Community Munchausen's by Internet (Malingerers, Munchies, Spoonies, etc) - Feigning Illnesses for Attention

[Ophelia Johnson]

i thoroughly enjoy reading every single post about each and every munchie loser on this thread - thank you to all of the writers here for the amazing reads! so many munchie superstars, yet no one has tickled my fancy quite as much as our very own 40 year old og - the smelly, retarded garbage pail kid herself - dani marina. i don’t see too much about her here these days, but the IF/pearl clutchers’ subreddit keeps me up to date. i about shit my pants laughing at this recent, unintentional shitpost of hers:

 

[MetalParakeet]

I'm just learning about Shelby. I'm just happy that his attractive ex escaped and now he's shacked up with some obese sped looking chick. She absolutely looks like the type that'll continue gaining and then decide she's got health issues that are totes chronic and not fat related

So I looked up jaina. Seems she's got an ongoing court case against her with some credit company.

Looks like she got into a relationship with a guy immediately post divorce and has been with him since. When she announced her relationship on fb, even her friends seemed shocked and seemed to think she had still been married.

 

[A tree]

I'm just learning about Shelby. I'm just happy that his attractive ex escaped and now he's shacked up with some obese sped looking chick. She absolutely looks like the type that'll continue gaining and then decide she's got health issues that are totes chronic and not fat related

All I could think through the whole thing was what a tremendous self own this was looks wize. Shelby could have been an absoltuely fantastic lesbian. She's legitimately very attractive and had she hit the gym instead of munching she could be buff, futch, cute, named after a fast car for fuck sake. I would almost turn for her myself if I hadn't already found out I don't like vagina when it comes down to brass tacks.

Now she's going to become a wierd genderblob. And all becuse she was too short to be a model and too repressed to be gay. Sad. Pour one out for my lesbian homies you lost a cute one to the gender cult. She probably would have still been a cluster b nightmare even as a lez tho I suppose.

 

[vondables]

Someone needs to tell Bethany that the only real disease she has is a thunderous case of herpes

 

[NSFW]

These munchies act like doctors aren’t dicks to everyone at some point. They can have bad days too Beefanie.

 

[Unheard Bird]

Someone needs to tell Bethany that the only real disease she has is a thunderous case of herpes
View attachment 3350678

Or self inflicted obesity

 

[disco_chocobo]

Someone needs to tell Bethany that the only real disease she has is a thunderous case of herpes
View attachment 3350678

damn what an unflattering photo

 

[son of jurassic bark]

damn what an unflattering photo

She gets off on it, I swear

 

[Plague Flea]

damn what an unflattering photo

She looks rather like low-effort troon Dave “Danielle” Muscato.

 

[Dovahshit]

latest updates on sad walrus:
here she is complaining about feeling ''poorly'' and not remembering taking any of these videos. sure



well she got the leg surgery at last

and what do ya know its still there -_-


other things include,
she kept talking about how she wants her dad to be there,
more complaining how sick she is.
also im wondering how sky high her tolerance is as she is also blabbering about a combo of morphine, ketamine and fentanyl,
thats some tolerance there

 

[For The Internet]

God, Shelby is a lot. Like, a lot.

I used to volunteer for a LGBT crisis line. I came across teens in really difficult situations. Back then (the mid 2000s) trans teens were pretty rare and we still had a whole protocol for them that was different from just gay/lesbian stuff because it's really a completely separate thing unless you're trans and gay.

Here's the thing about being gay (from a combination of lived experience as a dyke and observation): You are born that way and it does not change. It starts really young, and even if it does take a lot of years to come to the 'oh shit I'm gay' revelation (which usually comes in your teens in my experience, even if people are in denial), it's always been there in the background. You look back and think 'oh shit, that obsession I had as a kid with -insert celebrity- was actually me being attracted to them' or 'my sex dreams have always been about same sex shit'.

I'm not trans, but it seems to me that it's the same thing. Just knowing and talking to different trans people who were trans before it became the fashionable queer/social media cause, they were always aware of not feeling comfortable in their own skin and always had issues surrounding gender, even as a young kid. They usually presented masculine/feminine well before identifying openly as the opposite gender, although if they were from conservative backgrounds they usually didn't to the extent they would have if they'd been allowed to express themselves however they liked.

Self-loathing gay people will go to extraordinary lengths to avoid being seen as gay. She grew up in a conservative and unsupportive environment and that will fuck with any gay person, but I think there's a bit more to her extreme aversion to being a lesbian. I'm seeing more and more people deny being gay because nobody cares if you're a garden variety gay.

People widely (and incorrectly) think being gay is no big deal these days because it's not the 50s and you can get married for reals now! Gay men are seen by woke social media as being no different to hetero men, which is baffling until you realise the people saying that are all bored cishetero teen girls who decided to be ambiguously queer and maybe also genderspecial.

These days you really CAN choose to be gay, and that's pretty fucked up. You can choose to be trans for clout because there's no way of fairly gatekeeping HRT and SRS so anyone can go to an informed consent clinic and do it. That's so much more fucked up because you can't undo the damage from hormones or surgery and so many people end up with regret. The levels of trans regret were never so high back when you had to fly to Thailand to get your dick cut off.

Shelby is no different from the guys who fuck Jeffee Starr but swear they're not gay. In the immortal words of Chris Chan: DYKES, DYKES, CHINA.

 

[ZapThePickle]

latest updates on sad walrus:
here she is complaining about feeling ''poorly'' and not remembering taking any of these videos. sure

View attachment 3353538 View attachment 3353542 View attachment 3353545

well she got the leg surgery at last
View attachment 3353547
and what do ya know its still there -_-
View attachment 3353550

other things include,
she kept talking about how she wants her dad to be there,
more complaining how sick she is.
also im wondering how sky high her tolerance is as she is also blabbering about a combo of morphine, ketamine and fentanyl,
thats some tolerance there

Wonder if she is starting to circle the drain? MRSA isnt a fuck around and find out type of infection....shes slowly growing weapons grade biological warfare type bacteria now

Spoiler: Power level by proxy

My Mom had MRSA and it absolutely DESTROYED her legs.... Paige you aren't gonna be walking anytime soon that shits gnarly. Like actually die from gnarly, once it gets to a point its mutated, and becomes resistant (and considering how many antibiotic resistant infections shes had) they literally just drug you into a coma and let you die, its not pretty.

 

[Ophelia Johnson]

Someone needs to tell Bethany that the only real disease she has is a thunderous case of herpes
View attachment 3350678

bethany, you self absorbed fat fuck, i think what actually happens is that when a doctor with half a brain meets you, they realize within five seconds that they don’t fucking want to know your name bc they are hoping that you’ll never return.

i don’t think i have ever heard this slob say one positive thing about any of the medical professionals she has seen. bethany greets every person she sees with disdain, but at the same time, she expects anyone who has the privilege to meet her to be grateful that she is gracing them with her presence. HOW can someone as repulsive as bethany be so in love with themselves??

 

[For The Internet]

Wonder if she is starting to circle the drain? MRSA isnt a fuck around and find out type of infection....shes slowly growing weapons grade biological warfare type bacteria now

Spoiler: Power level by proxy

My Mom had MRSA and it absolutely DESTROYED her legs.... Paige you aren't gonna be walking anytime soon that shits gnarly. Like actually die from gnarly, once it gets to a point its mutated, and becomes resistant (and considering how many antibiotic resistant infections shes had) they literally just drug you into a coma and let you die, its not pretty.

Even garden variety non-MRSA staph can royally fuck you up, especially if it gets into the bone. You can still lose a leg to regular staph if it isn't treated properly. Slight PL but the surgery to clean out staph is brutal if it gets bad and can leave you with permanent damage to the affected area. It's bad enough when it's not resistant to antibiotics. I wonder how long it took Paige to work out how deadly MRSA actually is, and how bad things can get in terms of pain when you have a nearly indestructible superbug running rampant in your body. She surely knows now judging by the cocktail of pain meds she's on.

Knowing what it's like to have that running through you makes me inclined to be sympathetic because even though she did it to herself she didn't know what it would be like until it happened.

Then she did it to herself again. And again. And again. She knows, she wants to die, so there's no sympathy to be had. She wants this, so let her have it.

Her poor parents, though.

 

[lolcow yoghurt]

I heard about a guy who got injured around his toenail in a beach. People didn't know what to do and did something wrong (and it got infected) which lead to amputations, of his toe first, then foot, then his leg below the knee and then above the knee. I was very young when I heard this and it scared the shit out of me.

ETA: can some medfag explain what are MRSA and staph?

 

[Dnein]

I heard about a guy who got injured around his toenail in a beach. People didn't know what to do and did something wrong (and it got infected) which lead to amputations, of his toe first, then foot, then his leg below the knee and then above the knee. I was very young when I heard this and it scared the shit out of me.

ETA: can some medfag explain what are MRSA and staph?

If a real question: MRSA is a staph infection, but not all staph infections are MRSA.

Staph infections are anything involving staphylococcus bacteria. This is a group of bacteria including many species (just named for being round clusters), so any of those species could be a staph infection, but the most common culprit in humans is staphylococcus aureus (s. aureus).

A good percentage of us have s. aureus on us constantly, and in it's garden variety form it is usually harmless. It happens to be an adaptive bacteria able to survive with or without oxygen (facultative anaerobe), so it can grow in unique places. Normally they are only an issue in mass or in immunocompromised people.

Bacteria can pick up little extra traits by a few means, and those can add features that make the bacteria more damaging, more infectious, or antibiotic resistant. These added traits can cause things like simple sinusitis, pimples, or food poisoning (what most people would call a staph infection). Bacteria can also pass their traits to other bacteria.

When it picks up antibiotic resistance as one of those bonus traits it becomes MRSA (methicillin resistant s. aureus). Normal staph can get nuked by basics like penicillin (meth is similar), but now you have unstoppable growth. It's pretty common in medical settings, with livestock, and a good number of people even carry MRSA without symptoms in the general population too.

This means a munch could pick it up pretty easily when hospital surfing, demanding immunosuppressants, etc. Hand washing, gloves, sterile technique, etc can be damned good at preventing it, so when they play fast and loose and prod around in open wounds they increase risk. Play with medical waste for a bonus guarantee.

 

[son of jurassic bark]

Wonder if she is starting to circle the drain? MRSA isnt a fuck around and find out type of infection....shes slowly growing weapons grade biological warfare type bacteria now

Spoiler: Power level by proxy

My Mom had MRSA and it absolutely DESTROYED her legs.... Paige you aren't gonna be walking anytime soon that shits gnarly. Like actually die from gnarly, once it gets to a point its mutated, and becomes resistant (and considering how many antibiotic resistant infections shes had) they literally just drug you into a coma and let you die, its not pretty.

Was in the er once years ago and saw a guy come in on crutches, dude had the scariest case of mrsa I'd ever seen on somebody who was still ambulatory. I couldn't believe he was up and moving. He was this paper grey color all over, his face was drawn, and one of his legs looked hollowed out inside. The smell was awful (I was there for a stomach thing and even tho I try my hardest not to hurt people's feelings when it's something they can't help, it started up another round of vomiting; if you've ever smelled putrefaction and had that physical reaction), you could see bone and parts of it were black black black. You couldn't stop me from finding somebody to chop off a limb that infected, fuck saving it at that point. MRSA doesn't fuck around

Imagine the insane loneliness and inability to function as a person, to be so pathologically attention whorey that you fuck with that

 

[Hugh Wotmaet]

I don't know anything about MS. What about this video makes it look suspicious?

Not claiming to be an expert here, but my Mother was diagnosed with MS something like 20 years ago

Short version: stairs would be impossible, those heels absolutely not she would fall—especially combined with those stairs. A service dog instead of a cane? Bending over that far or looking downward would be a big no. Those sounds she’s making is trying to mimic some of the autonomous dysfunction that occurs with the esophagus

Just one of the munchiest munchies to ever munch a munch, despite how MS can and does vary between people and how it changes over time

 

[A tree]

Autie is starting low key munching again. It's endometriosis now. The timeless technique of pushing your tummy out. It goes up and down quite a bit over the course of the story. Don't remember her claiming that previously but may be wrong. Lol fat.

 

[howmanypizzas69]

Wonder if she is starting to circle the drain? MRSA isnt a fuck around and find out type of infection....shes slowly growing weapons grade biological warfare type bacteria now

Spoiler: Power level by proxy

My Mom had MRSA and it absolutely DESTROYED her legs.... Paige you aren't gonna be walking anytime soon that shits gnarly. Like actually die from gnarly, once it gets to a point its mutated, and becomes resistant (and considering how many antibiotic resistant infections shes had) they literally just drug you into a coma and let you die, its not pretty.

Hasn’t Page had MRSA like 27 times at this point? She’s been a superbug incubator for years now, hard to know which one will finally get her for good.