Prison Letters (5/8/22 + 6/1/22) Two New Chris Jail Letters from Helena Fiorenza

[Roger Smith]

Lord Christian Chan Sonichu 3rd Beezlebub of Sodom and Gomorrah beetle juice reincarnate v3.0 has spoken

 

[AnOminous]

It's looking more and more like Josh is gonna get dragged into this one because he's the only one close and mentally competent enough for worthwhile testimony

Most of what he knows is hearsay. Some of it might fall into any of a number of exceptions, but even those would require an inference, i.e. he can't really testify that Chris admitted fucking his mom (an adverse inference), which would be admissible, but he could testify Chris made some pretty vague statements boasting about having sex in general (which probably would not be).

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Some of it might fall into any of a number of exceptions...

Well this court case regards a rather exceptional individual.

Really? Well I'm From From Richmond and I've ner heard anybody use the term "covered hams."

Oh no, not in Richmond. It's a CWCville expression.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Oh no, not in Richmond. It's a CWCville expression.

I see.... Ya know this soul bonding feels an awful lot like the kind they used to have at chuck's
.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Most of what he knows is hearsay. Some of it might fall into any of a number of exceptions, but even those would require an inference, i.e. he can't really testify that Chris admitted fucking his mom (an adverse inference), which would be admissible, but he could testify Chris made some pretty vague statements boasting about having sex in general (which probably would not be).

They'd only even bother calling in Null to testify if it was going to trial. You don't have to go above and beyond to collect testimony for a simple plea deal in a misdemeanor court. If Chris insisted they they go full Phoenix Wright, and they bumped it up to Circuit Court out of frustration, the prosecution might bother to call Null in to maximize the amount of testimony they have against Chris.

The main reason they wouldn't bother with Null is that he's in Serbia. It's unrealistic to bring him in physically, and they can't take a deposition in a controlled environment unless he showed up to the embassy, so they'd be limited to a dubious zoom call without the ability to enforce the oath.

So yeah, it's *extremely* unlikely for Null to be involved, for many reasons.

 

[FinnSven]

With Betty's name out there I wouldn't be surprised if she starts getting "JULAY" messages left on her answerphone by Chris' orbiters.

As a side note, its suspected that Chris is keeping a list of the names and addresses of everyone who wrote to him in hospital. If he gets internet access on his release (depending on where he's going and if his tugboat remains intact etc.) its likely he'll dox everyone who wrote to him. Plus give the names and work places of the jail officers and hospital workers who he did not like.

Twitter will likely have to increase the character count to 65536 in order to accommodate the rant he will post upon his release.

What if Elon Musk takes him as a form of Revenge upon Twitter and the hoops they are making him jump through?

 

[AnOminous]

The main reason they wouldn't bother with Null is that he's in Serbia. It's unrealistic to bring him in physically, and they can't take a deposition in a controlled environment unless he showed up to the embassy, so they'd be limited to a dubious zoom call without the ability to enforce the oath.

So yeah, it's *extremely* unlikely for Null to be involved, for many reasons.

Especially since his testimony wouldn't even be very useful. He can at most put some of the events into context but the only real issue here (at least with the current charge) is did Chris stick his dick in Barb? The answer is apparently yes. Guilty.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Especially since his testimony wouldn't even be very useful. He can at most put some of the events into context but the only real issue here (at least with the current charge) is did Chris stick his dick in Barb? The answer is apparently yes. Guilty.

If they were going to throw the book at Chris and include charges related to him taking Barb's money, they'd probably call on Null since he's the person who discovered it. But, again, it's not gonna happen.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

I don't know, they booted him out pretty quick back to jail. While Chris does have the air of insanity, when it really comes down to it, he's adjudicated as being not insane pretty quickly.

I honestly think that's all they could justify pre-sentancing or for the crime he has been charged with without some serious medical justification signed off by Doctors and Chris isn't worth the effort at least not yet.

@Pointless Sperg It wouldnt let me quote your longer post, but yea sorry when I think of legal representation I think Solicitor rather than Atourny / Lawer it's a British thing my bad.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

@Pointless Sperg It wouldnt let me quote your longer post, but yea sorry when I think of legal representation I think Solicitor rather than Atourny / Lawer it's a British thing my bad.

To be fair it would be pretty cool if people still wore wigs in court here.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

To be fair it would be pretty cool if people still wore wigs in court here.

And two pairs of Silk socks if your in certain courts (no I am not joking).

 

[Basketball Jones]

the staff in 1 Hickory at [DATA EXPUNGED] in
[REDACTED] literally had me Pinned and recreated the
Pin-Me-Down event from Fourth Grade (Minus the Choke
Hold) to a "T", complete with a Full Photogenic
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Moment, that also made a
Full Dejá Vu of it. Should Any of the Staff, in
particular Betty Hoover who Instigated the Event,

>Betty Hoover INSTIGATED the event
That’s an…interesting word choice, Chris…but we all know what it really means

What do you guys speculate he did that made this nice and probably underpaid lady sound the Tard Control?

[EDIT] Betty Hoover x Mary Lee Walsh lezzie fanart when?

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

The main reason they wouldn't bother with Null is that he's in Serbia. It's unrealistic to bring him in physically, and they can't take a deposition in a controlled environment unless he showed up to the embassy, so they'd be limited to a dubious zoom call without the ability to enforce the oath.

So yeah, it's *extremely* unlikely for Null to be involved, for many reasons.

I don't know how this works, I guess if it was a really high profile case with a lot riding on it, they might bother bringing witnesses from halfway around the globe, but how would that work? Would they tell you "Show up or else" or would you get a plane ticket sponsored by Uncle Sam?

Of course, this is purely out of interest, the idea that Null has to show up at this trial for some granny-banger to receive a minimum sentence is just nonsensical.

I see.... Ya know this soul bonding feels an awful lot like the kind they used to have at chuck's
.

Hohoho, no! Patented Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu Soulbonding. Old family expression.

 

[thegooddoctor]

Nobody has ever interacted with him "professionally".

I mean Null somewhat counts since he was the one who tried to protect him and monitor the damage during The Idea Guys Saga for those twats who were fucking with him, He's the closest to a professional interaction and actual friend Chris had, he sure pissed that away didn't he?

 

[No Batty Boys in Jamaica]

The main reason they wouldn't bother with Null is that he's in Serbia. It's unrealistic to bring him in physically, and they can't take a deposition in a controlled environment unless he showed up to the embassy, so they'd be limited to a dubious zoom call without the ability to enforce the oath.

So yeah, it's *extremely* unlikely for Null to be involved, for many reasons.

This is Null when he is extradited to the US.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

I don't know how this works, I guess if it was a really high profile case with a lot riding on it, they might bother bringing witnesses from halfway around the globe, but how would that work? Would they tell you "Show up or else" or would you get a plane ticket sponsored by Uncle Sam?

Yes, if Null were the star witness for Chris' terrorism or war crimes trial, they'd pay for his flights, hotel room, and give him a stipend for food, etc. Either the prosecution OR the defense could request this if they thought it would help either side and were able to convince the judge that the testimony was vital.

If the prosecution were using his testimony, they'd 100% have to do it since you have a constitutional right to confront your accuser in person.

If Null refused to come, he could get in trouble if he ever set foot in the US again. You can't say no to a subpoena, it's contempt of court. They could even extradite him from Serbia since there's a treaty. Realistically though, they would never bother to extradite someone for contempt of court. They'd just pressure him heavily, try to get Serbia to revoke his visa if it were a homeland security-related case, and issue a bench warrant so he'd get arrested if he ever came back.

 

[AnOminous]

To be fair it would be pretty cool if people still wore wigs in court here.

Only if you got to dress as a full Regency fop.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Only if you got to dress as a full Regency fop.

The wig's far predate the Regency era, it was part of the Sumptuary laws regarding allowed and permissable dress and it working both ways.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Chris has a very distinct history of flipping the fuck out

So it seems that to CWC, if running isn't an option then violently attacking to escape is, in the style of a wild beast.

Another example of that primal instinct "thinking" is the GameStop incident.

"I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left."

- "Honor Roll"

 

[🔪Cold Steel Brand Rep🔪]

Most of what he knows is hearsay.

If he's called on for testimony I feel like it would be primarily as the character witness with the nearest degree of separation to Chris when he's had his more memorable moments. It would be stupid to drag him back with any more intention than performing an open-and-shut case with a mental health angle on either side, but in case you didn't notice we love to drag out court cases with hearsay and meaningless witness testimony here if a lawyer isn't smart enough to shut it down.