Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[Help Me Move This Table]

Destroying the career of a niche blogger is funny, but a global tour tanking the credibility of a university is impressive

 

[Mayhem]

Let's be real: a lot of schools since covid have been pretty flexible on attendance, and Joe managing to get permission to teach all his stuff online, or get a TA cover it, is not implausible.

That’s both true and untrue. For my part, I can say that my employer encourages me to work with students who are having trouble attending consistently or finishing assignments on time. But I am still required by state law to hold x number of scheduled classes, and if I cancel too many, even due to illness or personal circumstance, I can get in trouble at my job.

TAs are generally used only for large classes or for freshman-level classes with a lot of sections, like introductory classes in various subjects like writing or psychology or chemistry. Joe may have a TA to help him with some of his duties, but in my experience, they are rare unless the professor has administrative duties like department chair or special status such as emeritus. Not everyone gets a TA. (Shit, I’d give my left arm for one. I still make all my own copies.)

Joe holds a full-time professor position at a state university, which is subject to state laws. Here is what his duties should include:
- Teaching a certain number of classes, with a certain number of students in each class. Colleges and universities have minimums here. It looks like Joe teaches two classes each semester, which is a low number.
- Designing syllabi and assignments for each of those classes, administering those assignments, and grading those assignments within a reasonable amount of time. Gen Z are grade grubbers and they love having little fiddly homework assignments.
- Holding office hours: a set number per week, consistently. It’s usually at least six.
- Advising undergraduates on their thesis projects, if applicable, and graduate students on theses and dissertations. This can take a lot of time and be labor-intensive.
- Working on research and publishing projects and, if applicable, attending professional conferences and giving talks. A professor at a college or university might be required to publish a certain number of books or articles in a certain time period in order to meet expectations or benchmarks. There can be wide variety here depending on where and what you teach.
- Departmental duties such as faculty meetings, search and hiring committees, tenure committees, various kinds of diversity or tech or program initiatives. Service is required and everyone hates it. Zoom has helped make this bearable, but we all notice those assholes who never show up to meetings or bow out early for every one.

There is a lot of flexibility in the schedule, but you are expected to do a lot, and to keep a lot of plates spinning in the air at once in exchange for that flexibility. Everyone is expected to pull their own weight. However, the only people you’re really accountable to, aside from your students, are your department chair and dean, and if you’re a classic narc with great manipulative powers, you can exercise some control here. Maybe this is what Joe has managed to do. But I can also say, based on my glances at his fellow department members, that they are likely a lot less liberal than the media would have non-academics believe. Professors are overwhelmingly older people who come from working-class backgrounds and juggle family life with their job responsibilities. They want to go on vacation and spend time at Junior’s soccer practice and band recitals just like every other parent. They are not really on Twitter all day, or post nudes on Instagram and talk about who they are fucking in their open marriages. Guaranteed, Joe’s colleagues have seen this, are disgusted by it, and gossip openly about it. They don’t respect him because he has not shown much of significance to respect. His book is shit and he flies into a narcissistic rage when someone dares to say it. So, yeah, his colleagues have probably told him that it’s great just to avoid him ragepigging in the hallways where the students can hear — when they actually talk to him, because he’s never there to talk to.

 

[mold]

Powerlevel warning:

If you haven’t already guessed by my posts in this thread, I am an instructor in higher ed. And my mother, whom I am the primary caregiver for, is dying.

I took a week off this semester to get her paperwork in order, talk to her doctors, establish her home care, and spend some time with her while she was still lucid. I was given the option to take another week, but my colleagues would have had to sub for me with no extra pay for their trouble, which, understandably, none of them were willing to do. (I was also given the option to teach on Zoom, but since my classes are in-person, I don’t want to use that option unless I have no other choice.)

A week was, realistically, all the time I was able to take. I have the option of taking FMLA, but that is up to three months, once a year, with no pay. That’s all the leave both the federal government and my place of employment allow. I don’t have the option of going on sabbatical, as that has an entire application and approval process that has to be done well in advance. So I am stuck working during the day while my sibling takes care of mom, and then I go in for the night shift to give sibling some time off after I’m done with work for the day. Everyone says they feel sorry for me, but there’s no real help or options.

You see, while my job may be “elite“ on paper, I am still very much a member of the working class. I can’t just leave my job without my pay, even though I have a terminally ill family member. My job will only accommodate me so much. And my students, who honestly have been fantastic about the whole thing, still paid for a somewhat decent education and I owe it to them not to fuck up too badly.

So, believe me when I say that I have no idea how Joe has managed to get six weeks away from his job in the middle of the semester without going on something like FMLA or medical leave. That’s not how things usually work. Those of us in education put things off — vacations, surgeries, even weddings and pregnancies — until the summer, or until we can manage to swing more time off. It’s not unusual to see colleagues walking around with crutches during the summer months because they put off a long-awaited surgery so that they could have time to recover without having to take limited sick time. And forget about vacation time — we don’t have it.

So, please believe me when I say I don’t know what deal Joe managed to work out with Berkeley that has allowed him to be a “part-time professor” (that’s…not a thing) while also doing a book tour in a completely different country where he was stranded a few extra days, after being sick with covid in the fall and taking sabbatical the year before. He might be getting up early to teach on Zoom. I don’t know when he’s had the time to grade papers or answer the many, many student emails we normally get, as Gen Z is deeply needy. But what he is doing — or not doing — is not at all representative of the typical life of a higher ed instructor.

people are going to express a lot of sympathy for you here but I just want you to be reassured that some of us also feel rage

American academia has totally burnt the results of decades of hard, brutal, labor organizing so that a couple of people could party harder.

 

[Trianon]

Gosh, my full sympathies for what is happening with your mother, I went through the same thing a few years ago. Another family member stepped in to do primary caregiving because they had more medical experience, but the whole thing exhausted us and we are only rebuilding family relationships after it all.

On Joe - I deeply suspect that he has been perhaps "asked" to stay away, that there's something going on behind the scenes. At my work people will suddenly take EXTENDED LEAVE and it's usually because something with reputational damage to the company is being investigated - HR internally, or an external police matter that can bleed into the company.

Remember he very deliberately said he was passing on being bumped up to full professor. To focus on his "creative writing." And to focus on his "grad students." But he's also "stepping back" from being a "public intellectual" on Twitter. A lot of, um, sudden roadblocks to his career prospects.

We may not know what is happening on the other side, but we have seen Joe contradict real events with his "I'm so unbothered, it's almost boring how unbothered I am!" veneer.

In fact, here's a "STOP TALKING ABOUT MY TEACHING, KIWIS" plea. (Seriously, I found this after I wrote this post. It's right on cue.)



Those filters are holding on for dear life.

He is going part-time, won't teach any undergrad classes for another TWO YEARS.

That is the Rhys nudge.

 

[behindyourightnow]

You know how in a lot of sitcoms and dramas, where the character supposedly has some professional job, and the show will very occasionally reference the job, but the character seems to have unlimited free time and the ability to drop all their professional duties at a moment’s notice with no consequences, because that’s what the plot requires? And they’re constantly getting into crazy hijinks that would be impossible for a normal person to extract themselves from financially, but it's also waved away for plot reasons?

Joe is like that, except not fictional. Of course, he is also so oppressed that the full power of the police state must come down on anyone who makes him feel sad or angry.

I appreciate his reference to "chaotic circumstances," as if a sudden freak hurricane picked Joe up and whisked him across the Atlantic Ocean to the UK away from his beloved students, instead of him choosing to abandon them to go on a book tour.

Who is that Instagram post written for, exactly? The people in the thread know it's bullshit. His handmaidens? Why bother, they would cheer and clap in the same enthusiastic manner if he just posted a picture of his sweaty ballsack every day. Who is he trying to justify himself to?

 

[Potatis Salad]

Remember he very deliberately said he was passing on being bumped up to full professor. To focus on his "creative writing." And to focus on his "grad students." But he's also "stepping back" from being a "public intellectual" on Twitter. A lot of, um, sudden roadblocks to his career prospects.

Did he actually say that he was offered the promotion to full professor and he actively declined it? I remember him saying "I'll be promoted to full professor in six months!" and then never mentioned it again, instead announcing the move to part time.

I have not been on board with the notion that Joe may be losing his good standing at Berkeley but the way you've summed it up here is pretty convincing.

Just a minor side note, Joe posted this in his Instagram stories. In the gif the woman boredly rolls her eyes, sips wine, and flips her ~fabulous fur cape around.

So in this fantasy, Joe: 1.) has a family, 2.) gets invited to a family function, and 3.) flits around acting like a major asshole at said function.

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

Gee, I wonder why these people are black sheep? Must be their fabulous sexualities and not their toxic personalities.

 

[FarmVille]

I have not been on board with the notion that Joe may be losing his good standing at Berkeley but the way you've summed it up here is pretty convincing.

I think it’s safe to assume none of us have any insider knowledge of the UCB English department. But it’s obvious Joe has zero interest in being a professor. Zero interest in being a writer or producing anything besides social media commentary. He wants to live off Toast money, take filtered selfies, and buy ugly, expensive clothes.

A filter that was able to give Joe a chin??!! This is second after the moon landing in terms of unbelievable technological achievement.

 

[Potatis Salad]

I think it’s safe to assume none of us have any insider knowledge of the UCB English department. But it’s obvious Joe has zero interest in being a professor. Zero interest in being a writer or producing anything besides social media commentary. He wants to live off Toast money, take filtered selfies, and buy ugly, expensive clothes.

Excuse you. Joe is totally dedicated to pedagogy and loves his grad students! He never talks or posts on social media about the invaluable mentorship he is "honored" to provide to his students, but not because he's too busy cooming and scrounging for "bottoms" online to give a fuck about them! Why, just look at the overcompensating Instagram posts he's made in the past 24 hours and it's clear that Joe is super duper passionate about his job at Berkeley.

 

[mrae]

View attachment 3226391
So in this fantasy, Joe: 1.) has a family, 2.) gets invited to a family function, and 3.) flits around acting like a major asshole at said function.

Had to bring back this gem from the olden times.

The Ortberg's might miss Mallory but I bet they're thrilled they no longer have to pretend to tolerate the type of dude who wears this get up to meet his SIL's new baby.

 

[FarmVille]

Excuse you. Joe is totally dedicated to pedagogy and loves his grad students! He never talks or posts on social media about the invaluable mentorship he is "honored" to provide to his students, but not because he's too busy cooming and scrounging for "bottoms" online to give a fuck about them! Why, just look at the overcompensating Instagram posts he's made in the past 24 hours and it's clear that Joe is super duper passionate about his job at Berkeley.
View attachment 3227448

Sometimes you hire an expert in dusty old English literature and end up with a kink studies graduate program.

 

[kaien]

I think it’s safe to assume none of us have any insider knowledge of the UCB English department. But it’s obvious Joe has zero interest in being a professor. Zero interest in being a writer or producing anything besides social media commentary. He wants to live off Toast money, take filtered selfies, and buy ugly, expensive clothes.

There's really no way to know if he's on the Rhys McKinnon arc, especially since Berkeley and College of Charleston are about as much alike as, I dunno, a dog and an armadillo. But he's certainly doing a lot of the same things Rhys did. Constantly in noisy social media beef. Little interest in teaching except when he can use it for cheap laughs. Long leaves of absence. Publishing and speaking entirely about troon shit and himself. Next on the list should be coming up with an even cornier new name.

 

[mold]

I think it’s safe to assume none of us have any insider knowledge of the UCB English department

I wouldn't be so sure about that

 

[Trianon]

Did he actually say that he was offered the promotion to full professor and he actively declined it? I remember him saying "I'll be promoted to full professor in six months!" and then never mentioned it again, instead announcing the move to part time.

I have not been on board with the notion that Joe may be losing his good standing at Berkeley but the way you've summed it up here is pretty convincing.

No, you're right. There's not an official promotion yet. But just in his telling, he was practically on the cusp of being offered a full job but chose to hit the brakes himself and go part-time. This seems insane. So for some reason, he wants us to know he has multiple options for success open to him, while at the same time, they seem to be shutting down as he rules out 1.) Substack 2.) being a public intellectual 3.) being a Twitter intellectual 4.) being a successful creative writer 5.) being a successful professor. It's like ... lmao. His brand is not growing, it's shrinking, and he wants us to think he's shrinking it on purpose, which goes against everything we know about him.

You weren't glad you got banned from Twitter, dude! You had to be pulled from it kicking and screaming.

There's really no way to know if he's on the Rhys McKinnon arc, especially since Berkeley and College of Charleston are about as much alike as, I dunno, a dog and an armadillo. But he's certainly doing a lot of the same things Rhys did. Constantly in noisy social media beef. Little interest in teaching except when he can use it for cheap laughs. Long leaves of absence. Publishing and speaking entirely about troon shit and himself. Next on the list should be coming up with an even cornier new name.

Yeah, I don't even think it has to be clear that Berkeley is unhappy. As long as Joe senses that he might have to put more effort into teaching, he will quit on it before it quits on him. So quitting Substack isn't because he has no subs; it's because he's taking a principled stand. He has also been seeding the ground for this, with how he sticks his nose into every student unionization effort. When he leaves Berkeley, he will say it's because he can no longer support the unjust labor system and can't justify having his job supported by poor, underpaid TAs. Also fascism. Even Berkeley isn't woke enough to keep cops off campus.

The only thing that would stop him now is that it gives him one thing to lord over Kathleen Stock.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

In fact, here's a "STOP TALKING ABOUT MY TEACHING, KIWIS" plea. (Seriously, I found this after I wrote this post. It's right on cue.)

View attachment 3225573

"I'm taking steps to ensure I'm not so overwhelmed in future, and that my capacity to research, write, and share my work isn't compromised either."

PREDICTION: No research, writing or sharing of work to happen before Spring 2024 semester begins.

 

[kazuhiro]

Spiked have given Joe space to respond to Brendan O'Neill's review of his terrible book:

'A wierd little diatribe' / archive

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

Spiked have given Joe space to respond to Brendan O'Neill's review of his terrible book:

'A wierd little diatribe' / archive

That review sure got him butthurt, he's even more insufferable than usual.

 

[Treasure Champs]

Huh. That's just.... odd. It's one thing to accuse your reviewer of not reading your book on instagram. It's quite another to publish that theory as some kind of rebuttal. It can't possibly be proven, and most certainly not by 'evidence' like 'reviewer mentioned one picture of porn, but there are actually four'.

Is it some kind of troll-y spoof of trans theology? Unbelievable subjective premise backed by flimsy and contradictory evidence? Or is Joe just that bad at arguments?

 

[HissingBastard]

Spiked have given Joe space to respond to Brendan O'Neill's review of his terrible book:

'A wierd little diatribe' / archive

Nobody is going to read your book you desperate loser. The only entertaining thing you've ever written is Mallory's real-life downfall.

 

[ZeeMarin]

Lily popped in with a total lie.