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Which poll option would make the best poll?

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"Sterculius was the Roman deity of stench, fertilized fields and feces most foul. His primary worshipers were farmers and laborers who would call upon him for mercy when dealing with dung and cleaning latrines, as well as for healthy excrement from men and beasts. His cult proved unpopular in the long run and it was speculated that he was merely an aspect of Saturn, the God of Time and Agriculture venerated by downtrodden peasants. Despite the lack of popularity even in his own time, the spirit of feces would enjoy more popularity in the lands of Asia, with similar beliefs arising in early Indian, Taoist, Buddhist, and Japanese folklore among others, all under various names with a shared etymological origin and either being portrayed as a fiery being of anger or an old blind man who in Japan was said to be the first feces of the underworld goddess Izanami and may have a connection with the Kanbari bathroom spirit, and his main reverence was for expelling foul odors, maintaining fertilized fields and (for some reason) some sects claimed he decided what kids will look like when they're born... He must've been merged with a different fertility deity at some point..."



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"A female counterpart to Sterculius also existed known as Cloacina, the deity of canals, sewers and toilets. Unlike her male counterpart, Cloacina enjoyed more popularity due to presiding over the Cloaca Maxima, the sewer system of Rome, with nobles and even emperors honoring her in fear of their homes or streets being overrun with sewage. She was supposedly an aspect of Venus, supposedly back when the sewers were canals made in her honor, but was later fully re-merged with the goddess of love and eventually forgotten. Despite this, the female spirit of toilets (much like her male counterpart) also saw more popularity in the asian continent under various titles, most notably Mao Guu, a chinese imperial concubine whose tragic murder on the toilet saw her venerated as a saint of women and latrines or merged with a pre-existing toilet goddess, although at one point she was merged with the 'three hags' found across many cultures. A more sinister version also existed known as Cheuksin, an old korean goddess who was assigned to watch over toilets by the Great God, much to her dissatisfaction, making her a very vengeful and perverted spirit. Some lesser known local folklore in Japan also holds a small belief in a toilet megami (goddess) which has ties to the more modern urban folklore surrounding ghostly hands in toilets as well as tales of mischievous but weak demons who were said to feed on feces and outhouse filth. Even in the later Aztec empire a similar being emerged with the vengeance, perversion and fecal nature of Cheuksin known as Ixcuina, and by many other names as well."

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"A similar deity, supposedly known as Crepitus was also said to have been worshiped by the romans as the deity of sewers, toilets, outhouses, feces and anything else related to dropping stinkbombs. Either being a merger of Sterculius and Cloacina (a common practice) or a parody character made to poke fun at the unusual animism of the Romans."

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"But even older than them all is the spirit or demon of disease known as Sulak of Babylon, the cursed turd said to be it who watches over all outhouses, hitting those unfortunate enough to enter its 'temple' with all manner of excrement, disease and foul odors, and presumably either an aspect or later merged with the underworld deity of many names, Ennugi-Nergal. The wretched demon lord of sloth Belphegor may also share ties with these rancid beings, as it is said that he too also haunts toilets, controls filth and desires feces as offerings."

And now you know who to blame for shitposting I guess.
 
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