Crossover 8/27/2022 Andy Warski vs. Salt Papi - Ethan Ralph bitched out of the fight blaming Jim and a-logs, "Salt Papi" enters the ring at the O2 Arena in London

Who will win?

  • Andy Warski

    Votes: 28 21.7%

  • Salt Papi

    Votes: 101 78.3%
  • Total voters
    129
  • Poll closed .
Maybe ralph is using his big brain and thinking that if getting clobbered by a Portuguese man messed up his face, getting smashed by another man could get it put back into place?
:thinking:

As a kiwi I am too dumb for big brain moves like that. Geuss it's why none of us are as successful as the Ralphamale.
 
  • Like
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Feels
Reactions: snoot booper, Jabba2988, SuckDuck4Quack and 5 others
Ralph has realized the only way he can make content anymore is to get in petty spats with people. This is why he's burned so many bridges lately. However he's out of bridges that don't directly link to his bank account. So now he has to get in an actual physical fight to keep the money flowing.

I'm conflicted about whether he'll actually show up though. On one hand he's a fat alcoholic who probably can't go to his mailbox without being winded. It would take him years to train enough to be in a physical fight, and I think even he knows this. So maybe he'll make up a dumb excuse at the last minute and bail. On the other hand he's done dumber shit for more petty ego-driven reasons.

Regardless it's an interesting arc and I'm curious about what the writers have in store.
 
  • Like
Reactions: snoot booper, FundusOHoolihan, Hüftpriester and 1 other person
Watching previous fight footage of Ralph, Ralph strategy will be to generate moment leaning forward while hollering about “Warski is a bitch”. That’s the best opportunity to strike his face but Ralph offsets falling backwards with his huge gunt, with his gunt forward and his heading flying backwards Warski will be able to turn Ralph into a perpetual motion punching bag. Biggest risk: Warski tiring

Alternatively someone skilled in judo will be able to take advantage of Gunt’s weight and let gravity do the work.
Biggest Risk: Ralph being too fat to toss and he lands on top of you

My best guess for Ralph’s strategy is he’s going to get high off PCP and turn in to an unstoppable rage pig that feels no pain.
Biggest Risk: Ralph decides to turn to the lone female in the audience and attacks her
 
  • Like
  • Feels
Reactions: Little Buster, snoot booper, Idiot Asshole and 12 others
After the bowling alley incident I did a little bit of deep dive into Ralph's fighting past to see if Ethan really needed that many security guys to hold down one opponent and I want to say something to Warski since he probably is reading this thread anyway:

You can still back out Andy, it's not too late, we will all understand!

To back up my claim about Ralph's fighting prowess here's some pristine footage of young Ethan Ralph brutally throwing his opponent who just happens to be of Portuguese Moor desent, nsfw.
pig fight.jpg
 
  • Like
  • Winner
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: snoot booper, Jabba2988, Keranu and 9 others
Ralph won't show up, but it won't be a loss for him. He will find some excuse for why he can't go and he will repeat that excuse so thoroughly that he will believe it himself. And in his own world he will come out on top.

This is how the bowling event went. Everyone looking from the outside knows it was a disaster. But he will continue to talk about how successful it was forever. And to him, it was a success because he has deluded himself so much.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Kramer on the phone, Keranu, TwinPeaksEnjoyer and 1 other person
Woyzeck said:
You have to be 🌈 to the point of 🧩 to believe that anything regarding this is going to happen outside of Twitter. As soon as Boogie finds out Sam Hyde is tied to his stalker and harasser he will back out. As soon as Ralph realises some level of money and effort will be required on his part he will back out.
Click to expand...
Boogie seemingly does know quite a bit about Frank & Sam by the way, see this chain https://nitter.net/boogie2988/status/1519497045811335168 where he replied to a comment about how "Sam hangs around too many losers like Frank". Looks like the account he was replying to is gone now though so you'll have to take my word for it. I guess we can conclude he has somewhat more respect for Sam than Frank based on this, but regardless, this fight just cannot possibly happen lol.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Keranu and Jann_Hörn
Takayuki Yagami said:
Ralph’s a bitch, but he’s also dumb as hell and spiraling hard into Chris levels of delusion. He might actually do this, or at least bitch out and show up anyway like with Elijah.
Click to expand...
I know Ralph will bitch out but I can't help being excited by him pretending to be training hard for the fight just like going for the 2 mile walk incident, when he tries to prove to everybody he's not out of shape druggie alcoholic it makes for some premium corn and spirals him further into his own delusions.
 
  • Like
Reactions: snoot booper, Keranu, FundusOHoolihan and 1 other person
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back