Crossover The Battle of Jim's Driveway (2022?) - A very real event that's totally happening

[Mr.Downer]

I'm expecting Gunt to just be doing his gunt shuffle dance in front of Jim's house in his stupid cowboy hat, while poorly singing to his favorite rap music and consider it a win somehow

 

[OrangeJuliusEvola]

I'm pretty damn sure Jim and Jade likely moved recently. Why else would Jim post the picture of his weeb dungeon that basically confirms the address dox on his thread? He's not as sharp as he was in the past, but he's nowhere near that stupid.

If so, I pity the poor folks who live in that condo now.

 

[Meat Target]

How many mags will it take to penetrate the Gunt? I'm not even sure Armour Piercing rounds can do the job

A hollow point will pop the gunt like a water balloon.

 

[Neil]

Thread theme:

 

[AltisticRight]

Chance of this happening is 0% because Ralph is a fat pussy and he's afraid of Jim's Korean pet who's a master at Tae Kwon Do and karaoke.

 

[free_protons4u]

Chance of this happening is 0% because Ralph is a fat pussy and he's afraid of Jim's Korean pet who's a master at Tae Kwon Do and karaoke.

I dunno. I think it could happen. The timing of this is great. Year of the Chud is coming up and Ralph’s wounds are still fresh. Jim will rub some salt in and it may force Ralph’s hand. If Ralph actually shows up, will PPP follow through on his promise?

 

[PhoBingas]

This is gonna be like Ralph's multi-part gamer-gate retrospective doc... or his book... or the visit he was going to pay shannon... or the first PPP fight. I'd be shocked if gunt actually goes to Minnesota and would be willing to put CoachCoin down on him just impotently raging from his rental house.

 

[joebobmurphy]

If Ralph does show up, he's just going to jiggle for a while until the cops show up and kindly escort him away so he can go on twitter about how "that fuckin pussy, Medicare called the cops like a fuckin bitch!"

That would be the smartest way to go about it. Though, showing up at all is extremely dumb, Take note, Ralph; do not give Jim an actual excuse to shoot you. Think about it. You have a history of violent, threatening behavior and have left behind a paper trail of personal threats towards him. That's the legality taken care of. Plus, you are a complete asshole who has insulted his wife on numerous occasions and, if he shot you, he would no doubt make 100k in superchats on his next stream. The temptation would be incredibly hard to resist. Remember how you you keep saying that you would kill certain people if you could get away with it? Well, Jim would not only get away with it but also make a lot of money from putting a hollowpoint in your frontal lobe.

If you don't want your final legacy to be a liveleak-style video of you getting shot in the face, just don't. Otherwise, I am looking forward to seeing your face of death. LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO!

 

[namvata]

I said it in the Jim thread and I'll say it again here. NO WARNING SHOTS.

I'll bring the 12 gauge and give ralph a gunt full of rock salt

 

[Grotesque Bushes]

I hope Jim defends his life and property with 2 tons of ANFO

 

[A-Stump]

I'm starting to think he has a humiliation fetish and needs to be beaten up to act out on it.

 

[Butwhythough]

How many mags will it take to penetrate the Gunt? I'm not even sure Armour Piercing rounds can do the job

7.62x39 generally does the trick.

 

[Fag Albert]

I don't even think Ralph's gonna make it to the driveway. Dude's gonna get stomped on by a mob of spergs in shitty photon costumes.

 

[There Is Light At The End]

Jade will immediately spear him and take him for his hide, meat, and bones.

I don't think there's any meat left. Only skin and copious amounts of lard

 

[make_it_so]

Chance of this happening is 0% because Ralph is a fat pussy and he's afraid of Jim's Korean pet who's a master at Tae Kwon Do and karaoke.

Karoke can be very deadly.

 

[Reversal]

Ralph shows up at Jim's driveway and knocks at the door like an assmad boghog. Jim opens the door, but instead of shooting Ralph right then and there, as one would expect, Jim opens his arms and says, "What's wrong my son?"

Tears well up in Ralph's eyes. It is almost impossible for Ralph to formulate the words now that he has met his internet dad for the first time in real life. "G-g-gamergate..." Ralph stammers. "It all started with Gamergate. Nothing is going right! I don't what to do anymore daddy Jim!" Ralph proceeds to go into a longwinded manic diatribe about all of his haters. He is clearly intoxicated.

"Shhh... there there my son," Jim says as he embraces Ralph, as a father would his son, even though Jim's arms couldn't get very far around Ralphs girth. "Come, let us go into my anime dungeon and we can sort this out like adults."

Ralph is welcomed into Jim's home. There, in Jim's anime dungeon, he is shocked to find all of his haters and a-logs. Some of which include, but are not limited to: Jade, PPP, Nick Rekeita, Alice, Flamenco, Gator, Warski, Cog, the Vickers Family, the woman cop he tried to punch that one time, and even Null! An intervention is staged and Ralph realizes the error of his ways. He commits himself to being a better person and father towards his children. They all share a hug, Ralph lets out a good cry, they roast a hog together, and Ralph finally gets to spend some quality time with his internet dad.

In the aftermath, Ralph decided to finally put an end to the Killstream and got a real job. He stopped being terminally online and everything about Ralph was scrubbed from the Kiwifarms - and even the Internet at large. Ralph stopped being a wigger and transformed himself, with the help of others, into an upstanding member of society. Ralph disassociated with Nick Fuentes because Ralph could no longer associate with such a degenerate homosexual coomer, Ralph was able to rekindled his friendship with Null once again. Ralph and Null sometimes got together to laugh about how silly Ralph used to be before the intervention. When Jim eventually passed away from cancer-aids they all reunited to remember Jim and celebrate the legacy he left behind: his son Ethan Ralph.

The End

 

[Schlomo Silverscreenblatt]

My eldest who is 11 wants to fight Ralph. He's pretty confident in himself. Chip off the old block. His actual question was "if we see Ralph can I beat him up?" My first response was no before I remembered that my child is a child. He can pummel Ralph with no repercussions. Kid is 5'3" 150lbs and full of piss and vinegar just like his ol man. I was six feet tall when I was eleven but I guess that's what I get for preferring petite women. West Memphis Arkansas isn't very far from here. I'd like to see him explain away a child pummeling him into the street to the catboy nation.

Don't tell your kids about lolcows you degenerate freak.

 

[TitchBitties]

Thread theme:

Ol Guntzilla was hoppin around Jim's driveway like a big playground

 

[heathercho]

This is fucking gay and extremely autistic perfect.

FTFY.

 

[TheAntiE-CelebLeague00]

Couldn't Ralph just stay in the town for a week and try to confront him in a public place? I mean if this (Ralph knocking on Metokur's door) does happen, which I doubt it will, he will just knock on Metokur's door. No one will answer, and he will leave before the police come. Like Frank Hassle going to Boogie's house, but if Boogie never answered the door.

Jim Metokur isnt going to facedox himself so he wont confront Ralph. I suppose he could wear a helmet to hide his face, but this is unlikely. I also highly doubt Metokur's wife will confront Ralph, directly. Ralph also does everything publicly. He will telegraph his journey hours or days before it happens. So they could also very likely just leave the house while Ralph is there (he will stream it), and call the police from afar. Then once Ralph is escorted off on stream they can just go back home.

I understand Ralph isnt smart, but this wont work out for him. He has to do this in secret if he wants it to work. Dispatch knocked on Dax Herra's door and got Dax to answer, but that is because Dax didn't know ahead of time. This, if it occurs, will be dead air and nothing will happen.