Inactive The Ralpharing - One ring to gunt them all, value dropping by the minute

[AltisticRight]

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God dammit Ralph get that thing resized before you loose the hoof. Even when taking picture to own the haters those fat fingers are so big the phone focuses on that rather than the ring. @theralph touch the ring in frame to set it as the focus, better yet have May take a picture since she doesn't have the shakes from alcohol abuse. Until you post solid in focus pictures of the ring it will remain KiwiFarms certified appraisal of under $100.

With Ralph's disgusting goop caught underneath, I wouldn't take this gaudy gross ring for free.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

Oftentimes mens rings like this have a hollow back. If it's not cleaned regularly, it will accumulate dead skin cells and bacteria which then can congeal into a solid mass. Back when I worked in jewelry repair, my coworkers and I called it "ring meatloaf".

Spoiler: Gross

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Ralph's ring may also have human shit trapped underneath, so imagine the smell

As far as valuing the ring, I've seen similar styles sold at upwards of $4000. Those were solid 18k with nice quality diamonds though, so it's unlikely the Gunt's ring is worth nearly that much. Assuming it's not costume jewelry, I'd wager it's probably in the $1000-1500 price range. Wholesale price would maybe be $500.

The great thing about it being worth 1k or more? He can justify any stupid begas trip or murse purchase by saying he can cover it, which he can’t, and he won’t.
That’s why you never let spendthrifts have money.
But yeah Ralph get it cleaned and appraised. It’s smelly. And your teeth too. I’m not letting that drop.

 

[Disheveled Human]

One of the most ugly rings I ever seen in my life, but hey it is dual purpose for Ralph since it doubles as a cock ring perfect fit on the Memphis 10.

 

[MeltyTW]

One of the most ugly rings I ever seen in my life, but hey it is dual purpose for Ralph since it doubles as a cock ring perfect fit on the Memphis 10.

i actually thought people edited out the real ring to put that gaudy gumball machine piece of shit up to mock ralph. its almost objectively tasteless trash. I mean i think weve all been in the extreme minority of something but were usually painfully aware of it i dunno how gunt could lift that abomination up onto his pig hoof and think "oh yeah thisll make em seethe with jealousy". Be like if youre the one person who thinks a gunt looks good, might be a masterpiece to you youre not going to be bragging about it because you know it wont bring you social cred

 

[Tackleberry]

How wigger can you get?

 

[Glad I couldn't help]

> See Ralph's fat hand and finger.

Is there any part of Ralph that isn't gross and malformed?

 

[Fetish Roulette]

I've made this joke regarding Ralph's dumb wigger jewelry before, but it just keeps fitting.

 

[Some dude]

How wigger can you get?

One of his Vegas trips he'll come back without it, claiming to have been robbed at gunpoint. In reality, he'll have pawned it for just one more bet.

 

[Tom Myers]

I can't decide if he bought the ring off Etsy or if those listings are recreations of "classic" ring designs.

 

[Crack Pipe Nationalist]

Maybe he's thinking if he keeps it on long enough and isn't able to take it off then it won't end up on eBay. My guess is the whole finger is just going to come off with it.

 

[Big Fat Frog]

Is there any part of Ralph that isn't gross and malformed?

His legs. They’re literal toothpicks.

 

[Paddy O' Furniture]

One of his Vegas trips he'll come back without it, claiming to have been robbed at gunpoint. In reality, he'll have pawned it for just one more bet.

Just like the camera!

 

[Exceptional individualist]

How did Ralph's grandfather get a hold of George Floyd's elden ring?
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Jesus Christ Ralph, you are going to get sepsis. Please take it off you aren't supposed to die yet.

 

[bucketOjibblies]

The ring has a full bezel setting done in a white metal to make the stones look bigger and more uniform. Good for hiding flaws and bad quality of stones. This particular type of full bezel is clunky and ugly looking and only seen in lower quality vintage jewelry.

If the stones are real they are old mine cut diamonds. Once modern tools allowed for brilliant cut and other better facet cutting there was a lot of old unfashionable jewelry floating around with old mine cut diamonds. Pawn stores ended up with a lot of these stones so tried to find ways to repurpose them for use in new jewelry. Using them in men’s rings was popular for the tacky trends in 1970’s men fashion. These stones were usually too flawed and low quality for engagement rings or prong jewelry, but perfect to be embedded in a clunky men’s ring.

The stones seem like Ralph’s eyes because they were probably taken out of random old jewelry and three were “close enough” to get in a row of three. They were obviously not customs cut for this ring, just a mix and match assortment of stones taking out of some old necklace or rings. The one in the center was bigger, with more depth, than the other two so did some weird asymmetrical setting to make it all “fit” into one ring.

It was also common for ppl to take old pieces of family diamond jewelry to a jeweler or goldsmith and have them remove the stones to make a new piece of jewelry. This isn’t the case with Gunt or else I’m sure he’d have mentioned how PawPaw’s ring came from dear Grandma Pink’s old rings.

Gemologist fag here, and thats a pretty great explanation. Unless the diamonds are highly graded and have an official appraisal, this is the kind of ring thats literally only worth its weight in whatever spec price 14k gold is selling for on that particular day.
Poor quality rings like his would be melted down for the gold, and the diamonds would either be cut down for melee (tiny stones used in pave settings and eternity bands where color and clarity isn't really a big deal) or ground down for industrial use.

 

[NicoFountaine]

That fucking finger is suffocating. It's literally too small for his fat finger.

Somebody needs to add "Stroke due to blood clots after several untreated acute episodes of palmar vein thrombosis due to Ralpharang" to the deadpool.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Gemologist fag here, and thats a pretty great explanation. Unless the diamonds are highly graded and have an official appraisal, this is the kind of ring thats literally only worth its weight in whatever spec price 14k gold is selling for on that particular day.
Poor quality rings like his would be melted down for the gold, and the diamonds would either be cut down for melee (tiny stones used in pave settings and eternity bands where color and clarity isn't really a big deal) or ground down for industrial use.

Yes, a lot of people make the mistake that all diamonds are valuable. Ralph is walking around with a drill bit ring. Much like the ring he bought Pantsu, the main value is in the gold weight, unless he wants to see if he can get someone to pay more on eBay to avoid retail jewelry prices.

In diamond district terms. Ralph’s ring is a bunch of strops, some worthless fisheye matzos you sell to the schmucks and rubes.

 

[Fareal]

I comfidently armchair appraise this ring as essentially worthless aside from sentimental value.

Gunt was kind enough to show us the makers mark (lol) inside the shank, so we know it was sold as 14k gold. Not valuable except by weight.

Diamonds of that size, more or less regardless of their cut, clarity and colour, would have been set in 18k gold minimum. More likely platinum. The stones also have good clarity and colour. I confidently diagnose them as zircon. Zircon despite being dirt cheap has significantly less variation in clarity and colour than diamond, so a standard zircon looks to a casual glance far more like a “good” diamond than it resembles a “shit” diamond. Zircon is also hard wearing, so I’m confident these are zircon rather than glass. They look undamaged.

The thing is worth the value of the gold, nothing more. Zircon remains cheap and plentiful and therefore has no resale value. If the design was pretty - think vintage brooches, which remain very popular - it might be worth a bottle or two of the favoured Gunt pickling liquid, but this has a value somewhere below 100 dollars depending on the gold value that day since it was designed by a blind man having a seizure.

It has whatever sentimental value its owner attaches to it, but since he can’t even love his children, I doubt that’s much.

 

[AntiSchwuletteAktion]

By blackest cock and shartist night
No A-log will escape my sight
Let those who worship josh's might,
beware my power... Gunt lanterns light!

PLEASE meme this. Instead of powering the ring with will, fear, or rage, the Gunt Lantern wields pride! He may be obese, retarded, abusive, and a criminal, but he's PROUD

 

[BlackDragoons]

I've always held the sentiment that jewelry is worthless and not worth the money unless it provides powers or magical abilities. Beyond that if your showing off your jewelry your just wasting my time and yours.

 

[Easterling]

PLEASE meme this. Instead of powering the ring with will, fear, or rage, the Gunt Lantern wields pride! He may be obese, retarded, abusive, and a criminal, but he's PROUD

Could shop jersh as sinestro, gimmie a moment and i might make it
Edit:

Spoiler: Ask and ye shall receive