They told me they were NOT actually 19, but 16. And that they lied about their age because I wouldn't talk to them otherwise. I immediately blocked them at that point and have made no further attempt at contact. But obviously, this was all fake from the beginning, so now people have an endless supply of ammunition to use against me. They took advantage of me in several areas. They took advantage of my emotional vulnerability, my desperation for attention/affirmation and my trust. They humiliated me sexually and are now trying to leak these private conversations and photos to paint me in the worst light.
I am not blameless in this either. While they were very forward about their intentions, I should have been more assertive in my convictions, and not given them the benefit of the doubt when it was clearly obvious they were posing as an actual person. I try to see the good in everyone so when someone started paying attention to me, and took an interest in me, I embraced it and didnt care. I was getting validation. I could have taken it upon myself not to continue these sexual conversations and seen past what should have been an obvious catfish who was just out to humiliate me later. I don't know who to trust anymore, and I feel personally violated in the worst way possible. And the terrible thing is, this can happen to anyone.
Please. Don't be like me, Don't do what I did. Even if a person seems really convincing and you have no reason to believe they're fake, don't share personal information of any kind with them unless you 100% know they are real. I should have known better, and I am sorry. As of this moment forward, I will not be commenting on, or discussing this further, and I hope you can respect my boundaries and my privacy at this time.
