UnregisteredHypercam2
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2021
That may be the most bland and predictable exchange I've ever read.
- The references to other "hilarious" events that imply this is a regular situation.
- The overconfidence of the main character to the point of being an asshole.
- The fucking boot, a trope that is at least 70 years old.
I actually don't think you could be less creative if you tried. Even a normal exchange where Thor has no wacky animal would be better; it would be a funny moment if you saw Thor waiting in line, at the airport, in his full outfit, for five seconds. The additions he makes to this are just painful.
In fact, reading this was like staring at a blank white piece of paper that your brain eventually starts to see color on. I read through it and started thinking of some way, any way, I would make this better. With that I present a creative writing exercise:
Take one of Patrick's ideas and try to write a more interesting story within it.
The prompt for this one would be "Thor Odinson is going through customs with an otherworldly object/creature and has to declare it. From the clerks attitude, this is not the first time Thor has done this".
I do not think I am a good writer, and you may say the same about yourself, but I promise that if you write anything it will be better than Patrick. I encourage anyone to contribute even if it's the worst thing you ever wrote. Remember, even a situation where absolutely nothing happens is more entertaining.
Here is what I came up with after thinking about it for 20 mins:
----------
Thor approached the customs counter with a potted plant under his arm, almost looking like a fern if not for the strange colorful spots covering it's leaves. Across from him was an older man, holding a pen and form, waiting to ask a few questions.
"Welcome to Norway, what would you like to declare?" the clerk says in a tone identical to everyone else before Thor Odinson, God of Thunder and Lightning.
"Ah! A pleasure to be back home, and a pleasure to see you again High Guard Eddy! My apologies for the last time we met, my brothers' deception seemed to cloud my mind, I thought they were completely harml-"
"What would you like to declare?" Few could stop a speech from Thor, apparently Officer Eddie counted himself amongst them.
"...A Dripping Saber Shrub. The poison is completely negated if you don't think about it! Truly, the poison only gets worse the more you worry! A trophy of mine, you see." Thor's boasts were received by an unchanging expression.
Eddie let out a brief sigh. He met Thor's gaze while putting away his pen and pulling something else from his pocket; A thin, rectangular piece of brass with three interwoven triangles across the face. An object that made the War God himself hold his tongue.
"You have... One of Odin's All Hearing Stones..." Actual gods of death had not heard this level of fear in Thor's voice before. "How did you... What are you planning on doing... with that...?"
"Your dad met with me after last time. He said 'If you ever think my son is going to do something stupid, let me know before anyone else'".
Eddie brought the object in front of his mouth, the triangles lit to life and Thor felt ice in his veins for the first time in a long time.
"What must I do?"
"Get rid of the fern."
A dropkick sent the plant and pot flying through a pane of glass, and Thor looked back to Eddie as if this man was actually about to stop his heart.
"Welcome to Norway, please do have fun." Eddie finally managed to crack a smile before calling the next person.
----------
Thor approached the customs counter with a potted plant under his arm, almost looking like a fern if not for the strange colorful spots covering it's leaves. Across from him was an older man, holding a pen and form, waiting to ask a few questions.
"Welcome to Norway, what would you like to declare?" the clerk says in a tone identical to everyone else before Thor Odinson, God of Thunder and Lightning.
"Ah! A pleasure to be back home, and a pleasure to see you again High Guard Eddy! My apologies for the last time we met, my brothers' deception seemed to cloud my mind, I thought they were completely harml-"
"What would you like to declare?" Few could stop a speech from Thor, apparently Officer Eddie counted himself amongst them.
"...A Dripping Saber Shrub. The poison is completely negated if you don't think about it! Truly, the poison only gets worse the more you worry! A trophy of mine, you see." Thor's boasts were received by an unchanging expression.
Eddie let out a brief sigh. He met Thor's gaze while putting away his pen and pulling something else from his pocket; A thin, rectangular piece of brass with three interwoven triangles across the face. An object that made the War God himself hold his tongue.
"You have... One of Odin's All Hearing Stones..." Actual gods of death had not heard this level of fear in Thor's voice before. "How did you... What are you planning on doing... with that...?"
"Your dad met with me after last time. He said 'If you ever think my son is going to do something stupid, let me know before anyone else'".
Eddie brought the object in front of his mouth, the triangles lit to life and Thor felt ice in his veins for the first time in a long time.
"What must I do?"
"Get rid of the fern."
A dropkick sent the plant and pot flying through a pane of glass, and Thor looked back to Eddie as if this man was actually about to stop his heart.
"Welcome to Norway, please do have fun." Eddie finally managed to crack a smile before calling the next person.
----------
This is not wonderful, but I had fun writing it. I can also say, just like I will say with any other contribution, it's better than Patrick's initial idea. Just like anything anyone writes will be better than Patrick's ideas.
Because he's fat.
Last edited:
