Sex Toy General - We all have them. Even you.

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I'm have some more bizarre sex toys! There is this company called Zalo that has released a Sailor Moon inspired vibrator, they are a lot more subtle and tasteful than the one Sailor Moon dildo I showed a few pages back with the geeky sex toy company

sailor moon vibrator.jpg

Zalo has also released a few other super girly ones like some Marie Antoinette inspired rabbit one and this heart bullet

zalo vibrator.jpg zalo vibrator 2.jpg

I forgot I had this in my pic folder but here is this zombie fleshlight

zombie fleshlight.jpg

And here is this cactus rabbit vibrator

cactus vibrator.jpg
 
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Oh yeah, I forgot something. You know the Inya rose I talked about previously when I was talking about weird clit suckers? Apparently Inya made some more flower themed toys. The tongue one creeps me out.

inya the kiss vibrator.png inya the bloom.jpg
 
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I have been thinking about this for a while, but I have finally been able to verbalize what is wrong about sexy board games and tabletop games

The thing about a lot of these games is that there is this balancing act you have to do of keeping things engaging so people want to play while also be not so engaging that you don't have sex and most of the time they fail. With ttrpg games, obviously you run into the problem of that sexy elven bar maid you are seducing is often times played by the GM who is a fat balding man in his 40s and well... that's pretty gay. Plus if you are playing in a group, there are more people that have to agree on boundaries.

Even if you are doing this one on one with your girlfriend or wife or something to spice up your love life, there is the fact that it just simply isn't sexy sitting at a table rolling dice and doing math, it just isn't. Plus games with dice have some sort of chance involved in them which means the possibility of less than ideal outcomes. It is different than like a freeform ERP or phone sex or whatever where you are guaranteed a good outcome as long as the other person cooperates with you. Honestly, you are better off just roleplaying and acting things out like normal kinky people do since at least you can actually touch each other rather than sitting across at a table.

Also, don't get me started on those sex dice. Often times you end up with a combination like licking the other person's nose or something or some other dumb combination like that.
 
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Here is another odd vibrator I found. It is called the Ruby Glow and it was created as a hands free vibrator to use when you read porn, at least that was the inspiration according to the creator who thought of it while she was reading erotica. Apparently it really only works if you are pantsless

vibrator ruby glow.jpg
 
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So today Youtube decided to recommend this video to me.


Now I'm no sex expert but last time I checked it wasn't a good idea to put things like flannels and cotton balls into your vagoo, let alone your ass.
 
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Fialovy said:
Oh yeah, I forgot something. You know the Inya rose I talked about previously when I was talking about weird clit suckers? Apparently Inya made some more flower themed toys. The tongue one creeps me out.

View attachment 3253522 View attachment 3253523
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I've run across listings for a ton of knockoffs of that "rose" clit sucker; this must be the original. Suckin' is one thing, but tongues look so weird.
Fialovy said:
Here is another odd vibrator I found. It is called the Ruby Glow and it was created as a hands free vibrator to use when you read porn, at least that was the inspiration according to the creator who thought of it while she was reading erotica. Apparently it really only works if you are pantsless

View attachment 3291943
Click to expand...
This one would add a new level to spin class.
 
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Weed Eater said:
Balldo? Balldo.

View attachment 3304195
Yes, you're supposed to put it inside the vagoo.

View attachment 3304196
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Sorry, but I’m just trying to wrap my head around this.
Is this meant to go around his testiclees, and then proceed to be inserted into her vaggina??
Does that feel good for anyone involved??? The way that thing is shaped looks like it’d be painful to have inside you, and I’m pretty sure ballcages ain’t supposed to be pleasant for the men either.
 
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thinking about mr hands said:
Sorry, but I’m just trying to wrap my head around this.
Is this meant to go around his testiclees, and then proceed to be inserted into her vaggina??
Does that feel good for anyone involved??? The way that thing is shaped looks like it’d be painful to have inside you, and I’m pretty sure ballcages ain’t supposed to be pleasant for the men either.
Click to expand...
You're supposed to shave your balls for this apparatus, so there's that step. Then you have to liberally lube up your balls, so that the silicone isn't chafing or being uncomfortable.

With a LUBED UP GROIN AND HANDS, you are somehow supposed to put the biggest piece of this apparatus on FIRST, that's the arrowhead looking piece, over your ballsack.
step-2.gif

Then, with that part in place, you take the spacer rings and then proceed to stretch and fit those OVER THE ENTIRE APPARATUS, INCLUDING YOUR BALLS.
balldo.png

And yes, this is supposed to make your balls into another phallus, specifically for insertion. One of the main ideas of it being that the testicles are extremely sensitive/have their own thousands of nerve endings, so why not try to put the balls into the vagina for the "ultimate pleasure experience"? There are a few reviews out there of couples trying to make this product work, but it just doesn't. It's apparently really uncomfortable and difficult to properly put on, and that's not mentioning the technical difficulties that arise when you do have it on and you're trying to fuck with it.
 
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Weed Eater said:
You're supposed to shave your balls for this apparatus, so there's that step. Then you have to liberally lube up your balls, so that the silicone isn't chafing or being uncomfortable.

With a LUBED UP GROIN AND HANDS, you are somehow supposed to put the biggest piece of this apparatus on FIRST, that's the arrowhead looking piece, over your ballsack.
View attachment 3305667

Then, with that part in place, you take the spacer rings and then proceed to stretch and fit those OVER THE ENTIRE APPARATUS, INCLUDING YOUR BALLS.
View attachment 3305701

And yes, this is supposed to make your balls into another phallus, specifically for insertion. One of the main ideas of it being that the testicles are extremely sensitive/have their own thousands of nerve endings, so why not try to put the balls into the vagina for the "ultimate pleasure experience"? There are a few reviews out there of couples trying to make this product work, but it just doesn't. It's apparently really uncomfortable and difficult to properly put on, and that's not mentioning the technical difficulties that arise when you do have it on and you're trying to fuck with it.
Click to expand...
Goddamn you, I had to come out of lurking this thread just to scream at this nightmare. What the shit, just why? Who is the sex-addled fucker who looked at their low-hanging testicles and went "My boys are feeling left out of all the fun" and came up with this horrendous idea? You sure this isn't some kinky S&M thing?
 
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