A Kiwi Farms game of FATAL: Abandon all hope, ye who enter here
- Thread starter Randall Fragg
- Start date
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2015
I just really hope my remaining wolves don't attempt to start raping the trapped kobold >.>
Having knee-cap-killed one peasant, I continue trying to clear a path to the priest with as many swings of the maul as I can pull off per-turn. (fulcrum towards the middle)
Having knee-cap-killed one peasant, I continue trying to clear a path to the priest with as many swings of the maul as I can pull off per-turn. (fulcrum towards the middle)
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2014
I'm going to put on the belt, and go on the defensive. Backing away from combat, I use my maul ax to keep any peseants from trying to get too close.
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2014
I'm still going for the attack on the priest.
Is Dynastia at risk of suffocating while stuck in that man's anus? Because that sounds like something that would be in this game.
Is Dynastia at risk of suffocating while stuck in that man's anus? Because that sounds like something that would be in this game.
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2015
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2015
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2015
Alright, well first off the priest gets his spell off! He rolls to hit Azazel and does so. The spell he used is intestinal wreathe, reproduced below.
Intestinal Wreathe
Level 3
Magic Points 24
Discipline Earth
Range 500'
Area 1 target creature
Duration: 2^(level of caster) (so in this case, 8 rounds)
Effect: Your intestines come out of your ass and begin to strangle you. They don't go back in once the spell is over.
Alright, the last peasent defending the priest is able to parry your maul with his fucking dagger, because FATAL doesn't include any modifiers for weapons with different masses. However, he only has one attack and you have two, and your second one hits his right shoulder, killing him.
Magic clothing is dangerous to put on in FATAL. Oh, and you have really bad luck. The girdle that I randomly rolled is the Cursed Girdle of Gelation from page 725. You can try to take it off when you first put it on by rolling your Intuition vs TH 17. You got a 3d10 roll of 7, and a -3 modifier, so you don't take it off. Now you take 1d10 LP per turn as your veins turn to ice. This first turn, I rolled 10, so you lose 10 LP. You can no longer remove the belt, and are now a slave to it. Once you die, you still be alive, although I can't find any rules on how the dead regenerate LP, so I guess you'd technically have 0 LP (I'll research this and let you know.) You will be compelled to "Dramatically play god." You get to choose which god to impersonate. Since the Fatal supplement that describes the gods is only about 10 pages long and clearly very unfinished, feel free to just make one up.
Oh by the way, you're now totally immune to any form of fire, so it's not all bad.
And to answer your question, there are rules for suffocation: you take 1 LP of subdual (read: easily healed)
You miss and the peasent hits you in the torso for 1 LP of damage. Check your BPP.
We're in uncharted territory rules-wise here. You guys might have to pull him out.
The rest of the peasents realize that this is a fight that they can't win, and they begin to flee back to the town square where more townspeople are waiting and setting up a makeshift army to kill you guys. They could possibly have more casters too. The only peasent remaining can't move because a bugbear is stuck up his ass.
The pesent who was on fire has finished removing his clothes. He's now in just his underwear, but he's badly burned. He turns to run, but he's hurt, so he doesn't get away very fast.
Intestinal Wreathe
Level 3
Magic Points 24
Discipline Earth
Range 500'
Area 1 target creature
Duration: 2^(level of caster) (so in this case, 8 rounds)
Effect: Your intestines come out of your ass and begin to strangle you. They don't go back in once the spell is over.
Azazel can't attack while he's engaged in wrestling. However, he's much stronger than the priest, and it's the caster's strength that determines how strong the target's guts are. Azazel manages to avoid having his windpipe crushed and breaks out of the wrestling. This ends the spell and his turn.
Alright, the last peasent defending the priest is able to parry your maul with his fucking dagger, because FATAL doesn't include any modifiers for weapons with different masses. However, he only has one attack and you have two, and your second one hits his right shoulder, killing him.
Magic clothing is dangerous to put on in FATAL. Oh, and you have really bad luck. The girdle that I randomly rolled is the Cursed Girdle of Gelation from page 725. You can try to take it off when you first put it on by rolling your Intuition vs TH 17. You got a 3d10 roll of 7, and a -3 modifier, so you don't take it off. Now you take 1d10 LP per turn as your veins turn to ice. This first turn, I rolled 10, so you lose 10 LP. You can no longer remove the belt, and are now a slave to it. Once you die, you still be alive, although I can't find any rules on how the dead regenerate LP, so I guess you'd technically have 0 LP (I'll research this and let you know.) You will be compelled to "Dramatically play god." You get to choose which god to impersonate. Since the Fatal supplement that describes the gods is only about 10 pages long and clearly very unfinished, feel free to just make one up.
Oh by the way, you're now totally immune to any form of fire, so it's not all bad.
Your attack instantly snaps his arm and kills him, but it also snaps the magic staff he was holding. Time for a roll on the random magical effects table! My 1d200 roll gives me 164. Everyone within 3d10 feet of the priest now gets a 1d10 bonus with the pewtersmithing skill! The book doesn't specify whether either of those rolls are made on a per person basis or if they're just made once for everyone, so in the intrests of sanity, I'll say that it's 23 feet and a +8 bonus. Everyone but Dynastia and Master Debater get this bonus.
And to answer your question, there are rules for suffocation: you take 1 LP of subdual (read: easily healed)
You miss and the peasent hits you in the torso for 1 LP of damage. Check your BPP.
We're in uncharted territory rules-wise here. You guys might have to pull him out.
The rest of the peasents realize that this is a fight that they can't win, and they begin to flee back to the town square where more townspeople are waiting and setting up a makeshift army to kill you guys. They could possibly have more casters too. The only peasent remaining can't move because a bugbear is stuck up his ass.
The pesent who was on fire has finished removing his clothes. He's now in just his underwear, but he's badly burned. He turns to run, but he's hurt, so he doesn't get away very fast.
- Joined
- May 7, 2014
Uhhh well then, Gregek Kuruhuluret will....attempt to put his intestines back inside? Since he's broke and assumedly can't afford a surgeon, not sure what else he can do.
Fucking casters, man.
(How quickly is this gonna kill me?)
Fucking casters, man.
(How quickly is this gonna kill me?)
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2014
Is RandallFragg immune to fire or just fire damage? Because if I could set him on fire without him burning to death that could be fun.
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2015
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2015
Actually, not at all. There's no damage, but the rulebook says that shitting is uncomfortable from now on. There are no other listed penalties for having your guts outside of your body though.
@Dynastia, you have a huge penalty to actually hitting anyone due to being blind. Something to keep in mind.
- Joined
- May 7, 2014
Er well.....Gregek Kuruhuluret decides that since his new fangled exterior intestines somehow isn't a lethal injury he will just try to ignore it and eat a lot of cheeses....
In the meantime he will uncomfortably waddle over to the Human-Kobold centipede and assess the situation.
To the rest of the group (that understands him) he says "Maybe we should get the fuck outta here before we have to fight an entire army because of this anus gopher"
In the meantime he will uncomfortably waddle over to the Human-Kobold centipede and assess the situation.
To the rest of the group (that understands him) he says "Maybe we should get the fuck outta here before we have to fight an entire army because of this anus gopher"
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2015
Glaukon ignores the now-fleeing peasants and gets his damn wolves back on leashes and on the cart, jumping up himself. Turning his horse and cart in the direction away from the forming militia, he watches to see what the others do, and whether the kobold will suffocate..
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2014
So, wait, I basically just became a zombie? That's immune to fire?
That is fucking awesome.
Steinmarr now belives he is Kalihar, the bugbear god of fire. With a mighty roar, he pours part of his flask of oil on him and lights himself on fire.
He calls out to the rest: "FELLOW GODS, THE TITANS OF AGMAR DARE TO RISE AGAINST US! WE SHALL EXTERMINATE THEM WITH THE FLAMES OF RIGHTIOUS JUDGEMENT! UUUHHHRRAAAA!"
That is fucking awesome.
Steinmarr now belives he is Kalihar, the bugbear god of fire. With a mighty roar, he pours part of his flask of oil on him and lights himself on fire.
He calls out to the rest: "FELLOW GODS, THE TITANS OF AGMAR DARE TO RISE AGAINST US! WE SHALL EXTERMINATE THEM WITH THE FLAMES OF RIGHTIOUS JUDGEMENT! UUUHHHRRAAAA!"
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2014
Sybil stares at the flaming bugbear in fascination and reverence, completely forgetting about the Kobold girl stuck in a man's anus.
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I continue swinging my whip blindly idgaf #yolo
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2014
- Joined
- May 7, 2014
One of us became a flame retardant zombie, one of us is now wearing a peasant as a hat, and one of us had their intestines become outestines.
FATAL: The most historically accurate and realistic RPG game ever created.
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2015
Oh and we instantly killed several people simply by shattering one of their limbs..
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