Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

deepFriedBaka said:
Was anyone going to tell him that killing yourself to escape the law only works in criminal trials? It was definitely desperation (the fact that he didn't leave behind a will is proof enough), and most people an hero out of desperation alone, but even so...

Let's hope there's Wi-Fi in hell so Rich can read this.
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deepFriedBaka said:
Was anyone going to tell him that killing yourself to escape the law only works in criminal trials? It was definitely desperation (the fact that he didn't leave behind a will is proof enough), and most people an hero out of desperation alone, but even so...

Let's hope there's Wi-Fi in hell so Rich can read this.
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It gets you out of paying child support. Taxes and debts are another story (Ashli has inherited them). However, instead of child support, the families are receiving social security based on his earnings.
 
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Uber driver reviewer said:
Sounds like something an old whore with a loose pussy and a life of regrets would say to their mixed race descendent before dying of chlamydia induced cancers
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But enough about your mother…
Humble Shitpost Merchant said:
What gets to me is that he still had parents he could continue to mooch off of. They could've paid his child support for him. They would've too considering how much they sheltered him.

Yet somehow he chose an even more pathetic and petty option.
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I think ending up in his parent’s basement again would be a much more pathetic outcome. An heroing was about the only useful thing he did the last decade of his life.
 
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Every time this thread gets bumped and I see it on the front page, it makes me crave those Goldbelly hand pies. I actually dropped $85 on a 6 pack a couple months ago after he died and ever since I've been struggling to stop myself from ordering it again. The ones I got were so damn good. It's like as if the curse of obesity left his body and entered mine. Fuck you Richard Kyanka.
 
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Deluxe said:
View attachment 3225635

Every time this thread gets bumped and I see it on the front page, it makes me crave those Goldbelly hand pies. I actually dropped $85 on a 6 pack a couple months ago after he died and ever since I've been struggling to stop myself from ordering it again. The ones I got were so damn good. It's like as if the curse of obesity left his body and entered mine. Fuck you Richard Kyanka.
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You've got the makings of a good horror story/commercial crossover with Goldbelly here, Get writing.
 
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BALLZ-BROKEN said:
I was listening to MATI today and @Null brought up the failed Micro$haft product, the Zune and it reminded me of the time LowT smashed up chinkwife's old dead Zune.

This video was uploaded on February 10, 2014, over 8 years ago and it was obvious he was deep into a drug addiction.

Enjoy
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That is some foreshadowing on that cardboard sign. "GRAVE SOON." Not soon enough, I'd say.
 
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Zunes were sort of dogshit, but I had a Zune HD from a black friday fire sale and I will say, it might have been my favorite non-phone device. Small but the right size of small. Interface was good, graphics were impressive for a tiny ass late-aughts device, had a couple decent games (played the shit out of Project Gotham). The Zune software was alright and had some of the best Podcast support I'd ever seen - you could tell it to download as many episodes of a podcast as you wanted to your computer, but only send a certain number to the device, and to remove ones you played; leave it hooked to your computer, and grab it in the morning and you'd have the latest news to listen to on your way. Load up a bunch of episodes of whatever, and you could tell it to delete them from the device as you finished listening. (Not a big thing now that everyone has unlimited 5G everywhere, but a life saver at the time)
Also worked with Audible & a lot of 3rd-party players. It also a great feature were you could favorite songs, but also unfavorite songs - Those couple of real stinkers that fucked up an otherwise decent album will never darken your eardrums again without having to fuck with your MP3 library. And it had an HD radio.

Only downside was it was pricing on release, and while it did support wireless sync, it was flakey as hell and would lose sync regularly, requiring you to connect it to a computer and your computer would act like it had never seen the device before. You also had to use the Zune software on a computer to load/unload songs. (and I guess for modern times, no Bluetooth)

Lent it someone for a roadtrip and it got broken when some drunk idiot plowed into their parked car, was a little pissed it was gone.
 
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NeoGAF Lurker said:
I remember Zune being shit at first but eventually became a strong enough product. Problem is it’s reputation preceded itself so by the time Microsoft got its shit together on the Zune, it was way too late.
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They also leaned way, way too fucking hard on the "social" thing. They put wifi in the mid-run zunes but you couldn't join a wifi network - only share songs with other Zunes - not even like a proto-bumble/DS thing where you could chat and share photos, only DRM-crippled trial songs. The HD had a crappy mobile browser and could get on the internet, but you couldn't download anything, just try to wifi sync and hope it worked and didn't make your device go full retard.

MS has about zero internal collaboration, and that's why you didn't see any Xbox integration (ie sync to xbox! low-power Xbox arcade games on zune, etc) despite the fact it would have been a pretty natural synergy.

Anyway, Lowtax is now as dead as the Zune, but unlike Lowtax there are people who miss the Zune.
The Zune also didn't abuse women or blow all of its money to deny its three children inheritance. So the would have been a better place if Lowtax had taken the drill to himself instead of an MP3 player.
 
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Ghostse said:
They also leaned way, way too fucking hard on the "social" thing. They put wifi in the mid-run zunes but you couldn't join a wifi network - only share songs with other Zunes - not even like a proto-bumble/DS thing where you could chat and share photos, only DRM-crippled trial songs. The HD had a crappy mobile browser and could get on the internet, but you couldn't download anything, just try to wifi sync and hope it worked and didn't make your device go full retard.

MS has about zero internal collaboration, and that's why you didn't see any Xbox integration (ie sync to xbox! low-power Xbox arcade games on zune, etc) despite the fact it would have been a pretty natural synergy.

Anyway, Lowtax is now as dead as the Zune, but unlike Lowtax there are people who miss the Zune.
The Zune also didn't abuse women or blow all of its money to deny its three children inheritance. So the would have been a better place if Lowtax had taken the drill to himself instead of an MP3 player.
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They all had Wi-Fi, but wireless syncing came with the second version of the Zune OS, which worked on the first generation. Before that, the wifi thing was ad-hoc only, and they called the whole sharing songs thing "squirting". You can squirt a song into another Zune, which I guess they intended for that to become a meme, but I think that was just too nasty.

Also, here's a guy who got a Zune tattoo:
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