The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Shovel Of Ammunition]

Kevin is still buying new toys as the ranch falls into financial ruin. Its not an addiction, he can quit any time he wants!

 

[Surfin Terf]

They have troon armor. Any organization that tries to intervene will get accused of bullying poor innocent transes who are trying their best in a transphobic world. Cue a new gofundme scam to fight the PETA patriarchy or whatever. It's also harder to get people riled up about neglected livestock (which in this case is occurring mostly off-camera) than, say, a tiktoker hitting her dog. Factor in how overburdened animal welfare organizations and farm sanctuaries have been during the pandemic, and you've got a field full of dead alpacas with no consequences for the monsters who murdered them.

The only question is whether Lagerkommandant Phil will order the liquidation of Alpacawitz or just leave them to starve. Pray for the pacas.

I seriously doubt they'll pay to get them put down. First of all, money. Second of all, it's admitting that they fucked up, even moreso than just abandoning the ranch.

My question though is whether they'll cut down the fence so the alpacas can graze outside the property. Doubt they'll last too long out there, but it would still be interesting. On the one hand it would possibly get them into legal trouble, on the other hand there's no reason to think that they're suddenly considering consequences. It would certainly be a way to get people talking about them and would have some "fuck the police" energy.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Kindness had the powers of a thousand Earls.

Why, what could she have done, being what she is?
Was there another Troy for her to burn?

 

[Bob_]

I seriously doubt they'll pay to get them put down. First of all, money. Second of all, it's admitting that they fucked up, even moreso than just abandoning the ranch.

My question though is whether they'll cut down the fence so the alpacas can graze outside the property. Doubt they'll last too long out there, but it would still be interesting. On the one hand it would possibly get them into legal trouble, on the other hand there's no reason to think that they're suddenly considering consequences. It would certainly be a way to get people talking about them and would have some "fuck the police" energy.

There's no way the local authorities would be happy with 200 herd animals roaming free over roads.

After the first couple of accidents they would have to round them up and charge the landowners accordingly...

Imagine the optics of a roadway littered with alpaca road kill!

 

[SeniorFuckFace]

Please Lord, let the Tranch fall because all these mother fuckers are larping as women and they need to burn in hell.

Thank you.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

If I were even remotely a caricature artist, I'd say this is just begging for a Last Supper style reworking... not sure whether you'd feature Boner or Alyssa as Judas though. We have the enough cast members, right?

1. Kevin
2. Penny
3. Jen
4. Boner
5. Sky
6. Alyssa
7. Gash
8. Wedge
9. Neck
10. Jarrod

Should be able to round out the cast with some outside troons, and I feel like I'm forgetting someone major.

 

[AssignedEva]

Kindness had the powers of a thousand Earls.

I know it's been said before, but you've got to encounter getting burned by an actively malicious Cluster B that you've pissed off in some way to truly appreciate their destructive potential. And the Tranch are not intelligent men.

Kevin is still buying new toys as the ranch falls into financial ruin. Its not an addiction, he can quit any time he wants!

I hope, pray and beg that Penny keeps the grift going and Kevin keeps the denial going for another month, just so Kevin can fly to London on holiday and Penny can up sticks and flee. I think ditching Kevin (and Jen, but you can just ditch Jen at the nearest sewage treatment plant and he'll be fine) is the only way Penny will be able to attempt a clean start.

I'm not saying this out of concern for Penny but just because can you imagine the tweets we'd get off Kevin after he returns to find himself on an abandoned tranch, or to find it repossessed by Bonnie and Kindness and told he's not allowed back in/squarked at by a robot baby?

 

[one_time_user]

Tigerking may inspire them. He shot all the tigers.

 

[Coccxys]

I know it's been said before, but you've got to encounter getting burned by an actively malicious Cluster B that you've pissed off in some way to truly appreciate their destructive potential. And the Tranch are not intelligent men.

I think anyone who has ever encountered a malicious cluster B will agree that euthanasia is the only appropriate "treatment" for those "people". Seriously I'd live with 100 full blown crack addict scizos before I live with another cluster B.

I honestly can't wish for the end of the tranch. We've discussed and theorised about its demise for over 700 pages, during that we've laughed, despaired and shared a whole load of very useful information but as it edges closer I just don't want it to end.

 

[Miss Misery]

1. Kevin
2. Penny
3. Jen
4. Boner
5. Sky
6. Alyssa
7. Gash
8. Wedge
9. Neck
10. Jarrod

Should be able to round out the cast with some outside troons, and I feel like I'm forgetting someone major.

Crazy TIF
RIOLEY

 

[Adolphin]

I think anyone who has ever encountered a malicious cluster B will agree that euthanasia is the only appropriate "treatment" for those "people". Seriously I'd live with 100 full blown crack addict scizos before I live with another cluster B.

I honestly can't wish for the end of the tranch. We've discussed and theorised about its demise for over 700 pages, during that we've laughed, despaired and shared a whole load of very useful information but as it edges closer I just don't want it to end.

Histrionics can be somewhat tolerated (or made fun at), the rest of Cluster B is insufferable.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

Should be able to round out the cast with some outside troons, and I feel like I'm forgetting someone major.

..the faint outline of that crazy chick Neptune hanging in the background...

 

[Open Window Maniac]

Seeing as this is all the result of bad management, laziness and off-tranch lunacy (kindness) how are hey going to spin this into transphobia?

Because you know this is going to be spun as transphobia.

The livestock were all terfs! They starved themselves to make it look like the Tranchers were mistreating them because they're all hateful bigots and just want to tear down True and Honest transwomen.

 

[cuddle striker]

Crazy TIF
RIOLEY

and #13, Earl

 

[Richard Cheese]

I'm not saying this out of concern for Penny but just because can you imagine the tweets we'd get off Kevin after he returns to find himself on an abandoned tranch, or to find it repossessed by Bonnie and Kindness and told he's not allowed back in/squarked at by a robot baby?

The twitter meltdown would be absolutely glorious.

If Phil abandoned Kev, do you think he would prostrate himself before Alyssa & Fat Paul and beg them to let him stay? Would he accept Paul as his new "momma" if it meant he could remain in his cave with his plastic hoard? Would they say yes and form a new polycule? Would Kevin finally get a taste of that sweet sweet testosterone-atrophied BPD pussy? Would they evict Jen or let him set up a studio apartment in the septic tank?

Do not despair, brothers. The tranch still has so much milk to give.

 

[Coccxys]

The twitter meltdown would be absolutely glorious.

Would we even get one? No way the internet connection to the tranch will still be active (probably strip the copper out the walls on their way out), I doubt cell reception is all that on the tranch and pen probably had Kev on some demented family plan that gets cut too. Kevin may be entirely cut off from the internet and plastic consooomer crap.

 

[AprilRains]

The twitter meltdown would be absolutely glorious.

If Phil abandoned Kev, do you think he would prostrate himself before Alyssa & Fat Paul and beg them to let him stay? Would he accept Paul as his new "momma" if it meant he could remain in his cave with his plastic hoard? Would they say yes and form a new polycule? Would Kevin finally get a taste of that sweet sweet testosterone-atrophied BPD pussy? Would they evict Jen or let him set up a studio apartment in the septic tank?

Do not despair, brothers. The tranch still has so much milk to give.

no one wants to be in a relationship with kev

 

[cherrysour]

1. Kevin
2. Penny
3. Jen
4. Boner
5. Sky
6. Alyssa
7. Gash
8. Wedge
9. Neck
10. Jarrod

Should be able to round out the cast with some outside troons, and I feel like I'm forgetting someone major.

Wasn't Fanny Traggot (he of the crotch chelicerae) Kevin-adjacent?

 

[kaien]

Wasn't Fanny Traggot (he of the crotch chelicerae) Kevin-adjacent?

He was just a guy Kevin replied to on Twitter, which is how we found him. Otherwise no connection.

 

[lamp shade]

No one could have guessed when Kevin tweeted this picture that it heralded the beginning of the end.
View attachment 3205979

If I didn’t have a real job, I would take the time to photoshop all their faces on the Last Supper. Still might.