The best thing about Pat is he has zero awareness of how pathetic and crazy he comes across. In his mind, everyone is blown away by his alpha masculinity and floored to find out that a cool jock like him is a Trekkie. Meanwhile, everyone deduces his effeminate retardation as soon as he opens his mouth.
I don't think you have grasped the gargantuan obesity of this man. It cannot be captured in a tiny word like "fat." Even "corpulent," even if you imagine Baron Harkonnen while saying it, is not enough to capture this man's sheer. . .I dunno. . .esurience or some shit.
Pat is so fat he makes Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.
Pat is so fat that if he ate Jabba the Hutt, he wouldn't even be noticeably fatter himself.
Most of his natural ruddiness is red shifted to infrared due to his gravitational pull.
Fun fact: Fat Pat, like a neutron star, bends the light around such that you can see the back of his head from the front. At a certain girth he stopped grinding black kids into pepperoni with a machine, and just relied on his gravitation and the spaghettification to set in near his event horizon.
Have you considered purchasing a dildo of him you weird freak?
His link says nine inches, not seven inches:
This pig has contributed more joy to people in a matter of seconds than Rick has his entire life. Smarter and slimmer, too.
You had me worried there for a second brotherman.
